Shiva smiled. “Thank you very much. I look forward to meeting you.” She flung the cellphone on the bed and examined herself in the mirror. A brief little giggle lit up her eyes. She coloured her lips some more and powdered her face a bit. Smirking a little at some pleasant thought she left her room.
The crumpled up piece of paper in her hand was delicately opened up. I stepped back rapidly and almost hit the gas cylinder. Death…The piercing smell of medicine was mixed up with the smell of death. She laughed softly as she mixed into a huge cup full of water.
“No…Shiva…” I lunged forward but…The heat hit me full in the face and I crashed down on the floor on my back. I got up and tried again, ignoring the horrible pain that had suddenly started up in my temple. This time I couldn’t even get near her.
“Spurred into action, huh?” The Red was perched on top of the gas cylinder. It leaned over to one side and leered at me. “A bit too late, don’t you think? Like the stubborn kid who stays on the playing field long after he lost the game…”
“You can’t…I won’t let you make her kill herself…You can’t stop me…” “You are an idiot, my dear Violet… I am not the one who stopped you. It’s her… She’s burning…burning from all the pain she had to put up with…Pain you could have stopped…”
“Stop it!”
“It’s too late.” The Red got up and stretched till it’s head touched the ceiling. It extended it hand and clutched my neck. “Game over, my dear. I gagged and sputtered as she lifted me up. My temples were on the verge of exploding.
“Leave…” I gasped as she gripped me tighter.
“Wishing for death already? She laughed. “Too bad…Your foolishness has granted you a gift humans would kill for.” As suddenly as she grabbed me she let go. My head hit the floor first, squarely on the back. My temples roared in pain. Then my body…I thought something snapped in my back. Then the arms and legs. Black crept into my vision like a spider’s web. I must have cried out in pain, for I heard the Red’s amused chuckle. No…I…I must not pass out…
I pressed my hands firmly on the floor and tried to sit up. The world wobbled. I fell back again. My temples burned. This time I was aware I was crying. And begging. I didn’t care…I just wanted the pain to stop.
“This is how it feels…To be at a place where you desperately want the pain to stop.” She grinned. “The only difference is, my dear, that I can stop your pain. But who’ll stop hers?” She pinted at Shivani, who was now furiously stirring coloured water. “You could have stopped it, you know…”
“Your…The ‘I told you so’ is getting on my nerves…” I grunted. “I…” “My way is painful. In my way, innocents get hurt.”
“Stop…”
“There…” She snapped her finger and the pain was gone. “I can heal your pain. Who will heal hers? The one who tried is gone. Transformed into another thorn stuck deep into her heart.”
“No need to say that…I…I was there…I saw it…”
“Yes, I know that. You did nothing.”
I sat up and stared around. The Red wasn’t on the gas cylinder.
Shiva placed the cup inside the refrigerator. “Chill…” She smacked her lips and said. I could feel the heat from where I was standing, so I didn’t bother closing. The emotional scars were all carefully hidden under the mask of makeup. A storm waiting to brew…A disaster waiting to happen…
“Shiva…” I cried out hopelessly. Nandan was the first to arrive. He smiled a little and did not meet her eyes when he greeted her.
“I did not call you to pick a fight with you or insult you.” Shiva said. She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. “We…Our past hasn’t exactly been pleasant Nandan but…It doesn’t have to cast a shadow on our future anymore.”
Nandan’s eyes narrowed. He surveyed her doubtfully. “Er…Shivani…” “Shiva.” She corrected, matter-of-factly. “And I think it’s appropriate to talk inside.”
With another expertly faked smile she lead him to the dining room. “I think I’ll get you something to drink. It’s been a hot day.”
“Shiva…” Nandan shifted uneasily on the chair. “I…Let me…I am truly sorry about what happened to him. I…I didn’t mean…”
There was a sudden glint of tears in Shiva’s eyes. She rubbed them away quickly. “I…I know, Nandan.”
“When I saw you with him, it hurt me. I admit that. It…It was…I don’t even know why. I shouldn’t have…”
“Nandan, it’s fine. I understand that you had nothing to do with Jacob’s suicide.” “No, Shiva. I…It was wrong of me. The hurt…It wasn’t because I actually cared for you…It…”
“Your ego was hurt.” Shiva said.
“I killed Anu…I came here just because my father told me to. It…This isn’t right, Shiva. Both of us have been hurt. We shouldn’t be forced together.” “It was unacceptable to me.” Shiva said. “But…I’ve come to terms with it.” “You have?”
“Yes…” She said. “I hope you do too.”
Nandan gazed at her, speechless. She smiled at him and went into the kitchen. When she returned, she had the drink in her hand. “You must be thirsty.” She extended it towards him, the plastic smile still stuck on her face.
For one moment, he looked wary. “Are you ok, Shivani?”
Shiva bit her lip, allowing her pain to crack through her mask. “It would be a lie if I said yes. I’m not ok. I just analyzed the situation and accepted it for what it is.” “I don’t think…” Nandan took a sip from the glass. “We’ve both been through a lot. I think you need time. I certainly need it.” “Have you told your father that?”
Nandan emptied the glass in one gulp. “I haven’t.” He said, wiping some sweat off his face. “He keeps going on and on about how much I wronged you and how I should put things right…”
“You don’t feel the same way he does?”
“I know I’ve wronged you, Shiva. Nandan said firmly. “But…”
“But?”
“I don’t love you. I…”
“But you don’t like me to be in a relationship with another man?”
“That…” Nandan looked away from her. “It was a mistake. I did not expect him to do what he did. I…I thought he’d understand that he didn’t deserve a healthy young woman and back off…”
Fire flashed in Shiva’s eyes. How she restrained herself, I do not know. “What will you do Nandan if your father makes you marry me?”
“I can’t disobey him…I…”
“I know that. “
Nandan rubbed his temples and shook his head. He stared at Shiva, his eyes strange and unfocused. “I…” He shook his head again and blinked his eyes rapidly. “I…After Anu…”
“Are you feeling alright?” Shiva asked. Her lips curled into a smile. “I…I’m fine.” Nandan shook his head. He stood up only to fall back again on the chair. Siva vent to him and lifted to his drooping head. The smile on her face widened.
I think realization dawned on him then. His eyes, struggling to stay open, widened in horror. “You…You…” “No…I didn’t poison your drink.” Shiva said casually. “It’s just medication that helps you sleep.” She paused, her face hardening. “I’ll just…help out to make it a bit more permanent.”
“No…” Nandan moaned, hitting her face feebly with his hands. “I do not have a big heart. A sorry is not going to make me forget my pain.” She said, slowly. “It was very tempting, you know, to cut your throat while you were conscious. I would have enjoyed hearing you scream but…I can’t take chances you know. Not even the tiniest chance. You shouldn’t be able to fight or run away. You know. Not even the tiniest chance. You shouldn’t be able to fight or run away. You
should be helpless…” By that time Nandan’s eyes were closed. I could feel his slow, peaceful breathing as I went closer to them. Shiva was blazing hot. There was no way I could….even if the Red was not around to stop me. All I could do was reach out to her with my hand(as close as I could) and call out h
er name. I wanted to tell her not to ruin her life. I wanted to tell her there was hope.
Shiva pulled him down the chain and dragged him to her room. She tied him up to the bedpost and locked the door.
“I’ll be back…” She called out cheerfully and drove off in his car. A while later she returned without it.
Nandan was slumped over, snoring a little. He didn’t stir as Shiva approached him with a knife.
“My dear husband…” She smiled and raised an eyebrow. “It is a terrible disappointment to not to see the terror in your eyes.” She ran the tip of the knife along his neck. “It’s a pity you couldn’t leave me alone” She sat down next to him and leaned towards him. “Did you think wishing that you did things differently would undo all the terrible things you have done? I’m sorry… But I don’t see how that works.”
Blood splattered on Shiva’s face as she plunged the knife into his throat. She did it again and again and again, laughing hysterically. Bits and pieces of flesh splattered onto her face from the horrid hole on his neck that was oozing blood. She bent down, towards his ears and whispered. “Now, you’re forgiven.”
She laughed again, staring at the knife dripping blood. Flesh clung to its edges. She wiped it casually on her jeans.
“I need a shower.” She remarked casually to Nandan’s corpse.
CHAPTER 38
The sound of water in the bathroom stopped. When Shiva stepped out she was wearing a plain white sari with golden border. A towel was wrapped around her wet hair. Her sari was a bit wet and a few stray water drops were racing down her forehead. She looked at herself in the mirror and picked up the eyeliner.
“No…” She shrugged and put it down, taking kajal instead. She also abandoned the fancy bindi’s and used the kajal to put a round dot at the center of the forehead. “Hmmmm…” She checked herself out and was convinced she had the look she wanted, which I presumed was that of the angel-faced, submissive village girl. Flower Girl 2.0 or something along those lines.
The calling bell sounded just as Shiva put on a thick black thread, with a locket that had Lord Krishna’s picture on it, and took off her gold chain. She smiled at herself in the mirror and opened the front door.
Vaishnav Sachidanand gazed at her open mouthed. Shiva blushed a little before greeting him. “Er…Vaishnav.” She said slowly. “Dad…He wasn’t the one that wanted to meet you.”
“I can gather as much.” He smiled.
Shiva went a deep shade of red. “You see…I was worried you wouldn’t want to meet me. We weren’t exactly friends, were we?”
“I don’t know about you but I thought of you as a friend.” He said smoothly. “Why else would I be worried about what happened to you?”
“I do see that now, Vaishnav.” Shiva said. “And I have to apologize for not seeing that before.”
“I imagine you see him now for the coward he is…” Vaishnav scoffed. “You were too good for him, my dear.” Shiva gritted her teeth and turned away from him. “I wouldn’t put it quite that harshly.” She said, wiping of the beads of sweat on her forehead. “He was a good friend.”
Vaishnav frowned a little but recovered quickly. “He let you down. I always knew he would.”
Shiva clenched her fists. “I guess so…” She took a deep breath. “We shouldn’t talk about…” “I know.” Vaishnav said sheepishly. “I’m sorry. I…I just about ruined…We weren’t “I know.” Vaishnav said sheepishly. “I’m sorry. I…I just about ruined…We weren’tVIBGYOR supposed to talk about him, were we? We were supposed to talk about…”
“Us.” Shivani blushed slightly. The towel fell loose from her head, causing her long wet hair to come tumbling down. “And I don’t think we should be discussing this outside.” She tied up her hair quickly into a messy bun and lead him inside. “Sit…I’ll get you something to drink.”
“There’s really…”
“No.” Shiva insisted. “I was so horribly rude to you when…I do want to make amends.” “I’d like that.” Vaishnav smiled and sat down on the same chair Nandan had occupied moments ago. He leaned forward to pick up a magazine next to jug of water. That was when he noticed the glass. The very same glass Nandan had drank from merely moments ago.
“Did you have another guest?” He asked suspiciously.
Shiva hesitated. “Was there another guest?” He asked again.
“There…There…”
“WAS THERE ANOTHER GUEST?” He shouted, slamming the table with his hands.
Shiva nodded reluctantly. “My Dad wants me to marry Nandan.” She said, not meeting Vaishnav’s eyes. “He called him…”
“And?”
“I don’t want to. I don’t ever want to go back to him.” Shiva wailed. “Please… Vaishnav…You…You have to ho help me…” Vaishnav’s face relaxed. He got up and went to her. “Don’t be silly, Shiva. You won’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” He said, gently taking her hand. “You Dad won’t disapprove of me.” He paused. “Now…I’d like that drink very much.”
“Of course…” Shiva said quickly. As Vaishnav made himself comfortable and skimed through the magazine, Shiva returned from the kitchen. Vaishnav instantly reached out his hand for the deadly drink. Unlike Nandan he emptied it in one gulp.
“Well…Now that the awkward situations are over…” He smiled. “Maybe…” “We ought to decide what we should tell my Dad.” Shiva cut in. “If he does object…” “He won’t object.”
“If he does…and if he disinherits me for disobeying him, are you prepared?” “I’m sure nothing of that sort will happen.”
“Vaishnav, you don’t understand. My Dad will disagree simply because I chose you on my own.” “You are his only daughter. He won’t do such a thing to you.” He took her hand and pulled her down on the chair near him. “I know you are not inclined to be optimistic at the moment, Shivani but believe me…If you want to be my wife, no one can stop it. I’m a a man who doesn’t like to be told no. On the other hand…” He lifted her hand gently and kissed it. “Yes is the most beautiful word to my ears.”
“Yes…” Shiva said softly. “Yes…If you can forgive me. If you…”
“I wouldn’t have minded a no if I didn’t want you.”
“Would you like another drink?” Shiva asked. “It’s a really hot day.”
When she came back from the kitchen, Vaishnav was rubbing his eyes. He tilted her to one side and stood watching him for about a minute.
“Are you ok? Would you like to lie down?”
“Vaishnav cupped his head with his hands and said. “Would you mind? Can you please help me to your Dad’s study? I could…”
“It’s upstairs. If you…I’ll take you to my room.” By the time she helped him up, Vaishnav Sachidanand, who always stared straight ahead with an arrogant gaze, could hardly stand. Although Shiva held his shoulder to lend him support, his feet gave away and crashed face down on the floor.
“Awwww….” Shiva knelt down and turned him around. She pressed his red and swollen nose as if he was a toy. “You passed out too soon.” She crooned. “And I really didn’t want you to. ”
She dragged him to the bedroom. Ants had gathered on Nandan’s body in large clumped. Some of then were on his neck wound. I could almost see their tiny mouths biting the flesh. She kicked the corpse over casually. “You’re turn is over.”
She sat on top of him and picked up the bloodstained knife on the floor. “Should I make this quick and clean?” Shiva slapped gently on his cheek and pressed the pointy end of the knife on his neck. “Or…” She laughed and pressed the knife in. Tiny, tiny blood drops struggled out through the edges. Vaishnav let out the tiniest moan.
“I’m glad you can feel it. “ She held his hand, apparently checking for some sign of “I’m glad you can feel it. “ She held his hand, apparently checking for some sign ofVIBGYOR
life. I didn’t need such tricks. The cold that spread in the room, which only I could feel, meant one thing. Death. Vaishnav was gone.
So had Nandan. It sickened me to think about it. Shiva, who I wanted to be happy, was now like an over the top villain of horror movies. Jacob was gone…Goldy was gone…And me…What was left for me?
A strange icky, squishy sound drew my attention to Shiva again. She had withdrawn the knife, resulting in a huge splatter of blood on her face. She wiped it off with the end of her sari.
“The girl you saw just now.” She snorted. “That wasn’t me. I’m such a good actress aren’t I? Just then came the sound of the calling bell. Then the front door opened. “Shiva? Who’s here? Isn’t that Vaishnv’s car?”
As a stunned Shiva stared around uncertainly, he knocked on the bedroom door. “Shiva? Where’s Vaishnav?”
The door handle turned. Mr. Raghunath stared into his daughter’s blood stained face.
CHAPTER 39
It was as if the whole world started working in some sort of slow motion. A whole minute passed before Mr. Raghunath took a few steps back. It took even longer for him to call out her name. First it was a horrified, ‘first person to discover the body’ cry, then it became a frantic father’s wail, calling out for his lost daughter.
Shiva seemed to become a statue. A grotesque blood soaked statue. Not even a finger twitched. Cautiously, Mr. Raghunath stepped into the room. He stopped only when his nose was almost touching hers. “What have you done? What…” He cried, shaking her by the shoulder. “Shiva…God…Just what have you done? How…How…How could you even…”
Shiva simply shook her head. Tears streaked through the blood on her face. Her lips curled into a tiny smile…” “Don’t worry…” Mr. Raghunath panted. His fingers shook as he held her close into a protective hug. “I…I won’t let anything happed to you…I’ll help you…You won’t have to go to jail. I promise…I promise…”
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