“What?”
“Would you protect me if that happens? Make sure they won’t take Lily from me?”
Who had inspired such fear in Lily’s eyes? It must be someone powerful for her to feel so desperate. If she wouldn’t tell him, he’d have to investigate on his own, or ask his brothers to help.
Unless it was one of his brothers who had inspired such fear. “I promise.”
“You have to mean it. You can’t back down, no matter who it is.”
He shifted his hands to cup her cheek. “I give you my word. I will do whatever I need to, in order to keep you and Lily safe.”
“Good. Good.” Her hands relaxed, leaving his shirt crumpled in its wake. She started to smooth out the fabric, but the feel of her hands rubbing his chest sent his cock twitching.
He placed his hands over hers. “It’s fine. Leave it.”
She nodded, then twisted away. Her hands reached for the coffee again. “What do you see happening now?”
He straightened and shifted slightly on the couch. “You’ll move in with me tomorrow.”
She choked on her coffee and coughed, Lorenzo rubbing her back to help. “Tomorrow? We can’t get packed in that amount of time.”
He glanced around. “Let me ask you something: do you want to take most of this with you?”
She blinked, then looked around, as if for the first time. “I’d–yes, there are several things here I’d like to take with me. And I think it would help make the adjustment easier for Lily if she saw familiar things around her.”
“Where did most of this come from? It doesn’t really match the decorating style you used to have.”
Her finger traced the lip of her mug. “I suppose you’ll find out eventually, even if I don’t tell you.” She gave him a furtive glance. “My family was never very kind to me, but they were my family. So, when I found out I was pregnant, I contacted them, as I had no one else at the time.”
She took a sip of coffee. “They basically disowned me. They were still weak socially after the embezzlement scandal, and having a pregnant, unwed daughter who wouldn’t name the father of her child would have made things worse, according to them. So, after some fruitless discussions, they threw me out of the family. No money or support of any kind. They told their society friends I was a bitch who wanted nothing to do with them, so they had no choice but to disown me.”
Fucking hell. “They made themselves into the victims.”
She nodded. “I haven’t spoken to my parents in over four years. The last time I called them was to tell them Lily had been born. I was so happy, and she was so beautiful. I just wanted to share that with them, or with anyone, really. I thought – stupidly, now, I know – that they’d be happy, too. They said, ‘Is that all? Don’t bother contacting us again.’ and hung up on me.”
She’d gone through everything alone? Even the birth? He’d never thought her family capable of this. “Was there no one to help you?”
She shrugged. “I had some friends. Not the ones that ran in the same circles as my parents, but others I had made through the various jobs I’ve held, or other single mothers I’ve met since Lily was born.” Her shoulders straightened. “But, essentially, yes. I’ve been raising Lily on my own.”
He almost smiled at the confidence in her voice. She’d struggled, but had made it through the other side. His eyes narrowed as another thought came to him. “I’m sure once the press gets wind of this, your parents or others might try to reconnect. What will you do?”
She clapped a hand against her forehead. “Oh, God. I hadn’t thought of that.”
“You said your number changed at the wedding. Is this why?”
Dazed, it took her a moment to respond. “What? Oh, yes. The funds for my living expenses, including my phone, were paid for through my trust fund, or really the interest on it. I couldn’t afford the fancy phone plan I used to have, so I changed it.”
“Why don’t you still have access to the trust fund?”
“My parents petitioned the lawyers who oversaw the trusts. Unfortunately, when the trusts were setup by my grandparents, an impartial third-party wasn’t selected to manage it, my parents were. So, even after I came of age and received the trust, they still had the power to take it away. And they did.”
“Was there no reasoning with them? Or your grandparents?”
She shook her head. “No, my grandparents had passed away by that point. My parents, well, they asked too much of me.”
“But surely–”
“Those fruitless discussions I mentioned? They wanted me to move back to Italy, basically so they could control me. They wanted to marry me off to a rich businessman and prevent the shame of having an unwed pregnant daughter. I just couldn’t. Not only because I couldn’t marry a man I didn’t love, but because I wanted to raise my child here in Valleria. It’s her father’s – your – home, and it had become my home and my freedom. So, I wanted it to become Lily’s home as well.”
His heart wrenched painfully. “How have you lived?”
“I worked. I was able to turn some of my volunteer work into a position. I wasn’t full-time, but they kept me on until the birth. I’d planned to stay on afterwards, too, but they couldn’t hold my position while I recovered, which took longer than expected. I thought about going back a week after the birth–”
“A week?”
“Yes, I know that seems drastic. Unfortunately, I couldn’t afford to take more time off. The new national health plan will help with that eventually, but it didn’t help me when Lily was born. Especially since I got quite ill and had an extended hospital stay.”
He sat up sharply. “What? What happened?”
“It’s fine. It was just some complications that led me to having a C-section instead of a natural birth.” Her mouth twisted as she rubbed her lower stomach. “I’ve got quite a scar on me now.”
Holy shit.
“Anyway, I lost that job but found another, then another when I was let go there as well.”
She clearly didn’t want to talk about the birth, so he’d save his questions for another time. “The hotel you mentioned?”
She bit her lower lip and nodded. “I might as well tell you this, too. I was fired today.”
“What? Why?”
“John, my supervisor, is a misogynistic jerk who didn’t like that I had to take time off – time off I’d earned, by the way – when Lily needed me.”
“You can sue for that.”
“I could. I might. But I need to find a new job in the short-term.”
He put a hand on her knee and squeezed. “You know I’ll help you financially, both you and Lily.”
“I know, and I appreciate it, but I enjoy working. My job may not have been very important, but I liked it unless I had to deal with John. And Lily’s growing up. She’ll soon start proper school and, though I’d like vacation time occasionally, I don’t need every day off. I like being useful.”
“Then come work for me.”
She pressed back against the couch. “For you?”
“At the castle. Besides the MARC – you know what the MARC is, right? – there’s an extensive conference and event center. I usually let my admin handle that piece, but it’s getting overwhelming for him. I’m also planning to launch some initiatives to expand the programs at the MARC, and if he’s interested I’d like him to help with that. If you took over the conference center, you’d still be close to Liliana and you could set your own hours. Well, as much as you can with event planning.”
“Are you serious?”
“Completely. I was going to talk to Rio – Michael Rio, that’s my admin – about it. If he’s game, would you consider it? You could take your time, get yours and Liliana’s rooms set at the castle before you started.”
She gave him a wary look. “That’s a question I had. Where exactly do you expect me to stay in the castle?”
He was confused until the meaning of her words dawned on him. “Jesus, Lily.”
“I just wanted–”
He ran an agitated hand through his hair. “Look, let’s get one thing straight. You’d have your own room, and Liliana would have hers. I’d like them to be near mine, because I want Liliana to know I’m close if she ever needs me for anything. If you want more distance, you can settle in a different part of my wing of the castle, but that’s as far as I’m willing to let you go.”
She swallowed. “No. No, that’s more than fine. Thank you.”
Irritation burned with the anger. He couldn’t let her leave him again. “And here’s another thing to get straight.” He leaned towards her, and she leaned back, her head stretching over the arm of the couch. He crowded her against the soft, cushy fabric. “I want you.”
Her eyes widened on a gasp. “What?”
“I want you. Do you think that even after five years apart I wouldn’t desire you? Crave you?”
“Lorenzo.”
“I can tell you’re still attracted to me. The way your cheeks are tinged pink and way you’re shivering; you want me, too.”
“Lorenzo, I can’t–”
“You won’t, you mean.” He leaned back, giving them both some space. Was there something about him that wasn’t enough for her?
He wrenched the words from his lips. “Are you seeing anyone else? Is there another man in the picture?”
She shook her head. “There’s been no one since you.”
He nearly gasped. “Not in five years?”
“No. Once I found out I was pregnant, I just didn’t have time between work and Lily. Plus, I also still cared for you. It didn’t feel right to move on until you knew about Lily.”
Cared. Past tense again. Yet, she hadn’t moved on. Even he – the ‘Playboy Prince’ – had never moved on from her. He’d been physical, but never emotional, with other women. Seeing Lily with their daughter, seeing her now in the loving home she’d built…he wanted her and he wanted her love, too.
It was time for them to move forward together. He still wasn’t sure how he’d convince her to give him another chance, but he’d have to try. “I know about Liliana now, but the time for others is over. We need to move beyond the past. We need to start spending time together, and build a future together. Unless there’s another reason you don’t want that?”
“Lorenzo–”
“You said this mysterious person who kept us apart is now pushing us back together. Is that right?”
Lily nodded. “Sort of. They wanted you to know about Lily, though I don’t know what they’d think about us becoming a couple again.”
“Are you still worried they’d pull us apart if we got together?”
Her voice was barely a whisper. “Yes.”
“Is that the only thing worrying you?”
“No.”
Why wouldn’t she just say it? Why couldn’t she just admit why she was scared? “Then what is it? What are you scared of?”
“You,” she burst out. “N-not of you hurting me, not like that. But of you leaving me.”
He was gobsmacked. “Why would I leave you? Is there some other deep dark secret you haven’t told me?”
She bit her lower lip, but didn’t answer.
“Lily? What is it?”
She released her lip and spoke softly. “It’s me.”
His hands itched to bring her close, give her comfort, but he resisted. He didn’t think she’d want it just yet. “What about you?”
“My past. My family’s past. If we got together again, it would all come out again, this time on the front pages of newspapers, and on the evening news. It could hurt you and your family. Not to mention everything the press might say, and the scrutiny we’ll be under.”
“Once people realize we’re together, it won’t be an issue. We’ll handle it.”
Her brows arched up. “How? Are you going to force me to marry you or something?”
The corner of his lips tipped up. “I would never force a woman to do anything. I will ask you to marry me. Though, don’t worry, I won’t ask just yet.”
She shook her head. “We don’t know each other anymore. We’re–”
“–the loves of each other’s lives.”
She sucked in a loud breath. “You–No, we’re not.”
“We are. At least, you’re mine.”
Her body stiffened. “Lo–”
“You think I don’t know what I’m feeling? You think I can’t breathe you in, feel you pressed against me, hear your goddamn sexy voice and not know it? Not realize it? I’ve been lost for years waiting for you.”
She tipped her nose up. “You weren’t exactly celibate these last several years.”
All those damn rumours were coming back to haunt him now. “No, I wasn’t. The press exaggerated some of it, but I did see other women. I never hurt the women I was with, but I was with other women. ‘Playboy Prince’. That was my brother Nate’s moniker until he found his love. The press has since declared it mine. What’s a man to do when the woman he loved left him shattered and broken, knowing he’d never find that kind of love again? I slept around. It’s something we’ll both have to deal with, not only because of what our daughter might hear about me, but also because of what I want us to be.”
“And you want us to be together? A family?”
“Would that be so terrible? No, don’t answer now. I don’t think I can bear the answer either way.”
She was silent for a minute as her body relaxed once more. “What now?”
“Now I go home and tell my parents they’re grandparents again. They’ll want to come down and visit, and I’m sorry that can’t be avoided.” Her skin went deathly white and he rushed to her. “What’s wrong? Lily, talk to me!”
She shook her head. “It’s nothing. I’m just, uh, wondering, if I should, uh, tell my parents about this before the news hits the papers.”
She hadn’t been thinking of that, he was sure of it. She’d been thinking about meeting his parents for the first time, but he let it slide for now since the color had just begun to come back into her cheeks. “Don’t call your parents. They haven’t bothered to help you, so there’s no reason you should do the same. They’ll try to contact you, I’m sure of it, but we can hold them off. Another benefit of living at the castle: no one comes in if they’re not allowed.”
“Yes. Of course. Yes, you’re right.”
“One more thing before I go. Things will get terribly confusing if I call you both Lily. Do you think our daughter will mind being called Liliana?”
“Oh. You can call me Cecilia, or Cece.”
He brushed his knuckles against her cheek and saw a blush bloom. “I’ll never be able to call you anything but Lily, I’m afraid. It’s how you’re etched in my mind for all eternity. Would our daughter find it so upsetting to be called by her full name?”
She swallowed, and this time he followed the line of her throat with his finger; she shivered. “I don’t want Lily to feel too many changes at once. I don’t know if she’ll like being called by her full name.”
“My parents will never call her anything but; they only ever call us by our full names. What’s her last name? We’ll need to change that, too.”
“We won’t.”
His daughter would have his last name. “Lily–”
“Her name’s already Santoro.”
He sucked in a breath. “What?”
“I don’t know if being a princess means it has to change to something else, but I put your name on the birth certificate.”
He was still breathless. “What?”
“I know it was risky. I almost didn’t do it, but I wanted her to have your name. After I broke things off with you, I moved here to Masillia. No other royals lived here then, as you were still recovering in Valentia. I gave birth at a Masillian hospital, and no one there blinked an eye when I told them her name. I suppose few seem to think about the fact that the royals have a last name; fewer still seem to know it’s Santoro. You’re usually referred to as Prince Lorenzo
or Captain Lorenzo in the press. No one connected the dots or, if they did, they kept it quiet. I mean, it’s not as though anyone knew we were together. It was always a secret.”
He could hear the pain in her voice. They had kept it a secret, partly because his convalescence had been a secret as well. If they’d announced their relationship, the press and public would have known their prince had been wounded, which mission he’d been wounded on, and that he was suffering from PTSD. The public scrutiny would have been unbearable while he recovered.
He reached over and took her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how much it would hurt you when we keep our relationship a secret. I certainly wasn’t ashamed of you.”
Her voice had gone breathy again. “Really?”
“Really and truly. I just didn’t want either of us in trouble, especially since patients and volunteers weren’t allowed to fraternize. I actually couldn’t believe an angel had somehow fallen in love with me. I know I don’t deserve you, but I really hope you’ll consider a future with me. I can do better, I promise.”
Her mouth was agog. “You think that you don’t deserve me?”
“No, but I am glad you gave Liliana my name anyway.” Why did he feel so proud knowing his daughter bore his name? “That’ll make things a little easier for her. We can discuss her first name tomorrow night.”
“I’ll talk to her about it in the morning. But, Lorenzo, we should talk about this.”
“About the move? Yes, you’re right.”
“No, about what you said, about thinking you don’t deserve me.”
He just couldn’t handle her response right now. What if she agreed with him and called the whole thing off? “We’ll discuss it tomorrow night, all right? Regarding the move, I’ll have some men and women come in the morning. They’ll pack everything up for you. All you need to do is tell them what stays and what goes. If you want to sell any of it, let me know and I’ll arrange it. You’ll keep the money, of course. We could also donate the items, if you prefer.”
She paused a beat, then nodded. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”
“Just tell me, or tell the movers if you want to donate it; they can drop those pieces off after they move everything else.”
Lorenzo & Lily (Royals of Valleria #8) Page 9