Savior: A Tattered Club Story (Tattered Social Club Series Book 1)

by Allan, Pauline

  Ethan snickered and whispered, “Cleaning up, all right. You’ve got some of my cum on your shirt. I guess I filled your mouth pretty good.”

  Niko dipped his chin and saw the white blob. Today he’d worn a black dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. For some fucking reason he’d hoped Ethan would like it. “Shit,” he grumbled and started unbuttoning the shirt. Thank God he wore a white tank top underneath.

  Ethan tucked his dick back into his underwear and zipped his cargo shorts. “You’re so sexy, Niko. I want to lick every tattoo. Even with that oh-crap face, you’re still adorable.”

  Niko looked up. Most people stared at his ink and quickly looked away. Not even the women he’d been with had wanted to lick his ink. They all wanted to lick his dick, but he wasn’t down for that. Ethan was the first person to wrap his lips around his cock since the guy in the bathroom.

  When Ethan righted the hem of his snug T-shirt, Niko reached over and grabbed his hand. “I can’t be your boyfriend. I can…I can be something else. I have no idea what, but I can be this.” He leaned down to make up the difference in their heights and pressed his sticky lips against Ethan’s soft mouth.

  Ethan drew his arms around Niko’s neck, instantly making the tension in his gut still. “Friends with benefits, then.” Ethan curled his lips up, but it wasn’t a genuine smile. Ethan wanted more, and he felt like a total douche asking for something physical with no attachments. He wasn’t built for the whole relationship thing.

  “I’ll just find a boyfriend for the emotional stuff. Maybe he could join in sometimes.”

  Niko fisted the sides of Ethan’s T-shirt. “Like fuck you will. This arrangement is you and me. Got it? No fucking boyfriends.” Niko hated the way the smile faded and a genuine one bloomed. “What are you smiling about?”

  Ethan peppered soft kisses along the shades of grey-and-white sand trickling down his hourglass tattoo. “I want to kiss your neck for days. Why this one? Why an hourglass?”

  “Time.” Niko stepped away. He needed distance, from what he didn’t know. “I shouldn’t have any left, but the clock keeps giving me another minute then another hour.”

  Ethan’s sweet smile disappeared as he picked up the rolls of paper towels. “I’m glad the clock keeps going. I think I’m going to want you around for a while longer.”

  When Ethan grabbed the doorknob, for a split second, Niko didn’t care who was on the other side. He wanted him to stay, to lie on the table and let him explore every freckle, every scar, hell every cell on that tender, lithe body.

  But he let him go. He had no idea how to make someone stay. Empty promises weren’t something he could give and no matter how much he wanted to call out for him to come back, the reality was—fuck being gay—he’d never had a relationship. Was this what people did? Torture each other until one caved and all hell broke loose?

  Niko headed to the bathroom, fuming at the thought of Ethan laughing in bed with another man. A boyfriend. He closed the bathroom door and turned on the sink. The cool water splashing on his face dampened his simmering temper.

  If he was the man who got everything done, why couldn’t he do this? Had he pushed too hard? He pumped the dispenser several times, filling his palm with soap. As the suds ran through his fingers, he imagined Ethan in the shower, fluffy white clouds spilling over the valley between two raised pecs. Slick skin stretched tight over a slender six-pack. Holy hell. Niko leaned his fevered forehead against the cool wall.

  He studied his reflection in the mirror. How could two men be so different?

  Friends with benefits?

  Niko turned and grabbed the doorknob. He’d give Ethan benefits so good he’d never want a boyfriend again.

  *****

  Niko paced outside the apartment door. With Casper calmly sitting on his haunches, tail wagging, he walked back and forth on the small landing. The fur ball had been excited ever since Niko clicked the leash to his collar. The walk over should’ve lasted longer than it had, but what started out as a casual stroll ended up in a brisk walk.

  Now, what in the hell was he supposed to do? Standing outside the apartment felt too real, like when the thud of the gun echoed against the worn yellow and pink linoleum floor. Niko fought the flinch teasing his shoulders. He’d run that night when his mother had screamed and used every dish towel in the place to stop his dad’s bleeding wound.

  A kid with a record looked guilty running when the victim, lying on the dirty kitchen floor with a shattered femur had ratted his son out. Just like running over here. He looked guilty on both occasions.

  Stopping the frantic pacing, he slid down the wall and sat next to his panting dog. The moment he started to pet Casper’s smooth head, the fur ball leaned in and pressed this wide rib cage against Niko’s thigh. Just a guy and his dog. Maybe that was the way it should be. His life had worked out this way for a reason.

  What in the hell was he doing here anyway? Not being gay but wanting to fuck Ethan was a disaster. If tonight happened, there was no going back. He couldn’t unimagine having his cock in Ethan’s ass. After kissing those sweet, eager lips, there would be no woman who’d be able to release the tension in his gut. The coil in his stomach tightened. Would he even be able to get a hard-on with them anymore?

  He leaned the back of his head against the wall and closed his eyes. The steady up and down of Casper’s breathing calmed his nerves. Maybe Ethan wasn’t home yet. He could leave. No harm done. The guys wouldn’t know he’d been here. Hell, he could bury these feelings, or whatever in the hell they were.

  “Are you coming in or setting up camp out here?”

  Niko opened his eyes. Ethan stood in the doorway with a kitchen mitt on one hand and a spatula in the other. Niko laughed, which made the breath he’d been holding come out in a honk. “What in the hell are you doing?”

  “Apparently, trying to figure out why a man is stalking my door. Hi, Casper.” Ethan waved the spatula at the dog. “I figured you’d be hungry so I made tacos, but if you’d rather sit out here for the evening, I can bring you a plate.”

  Niko hung his head and smiled. “Smart-ass.”

  “I like to think so. Come on, it’s ready. Scarlet took me to the store so I’ve got some goodies for us.”

  Niko flattened his palm against the wall and stood. “Goodies? So, you’re all Betty Crocker and shit now?”

  “I guess,” Ethan leaned back into the doorway, giving Niko and Casper room to pass. “The chef who cooked for Charles taught me a few things. She set an ice pack on the counter when she made breakfast.”

  Niko turned, the statement taking him off guard. “Ice pack?”

  Ethan shut the door and walked past, his gaze focused on the little kitchen area. “I guess I looked pretty bad after a session.”

  Niko lost his appetite. The fucking bastard beat the shit out of Ethan and he’d taken it…for money. “That’s fucked up, Ethan. Was the money really worth it?”

  When Ethan whipped around, Niko braced his hands on his hips. Ethan’s jaw twitched, eyes going dark. “We all do a lot for money, Niko. I assume you’ve done things you’re not proud of. Yes, I took shit from a guy who beat the crap out of me and paid for things I needed. Did I lose my self-respect? Yes. Did I lose who I had been before I met him? Yes. But, now, I want to do this on my own. I’m working hard to not let that happen again. If you want to judge me for what I’ve done, then you can leave.”

  Niko rubbed the smooth skin on his chin. Yeah, he knew exactly what the guy was saying. He’d lost his soul more than once and, thanks to The Professor, he’d built a life to get it back. “I get it.” Feeling the tightness in his abs start to release, Ethan’s shoulders relaxed. “So, we’re starving over here. Are you going to feed us or do we have to sit outside again?”

  A smile bloomed on Ethan’s handsome face. Such a baby face. His gut tightened. “You’re young.” He didn’t realize he’d blurted out the statement until it was in the air.

  Ethan laughed and turned to grab two p
lates from the counter. “I turn twenty next week. You didn’t seem to mind my age when you had your cock in my mouth.”

  Niko didn’t like the hand he’d been dealt on that one, but Ethan was right. Nineteen seemed like a kid, but next week was twenty and the four-year age difference wasn’t such a big deal. Ethan set the plates on the coffee table. Niko’s hands were hot, the burn making his fingers curl and flex. He didn’t want to eat, didn’t want to talk about anything. He needed Ethan upstairs in bed. “Now.” Unable to find the romantic words he knew Ethan probably wanted to hear, he skipped the verbal foreplay. “Upstairs.”

  Ethan slid his hand down his face. Was he changing his mind? Had Niko shown his cards and now the dealer was wiping him out? For a second, he was ready to turn, hit the door, and forget this night ever happened. “Wait,” Ethan said, his pale hand latching onto Niko’s bicep. “Don’t go. I see it on your face. You’re scared. I’m here to enjoy this as much as you are. It’s been a long time for me and I’m nervous, too.”

  The long lashes fell and lifted as Ethan’s pretty eyes pleaded for something, the same thing, Niko believed, that he was seeking. “Okay,” he whispered. This night was going to change every cell in his body. Like the night he ran, fear gripped his heart, but just as he’d stood tall when his mother drove away from the facility in which he’d been placed, he’d survive this, too.

  Ethan slid his tender hand down the bumps and valleys of Niko’s painted arm. “I can’t wait to lick every one of these.”

  Niko’s dick twitched with the thought. “I’m not going to stop you. Come here.” He twisted, pulling Ethan against his chest. Hoisting the lean body over one shoulder he loved the humpft then laughter coming from behind his head. “Who’s the boss now, skinny jeans? This ass is mine tonight.”

  He didn’t protest, just held onto Niko’s lower back as they climbed the stairs. Niko dropped him on bed and smiled when the mattress squeaked with the bounce. “Now, what?” Ethan asked, eyes twinkling in the lamp light. “You’ve got me up here, stud, now what are you going to do?”

  He all but tore the T-shirt over his head and grabbed Ethan’s feet to pull him to the edge of the bed. “This,” Niko flipped him onto his belly. Spreading Ethan’s thighs, he leaned in to brace his fists on either side of Ethan’s head. When he nipped the shell of one pale ear, he whispered, “Tonight I want to be inside you. We can negotiate for the next time.”

  Ethan turned, resting his cheek on the blanket, letting Niko see his pink. “There’s going to be a next time?”

  Had Niko really just decided another night was on the table? He guessed he had. “Yes.” He brushed the loose strands of sandy-blond hair away from Ethan’s forehead. “There will be another night.”

  “God, I want you.” Ethan bucked and turned, knocking him off balance. Ethan popped one button and released the zipper.

  Niko sucked in a breath. No underwear. Jesus, his dick wanted to explode a wad in his pants.

  “What?” Ethan asked as he freed his bare feet and tossed the jeans next to where Casper lay curled up on the floor. “You like what you see?”

  Niko swallowed. Never had he had this reaction to any woman he’d slept with. “Yes.” When he leaned in and slid the wide head into his mouth, Ethan’s hips bucked and shivered. He had to plant his palms on the crest of Ethan’s lean hips to keep balance, trying to distract himself from the moans or he would come before ever getting started.

  “God, Niko, you suck like you’ve done it a million times.”

  Niko split his lips into a smile knowing Ethan had no idea it was only his sweet body making him want to suck like a porn star. Popping Ethan’s cock out of his mouth, he sat up and tugged off his shorts.

  “Hold on.” Ethan got up, giving Niko a full sexy shot of his tight, bare ass and grabbed a tube from a plastic bag on the floor.

  “You thought of everything.” Niko crawled up on the mattress and watched him pull out a small box of condoms.

  “I didn’t know what kind you liked, so I got these.” He held up the box.

  Niko didn’t give a good god damn what kind of condoms they used. He just wanted inside Ethan and any way they had to do it was fine by him. “You’ve got two seconds to get in this bed.”

  Ethan tossed the lube and condoms on the bed and stood at the edge. “Or what?”

  “Or what?” Niko liked the contradiction between Ethan’s innocent face and his dirty mouth. “How about I toss you on this bed and take your ass any way I want? That make you wanna get moving a little faster?”

  “Yes, sir, it does.” Ethan hopped on the bed and nestled in the crook of Niko’s arm. “This is a total boyfriend thing to do, isn’t it, lying here like this?”

  Yes, Niko thought, but decided to kill the anxiety riding his brain and take the moment for what it was—two friends alone, finding comfort. Jesus, when had he become a fucking Buddha? He leaned down to kiss Ethan’s soft lips. Was it to shut him up or start the party? He didn’t care. Right now his body was in overdrive and his cock hurt.

  Ethan’s tongue darted out, teasing him to taste. When he rolled on top of Ethan’s body they molded together, Niko’s thick arms enfolding the smooth sinew on Ethan’s arms and chest.

  “You’re beautiful. I’ve never met anyone like you. Your body is so hard, but you’re gentle at the same time. Niko, you’re such a contradiction.” Ethan lifted his head to nibble on his bottom lip. “Don’t make me wait, okay?”

  The thud in Niko’s head kept in time with the cadence of his thudding heartbeat. He gave a sharp nod. Ethan sat up and grabbed the tube and condoms. Niko’s breath caught in his throat. He was supposed to be the one taking care of everything. He didn’t like the quiver racing through his gut. Vulnerability sucked and the one guy he wanted to keep safe was leading this show.

  “Let me do that.” Niko took the condom box and ripped it open. He grabbed the lube and popped the cap.

  Ethan lightly petted his shaking hand. “Our secret, okay? Just promise me when we’re alone you don’t treat me like I don’t matter.”

  Niko split the square foil packet and looked up. Ethan’s eyes were glassy. God, that look was going to kill him. “You matter, Ethan. You’ll always matter even if I’m an asshole.” The moment the tension in his face eased, Niko had to look away. He was going to be that asshole, just like the other guy’s in Ethan’s life. Too ashamed to admit he wanted a man in his bed and too fucking unable to handle wanting to wake up beside Ethan. Scrubbing the thoughts from his mind, he rolled the condom over his erection and squeezed the slick gel over his cock.

  Ethan pressed his hands against Niko’s chest and explored the connection between his pecs and shoulders. “Don’t stop. I’ve never had anyone look at me like you do.”

  He rested his weight on Ethan’s naked body and sighed. When Ethan’s arms wrapped around his neck he slid his tongue over his closed lips. The moment his mouth opened, Niko tasted and let the tipsiness take him under like a glass of whiskey.

  “How do I look at you?” Ethan wove his nimble fingers through Niko’s shaggy faux hawk. “I bet everyone looks at you like they want a piece of you.”

  Niko closed his eyes. The massaging fingertips working his scalp made him lightheaded. “They all do. I’m the can do guy. I get shit done. I don’t want to be that man right now. I just want to be here with you. Do you want me?” Had he really asked that?

  Ethan nuzzled Niko’s neck, his warm breath sending a tickle up Niko’s jaw. “Yes, Niko. I need you.”

  Niko plundered his sweet mouth. Rage possessed his senses and nothing mattered but the lithe body beneath him and the fact his man was safe. He was protecting and going to pleasure the only person in his life he’d ever opened up to. “Let me have you, then. Open your legs.”

  When Niko leaned up, he watched Ethan’s thighs part, welcoming him into the sacred space. “Go slow. It’s been a long time.”

  He’d have to go slow if they were both going to get anything out of this. Two pumps
and he’d threaten to blow his load. “Slow. Okay.”

  Ethan took a deep breath, sinking into the mattress. “I trust you.”

  The trust thing needed to be a two-way street. He manned up. “I trust you, too.” He fisted the base of his cock and rubbed the tip against the broad head of Ethan’s dick. Thin clear liquid coated the condom. “God, you’re so ready for me.” He curled his abs and slid his tongue over the smooth skin, tasting the slightly musky flavor gathered in the tiny slit. Ethan bucked his hips and pressed the back of his head into the pillow.

  Flipping the lid on the tube, Niko poured a generous amount of lube on the length of his cock. The moment the tip pressed against Ethan’s bud, Niko held his breath and studied Ethan’s face. “Push harder,” Ethan whispered. “Just go slow, but push.”

  Pressing his hips, Niko breeched the tight ring and his balls instantly crept tight against his body. The only thing he could process was to not blow his wad yet. “You’re so tight.” He watched Ethan’s hole swallow his cock inch by inch. “Does it hurt?”

  “A little.” Ethan grabbed his cock and started a slow tug. “It’ll stop burning once you get all the way in.”

  He grunted. Jesus, he was only half in and drops of sweat were sliding down his forehead. Ethan was probably expecting him to fuck like a freight train, Hell, the women he’d been with had wanted that, but he couldn’t do it. Not this time. Ethan’s comfort meant more than a moment of pleasure. When had his partner’s needs ever mattered? Never.

  “God, Niko, you feel amazing. Go faster.”

  Such lusty words never sounded as good coming from anyone else. He drew back his hips and slid in to the hilt. “Jesus,” he muttered and pulled only to push again. His tight lips barely parted as he forced the air out of lungs. “Am I hurting you? Please say no because I don’t think I can stop.”

  Ethan grinned and a quiet laugh followed. “No, but if you stop, I’ll kill you.”

  He furrowed his brow and concentrated on Ethan’s parted mouth, chest bowed, hand rocking the long length of his hard cock. He liked this side of Ethan, the one out of control and free. He was the one making this happen. He was the get-it-done guy. “Will you come for me?” Forcing himself not to ask again, he clenched his teeth. His balls hummed and tingled. The ridges along his dick vibrated as they massaged the inside of Ethan’s tunnel. “Look at me. Open your eyes.”