GUILTY OR HOT

by Carson, Mia

“Shit,” he cursed, his hips bucking and his head smashing into the pillow at the desire pulsing through his veins.

  She sucked on him as she had his thumb, hard and long, her tongue swirling around his tip before she took him in her mouth again. Her hand wrapped around him at the base and moved in time with her mouth, pressing deep into his body. Meanwhile, as if she couldn’t drive him any more insane, her breast rubbing his thigh with each move she made and her free hand played with his balls, rolling them until he saw stars.

  Not wanting to let go in her mouth, he sat up and grabbed her arms. He moved them around on the bed, kissing her shoulder and neck as he placed her before him, spreading her thighs with his knee, and rubbed his cock along her wet, throbbing lips. He held her body against his, cupping her breasts with his hands as he nuzzled her neck. It took a moment of shifting and getting the position just right before he could plunge inside her, stretching her again. She quivered and he bent her over, covering her back with his chest as he took her from behind. With one hand holding her hip, he reached his other around, tugging her clit hard until her soft moan turned into a fierce cry. His hips moved even faster, needing to hear her scream again, to feel her shudder around him as he drove them both into a world of pure ecstasy. Her body fell to the bed with his on top as the intense pleasure flowed from him to her and back again.

  Tim rolled off her and she turned to face him, grinning in disbelief. “Damn,” she gasped.

  “What?”

  “Where have you been the last four years?”

  He grinned, shrugging one shoulder as he leaned in to kiss her. “I was about to ask you the same thing.”

  The kiss deepened as he drew her into his arms, holding her well into the evening.

  Chapter 11

  Chris stretched and hopped out of bed naked, her body sore in all the right places. Tim grunted behind her, and she glanced over her shoulder to see him watching her, an admiration bordering on what she could only call love in his eyes. The idea of loving someone again frightened her more than she was willing to admit.

  Last night was amazing—more than amazing—and she liked the notion of being with Tim after all this was over. First, though, they had to make it through alive. A worried voice in the back of her mind said she was far from ready and she’d used Tim as nothing more than a rebound.

  And the other voice told that voice to shut up and enjoy what she had right in front of her.

  “Hungry?” she asked, glancing around for something to wear.

  “Starving, and I blame you,” he said, sitting up in bed.

  He lifted his arms over his head, and Chris paused in the doorway, licking her lips at those deliciously muscled arms, remembering how they’d held her through the night between holding her for other things. Her body tingled all over from his kisses, and there were beard burns on her breasts and thighs. She loved every single one.

  “I think I’m okay with that.”

  She winked and stepped out into the living room, picking up the first t-shirt she found and slipped it on. It happened to be Tim’s. She held the fabric to her nose, the masculine cologne lingering in her nose and all over her body from their night together. He was definitely more than she’d expected in bed, and her body thanked him for it. Tim followed her, wearing nothing but his jeans slung low on his hips.

  “I like your shirt,” he mused as she moved around the kitchen, grabbing a box of donuts off the counter and setting it on the kitchen table.

  “I thought the look suited me,” she agreed and poured coffee grounds into the filter before filling the back with water and letting it brew. He strolled towards her and leaned down to kiss her sweetly. She was more than ready to be lost in another moment with him, but her cell dinged annoyingly loud and she sighed. “I should probably check that.”

  He let her step around him, and she read the brief message from Manny. No new leads yet, but Maya was out. They had nothing to hold her with. All the pleasure from last night and the joy she had received from being with Tim faded until she was left with nothing but fear of the past happening again. She was with a man she was falling for way too fast, and his life was in danger. All that stood between him and possible death was Chris. It hadn’t worked out too well the last time for a man in the same position.

  “Chris?” Tim asked, reaching for her, but she staggered away. His brow knitted with worry.

  “I think I’m going to, uh…take a shower and clean up. Maybe put some clothes on.”

  “I like you wearing my shirt,” he insisted and followed her as she backed away. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing. I just think we are taking this too fast.”

  “No, you don’t,” he argued and crossed those perfect arms across a chest she spent all night curled up against. “You’re scared.”

  His words resonated deeply, but she laughed them off. “No, I’m not.”

  “Yes, you are. You’re scared of what’s happening between us. Scared of where it might go?”

  “Not even close, but thanks for playing.” She rushed for her bedroom, but his next words stopped her dead.

  “Scared you’re going to lose me the same way you lost Jeff?”

  Chris’ hand gripped the doorframe so hard her hand cramped, but she didn’t dare turn around.

  “I understand you think this is the same situation, but it’s not,” he told her firmly. “Whatever happens, you know who you’re facing this time. You’re not going to fail.”

  “How do you know?” she whispered, her voice shaking. “You can’t know this won’t turn out the exact same way.” She heard him step up behind her, and she closed her eyes when he turned her around to face him.

  “Chris, look at me,” he urged.

  She sighed and opened her eyes, wanting him to see the danger he was in if he stayed with her, if he got too close. She wanted him to see she was more broken than he realized. They had known each other for a week, and he was trying to pick up pieces of a heart that could never be put back together.

  “I’m not going to die,” he promised and tears burned in her eyes. “Do you hear me? I am not going to die on you.”

  “The choice isn’t always yours.”

  “I won’t leave you. I can’t.” His fingers tilted her chin up as he rested his cheek against hers. “You won’t lose me, I swear to you. So before you go putting up your wall, look at what you’d be turning away from.”

  “It’s not so simple.”

  “Life never is. Are you happy?”

  “Tim,” she argued weakly.

  “Are you happy? Tell me?”

  Was she? Last night, she asked him to make her forget, but he did more than that. She hadn’t needed to forget. She needed a chance to move on, and Tim was her shot at doing just that and getting back to her life.

  You’re falling for him hard, she warned herself. And I don’t give a damn. Falling for Tim wasn’t a choice. If it was going to happen, then it would. Who was she to try and deny what her body and her heart were telling her?

  “Yes,” she finally replied. “Yes, I’m happy.”

  “Then don’t run from this.”

  “And what is this?” she asked, pacing anxiously back to the kitchen. “What are we doing?”

  “We’re two people learning about each other,” he said. “You really haven’t done this in a while.”

  “Four years a while, even longer.” She and Jeff had never really dated. They simply fell into a relationship and let it take them where it would. Where was the harm in doing the same with Tim if he was willing?

  He stood in her apartment, half-naked, prepared to face whatever challenges came their way next without running scared. Simone might be trying to kill them both, but she’d let fear and her rage at the man rule her life for far too long. Tim was right. She needed to see what was right in front of her and enjoy every moment of it while she could. Hopping up onto the counter, she decided it was time to officially put the past where it belonged. They would catch Simone and that
would be the end of it. Until then…she grinned at Tim as his eyes narrowed in curiosity.

  “I think I’m falling for you,” she admitted to him, and his face softened into a warm smile.

  “I’m glad to hear I’m not alone.”

  “Not even close. So, on that note, how about dessert for breakfast?”

  He tilted his head, confused, until she lifted his t-shirt and spread her thighs to show him she had nothing on underneath. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he strutted to her. When his hands landed on her knees, she let his warmth flow through her body. He spread her legs even wider, situating himself between them, but the counter was too tall for what they both clearly had in mind. His hands cupping her ass as he kissed her, he picked her up and carried her to the kitchen table. Their lips only left each other for a moment as he removed his t-shirt from her body and tossed it away.

  “I think you get more beautiful every time I look at you,” he mused, kissing her neck as she undid his jeans, searching for his shaft. When her hands held him firmly in their grip, he bucked against her hold.

  She ran her hands down his length, his instant swelling wetting her throbbing lips aching for his touch again. Last night, there had still been fear driving her, but this morning, it was pure desire and attraction to a man keen to take her in her imperfect state. She shoved his jeans over his hips and cupped him in her palm as her other hand worked its way up and down in a steady rhythm. He moved against her hand, and she bit her lip when he snaked his hand around her front and pressed his palm against her.

  “So wet already,” he growled in her ear.

  “That’s what you do to me,” she replied and nipped his chest.

  The heel of his palm pressed into her clit, massaging the sweet bundle of nerves as her hands moved quicker, his pulsing cock reminding her of how many times he’d filled her last night. How many times he’d caused her to scream in his arms. He grunted, swelling even more, but before she could finish him, he drew back and laid her on the table. He swallowed her protests with his mouth as his fingers swirled her wetness before thrusting hard within her. With Tim, everything was right. The doubts she’d had about her feelings vanished one after the other as he showed her what love was like again.

  His hand vanished just when she was near the edge, and she whimpered at the loss. His cock rubbed against her cleft, and she wiggled her hips, ready to take him in. The table was the right height, and as he grabbed her hips hard, he placed his foot on the edge of the table and thrust until he was fully sheathed by her hot core.

  They trembled as one before he drove into her with solid, hard thrusts, never wavering in what he wanted, and Chris was ready to give him everything she had left. He lifted her hips, and she gripped the edge of the table to hold herself in place, the change in angle deepening his drives. She gasped when he found her g-spot, rubbing against it with each shift of his cock, stretching her as he grew even more. The room spun around her, and in moments, her cry echoed around the room. His grunt followed, and they stiffened then fell limp as ecstasy filled them. He slipped free, picked her up, and deposited them both on the couch, her resting on his chest. It rose and fell hard, and she lavished him with kisses as the last bits of the orgasm tickled between her legs.

  “I like having dessert first,” he murmured, kissing the top of her head.

  “We should start a new tradition,” she said, her fingers playing with his chest hair. “Tim, you know I have no idea what’s going to happen, or if this is even going to last.”

  “I do, and I’m okay with that.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really,” he told her as he chuckled. “I care about you, Chris, and that means all of you. And just so you know, normally, when people are a couple, they talk about anything and everything. If you ever need to talk, even if it’s about your past, I’m here to listen.”

  She lifted her head and kissed his chin. “Thanks, really.” A few other words almost trickled out, but she didn’t let them. For now, she would settle for him knowing she trusted him enough to let him into her life.

  She would save the L word for later. Much later.

  Just don’t wait too long, she told herself. Don’t you dare wait too long to tell him.

  ***

  Tim topped off both their glasses with more whiskey before he climbed back into bed with Chris. She swirled the liquor in her glass, lost in thought. All day they talked and laughed. Having nothing else to do meant spending every minute with each other, and frankly, Tim didn’t even care that his home was gone. Chris was opening up to him more and more, and with each new layer, he fell deeper in love with her.

  There’s that word again, he muttered to himself. Careful, or you’ll scare her off.

  She set her glass on the floor by the bed and lay back, stretching her arms over her head. The sheet slipped down over her body, and Tim nearly spilt his whiskey on himself as he watched. She winked and rolled onto her side.

  “Can we stay here, locked up for a month or two?” she asked.

  He set his whiskey on the floor, too, and stretched out beside her. “I don’t see why not.”

  “Good, because that’s what I want—you, me, and the cat.” Mini purred from the foot of the bed, sound asleep and lying flopped over on her back. Her paws twitched in sleep, and Tim and Chris laughed.

  They’d heard no news from Sergeant Merriweather or Manny. He hoped it was a good sign, but from the way Chris’ eye kept twitching, she was anxious for news of some sort. Completely relaxed, he closed his eyes and considered taking a nap, holding Chris’ hand to his chest as she slid closer.

  “The other night when I was dreaming,” she said, and he opened his eyes, surprised to hear her mention it, “I was dreaming about that day.”

  “When Jeff died?”

  She nodded, her hair swinging down with the movement. “Simone Dowell… he runs drugs into the city, amongst other things, but we were going to pin him for three murders. Old buddies of his. Jeff and I, we tracked him to an abandoned house, but he ran.” She played absently with the sheet between their bodies. “We chased him. Jeff said we should go back, but I didn’t want to lose him again. Dowell is not a good guy, and one less of him on the street was what I wanted.”

  “So you chased him,” Tim murmured, “and things didn’t go as planned?”

  “That’s one way to say it. We lost him down by the docks. Jeff and I split up, thinking one of us could flush him out.”

  Her face scrunched up as she shut her eyes. Tim could only imagine what she was recalling.

  “I was crouched by a car at the end of an alley, waiting for Jeff to signal, when the shot rang out. I heard him yell and then two more shots. I ran, but by the time I reached them, Dowell was taking off in the other direction and Jeff was bleeding out on the asphalt. I tried to stop it, but…he was shot twice and it was bad.”

  Tears brimmed on her lashes, and Tim brushed them away gently.

  “I never told him…I never had the chance to tell him…” She trailed off, unable to finish, and Tim held her, kissing the top of her head as she cried silently in his arms. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

  “You talk about whatever you need to with me. I don’t mind,” he promised her. “The more you talk about it, the easier the pain is to cope with, at least it was when my parents died.”

  “The pain is gone?”

  “No, not all the way, but it’s bearable,” he said, wiping the last of her tears away. “You just have to keep moving forward.”

  “Somehow, I failed at that part, but now…now I think I might make it.”

  Tim nearly told her then, but he held back, cuddling with Chris instead and letting the comfortable silence lull them both to sleep. When her breathing steadied and he was sure she was asleep, he kissed her forehead and whispered, “I think I love you,” before he settled down and closed his eyes, too.

  His dreams centered around Chris and him making love until she was suddenly
gone from his arms. He panicked, searching for her and calling out her name, but he couldn’t see her. An explosion echoed in the distance and he ran, stumbling over his feet as he ran into his office. Chris was on the floor, blood covering her chest, and a man with no face stood over her holding a gun. He cackled in Tim’s face, aiming the muzzle at Tim, and pulled the trigger.

  Tim shot up in bed with a curse, but Chris was safe and sound beside him, passed out. She frowned when he dislodged his arm carefully but remained asleep. He tugged on his jeans and shirt and padded out into the living room, closing her bedroom door behind him. The nightmare shook him to his core, and he trembled as he moved to the kitchen for a glass of water to calm his nerves. The apartment was dark aside from the glow of a lamp in the living room. After getting a glass of water, he paced around the apartment, waiting for his nerves to calm down so he could go back to sleep.

  He would do what he could to keep her safe and alive. She might be the one with the gun, but he’d be damned if he would let anything happen to her while he was around.

  He was about to head back to bed when his cell went off in the kitchen. He frowned at the time as he went to pick it up. Six in the morning on Wednesday. No one would be at the office yet, so who was calling him? He picked it up, cursing when he saw Nick’s number, and realized he hadn’t called his assistant yesterday when he hadn’t shown up for work. So much had happened over the past few days, he never thought to keep his assistant and friend posted.

  “Nick? Why are you up so early?’

  “Thank God,” Nick yelled. “Man! I was just at your townhouse and it’s gone—like completely gone! What happened? I thought you were dead and no one told me when you didn’t show up yesterday! Where are you?”

  “Calm down,” Tim said, moving farther away from the bedroom so he wouldn’t wake up Chris.

  “I will not until you tell me what happened to your house!”

  “It was blown up,” he whispered. “But I’m fine. I’m with Detective Harrison.”

  “Blown up?” he yelled so loudly it echoed through the phone.