Zane's the Heat Seekers

by Zane

  Tempest managed to make it to the rest room somehow, and not a moment too soon. As usual, the ladies’ room was standing room only. As soon as Tempest squatted, at least a two-liter came flowing out of her bladder. She came out of the stall and found Janessa in the mirror straightening her dress—what there was of it.

  “Uh-huh,” Janessa started in on her. “I saw your fresh behind out there flirting, Tempest.”

  Tempest laughed, pushing her out of the way so she could wash her hands. The rest of the vanity area had women adjusting everything from lipstick to bra straps in the mirror. One sistah was trying to fit a pair of 44DDDs into a 36A. Maybe she thinks four breastesses are better than two, Tempest thought.

  “I wasn’t even flirting, Janessa,” Tempest said, halfway convinced the statement was true. “He just told me his name.”

  “Geren.”

  Tempest diverted her eyes to Janessa’s reflection in the mirror, wondering how she could have known that. Janessa had hit the dance floor with a quickness so there was no way Geren could have tried to talk to her before Tempest met him at the bar. “How’d you know that? Do you know him from someplace?” she asked brazenly.

  “Nope, never met him.” Janessa giggled. “The dude I’ve been dancing with for the past ten songs is his best friend. Dvontè told me Geren’s name.”

  “Dvontè, huh?”

  Janessa started grinning from ear to ear, and Tempest knew it meant trouble. She sensed the beginnings of a one-night stand developing. “You really like him, don’t you?”

  “He’s aiight,” Janessa replied. “He asked me for the digits, but I’m making him sweat it out.”

  “So that means you’re going to give them to him?”

  “Damn skippy! Did you see how fine that man is?”

  They started out the door to make room for the next group of hoochie mommas. “Not really,” Tempest lied so Janessa wouldn’t know she’d thoroughly checked him out. “It’s too dark to see clearly up in here, and you were all the way on the dance floor.”

  “Well, I’ll have to introduce you two, then.” Janessa knew Tempest was frontin’. She knew the heifer had bionic vision when it came to checking out the brothas.

  Once they got back to the bar, introductions were made all around. Tempest was not even impressed. Dvontè was beside Geren, sitting on her stool and her $9.99 jacket. She wanted to pimp-slap his ass.

  Dvontè didn’t particularly care for Tempest either. He figured she was one of those celibate sistahs, sitting on her pussy like she’s collecting dividends on the shit. Then again, she might be one of those undercover freakazoids, he thought.

  After they’d exchanged pleasantries, Geren reminded Tempest that she owed him a dance. No sooner had she taken his hand so he could lead the way when the DJ switched up on them and put on a slow jam, “Beauty” by Dru Hill.

  That threw Tempest for a loop. For some reason, whenever she finally got ready to make a spectacle of herself on the dance floor because she still did all the old dances like the Bus Stop and the Robot, the DJ would put on a slow I-wanna-smoke-your-boots-off song.

  Tempest decided to go for it anyway. Besides, she wanted to see if Geren really was all that. There was only one way to find out without demanding he drop his drawers. She knew once he started grinding up against her, one of four things was bound to happen. He would either have a pelvic area flatter than hers, she would feel a pencil pricking her skin, she would feel a soft banana that had some potential or he would make her eyes bulge. When a man had an elephantine dick, she couldn’t help but visualize it in her mind. They hit the dance floor, and if Tempest hadn’t immediately closed her eyelids, her eyes would have popped slap out of her head.

  CHAPTER 4

  to date or not to date

  janessa and Tempest stayed at the club until it closed at 3:00 A.M., which was a first. Normally, Tempest would give Janessa two hours max to get her groove on before she started motioning toward the exit.

  Not that night though. Tempest danced the night away with Geren and even drank a couple of hurricanes. When the two of them weren’t freaking all over each other on the dance floor, they were off somewhere lingering in a dark corner.

  The entire ride home, Janessa tried to get the lowdown from her. Tempest just kept belting out, “I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind,” the chorus from that old R. Kelly slow jam. A far cry from “Nobody’s Supposed to Be Here,” which was sooooooo indicative of her feelings on the way to the club.

  Tempest practically skipped up the sidewalk to her building, taking the steps two at a time up to her third-floor condo, but she finally cut the singing once they got inside. Not a second too soon for Janessa—she loved Tempest, but wished she would leave singing da hell alone.

  “I’m about to hop in the shower,” Tempest blurted out, a faraway, glassy look in her eyes. She seemed distracted as she spoke, her mind obviously still on Geren. “I can’t stand smelling like cigarette smoke, so I’m going to wash my hair right quick.”

  “Damn, Tempest! How many times a week do you wash your freakin’ hair?” For all the years Janessa had known her, Tempest had had this mad obsession about her hair.

  “I only wash it a couple of times a week,” Tempest replied, smacking her lips. “I just like to smell fresh, is all. If it weren’t for you dragging my ass to that nicotine-infested club, I wouldn’t feel so dirty in the first place.”

  “Hmph, well from the looks of it, you didn’t make out too bad tonight, homie.” Janessa plopped down on the sofa and flicked on the tube. She could finally watch some TV without Fred’s skank ass sitting across from her. What’s Happening Now was on. Janessa used to love her some Rog, ReRun, and Dwayne when she was a kid. She thought Dee was the bomb and used to lick her lips fantasizing about what one of Shirley’s cheeseburgers would taste like. “So spill it, Tempest. Are you and Geren going to hook up again, or what?”

  “Maybe, maybe not,” Tempest smirked. “He seems trustworthy enough. Then again, they all do in the beginning. I agreed to take his number, but I need to think long and hard before I call him. I’m sick and tired of putting my heart and soul into a relationship only to end up being hurt.”

  Tempest took off the blazer of her suit and went to get some fresh towels and sheets, along with a blanket and pillow, for Janessa from the linen closet. After she came back in the living room and placed them down beside her, Janessa decided to sweat the issue. “So, are you gonna call?”

  “I don’t know, geesh,” Tempest hissed, giving her a flustered glance. “Like I said, I need to give this whole thing some serious consideration.”

  “Tempest, you have to learn to leave the past in the past. Granted, a lot of nuccas in D.C. are up to no damn good, but Geren seems like he has it going on,” Janessa stated convincingly. “He’s attractive, successful, and currently unattached. You’re attractive, successful, and currently unattached. You would be doing yourself a serious injustice not to at least give the brotha a chance.”

  “How do you know so much about Geren?” Tempest asked with mild but amused irritation, the corners of her mouth clearly fighting back a smile.

  “I quizzed Dvontè about him, of course. He and I both agree. You and Geren look mad cute together.”

  Tempest giggled and turned her back to Janessa, trying to hide the fact she was blushing. “Speaking of Dvontè, I’m extremely proud of you for not leaving the club with him tonight.”

  How dare she? “Oh, so now I’m a hoe, huh?”

  Tempest came over and gave Janessa a love-slap on her shoulder. “Of course not. That’s not how I meant it.”

  “How many different ways are there for you to mean it, heifer?” Janessa was pissed, and not even trying to fake the funk about it. Tempest gave her a blank stare, trying to think of an answer. They both knew she couldn’t. “My one-night stand days are over, Tempest! They have been for a long-ass time! I thought you, of all people, understood that! You’re supposed to be my gurl and shit!”
>
  “I am your gurl, you silly goose,” Tempest chuckled, pinching Janessa’s left cheek before heading to the bathroom. “Don’t even get loud up in here with me, sistahgurl. I might have to open a can of whup-ass and beat you down with that pillow.”

  “Yeah, right tramp.” Janessa laughed, feeling the tension breaking. “I know you think you’re my second mother, but I can handle my bizness. You just handle yours.”

  Tempest poked her head back around the corner. “Just be careful with Dvontè. He has playa written all over him.” Janessa didn’t reply. She just wanted the whole thing to be squashed. “I’ll be out in a few. Make yourself at home, but you know that drill already. Want me to help you pull out the sofa bed?”

  “Naw, I got it!” Once Janessa heard the showerhead come on, she searched Tempest’s computer desk for a notepad and pen. By the time Tempest finished doing whatever da hell it was she did to her freakin’ hair three or four times a week, Janessa was ass out.

  Some things never change, Tempest thought to herself. When she came out of the bathroom, feeling fresh and rejuvenated, Janessa was sprawled out on the sofa bed, and the covers were on the floor.

  When they were in junior high, they would have sleepovers and share Tempest’s twin bed. Janessa used to sleep so damn wild, Tempest nicknamed her Scissorlegs. Janessa would spread her legs wide like a pair of scissors and knock her off the bed onto the floor half the night. Tempest couldn’t count the number of times she had woken up with a backache and bruised thighs, not to mention Janessa’s toe prints all over her.

  The ability to do splits in bed probably comes in handy with the brothas, but not in my bed, Tempest thought. That’s why she bought a sofa bed in the first place; when Janessa stayed over, Tempest would still be able to walk in the morning.

  Tempest covered her up—an exercise in futility, since everything was destined to hit the floor again five minutes later—and went back in the bathroom to wrap her damp hair up in a silk scarf. She left the television on; Janessa was used to sleeping with noise. There was a crack house right across the street from her parents, with people running in and out every two minutes. Tempest’s neighbors were extremely quiet, so cable had to suffice.

  By the time Tempest set her digital alarm clock for ten and threw her I Just Can’t Stand a Broke-Ass Man tee back on, it was damn near 5 A.M. She was exhausted and couldn’t wait to call the hogs. She pulled the comforter back on her queen-size canopy bed and laughed when she spotted a note on her pillow.

  She snuggled into her warm bed, propped herself up, and read it:

  Tempest,

  I know you think this shit is funny because I always write you letters whenever I’m scared to tell you something face-to-face. Well, here goes!

  I kind of, sort of, did something tonight that will more than likely piss you off.

  You know Marquita is getting married next weekend? I thought it would be a good thing if we took some dates, so . . . Geren and Dvontè will be here to pick us up at three.

  It’s time for you to start living again. I’m worried sick about you, and I owe you everything that I am. Let me repay you.

  So make sure you get the bomb-ass outfit, preferably something low-cut that shows a lot of leg, and get that freakin’ hair straight. You have a date next week, whether you like it or not!

  Love and Kisses,

  Janessa

  P.S. Don’t even think about waking my ass up for your dumb aerobics class tomorrow! That’s a sorry substitution for fucking, and you know it!

  Tempest fell out laughing. She had every intention of waking her ass up. So she made me a date behind my back? The nerve of the huzzy! Little did Janessa know, she had made Tempest’s night. She dozed off with a grin, dreaming about Geren Kincaid. She couldn’t wait to lay her eyes on his fine ass again.

  • • •

  “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this!” Janessa exclaimed, limping into the locker room of the Sports & Health Club. She flung herself down on a wooden bench by a set of lockers and rubbed the small of her back. “I hope you’re happy. Thanks to you, I won’t be able to stand up straight for three days.”

  “Aw, squash it, Janessa,” Tempest lashed back at her. “Cardio-karate is the bomb. You need to start doing the class three times a week like I do.” She turned around, positioned her spandex-clad ass in Janessa’s face, and slapped it for her benefit. “See this tight ass? I’m telling you, this shit pays off, gurl!”

  “Hmm, quick question. What’s the point of having a slamming body if you’re holding out on your pussy like it’s a golden ticket from a Willy Wonka Chocolate Bar?” The eagle’s-eye view of Tempest’s ass was beginning to lose its appeal, so she added, “Kindly remove your buffalo butt from my face, please!”

  “Buffalo butt?” Tempest took the towel from around her neck and slapped Janessa upside the head with it. “I look damn good, and you know it.”

  “It’s all good, Tempest,” Janessa replied, giving credit where credit was due. Tempest was the bomb, and not just because she was her homie. “Just don’t ask me to come to any more of these classes, because my back can’t handle it. I’m celibate, so my joints are kind of stiff. Wait till I start getting my freak on again on a regular basis, I’ll show your buffalo-butt ass up in class. Like I always say, this is a sorry-ass substitute for fucking.”

  Tempest straddled the bench and faced her. “Aiight, time for a heart-to-heart.”

  Janessa played dumb. “About?”

  Tempest punched her on the arm. Hurt like all hell, too. “About your little note from last night, Miss Thang!”

  “Oh, that!” Janessa rolled her eyes and diverted them to the floor, waiting for her tongue-lashing. “Listen, Tempest, before you jump down my throat, I’m convinced I did the right thing. If I’d left it up to you, another good man would’ve slipped right through your fingers.”

  There was an uncomfortable silence. Janessa could feel Tempest staring a hole through her. She couldn’t take it anymore. She jumped up and leaned against the lockers, crossing her arms in front of her. “Say something, dammit!”

  Tempest glanced up at her. “What do you expect me to say, Janessa?”

  “I dunno. Sheesh! Cuss me out, call me a trifling bitch, tell me I’m on your shit list, or sumptin!”

  “Okay, I’ll say something.” Tempest stood up and got all up in her grill. Janessa felt a pimp-slap coming on. Instead Tempest kissed her gently on the cheek. “Thank you, sis!”

  “Thank you?” Janessa was lost like a whore in church. “Am I hearing things up in here?”

  “No, you’re not hearing things.” Tempest chuckled, grinning from ear to ear. “Thanks for hooking me up with Geren. I’m really looking forward to it.”

  “Say what?” Janessa sat back down on the bench before she keeled the fuck over. “You mean you’re actually happy about all of this?”

  “Very happy!” Tempest opened her locker and got out her gym bag. “Come on, let’s hit the showers so we can go shopping for that bomb-ass dress you demanded I get for the wedding.”

  “Damn, damn, damn! Do miracles never cease?”

  “Don’t look so shocked. Like you said, he is attractive, successful and unattached. Why not go for it?”

  “Exactly my point.” Janessa got up to get her bag out of her locker. “I just knew you were going to open a can of whup-ass on me. What a relief!”

  They both fell out laughing. “Normally, I would. Most of your notes do piss my ass off. This one was a far cry from the last one, though. Remember?”

  Janessa played dumb again. “Nope, sure don’t.”

  “Yeah, right, trick.” Tempest chuckled. “Last year about this time, you wrote me a note telling me that you accidentally let Everett, that dude I was interested in, ram his dick up in you.”

  Janessa turned her back to Tempest, ashamed. “That was an accident! I swear!”

  “It doesn’t matter.” Tempest giggled. “As it turned out, he was a two-minute brotha, and you e
nded up having to go through hell to get rid of his ass. That’s what you get. Better you than me!”

  It was Janessa’s turn to hit Tempest with a towel. “You’re so mean!”

  “Then there was the first note you ever wrote me. Way back in elementary school, about Steven Miller, the first boy I ever had a crush on. You kissed him on the playground, and you were afraid to tell me.”

  “You did kick my ass for real then!” Just the mention of the ass-whupping made Janessa’s butt start to ache. “You wouldn’t speak to me for weeks.”

  “You’ve always had a thing for my men.”

  “Not all of them,” Janessa objected. “Just a couple of them.”

  “Hmph, well, you keep your grubby little hands off Geren.”

  “Sheit, I would never! He’s fine and all, but I want to get jiggy with Dvontè. Besides, we’re grown women now, and I would never do anything to you like that now.” Tempest rolled her eyes and headed to the showers. Janessa called after her, “I mean it, too!”

  CHAPTER 5

  the bachelorette party

  tempest walked into the kitchen at Janessa’s grandmother’s house and attempted to turn around before she was spotted.

  “Hey there, Tempest! What’s up with you, gurl?” Janessa’s cousin Chiquita inquired.

  Tempest let the swinging door close behind her and walked farther into the old-fashioned, overcrowded kitchen. “How are you doing, Chiquita?”

  “Same ole, same ole,” Chiquita replied, turning around from the sink where she was washing greens for her sister’s wedding reception the next day so she could look Tempest up and down. “You’re looking good, Tempest, gurl.”