VIBGYOR

by Keerthana Jayaraj

  “Leave Shiva and Jacob alone…” I cried. “Please…Shakti wouldn’t want that…She “Leave Shiva and Jacob alone…” I cried. “Please…Shakti wouldn’t want that…She wouldn’t want her mother hurt.”

  “I am doing exactly what Shakti wanted, my dear.” The Red giggled. “She wanted the people who killed her to die. Wanted them to know the fear and pain she felt…” “The only people you are hurting now are Shiva and Jacob…Why? They have already gone through so much…” “Do you think I want to hurt them? Don’t blame me, Shakti…You are the one who empathized with Shivani so much that you adopted her daughter’s name. It’s your responsibility to stop her from getting hurt…But you are too much of a bloody coward to do what should be done.”

  “I don’t want to commit murder…” The Red giggled first then…she simply threw back her head and laughed. “I knew you’d say that…my dear soft-hearted, credulous, foolish Violet…What if by refusing to commit a few necessary murders, you utterly ruin the life of the girl who you swore to protect?” She let the question linger in the air for a while. “You may already know this but…I have set certain events in motion which you cannot avert unless you kill those pests! If you prefer to simply stand aside and let the events unfold…Believe me, Shakti…you’ll regret it.” She paused. Her tiny eyes narrowed. “You’ll regret it for eternity.”

  I heard Goldy gasp. She cast a terrified glance in my direction.

  “Yes…you naive idiot. You should worry about your friend. You don’t want her doomed to a miserable lonely existence, do you?”

  “Shakti…” I felt her tug on my hand like a frightened kid. “We can’t let anything awful happen.”

  “So…you want to fight fate itself?” The Red laughed. “I can’t wait to see you try. I’d very much like to see you try.” And she was gone. Goldy still clung at my hand, babbling all kinds of things. Fight fate itself…The words sent a shiver down by back. Was that what I was trying to do? Could fate be so cruel as to play again nd again with Shiva and Jacob’s lives?

  A few minutes passed before we remembered that we had a conversation to eavesdrop. Lucky for us, the conversation was just getting started. Dan was sitting on the bed in his room, fidgeting around, his eyes firmly on the floor. If I didn’t know better, I would have taken him for a lover trying to confess his affection. Shiva stood in the middle of the room, perplexed, occasionally tapping the floor with her feet. Her eyes never left Dan.

  “I don’t know if I should be telling you this…It’s Jacob I should be talking to…” “Then you should tell him. You’ve known him longer than I have.”

  Dan stood up from the bed and sat down again. “I…I can’t…I…”

  Shivani bit her lip. “There’s something you can’t tell Jacob but can tell me?” She asked him incredulously.

  “I would rather not tell anyone…but…” He paused. “Your Dad knows, I think. And he…he would…he could tell Jacob…” “You should tell him.”

  “You want me to tell him?”

  “I…I know I’m being a coward Shiva but…I can’t…I can’t face him and say that I’ve been lying to him.”

  “Dan…” “Jacob and I met at the hospital after the accident. That, you know. What you don’t know is that I went to see him with the intention of hurting him…You know why? The family who died in that car accident - It was my Dad, my Mom and my little sister.”

  Shiva’s eyes widened but she didn’t speak. “The reason I wasn’t in that car…I was a chess fanatic. My grandmother taught me to play when I was little and I loved the game ever since. I was the member of the neighbourhood chess club. I won every tournament I played until…” His voice was choked by tears. “My Dad, who wanted me to step in and take in the family business one day, said I should quit fooling around playing a silly game. He had very different ideas about the things I should study…We fought bitterly. And I…I resented him so much that I left my house. The way I lived the next few years of my life wasn’t decent. When Jacob’s Aunt said I looked like a thug, she didn’t know how true it was.”

  He looked up at Shiva, maybe expecting to see contempt on her face but all he saw was pity mingled with shock. “Funny, isn’t it? I left my house because my Dad stopped me from doing the things I liked but…I went so wrong that I didn’t do those things either.” He laughed bitterly. “When I realized that I no longer had a family to fight with… Imagine knowing that from a newspaper. I regretted everything I did. I…I wished I had been with them when they died…”

  “Dan…” Shiva sat down beside him and put her hand on his shoulder. “You made a silly mistake…No one will hate you for that.”

  “When I learned that it was the great singer Jacob Lewis who…I went to see him at the hospital. I didn’t exactly know what exactly I was going to do to but…I intended the hospital. I didn’t exactly know what exactly I was going to do to but…I intendedVIBGYOR to hurt him. He was alive and my family was not.” He sighed. “But…when I saw him…Both his physical health and mental health were down the drain. He was refusing to eat and take medicines. He had to be constantly put on sedatives because…Once, he ripped off the IV drip from his hand and hit his head constantly with his hands…I watched him for 5 days. The curious thing was…My anger died completely by the time I went to talk to him. I mean…How can you be angry at a man who was punishing himself worse that anybody else could?”

  Shiva nodded. “I couldn’t bring myself to tell him who I am. So I lied and said that an acquaintance of my was in the hospital and…I just heard that Jacob Lewis was admitted there and…”

  “Jacob will understand, Dan…You know him better than I do.” “We became friends quite easily. I guess he was glad to have someone to talk to. His relatives had already started leaving his side. Poor man…He was suffering too much. And then that girl leaves him…He was getting better, you know, before that but…He was in such a horrible state. It took days and days before he spoke again. I stayed with him. I…I have been with him ever since. It might seem odd to you Shiva that I did so much for a man who killed my family but…No one with a heart would have abandoned him.”

  “I understand…” “I wanted to tell him, I really did but…I kept putting it off. The longer I put it off the harder it became to actually say it. Tell him I’m sorry, won’t you? I’ll go out now and stay away for a while.”

  CHAPTER 32

  After Dan left hurriedly Shiva approached Jacob. For a while, she stood there beside him, not alerting him to her presence.

  “Shiva…” He called, after nearly five minutes. “How much longer are you simply going to stand there?”

  Shiva told him quickly that Dan wanted to tell him something. “He…He told me…” Jacob sighed. “Poor Dan…You know, Shiva, your Dad shouldn’t have threatened him like that.”

  “My Dad doesn’t care what other people feel…wait…threaten?” Shiva sat down next to him, looking rather bemused. “How…” “I already know, Shiva.” I gasped at him calm words. Beside me, Goldy gasped in chorus. “A few days after we came back from the hospital…Dan got a call early in the morning. He thought I was asleep…” Jacob went a little red. “I confess I was a bit too curious about this strange new friend of mine. Once, my mind became close to normal, I began to wonder…”

  Shiva still looked a bit stunned but she found her voice. “Yet, you kept him with you?” When Jacob raised an eyebrow at this, she added hastily. “I’m not saying it was a mistake. Dan is a wonderful person with a truly big heart but…you didn’t know it then. So why?”

  “I was desperate, Shiva.” Jacob said slowly. “I wanted a friendly voice. I wanted kindness. I convinced myself that even if Dan cut my throat in revenge later…At least my last days would be peaceful. I was such a pampered, selfish being that I couldn’t take one second of loneliness. Pathetic, isn’t it? ”

  “It’s not Jacob. It truly isn’t. No one likes being lonely. No one…” “All my relatives left once they knew that…I…I was going to be an invalid
for the rest of my life. No more generous gifts on weddings or birthdays. No more lavish parties. No more celebrity relative to show off…Do I blame them? No…I wasn’t much of a human being in those days. I was a horrible drunkard, puffed up with arrogance. I was just good at being a prop, flashing smiles and signing autographs.”

  Shiva stated to say something but Jacob interrupted her. “Dan…I could tell, somehow, that his sympathy was not just on the surface. He came to talk to me everyday, not because I was Jacob Lewis the singing sensation, but because he was sorry for my plight. He truly cared for me. That was why I didn’t confront him about his identity. Even though there was a chance that he was seeking revenge…I wanted him to be with me. Your Dad’s right, Shiva. It was a horrible selfish act. I took him to be with me. Your Dad’s right, Shiva. It was a horrible selfish act. I took

  everything from Dan. I killed his family. What right did I have to chain him to me? He has a big heart, true. But that doesn’t mean I was right to take advantage of it. ” Shiva was thoughtful for a minute. “You are an idiot, Jacob.” She said. “Dan…He doesn’t regret staying with you. Not for a single minute. Just because my Dad…” “I’m not saying he regrets staying with me. No…It was horribly wrong of me to take advantage of his loyalty and good nature. I was selfish then, Shiva…I still am.” “Rubbish! You’ll hurt Dan terribly if you say such things to him. His good heart followed you of it’s own accord. Neither my Dad nor anybody else in the world should judge that. And…I’ve said this to you before…It’s alright to be a little selfish Jacob. It’s just…” Shiva paused and bit her lip. “It’s just human. When we forget ourself too much…When we don’t think of ourself once in a while, we ruin our happiness.”

  “My selfishness took many lives…It was indeed bad.” Shiva put a her hand on his. “It is something in your past, Jacob. No matter how much you tear yourself apart over it, it can’t be rewritten. You understood your mistake. You changed for the better. That is the best you can do. You have to accept that.”

  Jacob didn’t speak. Tears trickled down his eyes. Some fell on Shiva’s hand. “Don’t let the past haunt your present and future.” Shiva said, gently.

  “Would you tell Dan that he has nothing to be apologize for?” He pushed her hand away, but not too roughly. “I lied as much as he did.” “When he comes back, you should tell him that.”

  “That…”

  Shiva pressed a finger to his lips. “Not one more foolish word out of your mouth. You are going to admit the truth to Dan. But not one word more. No asking to him leave because you think you’ll drag him down with you.”

  “Shiva…” Shiva pressed her finger harder on his lips to interrupt him. “My dear philosopher…If you sacrifice Dan’s company like that, it’ll be the most selfish and hurtful thing you do. Because you are only thinking about you - your feelings of guilt. Not for one second are you thinking about what Dan wants.”

  “He…” “Now, before you start speaking about it…I am not going either. Being with you does not mean giving up my dreams.”

  Jacob turned his face away from her. “One day you will get tired of me, Shiva. You will realize I’m miserable pathetic cripple.”

  Shiva laughed softly. “Such a day would never come, Jacob. And even if it does… Remember the reason you kept Dan with you? We can make each other happy during the time we have together. I am pathetic and desperate too, Jacob. I want to be with you. For every reason you make up for us not to be together…I search for a thousand reasons why we must be together.” She paused, leaned towards him and kissed him full on the lips. “I love you.”

  “I want to see you smile…” Jacob said softly. “Always…”

  “I smile when I’m with you.” Shiva told him. Then she laughed. “If you spend even a single day at my home, you will know why that is.” Although Shiva advised him to do so, Jacob did not talk to Dan about their past. Neither did Dan bring it up. He came back, watched Jacob nervously for a while, and started talking about random matters. After hesitating for a little while, Jacob joined him in conversation. Everything, suddenly had a cheerful, pleasant shade. I didn’t like it. I liked it even less when Jacob asked Shiva to stay with him till evening.

  “I just want you to be here for a while.” His voice was completely normal but I sense the desperation in his voice. “After everything that happened today…I’d like that.” From the look on Dan’s face he felt the same thing I did. He asked Jacob directly if he felt ok. When Jacob told him everything was well and good, he called out his friend on the lie.

  “Jacob, you can deceive the whole world but not me. I have seen you hide your hurt behind smiles more than a dozen times. It has always worried me. But this time you’re scaring me because you are not even bothering to fake a smile.”

  “Dan…”

  “I am your friend and I intend to always be your friend. No bullshit ideas of nobility please.”

  For a few minutes, Jacob sat silent. “I am lucky…” His voice was choked by tears when he finally spoke. “I have two people who love me enough to never leave my side.” Dan began to say something but Jacob cut him short. “After all the things I did…After all the things I should have done but didn’t do…It’s something I don’t deserve.” Both Shiva and Dan put their arm around him shoulders, insisting, what they did all along - That he deserved every bit of their trust and loyalty. Jacob ruefully wiped the tears from his eyes. “Now that we’ve had the whole tearful self-realization scene, it’s time for a more lighthearted thing, don’t you think?” Shiva and Dan looked baffled. “Play chess with me Dan…” He smiled. “And Shiva too…I’d hate to lose alone.”

  “You want to play chess, now?” Dan asked incredulously. He frowned. “Jacob…”

  “Whenever I asked you for something, you always ran to get it for me. Why the hesitation now, Dan?”

  “Because I know you, Jacob…I may not be able to say what’s going on in your head…But I know you enough you enough to see that somethings horribly wrong.” “I just want to get my mind off today’s events. That’s all it is…” Jacob said. Dan looked intently at his friend and then glanced at Shiva. She had not said anything but her eyes were worried. She met his gaze and nodded. The tension hung in the air, barely masked by the forced cheerfulness. Dan emerged the winner, both games. Jacob fought back admirably, his brain and mind’s eye as sharp as ever. But Shiva…she was way off her game, falling for all of Dan’s traps and losing under twenty minutes. Jacob teased her about that - commenting how he thought her brain had gone on vacation. She laughed with him but her cheerfulness didn’t reach her eyes.

  “Why don’t you two play?” Dan said. Jacob agreed at once but Shiva shook her head. “Scared of losing, again?”

  “I’ve lost countless chess games.” Shiva commented matter-of-factly. It was clear that her mind and thoughts were someplace else. Before she left, she held his hand and promised him that she would come to visit him the next day.

  “You too must promise me something, Jacob.” She said.

  “Shiva…”

  “Promise you’d…” She paused for a minute, weighing her words. “Promise me you’d greet me with a smile, sitting there near the window. Promise me you’d say how happy you are to see me.”

  “What kind of ridiculous promise is that?”

  “Just promise me…”

  “I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy. To make your beautiful smile stay forever on your face…” He took her hand and kissed it tenderly. “I love you, Shivani.”

  “That’s not the promise I want.”

  “What?” Jacob laughed. “You want me to repeat the exact words and say promise like little kids do? Shiva…” “Just do it Jacob…please…”

  “I will be here tomorrow. I promise.”

  Shiva’s face relaxed. She exchanged polite goodbyes with both Jacob and Dan. As Dan walked with her to the Door, she whispered. “Don’t let him out of your sight.” Dan looked puzzled for a second, but then I saw the comp
rehension dawn in his eyes. Shiva nodded grimly, shook his hand and left.

  “WE HAVE TO STOP THIS!” Goldy exploded. “We can’t…We can’t…let this happen.” “It will happen. There’s nothing you can do about it.” I nearly burst with anger on hearing that child like voice. The Red was leaning against the wall, watching Jacob and Dan with a tiny little smile on it’s face. “Shakti and Goldy…” It said sweetly. “Now that you’ve seen the ticking time bomb, maybe you’ll be extra motivated to do what I want you to do.”

  “You…” I was ready to slap her but…what use would it do? “You are using an innocent man as leverage. That’s…”

  “I thought I’m the kid over here.” The Red laughed. “You are not a dumb Yellow. You should know that I don’t play fair.”

  “You…How…” “Why do you think I wanted you to take revenge? Did you really think I am unable to kill them because my abilities aren’t the same as yours? I’m a Red, idiot. I can kill them easily but the problem is…my way would be slow and cruel. It’s true I can make them suffer more but the problem is…The innocent would also suffer. For example, Shiva, her lover, and their friend. I do not want that. I really don’t.”

  “Then leave them alone!” “I thought of the ‘friend kill friend’ scenario. I even tried to work on his mind.” I was too horrified on hearing that to let words leave my mouth. The Red went on speaking, it’s infuriating smile growing wider. “It didn’t work. Not the tiniest speck of hate could I find. What kind of pathetic loser doesn’t hate the man who killed his whole family?”

  “Not every human mind works the way you think.” I said, bitingly.

  “I wonder what would happen to his foolishly loyal heart if something happens to his friend.”

  “You wouldn’t dare…”

  The Red laughed again. “Tick…Tick…Tick…Do what I want if you don’t want them The Red laughed again. “Tick…Tick…Tick…Do what I want if you don’t want themVIBGYOR to be hurt.” It pointed one tiny little finger at me. “And don’t think of doing anything stupid like keeping watch here all night. I’ll be here and you know what happens if you cross my path.” She twitched her finger. “Kill them and return here to tell me the job is done. I can reverse my mind trick immediately.”