“I think she got a job.”
“That would be freaking awesome. Do you know how her test went yesterday?” Lexi asked with a mouthful of pizza.
“It was rough on her. She’s worried that she didn’t do well, but I think she’s just second-guessing herself. She should get her results next week.”
“We should throw her a party,” Lexi suggested. “What’s the Blue Birds’ schedule look like?”
“We have one hundred sixty games a season. I don’t have the schedule memorized.”
“Then, go look. Sam’s laptop is on the table.”
I sat at the table and opened her laptop, waiting for it to turn on. “Where do you think we should throw the party?”
“Paco’s. Duh.” Lexi rolled her eyes.
“I’m not having Sammie’s party at Paco’s. We have a series in New York coming up. We could all fly out and party there,” I suggested.
The laptop came to life, and there was a letter to Sam on the screen with the Kansas City Indians’ logo in the corner.
Ms. Sterling,
We are so excited to see you soon in Kansas City! Please report for your training as team pharmacist on July 15 at ten in the morning. Please find below a list of nearby hotels for your convenience. Our ballpark is located at …
I reread that line at least five times before realizing that Sam had gotten a job, just one halfway across the country. Hundreds or maybe even more than a thousand miles from me.
“Hello? Did you hear anything I just said?” Lexi asked, annoyed.
I glanced up from the computer. “Sam got a job in Kansas City.”
Lexi scrunched her nose and jumped off the counter. “What are you talking about?” She rounded the table and read the letter over my shoulder. Her demeanor changed as she sat in the chair beside me. “Shit.”
Both Lexi and I sat at the table in silence.
I should be happy for her, right? Encourage her to take this opportunity by the balls and tell her we’d make it work between us, no matter what.
But, right now, supporting this was the last thing on my mind because I was pissed. How could she apply for something like this without talking to me first? I’d asked her while I was in spring training if she was planning on moving from Baltimore, and she’d said no.
She’d lied.
I could have prepared myself better for this. Maybe not fallen for her head over fucking heels like I had. This was something pretty big to not mention.
“Are you okay?” Lexi asked.
“No,” I told her honestly.
Because I wasn’t. How was I supposed to be okay with my girlfriend, who I loved, moving halfway across the country?
“Maybe it’s a mistake. It could be—”
“It’s right here, Lex, in black and white. How could it be a mistake?” My voice was harsher than I’d intended.
Lexi shook her head and read the letter again. “It doesn’t make sense.”
The front door opened, and Sam walked in with a smile that I was typically excited to see.
“Lexi, what are you doing back already?” she asked as she set a bag from the café down the street on the table.
“My flight got changed and—”
“When did you plan to tell me about Kansas City?” I interrupted, turning the computer around.
Sam looked at the computer and then shot her eyes back to mine. “That’s not what it looks like.”
“Really? Because it looks like you’ve accepted a job with another ball team, and you will be leaving in the next few weeks for training. How else should I take that?”
She jumped at the loudness of my voice. “Calm down. I—”
I stood up and pushed the chair backward, the screeching of the two woods rubbing against one another the only sound in the condo. I brushed past her and picked up my bag that I’d left at the door last night.
“Don’t go. I can explain,” she pleaded.
Her voice told me, if I turned around, I would see her crying, and I couldn’t handle it right now.
“No need,” I called over my shoulder before I slammed the door shut behind me.
As I walked further from her, I could only think of how she had been so concerned that I was going to break her heart … but instead, she’d just fucking destroyed me.
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Sammie
I watched the door slam shut behind him, and I was dumbfounded.
“That just happened for no reason,” I told Lexi.
She was still sitting at the table when I turned to her. “Sweetie, accepting a job in Kansas City is kind of a big deal.”
“I didn’t. I’m going there for training. I’m staying in Baltimore,” I told her.
Lexi stood up and pointed to the door. “Stop him!”
I stared at the door and considered running after him. “No.”
Lexi frowned. “What? Why not?”
I walked over to the couch and sat down, eerily calm. “He didn’t give me a chance to talk. What I had to say wasn’t important enough for him to hear. I’m not going to beg him to stay when he was so intent on walking out. He needs time to cool down.”
“But you love him.”
“Yeah, I do. He’s going to have to apologize when he finds out that I didn’t take the job.”
“And how will he know that if you’re not going to talk to him?”
“He’ll find out when I report for duty as team pharmacist for the Blue Birds after I receive my test results.”
“Wait, you’re going to be working for the Blue Birds?” Lexi looked confused, and I couldn’t blame her.
“I’ll explain everything later on, Lex. I need to be alone for a while.”
She looked inside the bag full of pastries and fruit that I had gotten to surprise Ryan and celebrate my new job. So much for that. “Here, take food with you.”
I had zero appetite. “Help yourself. I’m not hungry.”
When I shut my bedroom door behind me, I took in the visual of the room. Everything screamed Ryan. The crumpled sheets from where we’d made love. The empty condom wrappers on the nightstand. His shirt that I had worn to bed, lying on the floor from where he had thrown it after undressing me early this morning.
The tears welled in my eyes, and the realization of the situation hit me in the gut. Ryan thought that I would actually leave him for a job. What was to blame for that? His insecurities from never having a serious girlfriend? Had I not shown how much I loved him and needed him in my life?
I unzipped my sundress and let it fall to the floor. I grabbed his shirt that was lying beside it. I pulled it over my head and brought the fabric to my nose. The cotton smelled like his body wash, clean and masculine, and the tears fell to my cheeks.
Maybe I should have gone after him.
~*~*~
“I’m glad I didn’t go after him,” I heard myself say to Lexi.
She refilled my wineglass and topped hers off. “Damn straight. He didn’t give you the opportunity to talk. He doesn’t deserve to hear what really happened. That dickhole will find out when you show up at the stadium. Not as the ball girl. Nope. But as the motherfucking pharmacist for the team.”
Clearly, Lexi and I were three sheets to the wind.
It’d been a week since Ryan abruptly left the condo, and he hadn’t called, texted, or stopped by. It’d been radio silence. My fingers had itched to pick up my phone to call him, but I refused. Thankfully, the team had been on the road the last few days, so I hadn’t had to work.
I’d received notification today that I passed my exam. It would be announced tomorrow that I would be joining the medical team, and I wished I could be a fly on the wall for that announcement to see Ryan’s reaction.
I decided it would be safe to watch the game on television since Ryan didn’t start as a pitcher tonight. However, if Daniels didn’t get his shit together, Coach Anthony would likely bring Ryan in to close the game. The Blue Birds were second in our division leading up to the All-Star break, and if
they won this game, it would tie them for first with Boston. Since they’d lost to Boston in the playoffs last year, Anthony was chomping at the bit to knock them out of the top spot before the break.
Daniels walked another batter, and the camera shot to Anthony, whose face was redder than a tomato. Anthony picked up the phone to the bull pen, said a few words, and then slammed it on the receiver before walking onto the field toward Daniels. Carson was already talking to Daniels on the mound.
“Dude, if Anthony doesn’t calm his shit, he’s going to end up having a heart attack one day,” Lexi observed.
“I wouldn’t be surprised.”
Daniels hung his head while Anthony was likely berating him.
“Do you think Anthony is going to trade Daniels during the break or wait until the season is over?” I asked Lex.
“Probably after the season is over. What do you think?”
“During the break. He had a taste of the championship series, and he’s going to do anything to make it happen again.”
My phone chimed with a text, right along with Lexi’s. Melody had sent a group text.
Melody: Daniels will be traded during break. Mark my words.
Lexi’s eyes were as large as saucers. “How in the hell did she know what we were talking about? She’s at the damn game!”
Lexi: Stop being a creeper. We were just talking about that. Sam agrees.
The camera panned to Ryan jogging toward the infield from the bull pen, and I groaned into my glass.
“I don’t want to see his beautiful face. It makes it hard for me to be mad at him. And I should be mad at him, right?”
“Definitely should be mad.” Lexi took a gulp of her wine. “We’ll just be two single girls living it up in Baltimore. This could be a good thing.”
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened with you and Adam?”
She thought about it for a moment and then set her glass on the table. “Adam is a fantastic man. He’s the best father to Grady, and he’s going to make the right woman blissfully happy. I just was not that woman.”
“Why would you say that? You’re such a wonderful person.”
“I just didn’t feel the spark like I was hoping would be there. It’s not fair for him to be all in and for me to only have lukewarm feelings. To be honest, I felt like I was never truly myself around him. I think he liked the teacher side of me more than the real Lexi. I won’t pretend to be someone I’m not. Adam is a good guy. He won’t have any trouble finding someone who will fall in love with him easily. It just wasn’t me.”
“Oh, Lex, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. Really, I’m fine. Anyway, after I told him how I felt, he asked what he could do to make things better, what he needed to do to make me fall for him. I felt terrible.”
“You shouldn’t feel terrible for telling him the truth. It would have been much worse later if you hadn’t. Especially for Grady.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking. That poor boy doesn’t need more disappointment from a female in his life.”
I held my wineglass up. “You did the right thing, and I’m proud of you. Here is to being honest and being true to yourself.”
She grabbed her glass and tapped it against mine. “Damn straight.”
I glanced at the screen where Ryan was biting his lip. “He’s going to throw a slider.”
“How in the hell do you know that?” Lexi asked.
“And Cruz gets Sellers with the slider to close out the top of the seventh.” The announcer states.
Lexi looked at me, and I shrugged.
“I’ve watched him a lot over the last three seasons.”
I watched as the team went into the dugout, and Ryan sat on the bench, alone. He looked miserable, and it made me wonder if it was because he missed me … because I missed him. So damn much.
I downed the rest of my wine and stood up. “I’m going to the park. I miss Ryan.”
Lexi pulled my arm, and because of the wine, my relaxed body fell back into the couch. “It’s just because you’re drinking.” She turned the television off and stuffed the remote under the cushion. “Now that you don’t see his face, how do you feel?”
“Better?” I asked, wondering if that was what she wanted me to say.
“Exactly. Ryan will be back. Just give it time.”
Chapter Thirty: Ryan
She was everywhere.
My place. The ball field. Under my skin.
When I closed my eyes, I saw her on that dock in Captiva. Her blonde hair blowing in the wind, her blue eyes full of excitement, and her smile brighter than the Florida sun. I scrubbed my hands over my face and tried to erase her.
She had known she was moving away and hadn’t told me. If I hadn’t found that email, would she have told me at all? Would she have just packed her shit and moved to the Midwest?
Carson nudged my arm. “Stop fidgeting. You’re making the entire table bounce.”
We were in the conference room for the pregame meeting, and per usual, Coach Anthony was taking his sweet time, getting his ass in here to brief us.
“Have you talked to Sam?” Carson asked.
“Nope.” I popped the P.
He huffed in frustration. “I told you, there are things she needs to tell you. Your miserable ass will feel a hell of a lot better if you just fucking listen.”
“Don’t really feel like listening to anything she has to say. She’ll find another baseball player in Kansas to warm her bed; don’t worry.” The words sat on my tongue like poison.
I never wanted to see her with anyone else, but it was the truth. Someone like Sam didn’t go unnoticed by men, and those motherfuckers out there would be fighting for her attention.
I could see Carson’s look of disgust from the corner of my eye. “You’re a real fucking asshole, you know that?”
“Never said I wasn’t.” Because I was. I was the biggest dick in the world.
Anthony came in the room with Owen behind him. Anytime Owen came to a players’ briefing, it was likely to pick out random players for drug screens.
“With Boston’s loss to Pittsburgh last night, we have pulled ahead to the top spot in the division,” Anthony announced.
The entire room hooted and whistled. The team had been on fire, and the excitement of the fans had been pushing us to keep it up.
“Now, don’t get cocky, assholes. We are only at the halfway point in the year. We still have just over eight games in the year, so there is no celebrating yet. We need to push harder. Play tighter. Be stronger as a team. After this All-Star Break. I want all of you focused on the prize. We are capable of making it to the championship series, and I’ll be damned if we’re going to let Boston take it from us again. Now, after the break, we’re going to have a change with our medical team, and I’m going to let Owen explain that.”
Owen walked up beside Anthony. “For years, we have been trying to expand our medical team. We want your healthcare during the season to be a one-stop shop. After much persuasion and research, I have convinced the organization to hire a team pharmacist. The purpose of the pharmacist is to provide medication management to you guys and to work closely with me on pain management treatment plans. The league is cracking down on doping, and you’d be surprised how many of the supplements you might be taking could contain substances banned by the league. Our new pharmacist will work with each of you, one-on-one, to determine what is safe for you to take. I don’t want you putting anything in your body without consulting the pharmacist, understand?”
Everyone just nodded their heads, but Anthony wanted to make it clear. “You put anything in your bodies without consulting the pharmacist, you will end up in an automatic suspension. Understand now?”
“Yes, Coach.” The team sat up straighter.
“Great. We have already hired a pharmacist, and she will be heading out for training soon and then starting full-time next season. I think you all will be excited to hear that it’s our very own ball girl, Sa
mantha Sterling, who will be taking the job.”
Sam?
I shot to my feet. “Sam? As in my Sam? I thought she was going to Kansas City.”
Owen gave me a smug grin, and I hated it. Sam must have told him about the way I’d reacted. “She is going to Kansas City for a few weeks after break to train with their pharmacist. Guess you didn’t get the entire story. We are thrilled to have Sam as part of our team.”
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