El nodded and asked, “But what about ... the embezzlement? They tell me it won't matter, but I'm so ashamed about it. How can I get up in front of all those people and admit that I stole all that money?"
"It will be hard, I'm sure. But it's the truth, isn't it? That's all they can ask of you, the truth. Once you tell it, your part is over. You can begin to put this behind you."
"But what will I do? I'm no good at doing anything right now.” Anything but sex, she thought to herself. I've become very good at that.
"I'm sure opportunities will come forward. You just can't see them yet."
El shook her head. Unconsciously, she tugged at her clothes. The doctor observed her actions.
"Ellen?"
"Yes, doctor?"
"Are you uncomfortable?"
"Well, yes.” She hitched her shoulders and looked embarrassed.
"Why? Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"Oh, no, Dr. Butler. I'm, um, well..."
"It's your clothes, isn't it?"
El seemed relieved that he said it, not her. “Yes. Frankly, I'm not used to wearing so many now."
"Really? Tell me about that."
"Mr. Sawyer always had me, um, undress whenever I came into his office. After a while, I got used to being, er, free."
"It's all right, Ellen. You can use the words."
"Naked. That's what I meant to say. He liked me naked.” She stared at her knees, afraid to look up.
"And now, after two years of getting used to being naked, you feel uncomfortable in clothes, is that right?"
"Yes, sir. Especially underwear. I really don't like them any more."
"Why do you wear them now?"
"Ms. Franklin says I have to. She said I have to ‘act right.’ I'm not sure why I have to. But I do it because the policewoman watching me makes me."
Dr. Butler licked his lips. “Well, I'd like you to think of this office as an oasis, Ellen. A refuge from all the confusion out there, all the people telling you what to do. I'm trying to help you and learn more about you so that I can give you good advice. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"Not really."
"I mean that inside this office, no one will know what goes on. Whether or not you wear underwear or even any clothes at all. That remains between you and me."
"Really?” El wanted to ditch her confining bra and pantyhose.
"Really. In fact, if you'd like to get more comfortable right now, I would encourage you to do so. Here, I'll turn my head."
El thought he was being so very polite about it. It didn't bother her to have men look at her. They've been looking at her naked body for months now. “I, um, don't mind if you look, doctor. It's okay."
So he looked while El unbuttoned her blouse and shrugged it off. She quickly unclasped her bra and let it drop to the floor, then massaged her breasts briefly to get some of the wrinkles out. She smiled at the doctor when she saw him staring at her, a slight tug at the corner of his mouth. Her nipples felt empty without her rings. Her attorney had had all her jewelry removed yesterday.
El put the blouse back on, but left the buttons unbuttoned as she stood. She turned sideways, feeling just a little self-conscious now. She wondered if the doctor was getting an erection and would that affect the quality of their session?
She pulled up her skirt and tugged her tight pantyhose down to her thighs, then sat back down and worked the material down each leg until she was finally freed of it. She knew the doctor could catch glimpses of her bare pussy and didn't care. For reasons she couldn't explain, it made her feel proud. She wished she still had her heavy gold ring above her clit. She wanted to feel that sensation of being on the edge all the time.
"Aaahhh, that feels good,” she said, allowing her legs to splay apart, still covered by her skirt. Her breasts played peek-a-boo with the doctor's probing eyes.
"I'm glad,” he said softly. “Now, let's continue.” He acted like nothing was any different, but El could see his eyes had a gleam to them now. It made her feel proud that she could arouse this staid and professional man. She decided not to rebutton her blouse.
"Tell me how it made you feel, to do whatever Jack Sawyer told you to do."
"Hmm, it made me feel used and embarrassed, at first. But I had to do it. It was preferable to jail."
"And later?"
"Later, it became ... well, exciting in one way and routine in another. It was my job, after all. My new job, I mean. I guess I got used to it.” She started to say something else, then stopped.
"What else?” He probed.
"I don't know, Dr. Butler. I'm not sure I can explain it."
"It would be helpful if you could try."
Ellen suddenly felt shy and she pulled her blouse together over her breasts. “It's hard, doctor. I only just met you.” It wasn't the nudity that she worried about—it was revealing her reasons for becoming a slut. She had never really had to talk about them before. She only had to act.
"That's true. Trust is earned, I know. But look, you've already felt some rapport with me—otherwise, you wouldn't have felt comfortable enough to remove your undergarments, right?"
"I guess that's true."
"I certainly don't want to rush you. The county has authorized a few sessions with me, so if you need more time..."
"No,” she said, making up her mind. “I need to say this, despite my reservations. I need to know if I'm, well, crazy."
Dr. Butler leaned back, nodding, saying nothing. He waited for Ellen to continue. The silence stretched on until Ellen couldn't stand it anymore.
"All right.” She took a deep breath. “The reason I didn't object more was ... I liked it. Not all of it, you understand. But something in me was satisfied by being told what to do, when to do it. Not having to make any decisions. By using my body like I was this sexual goddess...” She blushed and looked down. “You must think I'm sick, huh?"
"No, not at all,” the doctor said smoothly. “This is not uncommon among women. They are professional and confident on the outside, but on the inside, they are indecisive, afraid and searching for direction. You are not alone, young lady."
His words made her feel better and she breathed a sigh of relief. “Really? There are others like me?"
"Of course. Now, you have to protect yourself, you know. You can't give up all control or else you might get into some serious trouble."
"That's what was good about Mr. Sawyer. He protected me. He made sure that no one, um, had me unless he said it was okay."
"Had you? Do you mean, have intercourse with you?"
"Yes.” She was embarrassed to admit it. Where had that come from?
"Did you protect yourself? Wear condoms?"
She frowned. “Mr. Sawyer always said I could, if I wanted to. I started to, at first, but after a while...” She shrugged.
"Didn't you worry about diseases?"
"I should've, I suppose. It just got to be so much trouble. I just trusted Mr. Sawyer."
The doctor seemed nonplussed. He leaned back and templed his fingers, tapping the pads together as he thought. His face remained impassive. He leaned forward again, his hands on his knees.
"Would you be willing to tell me about some of your experiences? It might help to understand your mental state."
"Um.” She wondered where to begin.
The doctor sensed her discomfort. “How about this: Tell me about a typical day."
That was easier, she admitted. “Well, I wake up about seven and have a cup of coffee."
"This is in your apartment at the factory?"
"Yes. I shower and put on my robe and wait for my escort."
"Why do you need an escort?"
"Because it would take me too long to get to my office. Men, um, they stop me and ask me to do things."
"Such as?"
El looked at her shoes. “Like show my p-pussy or breasts to them. They would touch me."
Dr. Butler nodded. “Okay, so you get to your office. Then what?"
> "I call on the intercom to let Jack know I'm there, then I wait."
"Wait for an assignment?"
"Yes. He tells me what I'm supposed to do."
"And what do you do, for example?"
"Well, last week, one of the workers passed a production quota, so I was given to him for an hour."
"And you had intercourse?"
"Yes...” She paused.
"And what else?"
She looked up. “Do I have to say?"
"Why? Are you suddenly embarrassed?"
"Yes, I am. I shouldn't be, but I am."
"But you expressed no embarrassment while it was going on, did you?"
El had to think about that. “No, I guess I didn't. I didn't have to think about it. I just did it. Now, everybody's always asking me questions and Mr. Sawyer isn't around to help me. I feel a bit lost."
"It's perfectly understandable. You're changing, that's all. It's a good thing, I think."
"Really?"
"Yes. Now in this example, what else happened that you're embarrassed about?"
El stared at her shoes again. “He, um, spanked me ... and then he fucked me up the butt."
"And Jack said that was okay for him to do that?"
"Yes."
"Don't you see how abusive Jack was?"
El didn't want to tell the doctor that she enjoyed it. The spanking had merely warmed her up. Being fucked like that had made her feel owned, a sensation she experienced on a primal level.
"Jack would never let them hurt me."
"But you had to have sex with strangers. Tell me—would you have had intercourse with this man if Jack hadn't told you to?"
"Probably not. He controlled all of that."
"And you just went along."
"Yes.” El wasn't sure he would ever understand.
The doctor sighed again and sat back against his chair. He gazed at El for a long minute. Finally, he glanced at his watch.
"I'd like you to come back and see me again, OK? I think we have a lot more to talk about."
"Oh, is our time up?” She was disappointed—she had enjoyed slipping out of her confining underclothes and didn't relish the prospect of putting them back on again. Yet she knew Tami would spot the omission in a second if she didn't.
"We have a few more minutes. But I agree, you didn't get much time out of your tight underclothes. How about if you remove them sooner next time? Then you could have a whole hour free of them."
El flashed him a big grin. “Thank you, doctor."
They chatted for a few more minutes, then it was time for her to go. He watched as she struggled back into her underclothes and showed her to the door. “Have my secretary make another appointment for Thursday, all right?"
She nodded and left. Tami was sitting in the waiting room like a mother hen. She smiled at El, but there was concern in her eyes. El knew she wanted to ask her how it went, but dared not. It made her happy that she had at least some secrets from her bodyguard.
Chapter Seven
The headlines were brutal: “Sex Slave Boosted Sawyer Profits,” “Plant Really a Brothel?” “Sawyer Customers Say They're Shocked."
Jack put down the papers in disgust. “That's a good one—'Customers Shocked"—they weren't so shocked when they were getting their dicks wet.” He shook his head. “Shit. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe they are going to fry me."
"Oh, I don't know,” Sam replied. He had a cat-that-ate-the-canary look about him.
"Wait a minute. Just last week, you were worried and I was the calm one. You've certainly changed your tune. What do you know that I don't?"
"Nothing really. Just a feeling I'm getting about this case."
"Yeah? What kind of feeling?"
Sam looked at the ceiling and said. “Remember Sidney Biddle Barrows or Heidi Fleiss?"
"Yeah. So what? Didn't they serve some time?"
"Yes, but not much. The buzz surrounding those trials was one of amusement, not horror. They titillated the American consciousness. They got short sentences and they've gone on to success in other fields. In other words, America forgave them. And I see the same thing happening to you."
Jack was surprised, but pleased. “You really think so?"
Sam shrugged. “Like I say, it's just a feeling. We still have to put on a strong defense. But I'm more hopeful today than I was before."
"That's always good for a defendant to hear his lawyer say,” he said dryly.
Sam laughed, then grew serious. “OK, you know we're going to play up the embezzlement big. I think that will help discredit Ellen and show that the sex was really her idea."
"I don't like that strategy.” He couldn't explain to his attorney how much he cared for El, even if they now were on opposite sides of the case. By all rights, he should be looking forward to making her look bad. Yet his anger about her embezzlement had long been replaced by ... something else. He wasn't sure what yet. All he knew was, he didn't look forward to what his attorney might do to her on the stand.
"It's our best way of keeping you out of prison!” Sam said. “That video tape you took that first day is going to be a big help."
"You got it back from the police yet?"
"Yes. It's really too bad they found it. That would've been a great exhibit to spring on them during the trial. But now they're going to be prepared for it."
"Yeah, but there's nothing we can do about it. The police really took just about everything—the cameras, my computer, El's computer—they even spent a day in El's apartment, taking photos and looking for dirt."
"Oh, they have plenty of that.” He paused. “Of course, Gloria will be a problem—we don't have anything with which to discredit her."
"I know. She's such a prude. I can't believe she turned on her own brother-in-law!"
Sam spoke sharply. “I hope you're not thinking of firing her?"
"No, not yet. I'm not stupid—I know how it would look. But I will, once I'm acquitted."
"How are things at the plant, anyway?"
"Not great. Five customers have cancelled their contracts and three of them El helped me win! The hypocrites. I guess they're just running for cover."
"Can't blame them. They're probably all afraid of their wives or customers themselves."
"Yeah.” Jack shook his head ruefully. “I guess I should've known I was pushing my luck. But it just seemed to be going so smoothly, I hated to put a stop to it."
Sam looked at his watch. “Well, I know you want to get back to the plant. I'm going to be doing a little research here to see if I can't find some surprises for Franklin."
"Right.” Jack stood. “I guess I'd better go face the gauntlet of reporters."
Jack left and drove back to work. He found he missed El already. He'd gotten used to having her around, waiting breathlessly for his every command. He knew he was just being a sexist pig, but boy, had it been fun while it lasted!
* * * *
Tami sipped a cup of tea as she sat on the couch across from her charge, who was lounging in an upholstered chair reading a book. She couldn't help but stare—she found Ellen Sanchez fascinating. She'd never a met a woman who had so totally lost herself to sex. Her mind must really be messed up. Thank god the county authorized more sessions with the shrink—this girl needs it.
The first time she had seen Ellen naked—the woman was not shy about it—she'd been shocked by the jewelry she wore. Rings in her nipples and clit—and that tattoo! Outrageous! She'd heard that the poor girl had been made to wear a big “SLUT” pin in her belly button and some penis earrings as well. Thank god those had all been removed!
Tami wondered what it must've been like for Ellen to give up all control to others. To do whatever you are told. She knew Ellen loved Jack in her own way, so maybe that explained it. And from what she'd heard about the case, she suspected Jack wasn't quite the monster the prosecutor made him out to be. In her line of work, Tami had seen plenty of men who were abysmally cruel to women. Jack didn't seem to be that type. H
e was more of a manipulator. He took full advantage of the situation and had Ellen agreeing to everything. That was what confused Tami. How Ellen could still speak highly of Jack after all this. Maybe she just felt it was a fair deal—trade sex to atone for her embezzlement.
Tami had noticed right away how hard it was for Ellen to return to her normal life. She seemed to be happy doing Jack's bidding. Or anyone else's, for that matter. She had seen how Ellen responded to her lawyer—as if the Moose was just another dominant to be obeyed.
That was it, of course. Ellen was the prototypical submissive. She probably had repressed it when she was working her way up the corporate ladder, but when everything came crashing down around her, she reverted to her true nature. And Jack, being a natural dominant, was there to take control. Control she willingly gave up. To outsiders, it may appear that Ellen Sanchez had been woefully mistreated, but to her, this treatment was just what she subconsciously craved.
Tami felt a tingle in her loins as she recalled her own brush with the dominant/submissive lifestyle. She'd been a college freshman, away from home for the first time and open to new ideas. Her roommate, Linda, had been a natural dominant—and a lesbian. She wasn't a dyke, with big arms and a butch haircut—she had actually been attractive and slender, though taller than Tami. She wore her brown hair in a bun or a ponytail much of the time and she liked to wear jeans and tee-shirts. They'd become friends and although Linda didn't come on to her, Tami had allowed some of those thoughts to cross her mind. They had even talked about it a few times. Tami had been curious how Linda “became” gay, and Linda had to straighten her out that most are just born that way.
"Although a lot of people are bi,” Linda had said, her eyes on Tami. She felt a quiver in her stomach and wondered if she might be offering to experiment. At the time, Tami wasn't sure how she felt about it, but she had been curious.
Linda was the first person to describe dominant and submissive behaviors to Tami. She had been quite naïve in those days. Linda had explained that just like some people are born gay, others are born to be submissive or dominant. They can repress the feelings, but they never go away. Tami wasn't sure which she was at the time. Linda helped her figure it out.
Office Slave II Page 4