Dirty Passions

by Wright, Kenya

  “It would not have been many.”

  I wrenched his hand away and backed up. “One would be too many.”

  Kaz walked over to the model of Paris, stopped near, and studied it. “No one was harmed.”

  “You don’t believe that.”

  He slammed his foot on the model’s table. “I don’t care!”

  The Eiffel Tower fell on its side.

  I trembled, scared that I wouldn’t be able to get through to him and terrified of the man that I had given my heart. “Listen to me. Move the bombs from the Eiffel tower and wherever else you have them. Stop this now!”

  “I will not.” He leaned on the edge of table and placed his hands in his pockets. “Go back to sleep, mysh. There’s no stopping this. It’s war.”

  “Fuck you, Kaz. It’s not war and I’m not going to sleep like a good little girl.”

  “It’s war.”

  I marched over to the table that he leaned on. Kaz moved away. I gripped the edge, put all of my weight on it, and flipped the model over. Everything crashed to the floor—Notre Dame and the blue glitter of the Seine. The Louvre fell on a pile of plastic trees.

  I’ll have that model back up in seconds.” Kaz displayed a wicked smile. “And even if that model was gone, I know what I want bombed, and that’s all of Paris.”

  “I won’t stand with you if you do this.” Pissed, I jabbed his chest with my finger. “I won’t be by your side.”

  He caught my hand and yanked me to him. “You will be by my side because I will not let you leave me.”

  The truth sounded bitter leaving his mouth.

  I took my hand away and edged back.

  Silence thickened within the violent air.

  In this moment, a wall rose between us, separating everything that I had loved about us. And it was built by an army of pain. And it wouldn’t come down any time soon. And I was starting to forget how I loved him in the first place. With his need to bomb France, the wall would only grow in size. And I felt like I could do absolutely nothing to stop it.

  His voice softened. “Go to sleep, mysh.”

  “I won’t goddamn it. And I will not stand by your side, if you continue to do this. You think I’ll be fine with the bombing? I don’t care how sad you are about losing our child. You don’t get to do this!”

  “Do you have any idea who you fell in love with?” He gave me an intense stare. “I thought you knew.”

  I blinked. “Stop.”

  “Go to bed. Get some rest.”

  “You’re going to bomb some more?”

  “I will. Fuck your friend.”

  My head throbbed in pain as I whispered, “Then, we’re done.”

  “Excuse me?” He tried to close the distance between us.

  I stepped back. “We’re done.”

  He leaned his head to the side. “You still think leaving me is an option? Do you not see the hole on the screen? Maybe, you should turn around and have a look.”

  “Not another bomb and no war. You can go after Jean-Pierre and his men. I don’t care about them solely being your target, but I won’t stand next to you while you destroy a whole city.”

  “We’re not done, and you don’t decide how I deal with this.”

  I glared at him.

  He met my angry stare.

  A knock came.

  I heard the door open. I didn’t even turn around.

  Zahkar’s voice sounded next. “I’m sorry, but the window for the Eiffel Tower is now. The anti-terror police is now scattering all over Paris.”

  Kaz looked past me. “Tell them to be ready in five minutes.”

  That’s it.

  More tears fell on my face. I wiped them away and stormed off.

  Kaz yelled after me. “We’re not done talking, mysh!”

  “We are! We’re done talking and we’re done period.” I shoved past Zahkar. When I got to the hallway, I pointed at Max and Boris. “Let’s go!”

  Max gestured to the masked man as he still held the chained leash. “Do you want me to bring dude with us?”

  “No leave the Devil here.”

  Max gave his chained leash to David and hurried to my side.

  I headed off, still in aching and sore, but ready to get out there.

  Boris got in front of me. “Where are we going?”

  “I don’t fucking know.” More tears left my eyes. “New York maybe. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

  I felt like a fucking baby. I needed Xavier. I missed Kennedy. Both were people I could run to. X would have especially helped me make sense of this.

  Max cleared his throat. “Wait what? New York?”

  Kaz’s voice rose in the hallway. “Mysh?!”

  I didn’t look back, I knew if I did that it would be hard to walk away. “Fuck you! You want a war then have it! Enjoy it! But do it without me!”

  “Yo,” Max muttered. “This shit is intense. Maybe, we should just. . .get you both a counselor or something.”

  A counselor wouldn’t stop the bombing. I hoped my leaving would. Although fear told me that this could be the last time I saw Kaz again. But what else could I do? He wasn’t being open to any words or logic. I couldn’t beat him up or his men, not with my injuries and pain. Maybe he would change his mind if I walked away. . . if I could even do that.

  I hadn’t thought any of this through. Earlier, I had left the bedroom to enjoy his comfort, not fight and walk away. Not see him bomb a whole city.

  “So, Em,” Maxwell spoke when we hit the bottom of the stairs. “You think the lion is going to let us walk out the house?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Hmmm.”

  “You don’t think so?”

  “The odds are fifty-fifty, but there’s no way we’re getting to New York.”

  Boris spoke up, “I can get all of our people to make sure we get out of here.”

  “All of her people won’t help, if Kaz and his men come against us.” Maxwell stretched his neck. “I watched him in Paris. Let’s just hope for the best.”

  “Boris.” I rubbed my eyes. “Call Blue. Tell her that it’s been a change of plans. Have everybody get ready to leave.”

  “Okay.” Boris took out his phone.

  We hit the kitchen.

  “This mouse is back.” Baba remained at the table sipping from her cup. “You should take your tea. It’s good for the baby.”

  Shaking my head, I hurried out of there.

  “I see you met Baba,” Maxwell said.

  “She’s crazy.”

  “I like her. She smokes.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Smoking weed isn’t a sign of whether a person is cool or not.”

  “It is for me. Certain type of people smoke ganja, and they always tend to be a gentle bunch.”

  “Whatever.”

  We made it to the other set of stairs.

  I’m really leaving?

  My nerves flared on edge.

  “You’re slow as fuck right now,” Maxwell said. “Let me pick you up.”

  “Don’t even think about it.” Step by step, I ignored him and took my time going up.

  “Uh.” Boris glanced over his shoulder. “Kazimir is behind us.”

  Dread filled me.

  “Of course he is.” Maxwell shook his head. “From Saint Petersburg to Paris and now in Moscow, this has got to be the craziest month of my life. All I want to do is smoke a joint and get my dick sucked. I’m not trying to get shot today.”

  “Max, just go and meet me at my building.” I eased up another set of steps. “I’ll deal with Kaz. Make sure everyone knows that we’re going. I’m taking all my guns.”

  Max sucked his teeth. “Man, I’m not leaving you alone with him. Boris, you go to the building. Get her people and weapons. We’ll figure out what to do after that.”

  Boris went the other way.

  Max and I continued up the stairs and headed to the bedroom. I didn’t look behind me, but I could feel Kaz in the area, sucking up all the space with hi
s rage and power.

  When I got to the bedroom, I opened the door.

  Kazimir growled behind me. “Maxwell, wait out here. I want to talk to her alone.”

  Of course you do.

  Groaning, I limped over to my drawer. Exhausted, I decided to grab a few change of clothes. Jeans shirts, underwear bra, and socks. No need for a dress or suit. I had no idea where I would go, but it wouldn’t be the sort of places Kaz had been taking me. Truthfully all I wanted to do was stay here, lay in bed, and put a pillow over my head.

  But the lion wants to bomb shit.

  The door slammed close.

  Kaz must’ve entered.

  I jumped a little but kept on grabbing things. When I snatched up enough stuff in my arms, I placed them on the bed and took my time getting to the closet.

  Kazimir stood by the closet door. “Where are you going?”

  “To a non-bombing house.” I walked past him, entered the walk-in closet, and wrenched my jacket off a hanger.

  “You think it will be that easy to leave me?”

  “I think you better not get in my way.”

  He snorted.

  Putting my jacket over my pajamas, I whispered goodbye to all my wigs. There was no way I could bring them with me.

  I’ll be back for you all, ladies. Don’t worry about that.

  I pulled out a small bag in the corner, left the closet, and looked at him. “Did you bomb anything else?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Asshole.” I dragged the wheeled bag to the bed, opened it, and slung clothes inside.

  “You should be in bed, healing. This is a waste of time.”

  “What is?”

  “Packing.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I won’t let you leave.”

  “If you want dead Russians littering your city, then go ahead and try to stop me.” I zipped up my bag. “I told you what would make me stay. Do you remember? That’s you getting rid of the damn bombs. If you want to be stubborn—”

  “Stubborn?”

  “And fucking. . .”

  “What?”

  I shook my hands in the air. “I don’t know I’m pissed and tired and in pain.”

  His face went sad. “I’m sorry.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “I’m not sorry about the bomb, but I don’t want you upset.”

  “I’m upset because of the bomb.” I sat on the bed and put on my sneakers. I had no time to change out of my pajamas and put on regular clothes, not with Kaz brooding and standing near.

  He raked his fingers through his hair “Don’t go. I can’t un-bomb the place now.”

  “Yeah. That’s why you shouldn’t do it in the first place.”

  “I don’t like it, when we argue.”

  “Then don’t put holes in cities.” Gazing up at him, I took in a deep breath. “Kaz. . .are you done?”

  He scowled.

  “End the war, please. Kaz. . .don’t do this because of me.”

  “If I don’t act with force, then any idiot with a group of men and guns will come for you. And next time we may not be so lucky.”

  “I won’t get kidnapped again.”

  He tilted his head to the side. “You can guarantee that?”

  “I can.”

  “Then, you haven’t been paying attention to my world at all.”

  “You want war with Jean-Pierre? Fine, but leave France alone.”

  “Maybe, I’ll compromise. I won’t bomb most of France, but I will destroy Paris and Nice.”

  “Excuse me? That’s crazy. Your beef is with Jean-Pierre and his cousins not the citizens there.”

  Kaz walked over to the bedroom door and leaned against the wall. “I told you that I would destroy the world if it calmed you. Did you doubt me?”

  “Well, clearly now I don’t doubt you. But, guess what? I’m calm. End this.”

  “I’m sorry, but I won’t stop. Just give it time. You’ll understand eventually.”

  “I’m not giving it time.” I placed the bag on the floor and was happy it had wheels. “I’ll send my men for the rest of my things.”

  “Oh, will you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Hmmm.”

  “And you won’t touch them.”

  He continued to lean near the door but wasn’t directly in the way of me leaving. “You’re simply exhausting yourself today.”

  I opened the door.

  He shut it.

  I stepped back. “Don’t play with me.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Probably home.”

  He widened his eyes. “New York?”

  I rested my hand on my hip. “Maybe, I’ll go to New York. Either way, I’m leaving Moscow.”

  “Why?”

  “It reminds me too much of you.”

  Sighing, he rolled his shoulders “I don’t understand.”

  “I don’t have time to help you.”

  “This is what confuses me.” He stopped leaning on the wall and towered over me. “How are you leaving Moscow? On what plane? What airport would let that happen? What train would let you board? I’ll lock down this entire city. Block every exit. Every border. Don’t make me cage you here. I know you don’t like to be trapped.”

  “You’re going to bomb airports and trains now?”

  “No. It would just take a phone call.”

  I met his glare. “If you want me by your side, then you better put your temper in check. Be normal like a regular person. Write your feelings in a journal. Hit a punching bag, but what you don’t do is bomb a city.”

  He loomed closer. “If you think that I will lay in bed alone without you, then you haven’t been paying attention. If you believe that I will reach across the sheets for you and only touch empty space, then you’re not as smart as I thought.”

  “I guess not.”

  The door opened.

  This time Max entered with a gun in his hand, but he kept it at his side.

  Unperturbed, Kaz glanced at the gun and then back at me. “You really think you can leave me?”

  “Yes.”

  “How about this? I’ll let you leave the house.”

  I rolled my eyes. “That’s smart of you.”

  “But leaving the city? No.” Kaz's brows furrowed and for the briefest of moments a mixture of anger and pain flickered in his eyes. “Find a nice place in Moscow that I approve of and you can blow off steam.”

  “You cocky basterd. You don’t tell me how I’m going to calm down, when you’re the motherfucker that’s tripping.”

  Maxwell cleared his throat. “Perhaps, we could get a nice relationship counselor in here—”

  “Please take my bag, Max. We’re leaving.”

  “Alright then.” Max grabbed the luggage handle and kept the door open. Meanwhile that gun remained in his hand.

  Kaz wore a wicked smirk. “I like the Omni hotel. Just the right amount of luxury. Good security since the brotherhood owns it. Stay there for this evening. I’ll have Zahkar make the arrangements.”

  “You don’t tell me where I’m going.”

  “I do.”

  “No you fucking don’t. Especially, when I can’t tell you what to do.”

  “You can, just not when it comes to how I deal with Jean-Pierre.”

  “Have a nice war, Kaz.” I headed out with a little limp. I had no idea why my leg decided to start acting up. Either way, my limping away in blue pajamas wasn’t the best impression of bad assedness, when I left him.

  “I’ll see you later,” Kaz called back.

  “You won’t. Not if you set off another bomb.” And then I headed down those stairs. I didn’t look back. To look behind me would be to hurt myself. It would be like Lot’s wife. I would turn into a statue and never leave.

  We made it to the bottom level. Boris held that dumb ass glass jar of tea that Baba had been trying to give me. She must’ve gave it to him while I was upstairs arguing with Kaz.

  Boris gri
pped the jar. “Our people are at the building. We’ve got some vans and cars. I don’t know if we can use them now.”

  “Those are my vans. Load them up.”

  “But you bought those with the lion’s money,” Maxwell added

  “We’ll see, if he stops us from taking them. Now it’s just time to leave.”

  Boris showed the jar to me. “Baba wanted you to have this for the baby.”

  Jesus Christ. I can’t with this woman.

  I limped away. “We’re going to New York.”

  Max shook his head. “We can’t go to New York. The Tinder Killer stuff.”

  “Then, maybe Saint Petersburg.” I shrugged, trying not to drown in sadness. “We have to go somewhere. If I don’t leave, then he may not stop this.”

  We headed out of the house.

  Cold air hit my face.

  Am I really doing this?

  Blue stood out by the building with sixty of my people.

  How the hell was I going to take care of everybody? I had money but how long could I manage and take care of them? We would need to get some jobs and hustles going. I had no idea who had a passport and who didn’t. Many had gone to Paris, but did they do it the legal way. I wasn’t even sure, if I could leave Russia on my own. Wasn’t the FBI still suspicious of me for the murders back home?

  I stopped in front of the building and turned to Maxwell. “What do you think?”

  He studied me. “You should have changed out of those pajamas.”

  I frowned. “What else?”

  “You don’t really want to leave him.”

  I looked away. “I don’t.”

  “But this is an ultimatum. You’ve got to carry it out.”

  “It’s not an ultimatum. If he sets off another bomb, I can’t be with him. You get that?”

  “I do. It’s still an ultimatum though.”

  “Fine. But, what the fuck do I do, Max?”

  “You know I’m shitty when it comes to relationships. I don’t know why everyone keeps asking me for advice.”

  “We should at least leave the city.”

  “But you can’t take all of these people. Grab a small group. The rest need to go back to their neighborhood and make some money.”

  “That’s fair.” Boris nodded. “You already helped us get a few tasks together. A few are selling arms on one section. We’re smuggling stolen goods on another side. Small black market stuff, but everyone is eating a little more in Kapotnya. You did a lot. You don’t have to take care of us.”