Losing Control (Losing Control Series Book 1)

by Wilder, Desiree

  “Oh, Ethan, get out of here before Don catches you trying to get me in the sack!” She smacked me on the arm, laughing.

  “Let’s get some lunch before it’s dinner time,” Trey said as we hopped back in the truck. “The place is filling up and I think everything is under control for now.”

  “Okay,” I said, “but stop and trade the truck for the golf cart, we shouldn’t need to leave the arena anymore today.”

  ***

  We hopped on the golf cart and headed over to the sub shop. After we ordered, Trey noticed something wasn’t right with one of the huge banners in front of the stage, so he took the cart over to fix it. He was such a perfectionist sometimes, like he couldn’t have eaten first. Speaking of perfection, I used this moment alone to recall another memory. The second time I saw her was a couple of months after the first. She was shopping right over here in this souvenir shop. I was bringing some change over and about tripped when I saw her. She was the girl from the c-store, the one that I had thought about so many times, the one that made me want to be a better person, just from watching her for ten minutes! She was looking through the racks of shirts, talking on her cell phone. She said something about having had a great time at the concert the night before, not to worry about her, she was fine, of course she would be at dinner tomorrow, and then, ‘love you, too, Dad,’ before she hung up. I wasn’t spying or anything, I just happened to have heard her lovely voice and couldn’t stop listening. I gave the change to the cashier and went back out. Well, here was my chance to meet her, I would wait until she came out and then what would I say? Shit, here she comes and I haven’t even made a plan yet, and then I saw it. She had a wedding ring on. Of course! Why would I have doubted that? She was so beautiful, I would recognize her in a second even though I had only seen her once before. She had a light around her, a peacefulness about her, and now the voice of an angel. Since she had a ring on, I couldn’t think of anything to say fast enough to catch her, so I had to watch her walk away. She had a Red Hot Chili Peppers shirt on, so I named her Hotness.

  “You look miles away,” Trey commented as he came back to eat his sandwich. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, just the usual daydream about a life I’ve never known.” Trey and I talked a lot about women and relationships, I had even confided in him about Hotness.

  “Man, if she’s here this year, I don’t care if she’s remarried or with some guy or what, you’re going to meet her! You’ve seen her, I don’t know, over a dozen times in the last ten years, and never spoke a word to her—it’s ridiculous! You know that, too, don’t you?” He sounded irritated.

  He was right—of course I knew it. But I think it was easier to fantasize about who I thought she was. She was mysterious and captivating and wonderful in my mind. And as busy as I was and as lonely as I got, she was always there smiling and lighting up everyone around her. I knew it sounded stupid to Trey, but it made perfect sense to me. However, Trey was right about one thing, I did need to meet her, and if she was here this weekend, I would.

  Trey changed the subject. “How’s Shelley? Is she still seeing that cop?”

  Shelley was one of my best bartenders. She and I had a ‘friends with benefits’ thing going on for about five years. She’d call when she was lonely, usually ended up spending the night, snuck out in the morning, and we’d act like nothing was going on between us in the light of day.

  “I don’t know,” I told him. “I told her I was done with her when I found out she was cheating on him with me and she hasn’t called since. I mean, we were never exclusive, we slept with other people, but I’m not into the sleeping with other people when they’re in a relationship with someone, ya know?”

  Trey nodded. “That’s fucked up. Well, I hope your little Hotness is here this weekend because you’re about to drive me nuts with all this shit. Now that you have the place running like you want it to and you have more time on your hands, you need to ask her out, take her on a real date. How long’s it been since you’ve done that? Yeah, that’s what I thought. You don’t even remember. Find out what she’s like and then you can either live happily ever after or move the fuck on.” He wadded up his garbage and stood up.

  “You’re right. Next time I see her, I’m not letting her out of my sight.” Of course, I’d thought this to myself before. The year before last when she was here with her husband, I saw her standing in the back watching a concert. He was next to her, but they weren’t touching and the light that normally surrounded her was gone. What did that bastard do to her? I worried about her. But then last year I saw her on the video surveillance with her girlfriends and she was shining again. I looked closely and saw that she wasn’t wearing a ring anymore! Yes, finally! I headed straight over to where they were, but by the time I got there, she was gone. Two hours later, after the concert, I saw her on the shuttle sitting on some guy’s lap. Trey was right about another thing. I didn’t care if she was remarried, with some guy, or what—all I needed was five minutes to talk to her and I’d know.

  “Good. I just can’t stand to see you like this, buddy.” He was less irritated.

  Chapter 6

  By now the bartenders were starting to head to their stations. Vince had texted me that the first two bands of the night were already here and we could see the lines of people coming in.

  “Looks like it’s gonna be packed tonight,” I told Trey. “We’d better start our rounds.”

  Trey and I always made our way around the entire arena, stopping at every bar and shop, making sure everyone had what they needed and were rolling. Sometimes we each started at separate ends and met in the middle, but today we had an early start, so we decided to stick together. The first few bars we stopped at were just opening up, so we helped the girls get situated, visited for awhile, and moved on. The next ones were all running smoothly, most had at least one girl who’d worked here before, so she knew what she was doing and could help the other if she needed to. “Wow, rounds have never been that quick before,” Trey said as we got back to the golf cart.

  I looked at my phone, it was 5:00 p.m. “You ain’t kidding,” I said. “Two hours is at least half what it usually takes. Let’s grab a beer.” I was proud that we’d taken care of everything so early. Of course, I knew a lot of it had to do with the great staff I had this year and everyone working as a team.

  “All right!” Trey said, surprised. We never got to do that, especially on opening night.

  We jumped on the golf cart and headed out the main gate. We stopped and talked to Mike, head of security, for a minute. “Hey, Mike, did Marcus let you in on the incident at the campground last night?” I was sure he probably had.

  “Yes, and I let all my guys know. A couple of them went over and got a look, they seemed pretty harmless today. We don’t anticipate anything more from them, but at least we all know they may need to be watched a little closer.” Mike was always business, so I didn’t do my usual joking around with him.

  “Thanks, Mike,” I said and we headed to my place.

  I grabbed a couple of beers out of the fridge and we sat on the porch, watching the lines coming into the campground and the arena. “I could get used to this,” I told Trey.

  “No kidding, man. This is the life. We’re usually in shit up to our eyeballs about this time on opening night, but here we are, watching the money roll in.” He held his beer up and I smacked it with mine. “Cheers, man.”

  “Cheers,” I said. “We wouldn’t even be sitting here right now if it weren’t for you, bro, and without getting all mushy and crap, I have to thank you for that.” He hated when I brought up the fact that I thought about giving up and he talked me out of it. He says I never would’ve actually gone through with it.

  “Don’t even start that shit with me, you know who made this all happen? You. No one but you. Nineteen years of your blood, sweat, and tears. And don’t forget that. I’m just happy to be a part of this now, sitting here with you watching it finally start to pay off.” He was smil
ing at me like a proud dad, he was genuinely happy for me.

  “Let’s have another one,” I said as I headed for the fridge. I wasn’t a heavy drinker and usually didn’t drink at all on opening night, but tonight was an exception, tonight was a celebration. Plus, I needed a little liquid confidence if I happened to see Hotness tonight. I had to talk to her, face to face, I had to know.

  We sat on the porch drinking our beer, relaxing. We knew shit could hit the fan any second. I definitely wouldn’t have another beer, just in case we had big problems, but I really didn’t foresee anything my staff couldn’t handle and that was such a great feeling.

  After we finished, we walked over to the main gate and visited with a few people we saw coming in. I always liked to hear how far people had come to be here, how many times they’d been here, and what their experience had been. It was interesting and helped me decide what to change or what needed work.

  We stopped by the ticket counters. People could either get a one day pass or an all weekend pass. Most bought them in advance online, printed out the confirmation tickets, and traded them in for wrist bands here, so we already knew we had record breaking pre-sales, but I wanted to check and see how many were buying day-of-show passes. Looked like we may break records with that, too. The concerts started in two hours, so this would be our busiest time, getting people shuttled over here and through the ticket booths. “Call me if you need help getting the crowd through,” I told them. I liked to help wherever I was needed.

  Trey and I decided, since we had time, we would help relieve staff for breaks if they wanted them. They had a long, busy night ahead and I wanted everyone to be on their A-game. We split up and figured we’d meet back in a couple of hours when the concert started.

  I liked filling in temporarily for the barbacks and the bartenders. You could get a good idea on how much people were drinking, if they were having fun, just the whole vibe of it all. Most everyone took advantage of their break, went to the bathroom, smoked a cigarette, made a phone call, whatever—it gave them a little refresher before they got slammed. These people worked their asses off, but they also made a pile of tips, so that was why they did it, and I was sure glad they did!

  I heard the announcer up on stage, the crowd was roaring. He introduced the first band and we were off and running! I had one more bar to relieve and then I’d meet Trey.

  As I was waiting for the last barback to return from his break, the band started playing one of my favorite songs. I hoped he would get back soon so I could get out there and see them perform some of it. Just then I noticed some commotion in one of the beer lines. I leaned up to get a closer look and that’s when I saw her—Hotness and her friend singing and dancing in the beer line! I just stared.

  I couldn’t look away, there she was, right in front of me, getting closer with every sale, and I just stood there staring at her and smiling. Finally, she saw me, then she looked away and looked around her. What was she looking for? Did she have a guy with her? Please don’t have a guy with you! Then she looked back at me. I was still staring and smiling. She must think I’m a complete moron. Our eyes were locked and she had the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen! I couldn’t look away. What am I going to say to her?

  “Ethan, could you grab me some ice?” Tina asked, and it took everything I had to look away from Hotness and get some for her. Say something, I told myself as her friend ordered their beer.

  “I got those,” I blurted, because it was all I could think of. Our eyes locked again and I got a rush of warmth throughout my body. Her eyes were so captivating.

  “That’s really nice of you, but you’re gonna be broke by the end of the night if you’re this generous to all the girls,” Hotness said. It made Tina giggle.

  “I’ll take my chances,” I said. “Besides, that’s the only round I’ve offered to get so far tonight, so I think I’ll be okay.” And that was the truth. Did she think I just ran around here and bought drinks for thousands of girls?

  Hotness asked, “And why are we so deserving of your generosity?” Oh, she was good. She was making me work for this. So I told her the truth.

  “Well, what kind of guy would I be if I didn’t buy the girl with the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen a beer?” Everyone looked at her. I think I embarrassed her. Oh, good one, Ethan, I thought, now she thinks you’re a dick. She looked away from me. No! Don’t look away! I thought

  “Thank you, that’s really sweet,” Hotness said. At least she thought I was sweet. That was good, right?

  “You’re welcome, enjoy,” I said as Trey came over my walkie. He needed help by the bathrooms with two guys fighting. Shit, I had to get over there. I smiled at Hotness. She was so breathtaking. Then I ran off.

  Why did this fight have to happen right now? I could be back there staring into those eyes. Oh, those eyes, I could get lost in them. She’d never looked at me before, I never knew they existed until now, and I needed to be in those eyes again. I’d find her later, I was so relieved she was here, and I didn’t think she had a guy with her. I was still smiling.

  ***

  “She’s here,” I said to Trey who was holding a guy in a choke-hold by the fence.

  “What? Who?” he said, gasping. He was totally out of breath.

  “Hotness. What do you mean, who?” I said, irritated by his lack of interest.

  “A little help would be nice here!” He was pissed, so I grabbed the fighter and held onto him, letting Trey catch his breath.

  “Did you hear me?” I said, still annoyed. “She had a purple wrist band on, too! She’ll be here all weekend. You have to help me find her!” I was excited now, my adrenaline was pumping.

  Security showed up and took the fighter off our hands. “Good job, guys,” I told them.

  “I’m glad she’s here, but I almost got my ass kicked by that dude, and we’ve got another situation to take care of, so you’re gonna have to suck it up for a bit.” He hopped on the golf cart. “Let’s go!”

  “What’s going on?” I thought everything was running so smooth tonight.

  “While I was waiting for you to finish up at that last bar, I decided to go get the cart so we could drive through the campground and check it out. When I was driving back over here to get you, I saw the fight, alerted you and broke it up. While I’m holding the dude, right before you showed up, Don messaged me.” My heart sank. “He said to get you and come over to his and Rose’s place.”

  We drove in silence. I was praying that Rose was okay. What had happened? Did she overdo it like she promised me she wouldn’t? Dammit! I should’ve insisted that she let me hire her some help. What would I do without Rose? I couldn’t bear the thought of it.

  When we pulled up, everything looked normal. I jumped off the cart before Trey even stopped it and ran to the front door.,

  Rose opened it. She had a huge smile until she saw me. “What’s wrong, Ethan?” she said, panic in her voice.

  “Is everything okay? Where’s Don?” I was confused.

  “Everything’s fine.” I saw Don come out of the kitchen. I could breathe again. What the hell was going on?

  “Oh good, Ethan, you’re here,” Don said. “I asked Trey to bring you over so Rose could tell you the good news.” He looked at Rose.

  “Ethan, we sold out for the whole weekend. The campground is to capacity and all concerts, too! When you revamped everything, adding on so much here and there, and everyone thought you were crazy, including us, no one ever thought you would fill this place up, but you’ve done it, you’ve really done it!” Don shook my hand and Rose gave me a big hug. “We are so proud of you!”

  “I thought something had happened to you!” I blurted. I thought I might cry I was so relieved. I sat down and put my head in my hands.

  “Sorry, guys. I assumed something was wrong when Don asked me to get Ethan and come over.” Trey had come in and heard everything. “Just give him a couple minutes to get his heart pumping again and let the news soak in. He’ll be all right.�
�� He patted me on the shoulder.

  I looked up at all of them after I’d done exactly what Trey said I was gonna do. “Thank you all. Not only could I not do it without you, but I wouldn’t want to do it without you. I love you guys.” A tear rolled down my cheek, which was pretty rare for me. But I’d had a pretty emotional last hour. Hotness popped into my head and I smiled.

  “We love you too, dear.” Rose hugged me again. “So sorry for the misunderstanding.”

  “It’s all good,” I said, and it was.

  Trey and I headed back over to my place. We had a woman to find!

  ***

  “Why don’t we just sit outside the gate? You know she’s gonna take the shuttle back to the campground,” Trey said as we were trying to figure out where to start.

  “That’s a good idea. I just wanted to find her sooner than that, there’s at least another hour left of the concert.”

  “You’ve waited ten years, buddy, I don’t think another hour is gonna kill ya.” Trey was right, I’d meet her when she came out of the gate. Now I just had to decide what I was gonna say to her. I didn’t want to freak her out or make her think I was a stalker. She did say what I said was ‘sweet,’ that was promising. I tried to remember our entire conversation, exactly what was said, but all I could think about were those eyes, those beautiful eyes.

  It seemed like an eternity, but the concert was finally over. We watched as thousands of people came out the gate and got on shuttles. Trey didn’t know what she looked like. I tried to explain her to him, I remembered exactly what she was wearing, but most people were dressed similar to her, so that was hard to distinguish. I told him just look for an AC/DC shirt and a beautiful-eyed Hotness. I watched and watched, but never saw her, the crowd was massive at times, and although I thought I could spot her a mile away, I never did. I was bummed. Trey and I sat on the tailgate of the truck and I thought of what my next move would be. How would I find her tomorrow? Then, I saw her…