I could tell that Taylor had pushed herself harder than ever, working out until her hair and face were dripping with sweat.
She looked over at me. “How are things going with Joshua now that you’re having his baby?”
I smirked at her sarcasm. “Why, Taylor?”
“All right, I’m sorry. But you’ve got to admit your husband has been tripping for a while now.” She shook her head.
“He’s the same Joshua,” I said, looking down.
Taylor smirked. “Yep. Uptight.”
“He is not.” I looked up and smiled. “But he is happy about the baby.”
“I’m just playing. You’ve got a good one, I’ll give you that.”
Now was the time to ask her. “So do you, and by the way, how is Keith?”
“He’s good.” Taylor avoided eye contact at this point.
“If he’s so good, when are you going to marry him?”
“I don’t know.” She threw one of her hands up. “Maybe never.”
“Never? What’s the point of being engaged if you’re never going to get married?”
“I ain’t so sure I wanna marry him anymore.” Taylor put her hands over her face. “I’m thinking about giving him back his ring.”
I pushed my head back. “Whoa. Giving back expensive jewelry. Now I know you’re serious.”
“I’m not playin’.” Taylor didn’t blink.
“I see.”
She turned away from me. “I just ain’t sure he’s the one for me.”
I shook my head. “Oh, you’ve got to come up with something better than that. I haven’t met two people who are better suited for each other than you two.”
Indeed this was true. Ever since she had met Keith, they had been a positive influence on each other. He helped her through the very excruciating physical and emotional pain she endured as a result of her accident. He also led her lovingly to the Lord. She, on the other hand, helped to renew his faith in miracles and challenged him to commit to a home church when he had become weary. Then, to top it all off, he invested in her dream to buy The Push It Fitness Center, and became her business partner. With Taylor as a physical trainer and Keith as a physical therapist, they had pushed each other to the brink and back again. There was no doubt in my mind that they belonged together.
“Well, maybe I’m just not with this whole marriage thing. Remember, that’s your thing, not mine.” Taylor turned to me and frowned up her face.
“Oh, please. Spare me the drama. A couple of months ago you were as excited about marrying Keith as he is about marrying you.” I walked up close to her and got in her face. “Now what happened?”
“I don’t know.” She turned her back to me again.
“You don’t know? I don’t believe that. I hope this isn’t about that little silly promise you made about having to walk down the aisle.”
“It ain’t silly. It’s what I want.”
“I know that. But if you’ve got a great man waiting for you at the altar, then what difference does it make how you get there?” I tilted my head to the side for emphasis. “Walk, run, hop, slide, or crawl, but get there and get your man.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You can use both your legs. I thought I would’ve been healed by now.” When Taylor turned around I could see the sadness in her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Taylor.”
Tears began to run down her cheeks. “Who would have thought that after one car wreck I’d lose everything.”
“You haven’t lost everything.” I started counting her blessings on my fingers. “You still have your life, your family, your faith, and now you have Keith.”
“I thought I would’ve been back to normal by now,” Taylor yelled out. “After I started having feeling again in my legs, I just knew I was going to walk on my own.”
“But look how far you’ve come—from paralysis to being able to get around on your own.
That’s quite an accomplishment.” I knew how important it was to be supportive.
Taylor dried her eyes with her sleeve. “It’s nothing.” “It’s a big something. Don’t give up faith. The scripture says by His stripes we are healed.”
“Yeah, yeah. Please don’t go throwing scriptures at me, Mrs. Preacher’s Wife.”
“I’ve been giving you scriptures long before I ever met Joshua.”
“Yeah, that’s true. You were getting on my nerves then, and you’re on my nerves now.”
“Just marry the man, all right? I promise you it’ll be okay.”
“I told you already that I’ll marry him when I can walk down the aisle to him.”
“When are you going to give up this ridiculous idea of walking again before you get married? God is a healer and all, but you can’t put time limits on God’s work.”
“You don’t understand, I ain’t never wanted nothing more than to walk down the aisle to Keith. He’s the only one I ever dreamed about marrying at all,” she sniffled.
“I know that but—”
Taylor’s face looked like she was in deep pain. “No, you don’t understand. It was never easy for me to give my heart away. I may look like you, but I’m not like you. Marriage ain’t never meant that much to me.”
“But you love Keith. I know you do,” I pleaded.
Taylor squeezed her eyes shut. “But I don’t want to be no cripple, having people feeling all sorry for me on my wedding day. That’s just too much.”
“Oh, Taylor.”
“I want to be whole, not rolling in a wheelchair or on crutches, or a walker—just my own cute little toes in a cool pair of sling backs or something. Why can’t everybody just understand that? I mean, God didn’t create me with wheels, so why should I have them now?”
I looked at my very determined sister who wasn’t ready to be pushed, pulled, or prodded down the aisle, not for anyone, not even for her fiancé. “I think you’re just being stubborn and unreasonable.”
That was always Taylor’s dilemma. She was relentless even when she was wrong. It was that kind of bona fide hardheadedness that had contributed to her accident in the first place. She had no business out clubbing with that guy, and then letting him drive her home while he was drunk. The memory of her twisted-up body in the hospital was too much for me. I hoped that this time she would listen before she got herself into more trouble.
“My wedding means too much to me. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing, ’cause I know if things with Keith don’t work out, I’ll never fall into this trap again.” Taylor turned her back to me. “I won’t even try.”
“Come on, you can’t be serious.”
“I am, and I won’t marry him unless I can walk down the aisle on my own two legs.”
When Taylor first accepted Keith’s proposal and told him under what conditions she’d marry him, I thought it was cute, but not anymore. “Keith is a great guy, and you’re making him wait indefinitely.”
“So?”
“So it’s not fair.” I walked over to face her. “It’s almost like you’re punishing him for loving you.”
“Don’t you think I know that? I owe it to him. Keith is more than just some dude. He’s the best physical therapist around, and he’s also my business partner, and next to you, he’s my best friend. I was blessed to meet him right after the accident.” Taylor looked me straight in the eyes. “I still remember not being able to feel anything below my waist. I thought I’d die.”
“But God didn’t let you die.”
“But that junk was scary, even though everybody was praying.”
I burst out into laughter. “That’s because your heathen self didn’t believe in prayer back then.”
“Of course not. How could I have? Don’t you remember Mama died with everyone praying. You don’t know what it’s like to be paralyzed, especially if you’re like me, into fitness and stuff.”
I didn’t feel like hearing it again. “I know. It was a nightmare.”
Taylor began to wipe the tears that were again running down he
r face. “I didn’t want anything to do with Keith at first.”
“I remember. Poor guy was so nice and sweet, and you were so ... uh ... difficult.”
Taylor wiped her face with her sleeve. “I figured if my life was over, then there was no sense in making the pain worse. Shoot, I never knew he’d actually help me, help my pain, my mind ...”
“And your heart,” I added.
“Next thing I knew, we were good friends, even though he was one of those born-again types I didn’t trust at all back then.” Taylor picked up one of her leg braces. “He helped me to not feel so helpless, and then he stuck by me when I wasn’t strong.”
“Yep, he did.” I nodded my head in agreement.
Taylor poked out her bottom lip. “Even when I had a stank attitude.”
“Girl, your attitude was worse than stank,” I laughed.
“You know I didn’t care too much for men back then,” Taylor smiled.
I jumped in. “Look, I know you still had issues with dad being gone and—”
“And Mom too. I mean, she had her problems for a while until she got right. Let’s be real.”
I had almost forgotten about that. It had been so long ago, I’d almost forgotten how disgusted I was with what my mother had become. I promised myself and Almighty God I’d never be like she was during that time in her life.
It wasn’t that Mama didn’t love us, but she’d always say, “A woman gets lonely sometimes.” Of course, that was just an excuse for the goings-on that happened while my father was away. But man, I always thought she should’ve waited a little longer for male companionship. Don’t get me wrong, Mama never bad-mouthed my father. Nor did she ever bring any man home, but we sure knew she was stepping out with them, whether they were deacons, ministers, or just regular members. Since Mama was the friendly sort, and I guess that’s where I get this from, she definitely went out a lot. She must’ve dated every single, available man at the church or even passing through. That’s probably the reason Sister Winifred still looks at me sideways sometimes. See, all the folk knew Mama was still married to Daddy, even though he left and she’d put that wedding ring away and vowed not to speak his name.
It wasn’t until Mama became for real Holy Ghost-filled and sanctified that her prayers got through. It’s funny that when she stopped stepping out and decided to wait on the Lord, that’s when she didn’t have to wait very long. Daddy came home to stay.
The sight of Taylor lifting herself from the couch jolted me back to the present.
“But guess what? Keith even helped me with my man-hating issues. Even though he’s not a psychiatrist, he’s the first guy I ever trusted. Gotta admit I never thought it would happen to me. Unlike you, I was never the romantic type.” Taylor smiled. “But I guess love has a way of sneaking up on ya.”
Taylor struggled to get to me, using her braces and her walker, and all the strength she had. No matter how strong she tried to be, I still felt so sorry for her.
“You can do it, come on,” I said.
“I want to marry Keith—but free of all this mess I’ve got. I thought God would take it all away.” Tears streamed from her eyes as she began to step forward.
“Alex, help me take off the braces. Let me just use the walker.”
“But, Taylor, I—”
“Please, Alex ...”
I helped her to get out of the braces as she propped her body against the wall. Then as soon as she saw me return to my original position, she took off using her own legs, transferring the bulk of her weight on the walker. Then without warning, her legs gave way and she came crashing down.
I watched my sister’s strong body curled up in a heap on the floor, fighting back tears of vulnerability. I saw the defeat in her eyes as she struggled to get to her feet, and I knew that there was nothing anyone could do or say to help her. I knew that God would have to do a miracle, not of the legs, but of the soul, in order for Taylor to be whole again.
Chapter Thirty-seven
Alex
I longed for the days when I was working at Missionary Bible Institute. At least there were interesting people to talk to, and there was always Marisol to make me laugh. I missed having someone to talk to during the day. I even missed Seger, even though I didn’t dare tell Joshua this. He had a funny way of starting his day at the job by stopping by everyone’s desk with a joke for the day, and he’d always liven things up when things got too boring by starting controversial conversations. Marisol loved his corny jokes, but I loved his momentum. He always knew the right thing to say at the right time. He wasn’t just an admissions director, he was a day-saver I thought to myself. But there was no need thinking about the job when I was no longer allowed to work. I was just stuck in the house with Lilah and the nicely decorated walls of our modern apartment. Sure, Joshua and Taylor would call to check in on me from time to time, but it wasn’t the same. They were both busily working, and I had nothing. There was nothing like face-to-face interaction. Even though I wasn’t the most social person in the world, I missed that.
So, against doctor’s orders, I left that morning about an hour after Joshua went to work. I crept out of bed, took a fast shower, and pulled on a pair of maternity jeans and a big sweatshirt. Then I walked slowly downstairs to the parking garage and found myself in my carnation-pink Pontiac Sunfire. I drove down to the Push It Center. I was starting to love that place almost as much as Taylor did.
“Hi,” I said as I approached my sister.
Taylor reached up from her wheelchair and hugged me. “What are you doing here?”
I twisted my lips. “Wow, I feel really appreciated.”
“You know what I mean.” She looked serious. “You’re supposed to be at home and off your feet.”
“I’m okay, and I’m not going to be here that long,” I said, feeling like a child who had been reprimanded.
I wanted to help Taylor get the center off the ground before the baby came and before I started my graduate courses in the summer. It would be a combination of the new management grand opening and the launch of the young women’s ministry workshops.
Since the Push It Fitness Center was a haven for young women, I knew it was a good idea to have the young women’s workshops held there. The environment went right along with our commitment to women’s health. It was also good for Taylor’s business. Emotional fitness and physical fitness; I knew it was a match made in heaven.
Aunt Dorothy and Sister Trudy were already there volunteering, and everyone questioned my presence. I gave the same response as they each gave me the same suspicious look. Even Marisol called to confirm she would be able to lend a hand since she’d be there that evening for her tai chi class anyway. Keith painted and put up the banner. I put my hands on my hips and smiled, knowing we were almost ready to launch the women’s ministry in its new location. Then I turned and saw him walk in.
“Seger. What are you doing here?”
Taylor rolled by and whispered, “Stalker.”
“I was in the neighborhood. While I was driving by I happened to see your car.”
“And you knew it was mine?” I smiled. “Of course, a pink car stands out in Brooklyn.”
“Anyway, I just thought I’d stop in for a minute and say hello.” Seger tried to give me a hug, but I grabbed his hand and squeezed it instead.
“Oh, well, it’s nice to see you.” I wondered what made this man so bold. Why was he still stopping by even for a minute when it was clear that his presence was causing unnecessary friction? Joshua was stuck at the bank for the next five hours, so I wasn’t worried. But I wished Seger would stop taking chances.
“Is something wrong, Alex?”
“No, not at all. We’re just very busy right now finishing up the final details for this project.”
“That’s great. That’s your dream, right?”
“Right.” I smiled because Seger was always so understanding and attentive to my needs. I remembered discussing my dream with him when we were in Kenya serving.<
br />
“We miss you down at work. In fact, aren’t you supposed to be at home in bed now?”
“Actually, yes. I try to get out at least for a couple of hours per week. Nothing strenuous though. Just overseeing,” I explained.
“I see.”
“I miss you guys too,” I giggled. “Marisol keeps me up on all the goings-on of the office.”
Seger grinned. “You mean the gossip?”
“I try not to go there, but you know Marisol.” I shook my head.
“Yes, I do,” Seger nodded. “She’s got a mouth on her—”
“Right, that’s my girl,” I said.
“Anyway it’s pretty boring there without you.” Seger’s eyes seemed to dance with excitement.
I threw my head back and laughed hard. “Now, I don’t believe that at all. Not with Marisol, Dr. Harding, Professor Daniels, old what’s his name on the harmonica, and—”
“None of them can compare to you.” Seger became serious. “You’re a lot of fun, Alex.”
“Well, thanks, but I won’t be coming back to work. It’ll be too much for me. Besides, Joshua doesn’t want me to work now that I’ll have the baby to take care of, so ...”
“I understand.” Seger began to stare into my eyes, making me uncomfortable.
“I’ll be turning in my formal letter of resignation to Dr. Harding this week.”
“Well, it’s our loss.” He leaned forward, and I could feel the heat of his breath on my face. “Missionary Bible School will have to make do without you.”
“I’m sure you’ll all do just fine,” I said, taking a step backward.
“Anyway, do you need help with anything before I go?”
“Sure. You can take all these boxes of materials and put them into the storage room for me,” I said.
“No problem.” He began carrying boxes from the pile.
Before I could catch my breath, my husband walked in, and what would have been a productive and pleasant day immediately turned sour.
Chapter Thirty-eight
Alex
Count It All Joy Page 19