Second Chance Lion (Cedar Hill Lions Book 4)
Page 5
She’d thought the years had provided her with a certain amount of calm level-headedness, but it seemed that all of that flew right out the window as soon as she saw her old love.
Faye bit her lip. But he wasn’t even that, she tried to tell herself. We were never together. It was just a crush…
It was useless to try to tell herself that now, though. She’d always known what she’d felt for him had gone way beyond that.
But that didn’t mean she was prepared to leap into a relationship with him now.
She’d worked hard for her independence, and after her first marriage had gone down in flames, she’d made up her mind: no more impulsive romantic moves. Sure, it might seem fun at the time, but she knew it led to nothing but tears and heartbreak.
Turning her head, Faye could see through the window that the sun had sunk low in the sky, dipping toward the horizon. She sat up, running her hand through her tangled, sweaty hair.
“Faye?” Lincoln’s voice was soft behind her. “What’s wrong?”
How did he know there’s something wrong? Faye wondered briefly – she hadn’t said anything, and as far as she’d known, Lincoln had been lying in a post-coital haze beside her.
“Nothing,” she said quickly, taking the time to compose her face before she turned to look at him. “I mean – it’s just that it’s getting late. Shouldn’t you be getting home?”
Lincoln looked up at her, his deep gray eyes steady. “I probably should, yes,” he said, raising himself to sit beside her. “But…”
Faye frowned as he trailed off. Was there something he was holding back?
“What is it?” she asked.
“It’s… well, I just think we ought to talk about things,” Lincoln said.
A short, quick burst of alarm sliced through Faye’s chest. “Talk about things?” She shook her head. “Lincoln, you don’t owe me any explanations – we’re both grown-ups, and we – well, we both wanted it. You don’t need to worry that I have any expectations of you.”
Lincoln blinked at her, as if he hadn’t quite understood what she’d said. “Expectations?” he asked after a long moment, his voice low.
Faye laughed, though it sounded hollow even to her own ears. “You know – I’m not trying to trap you into a relationship by flinging myself at you, or anything. That’s… that’s not why I brought you here.”
Lincoln was looking at her as if he was hearing everything she was saying, but not quite understanding it.
“Faye…” he said, his voice soft. “I know. And that’s… that’s not what I want to talk about.”
Faye swallowed. “Okay, then. What do you want to talk about, then?”
What else could there possibly be to talk about?
Lincoln hesitated again. “It isn’t the easiest thing to say. Maybe we should head back to the ranch, and then I can –”
“Wait a minute,” Faye said, raising her hand and cutting him off. “Head back to the ranch?”
Lincoln nodded. “I feel like this would be easier if you –”
But Faye was already shaking her head. “No, sorry. I have to be up early to make sure I’m here when the crew arrives. I’m not going all the way out to the ranch and then driving back at God knows what time. I need my beauty sleep.”
“You could stay the night. I’d bring you back in the morning.”
For a long moment, Faye simply stared down at Lincoln, too surprised to speak. Finally, she stammered out, “Excuse me?”
“I get up at the crack of dawn anyway. I don’t mind,” Lincoln said, as if he hadn’t heard her incredulous tone.
“That is not the point!” Faye said, scooting up the bedroll to grab her shirt and pulling it on over her head. “Look – the sex was amazing. And I won’t lie, I’d always dreamed about it. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to start sleeping over at your place! We haven’t even seen each other in years!”
Lincoln was watching her carefully. “All right,” he said, reasonably. “Maybe you’re right.”
Faye breathed a sigh of relief.
“I’ll sleep here, then.”
Faye stared at him, open-mouthed. “You’ll what?”
“I can drive back to the ranch in the morning. It really doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me!” Faye managed to get out between her gritted teeth. What was with Lincoln, anyway? One amazing roll in the hay and now he felt like he owned her?
“Faye, I know this may seem sudden, but… honestly, I didn’t realize until I came here that you were actually living in this place, not just renovating it.” He shook his head. “It’s not safe. There isn’t even a proper lock on the door.”
Faye could feel her face going red. To be honest, she’d had the same concerns when she’d first come here. She’d been wedging a loose plank under the door handle – it might not have kept out any would-be robbers or high school kids looking for somewhere to get high indefinitely, but at least they’d make enough noise to wake her up before they got too far.
“I know that,” she said, mainly angry because she knew he was right – well, partially right, anyway. “But I can take care of myself, you know. I’ve been doing it for years.”
Lincoln nodded. “I know. And I’m not questioning that. This is just… a matter of your safety.”
My safety?
Faye shook her head. “You aren’t responsible for my safety, Lincoln. What on earth would make you think you are?”
Lincoln was looking at her a little strangely, now. As if he was trying to figure out just exactly what to say.
“Faye…” he started, his voice tight. He paused, pressing his lips together. Then he sighed. “Look, I really wanted to discuss this with you somewhere… more comfortable. But I’m happy to do it here, since that’s what you want.”
Faye blinked, her confusion rising even higher. “Discuss what?”
Lincoln looked away from here, his gaze settling on the window and the darkening sky beyond.
“I’ve never had to tell anyone this before,” he said, his voice soft. “And you know I’ve never been much of a talker. So… my apologies if this doesn’t come out sounding as it should.”
Faye, bewildered, could only nod.
“You… you remember the stories from when we were kids, right? About people who could turn into animals, and back again?” Lincoln asked, turning to look at her again, his eyes piercing.
Faye cocked her head, her brow furrowing. “You mean… shifters?” She nodded slowly. Of course she remembered the stories. And she knew full well they were more than just stories – she’d traveled too far, learned too much and seen too much to believe they were just legends. It wasn’t the sort of thing you just blurted out in normal conversation, however – she knew most people would just think she was crazy.
And besides that, many shifters were fiercely protective of their privacy, and she wasn’t about to betray their secrets to people who couldn’t be trusted, especially when she’d only been let into those secrets in confidence, as a human who had proved herself trustworthy.
But… wait…
Why was Lincoln, of all people, asking her about shifters? Her brain scrambled to catch up, after her initial surprise.
And then, it hit her.
“Oh my God…” she whispered, her hand going to her mouth. “I… are… are you a shifter?”
She wasn’t sure why, but she felt silly the moment the words were out of her mouth. She almost expected him to laugh at her, but instead, he simply held her gaze, before giving her a quick, sharp nod.
“I am.”
Faye swallowed, clenching her fists.
Okay. Okay. I mean… that certainly explains a few things, I guess…
She was trying not to let her shock show on her face. Sure, she’d known about shifters, and had met a few. But that had been under entirely different circumstances, and never right after she’d just slept with one…
“I… wow, okay. I guess I wasn’t expecting that,” she said, rea
lizing that it was useless pretending to be anything other than surprised. She looked up at him, trying to remember the few things she’d learned about shifters during her time living near a pack of wolf shifters in Finland. “Is that why… you never wanted to leave Cedar Hill? Because that’s where… that’s where your pack lands are?”
Lincoln’s face twitched, and Faye bit her lip, realizing she might have said something to offend him.
“Pridelands,” Lincoln said. He didn’t sound angry or annoyed that she’d made a mistake, but obviously the distinction was important to him. “We’re lions. We run in a pride.”
A lion…
Faye sucked in a quick breath. Somehow, she felt in her heart that it made sense. Lincoln was so big and strong, and there had always been a fearsomeness to him that definitely made it easy to picture him turning into a magnificent golden lion.
“Oh…” Faye said. “So… your father… your mother…”
“All shifters. Everyone in my family is. That’s the way it goes.”
Faye swallowed, the memory of their conversation in the hardware store surfacing. “And your sons?”
He nodded, and Faye noticed the touch of pride in his face. “Of course. Both of them.” He paused slightly, his eyes locking onto hers. “But Joe’s mate, my daughter-in-law, is human.”
His… mate…?
Now this was something that Faye hadn’t heard of before. “His mate?” she asked, uncertainly.
Lincoln looked uncomfortable a moment. “You’d heard of shifters, but you didn’t…” He shook his head. “No, I guess not. That’s usually something private.”
Faye could only stare at him. “Lincoln, what are you talking about? A mate? I’m not sure what you mean.”
Lincoln drew in a deep breath. “Faye… this is… this is difficult to explain. Or maybe it’s just me.” He laughed, though to Faye’s ears there didn’t seem to be much humor in it. “I’m old. I’m set in my ways. I didn’t ever think I’d have to tell anyone this.”
“Hey,” she said lightly. “If you’re old that means I’m old. Not very gentlemanly of you.”
He laughed again, this time with a little more heart. “I’m sorry. Maybe I just feel old. Too old to be telling anyone they’re my mate, anyway.”
Faye froze. Thinking back over the conversation, she realized that of course that’s where this was going. He was telling her she was his mate – but she didn’t exactly know what that meant.
“I’m your mate?” she asked, hearing her voice shake. “But… I don’t really understand what that means…”
“It means we’re supposed to be together,” Lincoln said, turning to look out the window, his voice distant. “I don’t know how to explain it any better than that. A mate is the person you’re made for. Destiny, fate – I don’t know. But whatever it is, you can feel it in your bones.”
Faye swallowed, feeling dizzy and breathless. It seemed too fantastical to be real… and yet, Lincoln’s words had the ring of truth to them.
And whatever else she thought, she couldn’t deny that there was something about him that drew her to him – that made her skin hum with electricity, and her belly clench with warmth. From the moment she’d seen him this afternoon in the hardware store, she hadn’t been able to deny her attraction to him.
And the sex…
Faye felt her face go red – and she was usually more than matter-of-fact about these things. But damn if that wasn’t the best lay she’d ever had in her whole life. No one had ever made her orgasm like that before. It had been utterly incredible.
But even going further back than that… she knew she’d always felt something special for him. From the time they’d been in their teens, she’d always felt there was something about him.
But then, she’d left, before either of them was really old enough to figure things out. She’d moved out to California to get a job, and start saving for her travels. And then, she’d left the United States altogether.
Faye swallowed. She wondered if she might’ve stayed if Lincoln had told her back then.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked, her voice soft. “Back when we were kids?”
She glanced up to find Lincoln shaking his head. “I wasn’t sure. I was too young to know whether… whether you really were who I thought you were. And besides – I knew you had dreams. And none of those dreams involved moving into the ranch with me and accepting the rules of the pride.”
Faye blinked. “The rules of the pride?”
“It’s different now,” Lincoln said quickly. “Back in my grandfather and my father’s day, humans were viewed with suspicion – to say the least. Hell, even if I’d been sure you were my mate, I didn’t know if they’d even accept you.”
“Oh.” Faye wasn’t sure if she liked the sound of that. “But you say things are different now?”
“Not with every shifter,” Lincoln said. “But with our pride, they are. My son’s mate is human. Both my nephews’ mates are human. They’re part of the pride. No questions asked.”
“And… all this stuff about protecting me…” Faye asked. “Is that because we’re… we’re mates?”
Lincoln nodded. “Mostly. But there’s more to it than that.”
Faye’s eyebrows shot up. What more could there be to tell?
“I’m not just a shifter. I’m also the alpha of my pride. And that means every shifter and their mate is under my protection, and is my responsibility. No matter what.”
Faye looked at him, her eyes going wide. “So… what does that mean?”
“It means I can’t leave you somewhere I don’t know you’ll be safe. Not as a member of my pride. And definitely not as my mate.”
For a long moment, Faye simply stared at him. Then, she shook her head. “Sorry, that’s just not going to work for me.”
Lincoln frowned. “What do you mean?”
Faye stood up, pulling her shirt down to try to cover herself when she saw Lincoln’s eyes drifting down to her uncovered thighs.
“I mean, you can’t just come in here and tell me you’re going to take responsibility for me! I’m not a child – I’m a grown woman, and I’m my own responsibility. No one else’s.”
For a long moment, Lincoln simply looked at her, and damn, there was nothing Faye wanted to do more than run back across the room and get back into bed with him. Gritting her teeth, she stayed where she was – she’d just finished telling him she was a grown woman, after all, and no amount of raw sex appeal could change that. She couldn’t let her hormones get the better of her!
“It’s not like that,” Lincoln finally said, his voice low. “It’s… damn, this is hard to explain. It just means that, were anything to happen to you, it’d be my fault for not protecting you.”
Faye shook her head. “Lincoln… we haven’t seen each other in years. I know we… that what we had…” Faye blinked, feeling her head becoming muddled. Everything seemed so complicated. It seemed that somehow, all the intervening years no longer mattered. That this was where her life had always been inevitably heading: back to Cedar Hill, and back to Lincoln Whittaker.
Faye clenched her fists. No. It’s not like that.
She’d fought so hard for her freedom, her independence. Would she really be able to give it all up?
“I can protect myself,” she said. “I’ve done it all my life. I don’t need anyone else to start doing it now.”
“Faye, you don’t understand.” Lincoln’s voice had a little heat in it now. “It’s not a choice. We’re mates – I’m bound to protect you. If I don’t, it means I’m not doing my job, either as a mate or as an alpha. To leave you all alone here isn’t an option.”
Faye stared at him, mouth open. “I don’t believe this,” she muttered, starting to pace. “Are you serious?”
“Completely.” Lincoln didn’t even hesitate over his answer.
There was a long, strained silence. Conflicting emotions battled inside Faye’s heart: on the one hand, she could feel
her belly warming at the idea that a strong, gorgeous, alpha male like Lincoln had clearly lost his head over her. Maybe it was all the years of separation – maybe it’d made him a little crazy, or something. Certainly, she could understand that. After all, she felt like she was going a little crazy herself.
The memory of his lips against her skin, his fingers tracing lines of fire over her body, the feel of him inside her… it all came rushing back in an instant. Heat flared through her. Faye knew the way he’d made her feel hadn’t been all physical, though – it had been so amazing because of the way she had felt connected to him, as if his pleasure was her pleasure, and hers was his. He’d known just how to touch her and just what she wanted, without her having to say a thing.
It had been the perfect culmination of so many years of missing, yearning, wishing…
But that didn’t mean he could just come back into her life, and start changing it around, and messing up all her plans.
“Look, Lincoln,” Faye said slowly. “I don’t know anything about shifters, or mates, or alphas. But what I do know is that I need some time to think about things. You might be sure about this, but I’m not. I only just got back into town the other day – and I’m about to start supervising a renovation I’ve dreamed about ever since I was a little girl.” She shook her head, before looking up at him. “Surely you can see this is a lot to take in?”
For a moment, Lincoln looked like he wanted to argue. His brows drew together, and he opened his mouth. But Faye jumped back in before he could speak.
“No – I don’t want to hear anything else right now, okay? I need to get some rest so I can actually wake up on time tomorrow. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. Is that clear?”
Lincoln looked at her, his handsome face still creased into a frown.
“Fine,” he said, his voice a low rumble in his chest. “But don’t think this is going to stop me from watching over you. I let you go all those years ago – and it’s not going to happen again. Ever.”
He stood, and began pulling his clothes on. Blinking, Faye watched him dress, hating the way her cheeks flushed at the sight of his lean, muscled body.
Then, the full impact of his words hit her. “Wait – what do you mean, ‘watching over’ me?”