Zane's the Heat Seekers

by Zane

  “Nope, they went to church as usual.”

  “Nothing wrong with that. I need to start back going myself. I’ve been lax since my parents moved to Florida.”

  “How are they anyway?”

  “Just fine,” Tempest answered, wondering if there were any actual leftovers from breakfast or just the scent circulating in the air. “They love the weather. My mother always hated snow anyway. She’s originally from the Dirty South.”

  “Oh, yeah? What part?”

  “Hotlanta!”

  “Cool, I never knew that. I always thought both of your folks were from D.C.”

  “My dad was born here. My mother didn’t move up this way until the ninth grade.”

  Tempest caught Fred staring at her breasts again and decided it was time to cut the small talk. “Well, I’m about to go up and holla at Janessa. Nice seeing you, Fred.”

  He pounced and quickly threw himself between Tempest and the flight of stairs. “Hold up a second!”

  Tempest rolled her eyes. “What is it?”

  “I was just wondering when you and I are gonna hook up and slap some skins? You’ve been frontin’ on giving up that punanny for years now!”

  “You seriously need to leave that crack alone,” Tempest lashed out at him.

  “Gurl, I don’t do that shit! I’m just trying to see what’s up with you.”

  “You really want to know?”

  “Hell yeah! Let a brotha know what’s up!”

  “You really, really want to know?”

  “Yeah, gurl! Tell me sumptin, damn! Anytime, anyplace! It’s on you. This is your world. I’m just a squirrel trying to get a nut.” He smiled his goofy grin and added, “Get it? I’m trying to get a nut? Or bust a nut rather.”

  Tempest inspected Fred over for the first time in years. He was even more unappealing than when they were younger. “Aiight, we can do this!”

  “Word?”

  “Most definitely!”

  “So when is the big event?” Fred asked, licking his lips in anticipation. “I want to make sure I’m buff for your ass!”

  Tempest laughed at him. She couldn’t manage to keep a straight face for one more millisecond. “When the dinosaurs reinhabit the earth.” Fred looked like someone had just slapped him. “Now get da hell out of my way!”

  Tempest shoved Fred out of her path and took the stairs two at a time. She rapped lightly on Janessa’s bedroom door but got no answer. She tried the knob, and was surprised it budged. Ever since puberty set in, Janessa had been avid about locking her door to keep out roving eyes. Fred would always have his homies over, and all of their trifling asses would try to sneak a peek.

  Janessa was sprawled across the double bed in her usual Scissorlegs position, calling the hogs big-time. Tempest was about to rouse her by shaking her shoulder, but a lightbulb went off in her head.

  She eased herself up on the bed beside Janessa and gently squeezed her nostrils together. Janessa started making a disgusting noise that sounded like an anaconda regurgitating a boar. Tempest had to cover her mouth with her free hand to prevent herself from giggling.

  Janessa started swatting at her nose, still lost in dreamland somewhere. Tempest couldn’t keep it in any longer and burst out laughing.

  Janessa jerked her eyes open and pushed Tempest’s hand away.

  “Wake up, sleepyhead!” Tempest ordered. “We need to have another heart-to-heart.”

  Janessa slowly made it up onto her elbows, diverting her eyes to the clock radio on her nightstand. “Damn, what time is it?”

  “Time for you to be up and about.” Tempest got up off the bed and went to the window to open the mini-blinds. “You want me to go down to the kitchen and make you some coffee?”

  “Absolutely not! You know I don’t mess with that stuff,” Janessa barked, blinded by the sunlight. “If it’s not Kool-Aid or Pepsi, I don’t drink it.”

  Tempest cackled. “All that dye is going to make you psychotic one of these days.”

  “I just realized something.”

  “What?”

  “That you’re in my house,” Janessa replied. “This is the first time you’ve been in here since way back in the day.”

  “That’s your fault,” Tempest said, quickly shifting the blame. “You’re always in such a big hurry to get out of here. By the time I pull up, you’re making a mad dash for the car.”

  Janessa laughed. “You got me there.”

  “I was hoping to see your parents, but they’re still at church. I’ll be sure to stop by later this week and visit. Other than talking to your mother on the phone, we’ve lost contact.”

  The mother-on-the-phone line hit home with Janessa. “What did you and my mother talk about?”

  Tempest realized her error. The last thing she needed was Janessa discovering that her mother was calling Tempest, reporting on Janessa’s dealings with Howard the jailbird. “Nothing. I’m referring to the casual greetings we give each other when I call looking for you.”

  “Oh, I see!” Janessa wasn’t even buying into it. She could always tell when Tempest was lying. She smelled a conspiracy but decided to temporarily drop the subject. “So, to what do we owe this honor?”

  “What honor?”

  “Having Miss Tempest, Miss Thang herself, up in the crib.”

  Tempest picked up a pillow and flung it at Janessa’s head. “You’re so silly!”

  Janessa’s face lit up as she ventured a guess. “This is about Geren, right?”

  “Kind of,” Tempest reluctantly admitted. “I need your help with something.”

  “Don’t tell me you forgot how to ride a dick or something like that, because if you need lessons, I might have to charge a sistah fifty bucks an hour.”

  Tempest retrieved the pillow and banged Janessa on the head with it repeatedly. “Hellified sex isn’t a problem. I have that covered.”

  Janessa hopped up and started jumping up and down on the bed like she’d won the lotto. “I knew it! You gave it up last night! You go, gurl!”

  Tempest sat on the bed and noticed Janessa’s new television, in the corner by the closet. “You finally got a TV, huh? Now you can watch all your favorite shows without smelling Fred’s prostate.”

  They both doubled over in laughter.

  “Don’t even try to change the subject.” Janessa chuckled. “I just want to know one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Did you make him licky-licky before you let him sticky-sticky?”

  “The only thing Geren licked at my place last night were stamps. He helped me get the flyers for the community day at the center ready to mail on Monday.”

  “Hold up! You mean to tell me you had that fine-ass nucca in your apartment alone, and you two were stuffing envelopes all night?”

  “Stuffing envelopes, watching movies, and talking about life in general.”

  “What movies?”

  “The Mack and Foxy Brown. Can you believe he’d never seen either one of those?”

  “Damn, where is bro man from? Alaska?”

  Tempest giggled. “No, he grew up in the Metro area. He’s originally from Potomac.”

  “That explains it then. He’s one of those uppity, bourgeois negroes from the suburbs.”

  “Not hardly,” Tempest disagreed. “Geren is extremely down to earth. He made me feel so comfortable. I felt like I could tell him anything and everything. In fact, I practically told him my life story.”

  Janessa couldn’t help but notice the sparkle in Tempest’s eyes, a gleam that hadn’t been there in a long time. “Tempest, you really like the dude, huh?”

  “Yeah, I do.” Tempest blushed. “We’re hooking up next weekend.”

  “Good for you!” Janessa put her arm around Tempest’s shoulder and gave her a big squeeze. “I have a feeling Dvontè and I will be seeing a lot more of each other also.”

  Tempest was reluctant to ask, since she already knew the answer. “You slept with him, didn’t you?”

&nb
sp; Janessa turned her head in the other direction to hide her disgrace and let go of Tempest. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, sis. He’s just so sexy and romantic, and one thing led to another.”

  Tempest fell silent. Any comment she had to make would have been negative in nature.

  “He threw on some slow jams, I still had a buzz from the cheap champagne at the wedding reception, and he started sucking my fingers. That did my ass in! You know how I get when a man sucks my fingers and toes.”

  Tempest still refused to put her two cents in, and Janessa was tired of trying to justify her actions. “Look, I’m grown, so let’s just drop it.”

  “Fine with me,” Tempest said. “I have nothing to say about it. It’s your life, Janessa.”

  The tension in the room was thick. Janessa tried to break the ice. “If you didn’t come over here for sex tips, what do you need my help with?”

  Tempest grinned. “Well, I told Geren a little fib. He asked me to go Rollerblading with him next Saturday, and I kinda sorta told him I was an expert.”

  “How much of an expert?” Janessa asked, knowing Tempest had two left feet and could barely walk straight without tripping over something.

  “Damn near a pro!”

  They both fell back on the bed, crying laughing.

  “So, what are you going to do?”

  “Learn how to skate or fake a leg cramp or something.”

  “You and your damn leg cramps.” Janessa giggled, staring up at the ceiling and targeting the remains of a swatted fly from a few years back. “By the way, I used that line on a brotha when he tried to get some. It worked like a mofo charm.”

  Tempest laughed. “I told you it would.”

  “Damn sure did!” Janessa slapped Tempest on the thigh. “Now what the hell do I have to do with you learning how to skate?”

  “Don’t you know how?”

  “Hell, naw, I can’t skate!”

  “I thought you used to go down to the ice-skating rink on the mall in Northwest.”

  “That was to check out men; not to skate.”

  “Great! Looks like I’m busted, then. I’ll figure out some way to get out of it. Maybe I’ll say I have the flu and ask him to come over and bring me some chicken soup.”

  “The flu? In the summertime? Chile, please!”

  “Good point,” Tempest agreed. “I wonder if he would really bring me some, though. He seems like the type.” Tempest got up off the bed. “I’m going to go get the yellow pages. Maybe I can take some skating lessons at Wheaton Regional Park or something like that.”

  “Sounds like a winner.”

  Tempest yanked the bedroom door open, and Fred tumbled in onto the floor. She glared down at him. “It’s a damn shame you’re still lurking around here eavesdropping. Get a life, why don’t you!”

  “Uh, uh, I was ju-ju-just coming up here to put the antennae on Janessa’s new TV,” he stuttered, lying his ass off. He looked at Janessa. “You asked me to do it. Remember?”

  “That was three days ago,” Janessa hissed. “Like Tempest said, you’re just a nosy mofo. Now get out!”

  Tempest started down the hallway so she could go downstairs to get the book.

  “Tempest, hold up,” Fred said, coming after her.

  “What is it?” Tempest asked, obviously irritated. “I already told you we could get busy the first time you spot a T-Rex walking down Pennsylvania Avenue.”

  “No, that’s not it. I was just playing with you about the sex, gurl.” Fred chuckled, trying to save face.

  “What is it then?”

  “I know how to skate. I could teach you.”

  “You know how to Rollerblade?”

  “Real good, too,” Fred boasted. “My boys and I go blading all the time in Rock Creek Park over by the Carter Baron.”

  Tempest stood at the top of the stairs, contemplating her next move. Beggars can’t be choosers, she thought to herself. “Okay, Fred, desperate times call for desperate measures. I refuse to let Geren find out I can’t skate, so put on your teacher’s hat. It’s going to be a long day!”

  • • •

  Dvontè strolled into one of the racquetball courts in Gold’s Gym in Wheaton, Maryland, at four-thirty that afternoon. Geren was hitting a ball up against the wall, working up a sweat.

  Dvontè threw his gym bag down on the bench. He took off his Wilson Athletic jogging pants and Champion sweatshirt, stripping down to shorts and a tee like Geren.

  Geren hit the ball one last time, then walked over to the bench to join Dvontè, pulling his goggles up to the top of his head and glancing down at his watch. “You’re late, man! We only have the court reserved for another thirty minutes.”

  “Relax, it’s all good,” Dvontè replied indignantly. “There’s no one waiting for a court, so we can play for an hour as usual.”

  “That’s cool!”

  “I started not to even show. But I figured your ass would be here, and I didn’t want to leave you hanging.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be here, Dvontè?” Geren asked. “We play racquetball every Sunday afternoon.”

  “Unless it’s football season.”

  “True that!” They gave each other a high five. “Nothing comes before football!”

  “Well, I’m not going to say all that. I can name one thing that does.”

  “What?” Geren inquired. He knew Dvontè was a serious football fan.

  “Pussy, of course!”

  Geren picked up his towel and slapped Dvontè on the arm before using it to wipe his brow. “I should’ve known. You have a one-track mind.”

  “Speaking of which,” Dvontè said, bending over and warming up with some stretches. “I know you didn’t get any last night.”

  Geren chuckled. “You’re unbelievable. Who said I was trying to get any last night?”

  Dvontè grinned, realizing he had hit the nail on the head. “Like I said, I know you didn’t. Anyone can look at Tempest and tell she is one of those holdouts.”

  Geren threw his right leg up on the bench to do some calf stretches. “It was just our first date, Dvontè. Sheesh! Not all sistahs give it up on the first date.”

  “Hmph, all the women I deal with do, or there won’t be a second one,” Dvontè proclaimed.

  Geren hated to let his male ego get the best of him, but he needed to size up the competition. “So, I take it you and Janessa got busy last night?”

  Dvontè glared at him like he had the Bubonic Plague. “Surely you jest! Of course we got busy. That was predetermined.”

  “Predetermined?”

  “Yeah, I told her the other night on the phone I expected some ass after the wedding.”

  “And she agreed?”

  “We got freaky all night long.” Dvontè reached into his bag for his goggles. “That gurl is something else in the sack. I figured she would be down, but she let me do whatever the hell I wanted.”

  “Good for you!” Geren couldn’t believe that some sistahs still set themselves up like that. He only hoped that nothing Dvontè did to Janessa ended up casting a negative light on him with Tempest.

  “It was even better for her,” Dvontè continued, embellishing what actually happened. “I worked her body over big-time. She’s probably sitting by the phone willing me to make a midday booty call.”

  “Are you going to call her again?” Geren asked, part of him wishing the answer would be no.

  “All in good time,” Dvontè answered. “I have other bitches riding this dick, too. I have to spread the loving around.”

  Something about the B-word always set Geren off. “Dvontè, what did I tell you about calling sistahs out of their name? A bitch is a female dog.”

  “Exactly!” Dvontè exclaimed, satisfied with the definition. “Women always talk about men being dogs, but they’re no better. They all have their own agenda, just like we do.”

  “Maybe all they want is a real relationship.”

  “Man, you’re living on Fantasy Island.” Dvontè rolled his
eyes. “What type of real relationship starts out with a woman sucking a damn dick on the first date? If she’ll blow me, she’ll blow any man who comes along.”

  “That’s not even true!” Geren couldn’t believe Dvontè and his immature mentality. “See, it’s brothas like you that give good men like me a bad name.”

  “You may be a good man, but you’re also a pussyless man. That’s why you’re trying to work off some of that sexual tension on the court. You’re here because you couldn’t get any sexin’ last night.”

  Geren was on the brink of getting irate. “I really like Tempest! I enjoy her company, and I’ve already made plans to see her again next weekend.”

  “Whoopty-do! Maybe she’ll even let you cop a feel or two, if you’re lucky.”

  “I’m not concerned about that. Tempest and I will be together when the time is right for both of us, and not a second before. Sure, I wanted to be with her last night intimately, but she’s been hurt by too many brothas. I’m determined to show her what real men act like.”

  Dvontè pulled the goggles down over his eyes, trying to mask the anger in them. “So you’re saying I’m not a real man?”

  Geren adjusted his own goggles. “If the shoe fits.”

  Dvontè took his racquet out of the casing. “Just because I don’t believe in kissing a woman’s feet and shit doesn’t make me any less of a man than you.”

  “Maybe not, but the fact I can whup your ass on this racquetball court does.” Geren smirked, as he issued the challenge.

  “We’ll just see about that!”

  CHAPTER 9

  rollerblading hell

  geren picked Tempest up at noon, and it took every ounce of self-control he had not to fall out laughing when she opened up the door. She looked more like she was going to battle than Rollerblading. She was wearing a silver bike helmet with arm, elbow, shoulder and knee pads. The black spandex crop top and bike shorts looked mighty appealing to him though. He got an instant rise in his shorts.

  “You sure you have enough protection on?” he asked her jokingly, after they were settled in his car and headed out.

  She eyed him up and down before putting on her black Oakleys. “I don’t know. I might need something else to protect me from you.”