by Radclyffe
“Do you do much sailing, Ms. Pierce?” he asked as he rang up the sale.
“I have. Not this summer, though.”
“Well, there are some nice little boats here you can rent if you ever get the urge.”
“Thank you. I’ll remember that,” Adrienne replied as she accepted her change.
She drove home along the beach road remembering the feel of the sails in her hands. Why not? You're strong enough now.
Some small part of her soul, long dormant, flickered to life.
* * *
It wasn’t difficult to find Whitley Manor. It occupied the entire north end of the island, and the main road stopped at its massive iron front gate. Adrienne followed a line of cars up the curving drive and parked her modest rental car beside a row of Mercedes, Jaguars, and BMW’s. She caught her breath when she saw the house.
It was hidden from the beach by a copse of trees, and though she had glimpsed it from the shore, she had never realized how impressive it was. Three stories and one of the few stone edifices on the island, it had been carefully designed not to detract from the landscape surrounding it. Sunken pools accented by recessed lights bordered a meandering flagstone walkway threading through gardens to the wide front staircase. A spacious porch led from the main level around the side of the house, with a second open deck one floor above.
Adrienne could see that the veranda was already crowded with guests. She handed her keys to the handsome young man who was parking cars and took a deep breath. She was here now; she might as well go up. She steadied her nerves and began to climb the stairs. She wasn’t looking forward to greeting a mass of strangers, especially alone. She had chosen a pale blue silk suit, comfortable, yet elegant in its simplicity. As she glanced over to the portico to the right of the drive, she saw a silver Jag with a familiar license plate parked halfway up on the lawn.
Well, at least THW made it here in one piece!
Anger surged quickly. She was still disconcerted over her near collision earlier in the day, and she didn't need any further reminders of life's fragility. She struggled to put it from her mind, and joined the flow of people heading to the rear reception area. A passing waiter offered her a glass of champagne, which she gratefully accepted.
The patio in the rear of the house overlooked a multilevel garden, impeccably groomed. Adrienne leaned against a pillar, attempting to get her bearings. She watched the people around her with interest. The men, for the most part, were dressed in slacks and jackets, the women in light evening dresses. Somewhere off to the side she could hear a band playing. A gentle hand on her arm interrupted her quiet surveillance.
“Ms. Pierce?”
Adrienne turned to find an aristocratic woman in her mid-forties standing by her side. She was dressed in an exquisite pearl-gray dress, set off by a simple emerald necklace. Adrienne stared at her for a moment, uncertain.
The woman smiled at her. “I’m Constance Whitley. I’m so glad you could come.” Her voice was soft, like her eyes, and Adrienne found herself holding her breath, half expecting this gentle apparition to disappear. Suddenly, she became aware of the slightly puzzled look on her hostess’ face, and she put out her hand in greeting.
“Thank you for inviting me. Forgive me for staring,” Adrienne continued. “It seemed for a moment that I had met you before.”
Constance laughed quietly, her eyes suddenly lively. “Well, perhaps it’s my rather ordinary face.”
Adrienne blushed, feeling foolish. “It is hardly ordinary, Mrs. Whitley.”
“Please call me 'Constance',” she said as she hooked her arm through Adrienne’s. “Come, let me introduce you to a few of your neighbors.”
Adrienne allowed herself to be taken in tow by this charming woman, nodding hello as she was introduced to one smiling face after another.
The men and women all seemed strangely of a type—sleek, well groomed and displaying the easy confidence that their wealth and position afforded them. They all seemed to know their place in the world, and it was obvious that it suited them.
Adrienne was sure she wouldn’t remember a single name. They were making their way through the crowd when a familiar voice boomed out. “Commander Pierce! Is that you?”
Adrienne jumped and then blushed as she saw heads turn in her direction. She recognized the large man in full dress uniform immediately. She couldn’t help but smile, despite her acute embarrassment. “Admiral Evans—how nice to see you, sir. And it isn’t `Commander’ anymore. I’ve retired.”
“Nonsense, Commander! A long leave, I understand. You’ll soon grow tired of civilian life and get back where you belong.” He took charge of her at once as Constance slipped away to see to her other guests. They walked over to the rail, out of the way of the throng of people milling about.
“How are you, Adrienne?” he asked kindly.
“I’m fine, sir, really. The sea air has always agreed with me.”
“Hmph,” he muttered. “Of course I know that. I remember when you were just a young ensign. Damn shame you're thinking of giving it all up. These things can be handled, you know.”
Adrienne looked away uncomfortably. “Please, Admiral. Not tonight.”
He looked chagrined and hastily changed the subject. “Quite right, quite right. How are you finding Whitley Point?”
“It’s charming,” Adrienne replied honestly. “Do you have a house here?” She realized she was quite happy to see a familiar face.
“Oh, no. I’ve known Constance Hughes—well, Whitley now, of course—since she was a child. I visit here often. She’s a wonderful woman.”
“She certainly seems to be,” Adrienne agreed.
“It’s a wonder, really, being widowed so young—with a daughter to raise, as well as the entire Whitley fortune to manage. She’s done remarkably well.”
“I can see that,” Adrienne commented noncommittally. She was truly fond of her ex-commanding officer, but she wasn’t in the mood for light gossip at the moment. She suddenly felt very tired.
“Would you excuse me, sir? I’d like to wander around for a bit.”
“Of course, Commander. I’ll look for you later.”
Adrienne retreated quickly down into the garden and found a seat on a secluded bench, separated from the stone walkway by a hedgerow. She sipped her champagne and tried to collect her thoughts. Seeing Admiral Evans had reminded her all too clearly of how far she had strayed from her previous way of life. She felt unnerved. Truly at sea, she thought bitterly.
“A bit much, isn’t it? The party,” a cool voice said at her elbow.
Adrienne turned to find Tanner, resplendent in a nearly sheer white blouse and silk tuxedo trousers, standing casually beside her. Tanner's athletic figure was well displayed in the finely tailored clothing. Adrienne stared at her, taken aback.
“So, it’s `Commander’ is it?” Tanner continued smoothly, taking a seat beside Adrienne on the stone bench.
Adrienne found her voice and responded dryly, “Were you eavesdropping?”
“Guilty, ma’am.” Tanner grinned disarmingly. She tossed a fairly good salute to emphasize her words.
Adrienne laughed despite herself. “Oh stop! And no, it is not `Commander’—I’ve retired.”
“Really?” Tanner continued flirtatiously. “I would think you have many good years of service left.”
Adrienne paled slightly and turned away, searching in her handbag for a cigarette. She was annoyed to find that her hands were trembling.
Tanner touched her arm quickly, instantly concerned. “I’m sorry! I always seem to say something stupid when I’m around you.” She reached quickly to light Adrienne’s cigarette. Adrienne exhaled the smoke slowly and smiled, her eyes on Tanner’s worried face.
“It’s all right,” Adrienne said quietly, “It’s just a very long story, and not one I'm fond of telling.”
Tanner held up a hand and shook her head, “I understand. It’s none of my business, really. There are things I'd rather not talk a
bout, too. But I am very glad to see you again.” She lit a cigarette of her own, and they sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. They seemed strangely alone, isolated by the dense shrubbery, despite the people passing by just yards away from them.
“Better?” Tanner inquired finally.
Adrienne smiled, stubbing out the cigarette she discovered she didn't really want. “Yes, I’m sorry. I seem to have lost my sense of humor somewhere this past year.”
Tanner gazed intently up at the crowd on the veranda above them. “Perhaps you’ll regain it here on our peaceful island,” she said darkly.
It was Adrienne’s turn to stare, taken aback by the bitter tone in Tanner’s voice and the obvious pain on her face. “Don’t you find it peaceful here?” she asked gently.
Tanner laughed without humor. She lifted the champagne bottle resting by her side and filled Adrienne's glass. “Hardly, but then that’s my story, isn’t it?” she responded abruptly.
Adrienne thought perhaps she should have felt rebuked by the curt reply, but she didn’t. She knew how important her privacy had become to her, and she could more easily accept it in others. Besides, she hadn’t the energy to probe another’s anguish, nor the strength to offer solace.
“Let’s just say we both have our stories, and let it go at that,” Adrienne said quietly. “Do you live near here? I never asked.”
Tanner nodded. “I’m a native. Can’t seem to escape. I’ve tried New York, and Boston, but I always seem to return to the Point. I never feel really whole unless I’m near the sea.”
Adrienne nodded. “I know what you mean. I love it, too.”
“So you chose the Navy?” Tanner asked.
“Yes. Eighteen years. I don’t know if it was the uniform or the sea which attracted me the most at first,” Adrienne laughed. “After a while, it was definitely the sea.”
“I’ll bet you look absolutely smashing in a uniform,” Tanner said with a grin.
Adrienne looked uncomfortable. “You watch too many movies.”
“Nope. I read too many books.”
Adrienne laughed. “Oh, all right, you win. I did like the uniform.”
They both laughed, and watched in silence as the sky darkened, a spectacular sunset giving way to the soft glow of the moon and stars. The beauty was nearly painful, and Adrienne was acutely aware of the woman beside her. She glanced at the chiseled profile, wondering if Tanner felt it too. Don't, she chided herself, don't even wonder.
“Hungry?” Tanner inquired finally.
“Famished,” Adrienne replied, realizing it was true. “I take it there’s food nearby?”
“Scads. Come on—I’ll lead the way.”
They were helping themselves to the ample buffet when Constance Whitley approached them with an engaging smile.
“I see that you’ve met my daughter, Ms. Pierce,” she said when she reached them.
Adrienne looked quickly from Tanner to Constance, momentarily taken aback. “Of course! Now I know why I thought I recognized you earlier! The resemblance is striking!”
Constance smiled fondly at Tanner, reaching out to stroke her cheek gently. “You compliment me, Ms. Pierce.” She nodded graciously as she moved away, leaving them in an uncomfortable silence.
Tanner stood quietly, waiting for Adrienne to react. She was used to the response her status evoked, especially from women. Inevitably they either became exceedingly cold or insufferably solicitous. She was totally unprepared for Adrienne’s response.
“It was you!” Adrienne exploded angrily. “THW—that’s `Tanner Hughes Whitley’ isn’t it?”
“Yes, but—” Tanner began, clearly confused. Now what have I done?
“You damn idiot! You nearly killed me today! Haven’t you ever heard of speed limits?”
Tanner stared at her, dumbfounded. “What are you talking about?”
“On the shore highway this afternoon! You nearly ran me off the road,” Adrienne continued, struggling to contain her temper.
Tanner searched her memory and drew a blank. “I’m sorry. Today? I don’t remember. I was—uhm, a little—out of touch this afternoon,” she said with embarrassment, remembering the afternoon's high she had shared with some friends.
“Well, perhaps the next time you’re drunk, or stoned, or whatever it is that you do, you’ll do the rest of the world a favor and stay off the roads!” Adrienne exclaimed. She turned abruptly and stormed away. She didn’t exactly know what incensed her more — the fact that Tanner had nearly killed her, or the fact that Tanner might have killed herself.
Tanner was left staring after her. “Damn!” she cursed vehemently. She couldn’t seem to do anything right when it came to that woman. She went off to find another glass of champagne, still smarting from Adrienne’s attack.
CHAPTER FOUR
IT WAS LATE when Adrienne finally returned home. Admiral Evans had monopolized her attentions for most of the evening, insisting that she meet half the population of Whitley Point. She had attempted to make polite conversation with people she had no intention of ever seeing again, while her anger burned dangerously close to the surface.
Tanner had tried to approach her several times, a conciliatory look on her handsome face, but Adrienne managed to avoid her. The last thing she needed was another confrontation with someone who seemed to incite her own worst traits. Pointless anger would do neither of them any good. She had enough conflict in her life already. The last time she saw her, Tanner was being led away by an attractive blond in a low-cut evening gown.
Adrienne stripped off her clothes irritably, uncharacteristically tossing them aside. So what if she made a spectacle of herself, letting that woman hang all over her. She'd had enough champagne –she probably needed the help! Oh! What do you care! Tanner is obviously capable of taking care of her own needs.
Adrienne wasn’t at all sure why Tanner had this disquieting effect on her. She hardly knew the woman! Still, there was something about the look in Tanner’s eyes, something that verged on despair – or a deep anguish, that echoed Adrienne's own pain. She felt it, and she wanted to reach out to her.
Don't be ridiculous. You can barely look after yourself! She's probably just bored!
Tanner did seem adrift, probably as a result of never wanting for the things ordinary people struggled a lifetime to attain. Tanner had money, and privilege, but it didn't seem to have brought her happiness. Adrienne’s frustration, on the other hand, was far more dangerous. She didn't trust herself. She didn't trust her future. Without a clear idea of where her life was leading, she seemed in fact to have nowhere to go. It was a paralyzing circle of questions without answers.
Let it go. You can't help her. You have no right even thinking of it.
She collected her scattered garments, and hung them carefully in the closet. She pulled on a faded pair of fatigue pants and a shirt that still showed the faint marks of her insignia on the collar. Wide-awake, she wandered out onto the deck.
Overhead the sky was velvet black, punctuated by bright points of starlight. Adrienne leaned back in the chaise with a sigh, stretching her long legs out in front of her. She was agitated and restless. The sounds of the distant surf failed to have their usual calming effect. Her thoughts kept returning to issues she wasn't prepared to face. Months ago she had given up trying to figure out why her life had taken such an unexpected turn, culminating in her arrival at Whitley Point. She was here, far from the settled, predictable world she had grown used to. If there were some logic to it, some hidden reason to the events that had completely changed her life, she couldn’t identify it. She didn’t want to try. All she wanted was to learn to deal with what had befallen her. She thought she was succeeding, until she met Tanner. Now her hard won peace of mind was threatened by the reflection of her own loss mirrored in Tanner’s dark eyes. She rubbed her aching shoulder and pushed herself up.
If I can't sleep, I might as well walk. Anything to stop these endless questions.
Adrienne climbed down
the stairs toward the beach. As she walked, night sounds surrounded her – the wind bending blades of grass, the waves, rushing to destruction in the shoals, the small living creatures fleeing her approach. She continued to think of Tanner. It was incomprehensible to Adrienne how someone with so much to live for could be so heedless of her own well-being. Especially recently, Adrienne had come to know the value, and the vagary, of life. It seemed to her now, reflecting on her own situation, that life was dangerously unpredictable, ready to spin away, out of one’s grasp, at any moment. She knew she would give anything to feel in control of her own fate again. Tanner's face flickered into her mind, something bitter and hard glinting in her beautiful eyes. It seemed to her that Tanner was squandering her most precious possession—herself.
Surely, if there is sin, it must be that—to throw life away as if it were nothing.
She hadn't meant to, but she thought back to her own beginnings. She had not come from a privileged background. Her parents were simple people who believed that if you worked hard enough you would eventually succeed. Adrienne had grown up believing that. Until a year ago, nothing in her life had proved that philosophy wrong. She had studied endless hours, being bright, but not gifted. She had proved herself in a male world, in a male field, by being the best -- by working the hardest. She had been convinced that dedication and fortitude would finally be rewarded. Everything in her life had confirmed that. She had succeeded; she had everything she had ever wanted. Then suddenly, without warning, it had all dissolved.
Now she was lost, uncertain of her next move—unsure of what the next day might bring. She questioned what remained for her now and struggled to accept a life without dreams, without passion. There had been a time, not too long ago, when the most important goal in her life had been to live through another day. Now she awoke to a sunrise that dawned on an empty day, and felt only pointlessness.
She shook her head angrily. Stop it! You should be used to times like this by now. You know damn well there are no reasons, no explanations, no answers. Stop asking!