Watch and See

by Jiffy Kate

  “I want you, Harper. I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you. That’s why I can’t do that—fuck you—here. I refuse to treat you like I treated them. You’re so much better than that.” I cradle her face in my hands, desperate for her to understand. “I want to worship you...make love to you...in my bed. Please, let me.”

  Her eyes are still shiny, like she might cry, but there’s an added softness to her delicate features. “Okay,” she whispers.

  Relief flows through my body, and I scoop her up in my arms, heading straight to my room. I lay her on my bed and turn on one of my lamps. I need to see her, every inch of her. Removing my clothes, everything except my briefs, I crawl up the bed to Harper. A shy smile is on her lips as I unbutton her jeans. She lifts her hips, making it easier to pull them off her legs.

  “Can I take this off too?” I ask, gesturing to her bra.

  She nods her head, biting down on her lip to hide her smile.

  If she’s nervous, she doesn’t show it. All I see in her big brown eyes are desire and want, and I hope she recognizes the same when I look at her. Unclasping her bra and pulling it away from her body is like unwrapping the best gift in the world. Her breasts are beautiful, full and round, with rosy nipples begging to be tasted.

  “You’re absolutely perfect,” I tell her before pulling a tight peak into my mouth. I bite and suck at her plump flesh until her hips begin to move under me, looking for friction. I kiss every inch of her torso and stomach until I reach the edge of her panties. Sitting back on my knees, I run my hand over my straining cock, biting back a moan.

  “You see now how much I want you” I ask. “I want you so bad, but first I have to taste.” Harper moans as I grab the lacy material of her panties at the sides and slide them down and off. She starts to close her legs, hiding herself.

  “Don’t. I want to look at you.” My voice is raspy, full of need, but I have to control myself. This is about Harper right now, not me. I put my hand on her knee, and her legs fall open.

  Holy shit. She’s so fucking wet.

  “Has anyone ever kissed you here?” I ask as I run a finger down the length of her pussy, eliciting a shiver from her. Part of me hopes she’s experienced this kind of pleasure before, but a bigger part really hopes I’m the only one who’ll ever get to do this to her.

  She shakes her head from side to side, and a cocky smirk tempts my lips.

  “Oh, sweet Harper. I’m gonna make you feel so good.”

  Lifting her leg, I begin to kiss from the inside of her ankle to her knee before switching legs and making the same trail all the way to the apex of her thighs. By the time I make it to her pussy, my girl is a quivering, hot mess, and I can’t deny her any longer.

  The moment my lips kiss her clit, she reacts, her hips thrusting up as she cries out in pleasure.

  “Mmmm...so sensitive,” I moan, spreading her open with my fingers and taking a long, slow lick. “And so good...like fucking honey.”

  Burying my face in her, I nip and suck with wild abandon, feasting on the once forbidden fruit. When my need to be inside her takes over, I slide one, then two fingers in her and start to slowly pump them, drawing her orgasm from her.

  She grips my hair as she instinctively thrusts against my face. I latch on to her clit and suck until she screams my name.

  Slowly, I remove my fingers but continue to softly lick and kiss her folds until her body settles. When she finally releases my hair from her grasp, I look up at her and smile as I kiss my way back up her body, making a brief stop at her tits before claiming her mouth with mine.

  Breathless, she says, “That was... amazing.”

  “Well, there’s more where that came from whenever you feel up to it,” I tell her, rubbing my hard-on against her thigh. Her eyes go wide for a second.

  “Harper, we don’t have to do anything else if you don’t want to. I swear.”

  “No, it’s not that…”

  “Then what? Are you afraid?” I ask, needing to know what she’s thinking.

  “A little.”

  I let out a deep breath, sliding over beside her, cupping her face. “I haven’t been with anyone in four months, not since that night, and I have always used a condom. I get tested regularly. I promise I’m clean.”

  “No, that’s not it,” she says with a nervous smile. “I mean, that’s...good to know, but...it’s just that I don’t have a lot of experience. I’m not a virgin, but it’s been a while since I’ve been with someone.”

  “You and Anton…”

  “No, never. Not even close.”

  “I won’t hurt you,” I assure her, running my nose up her neck and kissing her lightly. “We’ll go at your pace...whatever you want.”

  “I’m afraid I won’t be good enough in bed for you.” Her words are blurted out, and they completely catch me off guard. I freeze, and when I don’t respond, she continues. “You’ve been with a lot of women, and they all seemed to...behave a certain way. I don’t know if I can do that.”

  I lie on my back and pull her to my chest, forcing her to look me in the eye. “First, most of those women were paid to act that way, and I didn’t really care if they enjoyed it or not. Second, you’re you, and you’re real and wonderful and amazing. I want to spend as much time as you’ll let me, making you feel good.” She hums in acknowledgement as the tension in her body begins to loosen. “Lastly, sex is a natural thing. Just relax and enjoy how it feels. Don’t worry about acting a certain way, okay?”

  “None of the women I saw you with looked anything like me. I would sometimes fantasize about looking like them and wondering what it’d be like if you noticed me.”

  “Harper, please don’t compare yourself to them. Believe me, I noticed you. When we met, I was instantly attracted to you, but I felt like I’d never be good enough for you.”

  “I’m glad you don’t feel that way anymore,” she whispers. I start to protest, but she stops me with her fingers pressed against my lips. “I don’t want to talk about the past. I just want you to make love to me.”

  Without another word, I roll her onto her back and kiss her passionately, moving my hand between her legs. She’s still so wet and ready for me. I discard my briefs and grab a condom from my bedside table drawer, quickly rolling it over my dick. Sitting back on my knees between her legs, I take a second to admire her, not wanting to rush this for a second. I’ve taken too long to get here, worked too hard to become the man she deserves. I’m going to enjoy this.

  Taking my cock in my hand, I rub my tip up and down her slit before slowly sliding inside, forcing my eyes to stay open so I can watch Harper. Her mouth parts as she lets out a content sigh.

  Once we’re completely joined, we both still, eyes locked on each other’s, absorbing the intense feeling of finally being together.

  Everything we’ve been through...the good, the bad, the horrible...has led us to this very moment, and I know I can never be without her.

  Harper

  I’ve woken up in Luke’s bed before, but never like this. It’s like his body and mine are one. His leg is tucked between mine, and his arm is wrapped around my torso. His hand is splayed against my bare stomach. After Luke and I made love for the first time, we held each other until we fell asleep. Sometime during the night, I felt his warm lips on my skin and his hand making soft strokes between my legs, and he told me he needed me again.

  Those words.

  That thought.

  Luke, my Luke—the combination of the man I used to fantasize about and the one I’m currently falling in love with—needing me, wanting me like that...It made me feel warm and content but also blazing with passion.

  His soft, even breaths against my back let me know he’s still asleep. I want to be here when he wakes up, but my bladder is screaming at me.

  As graceful as I can manage, I untangle our legs and slip out from under his arm, trying to not wake him. Once I’m standing, I turn back around and watch as he reaches out to the empty bed. His hand search
es for me, and it pulls at my heart. I want to crawl back in bed. Hurrying to the bathroom, I take care of business and then wash my hands. Standing in front of the mirror, I see a completely different Harper than the last time I stood here. That Harper was trying to make sense of her life. She was struggling to understand how her mother could leave her, and she was grasping for closure. This Harper...she’s stronger and more alive. She knows what she wants, and she’s not afraid to take the risks to get it.

  Something inside me has changed. I can’t put my finger on it, and I’m not going to overanalyze it, but it feels good.

  Walking back into the bedroom, I think about crawling back into bed with Luke, but he’s sleeping so peacefully. I don’t want to wake him. So instead, I grab his shirt off the floor and slip it over my head.

  I step out into the living room and find my bag where I discarded it by the door last night when Luke and I were kissing. I smile at that thought and touch my lips. They still feel swollen, like the rest of my body. I still feel him, everywhere.

  After digging through my bag, I find my phone and shoot Layla a quick text, telling her I’m at Luke’s. She immediately sends back a bunch of stupid emoticons followed up with a message that simply says: DETAILS.

  I roll my eyes and toss my phone back in my bag.

  Looking around the apartment, I get that same surreal feeling I had the last time. I walk over to the window and press my hands against the glass. I glance across the way and lock onto Mr. Chan’s building. My old apartment window looks dark, and it’s too far away to see detail. I try to imagine myself in that window, but I can’t. That seems like so long ago. And honestly, I don’t want to. I don’t want to live in the past. I want to live in the now.

  I take a deep breath and let it out, resting my forehead against the glass. There was a time when I wanted to rewind my life. I wanted to take back things I had seen, things I had done, but now I know that all those things led me here. And here is where I want to be.

  An hour or so later, I’m sitting on Luke’s couch, nursing my second cup of coffee when I hear my name from the bedroom.

  “Harper?” There’s a little worry in his voice, and I stand to go to him when he appears in the doorway. “You’re here,” he says, smiling sleepily.

  “Where else would I be?” I ask, shrugging my shoulders. “You want coffee?”

  “I want you.”

  I fight the smile, but I lose. Shaking my head, I place my coffee cup down on the side table and walk over to him.

  “You look so good in my shirt,” he says, burying his face in my neck. He lifts me off my feet and holds me tightly against him. “Stay with me today.”

  “Okay.” I smile over his shoulder. He didn’t have to say more to convince me.

  “How about I fix you some breakfast and then we take a shower?”

  “Together?” I ask as my eyes widen. I’ve never taken a shower with a man before. I’ve seen it in movies and read about it in books, but I’ve never done it.

  “Yes, together. I don’t plan on letting you out of my sight for the rest of the day.”

  “Okay.”

  He chuckles and leans down to press his lips to mine.

  Twenty minutes later, Luke makes me sit at his bar and puts a plate of eggs and bacon down in front of me. “Eat,” he demands with a smirk. “You need your energy.”

  I can’t help but giggle at his confidence. It’s sexy as hell. And don’t get me started on the gray sweatpants. I’ll never get used to the gray sweatpants. They’ll always be my Achilles heel, no matter how many times I see him in them.

  As I nibble on a piece of bacon, my eyes drift from my plate to Luke’s back while he prepares his own plate. I watch the muscles roll under the skin when he moves. “Do you work out?” I ask.

  He glances over his shoulder with a sly smile. “Are you ogling me?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Yes.”

  “When?” I think I want to watch. Is that weird? I really want to see him all hot and sweaty.

  He laughs and turns around with his plate, setting it down beside mine. “Uh, I work out at the gym at Fremont. While I was on sabbatical, I took up running. It really helps me relieve stress and work out...frustrations.”

  “Maybe I should run?”

  He leans over and runs his nose down my neck like he did last night, and I can’t help the full body shiver. “You don’t need to run. I’ll help you work out your stress and frustrations,” he says with a husky tone.

  Oh, God.

  I close my eyes as his lips work their way up and down my neck and then to the collar of his shirt I’m wearing. “I want…” I begin but drift off, unable to make coherent sentences. He steals the words out of my mouth with each kiss.

  “What do you want, Harper?” he asks as he continues to send me into another realm. “Tell me. Anything. Whatever you want.” His words come out in pants between kisses, and his breath puffs against my skin, the sensation hitting a nerve that goes straight between my legs.

  I glance over his shoulder and to the window, biting down on my lip to keep from moaning. “I want the window.”

  His head slowly comes up until he’s eye level with me. His deep blue eyes meet mine, and he pauses for a moment, reading me...trying to figure out exactly what I’m asking for.

  “I want you,” I clarify. “But I want you to take me against the window. I want to feel what it’s like to be completely consumed by you.”

  He thinks for a moment, placing a chaste kiss on the side of my mouth. “Tonight, when the sun goes down and the entire city goes dark,” he says, trailing his nose down my cheek, back to my neck. “I’ll let you fuck me there. As long as you stay in front of me...my back to the window.” He pauses, breathing deeply where I can feel his forceful exhale. “They can have me, but they can’t have you. You’re mine.” He kisses back up my neck and then takes my lips slowly. “I want you to feel the rush. I want to make all your fantasies come true. Whatever you need, I want to give it to you. But I can’t share you...You’re all mine, no one else’s.”

  His words send a current through me, flooding my body with warmth and want.

  I’m his.

  I haven’t felt like I belong to someone in a long time, if ever.

  *WaS*

  His large palms are pressed firmly against the glass while my back rests against it, the coolness a stark contrast to the heat radiating from my body. Luke’s lips make a trail from my mouth to my covered breasts. His teeth tug at my shirt until one of my nipples is exposed. Greedily, he begins sucking and nipping. Each bite sends a shot of electricity to my core. This experience is so different from last night. Last night was soft and caring. It was the two of us mending and healing. But this is raw and needy, primal almost.

  The entire world behind me falls away, and the only things I can concentrate on are the sounds coming from Luke and the way he’s making me feel. His erection presses into me and ignites a fire I didn’t know was possible.

  I watch.

  I see.

  I feel.

  I unravel my legs from his waist, and he spins me around, allowing me to see the city lights below—feeling the surge of adrenaline from the possibility of being watched. I brace my hands against the window, and my mouth drops open as he presses up against me from behind.

  “I need to be inside you,” he grits out. Turning around, I take charge by beginning to unbutton his jeans. He stands there, watching me. Just as I’m getting ready to pull them down, I turn back to the window and realize I don’t want anyone seeing him either. He’s mine.

  “Not here,” I tell him. “I want your bed.”

  He doesn’t wait for me to say anything else, lifting me effortlessly. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his torso. As he walks into the bedroom, I realize it was never the window I was after, only the man.

  He lays me on the bed and loops his fingers through the edges of my panties, pulling them off. Once I’m bare before him, he sits back
on his heels between my legs. I feel his eyes as they travel up and down my body. And like last night, my initial reaction is to hide, but the second my arms go to cover my chest, he pulls them away and anchors them to the bed.

  “Remember what I told you. Don’t ever hide from me. Always know that you’re the most exquisite woman I’ve ever seen. Every inch of you was created just for me.”

  I feel my body relax at his words. The insecurities I’ve always had crumble away.

  When he hovers over me, caging me in with his hands on either side, I lift up to meet him, begging him with my body. I want to feel him.

  His mouth descends on mine, and he presses his still clothed erection into me, putting pressure exactly where I want him. “More,” I plead. “I need more.”

  “Anything,” he tells me. “I’ll give you anything.”

  “Just you,” I say with a moan. “I only want you.”

  I look up at the man above me, watching as he loses himself in me…in us. When he opens his eyes and they connect with mine, I see it. I see the way he looks at me.

  I see myself through his eyes. And I love what I see.

  The end...

  Oh, wait. Mr. Chan has a few things he’d like to say.

  While writing Luke and Harper’s story, Mr. Chan and his thoughts on situations kept popping into our head. We’d love to share them with you in Mr. Chan’s epilogue.

  Mr. Chan

  “Hello?” A soft, timid voice interrupts my work.

  “What you need?” I ask, looking at the clock and wondering what this girl wants at ten in the morning. There’s work to be done, and Lin is late. Again. “Spit out, girl. I busy.”

  “Uh, my friend told me you might have a room that I could rent...an, uh, apartment?”

  “Took sign down. No longer available.”

  I changed my mind. I’d thought about renting out the small space upstairs that’s been empty for so long, but I don’t want the headache of collecting rent and fixing problems. I have enough problems, like nieces and nephews showing up to work when they feel like it. Looking at the clock again, I let out a sigh.