Count It All Joy
Page 23
“I’m so sorry, Alex,” Joshua said, pulling up a chair to sit down by the bed.
“I am too.” I touched his face and smiled. This certainly was not the neat, pine-scented Joshua that I knew. Regardless of how terrible he looked or smelled, he sure felt good in my arms.
Joshua fell to his knees and kissed my hands. “I love you. I never meant for anything like this to happen.”
“I know that. It’s not your fault,” I said.
“Yes, it is. I should never have left your side. If I hadn’t been such a fool, worrying about Seger, I would’ve been taking care of you. I’m sorry.”
Although I still felt weak, all I wanted to know was if my baby was fine. “How is my baby?”
“He is small, but he is strong.” Joshua swallowed hard. “God made him strong, and He’ll not let us down.”
“You’re right.” I wiped the tears from my eyes.
“Please don’t cry. I’m sorry for all I put you through,” Joshua said.
“It’s okay.”
Joshua wouldn’t let me go. “No, I shouldn’t have put you through this additional drama.”
I must’ve had a confused look on my face because he explained. “First I left you alone because of my own foolish pride, and then I ended up messing up with the bank, losing my job, and then the media, and ... I should’ve known Simon was stealing when I first saw the discrepancy with the numbers.”
“You mean you knew?”
He nodded. “I saw small amounts of money missing. Not more than a couple of thousand in total, and it worried me for a while. But then I listened to Simon and chose to ignore it. Too busy with my own mess. Now I’m paying for it.” Joshua dropped his head.
I felt sorry for him. “They’ll find out the truth.”
“Sure, after my arrest and a long, damaging trial,” he smirked.
“Come on. They’ll know you’re innocent,” I said. “Have they even questioned you?”
Joshua nodded. “Yes, they did on the first week.”
“Well, I’m sure the FBI is doing their thing. No one in their right mind is going to suspect you of embezzlement,” I stated, trying to reassure him.
Joshua let out a deep breath. “Maybe not. But that’s not what they’re saying on the social networks.”
“Oh, no one cares about that nonsense. Did you tell the police about what you saw and about what you told Simon?”
Joshua loosened his grasp on me but still held my hands. “I told them everything.”
I wrapped my fingers around his. “I’m sorry. What can I do to help?”
Joshua kissed me softly on my lips. “Just be yourself, your beautiful self. I missed you so much.”
“Missed me? Why didn’t you come and tell me?”
“I told you I was a fool.” Joshua spoke low, as if he were ashamed. “Then I came by one day, and I saw Seger’s car there, and I—”
“Seger and I were just friends. He was very supportive. Nothing more,” I confirmed.
Joshua looked surprised. “Was?”
“I’ve decided to let that relationship go.”
Joshua smiled. “For me?”
“Yes, for you and for our relationship.” I smiled back.
“I should’ve never left,” he said again.
I tried to sit up in bed, but I was too sore. “You’re right. But I should’ve stopped hounding you about Kiano when I saw you doing the best you could. I should’ve stood behind your vision and trusted God.”
“Okay,” Joshua said, “where did all this come from?”
I looked up to the ceiling. “The same place all your revelations come from. Then I finally calmed down so I could hear a word from God—and it wasn’t necessarily the one I wanted to hear.”
Joshua looked directly into my eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I was too busy doing my own thing and asking God to bless it. That’s something I heard a few months back at the women’s conference, but I wasn’t ready to receive it then. I’ve finally taken a step back and got back into His will. I’m no longer doing my thing or everything; just His thing.”
Joshua asked, “So what exactly does that mean?”
“That means that I’m waiting for the doors to open concerning Kiano’s adoption, and I’m trusting in God to supply all of our needs, and all of Kiano’s needs too.” I kissed Joshua full on the mouth.
He let out a breath of relief. “I’m so glad to hear that.”
At that moment my dad ran into the room smiling. “You two will have plenty of time for that.” He looked around for the remote. “Let’s turn on this television.”
Joshua raised his eyebrows. “Why? What’s going on?”
“You’ll see.” Dad turned the television on and flipped the channels until he stopped at the news.
The breaking story was that Simon had been caught trying to leave the country, and he confessed to embezzling one hundred and eighty thousand dollars from the bank. Although Joshua was the one able to create new loans and adjust amounts in the accounts, Simon also had the authority to create and process certain adjustments. He had been transferring money from fictitious lines of credit to other accounts. Thanks to an anonymous tip, the feds had been checking him out for a while. They found that he had an undisclosed foreign bank account with deposits that matched the amounts of the missing monies. He was being charged with felony counts of bank fraud and embezzlement.
“Hallelujah!” Joshua jumped up from his seat.
“Oh, bless His name,” I said with tears streaming down my face.
“Your sister is here, and she wants to see you,” Dad said.
“Well, let her come in.” I looked toward the door as my dad opened it.
Taylor and Keith came in holding hands.
“Oh, it’s so good to see you two together,” I said. I had hoped that everything would work out for them. With a strong-willed person like Taylor, I just never knew.
“I could say the same thing about you two,” Taylor reached up to grab my hand from her wheelchair.
Keith hugged me very gently, careful not to hurt my sore areas. “Looking good, lady.”
“I’m glad you’re both here,” I smiled.
“Well, I got here as soon as I could. I had to wait for slowpoke here to come by and get me.” Taylor cut her eyes at Keith. “That’s a beautiful baby out there.”
“Thank you, girl.” Now that my sister was there I felt like I was going to cry.
Taylor let out a deep breath. “Whew, you had me a little scared.”
“I guess Josh Jr. was tired of waiting,” I said.
“Got that right,” Joshua smiled proudly.
“Well, we’ve finally set a date,” Taylor announced. “I hope we can put together a cute little wedding in two weeks.”
“Two weeks?” I started to grin, knowing we’d have to hustle to pull it all together.
“Yep,” Keith affirmed.
“That should be more than enough time.” I winked at Taylor. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Congratulations, you two.” Joshua pulled Keith into a quick hug, and then bent down to embrace Taylor.
“Thanks. I guess you two have finally rubbed off on me.” Taylor never looked happier, even in her wheelchair.
Dad shook Keith’s hand. “Welcome to the family, son.”
“Thanks, Mr. Carter, sir,” Keith beamed.
“That really is a beautiful grandson you two gave me out there,” Dad grinned, revealing his perfectly even dentures this time.
“Yep, pretty big too for a preemie,” Keith said.
Joshua and I looked into each other’s eyes and smiled.
“Thanks,” I said to my dad.
“We’ve been blessed.” Joshua again took my hand in his.
Taylor yelled out. “Hey! Isn’t tomorrow your anniversary?”
“Yes, it is. I guess Junior came early so he could celebrate it with us,” Joshua smiled.
A few hours later, Mother Benning came in with Lilah
on her heels. Lilah ran toward me and fell into my arms, pressing me into my pillow.
“Mommy, Mommy,” she cried. Every part of my midsection ached, but I was so surprised I didn’t dare stop her.
“I missed you so much, Mommy,” Lilah said, never loosening her arms from my neck.
I looked at Joshua, and he smiled at me. “I missed you too, baby doll.”
My heart fluttered with hearing that word—“Mommy.” After all these months, she finally called me Mommy. I wiped a tear away before anyone saw it. From our wedding day all the way up to this moment, she’d called me Sister Alex, and then Mother Alex when she was reprimanded. After not seeing her for several weeks, when I least expected it, she blessed me with that one word. It was like music to my ears. Nothing could’ve been sweeter than hearing Lilah call me Mommy. I guessed I finally earned it.
Later, when I went to the nursery, I looked at my baby sleeping in his incubator, and I was happy.
Mama always talked to Taylor and me about faith. Sometimes she’d wrap her wide arms around us and hold us close and read the scriptures to us, word for word. But other times, she’d just sit one of us on each knee and talk to us about her life. She’d tell us how Jesus brought her a mighty long way, and that even though she didn’t know where our father was at the time, she trusted God to change him and bring him home. Now that was big faith because in all the years of my growing up, I don’t remember my daddy ever staying in one place too long. Yes, Mama had faith, and she spoke it over, and into, her girls’ lives. I finally understood it and embraced it.
Some people have asked what joy is. I said it was a peace in your spirit, coming from the inside but spilling over on to the outside. Sometimes joy looked like it came in stages—a miracle here or deliverance there, but real joy was constant. It was faith in God’s Word, His will, and His way. There was no doubt in my mind what I knew about joy. I guessed it was God speaking it to me Himself, but I knew what joy was supposed to be. Just never quite got it ’til now. Just couldn’t truly feel it ’til now. Lack of understanding, I imagined. It was like that at times—I just didn’t know enough to bring myself out. Then I realized I had to go back and fill up on more—more of God, that is. He was the only one I needed when it came to real joy.
Epilogue
Alex
Of course, Taylor and Keith became an old married couple, with the two of them working at the Push It Fitness Center and making it truly the best gym in the city. Me and the ladies of Giving Life Ministry met at the center twice a week. Taylor never gave up hope for her healing.
She just didn’t put God on a timetable, deciding that she and Keith were good together whether or not she could walk on her own.
Joshua and Mother Benning finally came to a compromise. Joshua agreed he would be the interim assistant pastor at Kingdom House for at least a year. This would allow Bishop Benning to fully recuperate since his cancer was in remission. It would also allow his parents time to select a suitable person to serve as senior pastor.
Even though the embezzlement scandal was over and he was offered his old job back, Joshua declined to return to the bank.
After much prayer and meditation, we decided it was time to step out in faith and go into full-time ministry.
After a few months, with the salary he made as assistant pastor at Kingdom House, we were able to pay off all our debts and make a decent down payment on an old apartment building in lower Manhattan. We were also able to move into a three-bedroom apartment on the fourth floor, rent out two apartments on the third floor, and start to renovate the first and second floors for the church. Now there would really be room for Giving Life Ministry as soon as that part of the building was fixed up. I was excited about working on that.
With the additional income from the tenants, I was able to stay at home with Lilah and Joshua Jr., and I was finally “Mommy.” The best part was that we were able to adopt Kiano about ten months later. We spent a few months in Kenya with Kiano, finalized everything, and brought him back with us. As it turned out, the orphanage received much-needed funding from a British missionary group and was never demolished. So the Mercy Group Home in Kenya continued to do God’s will, which was to take care of His children.
Joshua, Lilah, Joshua Jr., Kiano, and I were finally a real family, dancing in God’s goodness, living, forgiving, and counting it all joy.
Reading Group Discussion Questions
1. Why was Alex afraid of trying to have Joshua’s baby?
2. Why was Joshua adamant about having a baby, specifically a son, so soon?
3. Do you think their trying to have a baby so soon was a healthy way to begin their marriage? Why or why not?
4. Do you think it was right for Alex to pressure her husband about Kiano’s adoption?
5. How do you think Alex should have handled the adoption issue differently?
6. Why do you think Lilah refused to call Alex “Mommy”?
7. Why do you think Joshua was not suspicious of Simon when he first discovered the missing money?
8. Why couldn’t Taylor just marry her true love, Keith, from the beginning?
9. Do you think that Seger was in love with Alex, or was he just being friendly?
10. Do you think Alex’s relationship with Seger was emotional adultery? Why or why not?
11. Do you think Joshua was compromising by being the interim assistant pastor at Kingdom House of Prayer?
12. Do you think Mother Benning was right to push her son into pastoring at Kingdom House of Prayer?
Urban Books, LLC
78 East Industry Court
Deer Park, NY 11729
Count It All Joy Copyright © 2011 Ashea S. Goldson
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without prior consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
ISBN: 978-1-5998-3232-6
This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual events, real people, living, or dead, or to real locales are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places, and incidents is entirely coincidental.
Distributed by Kensington Corp.
Submit Wholesale Orders to:
Kensington Publishing Corp.
C/O Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
Attention: Order Processing
405 Murray Hill Parkway
East Rutherford, NJ 07073-2316
Phone: 1-800-526-0275
Fax: 1-800-227-9604