Disfigured Love

by Georgia Le Carre

Even though we arrived at Broughton Castle at night I could see how different it was. Guy had restored it to its former glory. Inside it was beautiful. Mrs. Littlebell started crying when she saw me and Ceba jumped on my chest and nearly tumbled me. Mr. Fellowes smiled at me.

  ‘I’m glad you’re back,’ he said gruffly.

  ‘There are more staff now, but you can meet them all tomorrow,’ Guy said to me. Then he turned to Mr. Fellowes. ‘Where is she?’

  ‘In the saloon.’

  ‘Come,’ Guy said softly, his hand on the small of my back.

  ‘Who is in the saloon?’ I asked, bewildered by all the mystery.

  He took me outside the door and turned to me. ‘Prepare yourself, she is much changed. I’m sorry, but she is the only one I could find.’

  I composed myself and opened the door and there she was. Standing by the piano. Emaciated and haggard beyond her years. Who knows what horrors she had suffered? We stared at each other. Tears began to pour down my face. I brushed them with the backs of my hands.

  ‘Sofia?’ I whispered finally.

  ‘Lena,’ she called, and though her face was ravaged, her voice was exactly the same. I ran into my Sofia’s arms as if I was a child again.

  *****

  He closed the door to our bedroom and walked toward me.

  ‘I’m really sorry I broke your heart,’ he said.

  ‘It’s all right. Sometimes it’s good to be sad. Anyway, my heart is yours to break. Just don’t break it too hard.’

  ‘Oh, my darling, darling. I will never break your heart again. I’d rather gamble my entire fortune away for you. There are so many things I regret in my life. But the one thing I do not regret is buying you. That day when I put you in chains and took you like an animal I spilled my soul into you and became blended with you.’

  Our faces began to move toward each other. As if we had done it a thousand times. But we had never kissed. This would be our first kiss. I was barely able to breathe.

  Our lips touched. Feather-light.

  I felt a shock go through me right down to my toes. It was like diving into an erupting volcano. I was on fire. I opened my mouth and suddenly his hands came around and, grasping me by my upper arms, he almost lifted me off the ground as he pressed me against his hard body. His mouth crashed down on mine; his hand went to my hair.

  This was no gentle kiss.

  This was the kiss of a starving man who suddenly comes upon a banquet. He sucked my lower lip, he pushed his tongue into my mouth, and, finding my tongue, sucked it into his mouth. He growled even as he claimed my mouth. My knees went weak and I became lost in the most incredible kiss. My heart was racing and between my legs that familiar ache to be filled began again.

  He lifted his mouth and looked into my eyes. Desire shone in them.

  ‘Blindfold me,’ I said softly.

  He shook his head gently. ‘Not this time, baba. Let there be nothing between us. This is a joining of our souls.’

  I stared at him in the glow of the silk covered lamps. He looked so perfect he was almost unreal. Like a bronze statue of a Greek God.

  ‘You’re too beautiful to be real,’ he said.

  ‘Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing about you.’ I had tried to be light and casual, but my voice had come out sounding shaky and nervous. He was so familiar and yet so foreign.

  An expression of sadness crossed his face. ‘You’re the Beauty here. I am the Beast. I brought you to my castle. Kept you against your will.’

  ‘You were never the Beast. You were always my hero.’ Gently, I curled my fingers around his gloved hand.

  He froze.

  ‘I love you. All of you.’ Gazing into his deliberately blank eyes, I slowly removed the glove and looked down at it. There was no other way to describe it. His hand was claw. I raised it to my lips and kissed it as it was the most precious treasure in the world.

  He smiled softly and dragged his misshapen thumb along my lower lip. My body’s reaction was instantaneous. I felt as if I was on fire. I stepped towards him and pressed myself against his hardness.

  ‘I can feel you trembling,’ he said.

  ‘Do whatever you want to me,’ I whispered.

  ‘Oh fuck,’ he groaned, and closed his eyes for a couple of seconds. ‘You make this so hard. I want to be an animal with you. Throw you on the bed and fuck you senseless.’

  ‘Be an animal then.’

  ‘No, not this time. Not after I have raged and wept for you all this time.’

  His hands snaked around my body, and lifted me clean off the floor. He laid me on the big bed, and before I knew it my jeans had been tugged off, and my panties were scraping the soles of my feet. He pulled my top over my head and with astonishing expertise unclipped my bra, and threw it behind him. The sheet was cool and silky underneath me. My lips parted. I was waiting.

  He stood over me never taking his eyes away from me while he removed his pullover, his jeans, and his black briefs and stood in all his naked glory. I stared at him greedily. I could hardly believe how beautiful he was. He really was so toned. So perfect. So erect. And so straight and enormous. My gaze moved back to his eyes and the look in them sent shivers down my spine.

  He moved and his knee was between my thighs. I slid down the bed and pushing my clit against the hard bone of his kneecap, ground myself against it with wanton abandon.

  ‘My little wildcat,’ he growled, and moved his hand to cup my breast.

  ‘Only with you,’ I gasped.

  Twin flames leapt into those beautiful eyes. ‘God, I want you so much I can hardly control myself.’

  I reached up to clasp his neck and his mouth descended on mine. It was not a kiss it was a whirlwind of lust and passion. My tongue was swept up into his mouth and inside his mouth it was sucked on with such intensity and sensuality that I felt as if I was being eaten alive. As if he was feeding off me. I got lost in the delicious sensation of melting and melding with him. The connection became so powerful and fierce that my hips began to writhe involuntarily, pushing into his knee and rubbing desperately against him. When he broke the kiss I stared up at him with wonder. I was breathing hard and my chest heaved. Some sense of loss must have showed on my face.

  ‘You’re like a fucking drug,’ he muttered.

  His touch was delicate but sinuous as his hands brushed down my body to stop on either side of my labia. He spread the fleshy lips wide open and looked down at my opened sex. When our eyes met again, his were dark with desire. He dipped a finger into the swollen wetness.

  I cried out.

  A second finger followed.

  ‘Yes,’ I moaned, as my muscles tightened involuntarily around his fingers. It had been so long, but my body had not forgotten him. It craved him. I craved his cock deep inside me.

  ‘Enter me,’ I begged.

  He began to finger fuck me with excruciating slowness. My hips lifted off the bed and pushed up against his hand. It was delicious and it was a torture. I did not want my first orgasm after all this time to be at the end of his hand. I tried to hold back.

  ‘Please, I can’t take it anymore. Just take me,’ I whimpered. I felt almost delirious with need. My head rolled from side to side against the sheet.

  ‘You can take more,’ he said, and carried on.

  I rose to my elbows and he leaned in and sucked my nipple. My head fell back.

  ‘I don’t want to come like this,’ I pleaded, hoarsely.

  ‘You won’t. I know exactly when to stop,’ he murmured as I felt the silky head of his cock push at my entrance. Gently, gently he fitted the thick hardness inside me. And pushed. I had forgotten how big he felt inside. How right and how perfect. For a second I wondered how I had ever survived without him. He paused to allow me to stretch to accommodate him, and the gentleness of the man broke my heart.

  ‘Don’t stop,’ I cried with longing, pulled in deeper.

  And he didn’t. He plunged into the very depths of me. So deep I think I lost a little of my
sanity. I simply tightened my grip on his shoulders and hung on while he thrust into me like a man possessed, with all the pent up emotion he had stored inside his being. My mind emptied out and became blissfully blank. There was nothing left, but our bodies mating with feral abandon. It was the most beautiful sex we had ever had. So beautiful I cried while he was still inside me.

  ‘Am I hurting you?’ he asked with a frown.

  ‘No. Don’t stop.’

  And then the best part—we came in unison.

  Both of us calling each other’s names. I could hear the hoarse, wild sounds travelling along the empty corridors and the vast rooms. I clung to his bulky upper-arms and gave in to the little death that transported me to ecstasy.

  *****

  I woke up early, Guy’s body warm and curled around me. My first thought was that we were fitted together perfectly, like two pieces of a jigsaw. We were made for each other. I sighed softly with happiness. It was almost like a dream. Slowly I turned my head and looked at him in the dim light. His eyes were closed, the dark lashes fanning his cheeks. There were still scars on the sides of his face where the surgeons had grafted on the new skin and the skin itself was a slightly different color, but to me he was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. I felt a wellspring of joy burst forth in my being at the thought that he was mine, mine, mine. He belonged to me as much as the blood running in my veins belonged to me.

  Very gently I extricated myself out from under his arm and slowly I slid away to the edge of the bed. Noiseless, I sat up. My feet touched the ground before I was suddenly jerked back.

  He nuzzled my neck. ‘And where do you think you are going at this time of the morning?’

  ‘Oh, darling,’ I said. ‘This is like a dream come true. I almost can’t believe that I am here with you. Sleeping with you.’

  ‘That’s all good, but it doesn’t answer my question.’

  ‘I was going to the grave. I want to see what you have done.’

  ‘Can’t you go later?’

  ‘Nope. I always visit her grave at this time before the sun comes up.’ I shrugged. ‘I know it sounds funny, but she’s never around when the sun is up.’

  He looked at me with an expression of great tenderness. ‘Don’t ever change, Lena. You cannot imagine how innocent and irresistible you are right now.’

  ‘Please don’t ever fall out of love with me.’

  ‘Nothing can change the way I feel about you. Don’t you know it was dark and lonely in my world until you came? I thought I was dreaming the first time I saw you.’ He touched my hair. ‘You were so blonde, so white, and so perfect—you looked like an angel. An angel of light. You dazzled me.’ He smiled. ‘I’m dazzled now.’

  But I pushed him off firmly and dressed warmly in a thick knit cream jumper, jeans, and boots. Guy got out of bed and jammed a woolen hat on my head. He wound a long scarf around my neck.

  ‘It’s not cold outside,’ I protested.

  He kissed my nose. ‘I love you, Lena Seagull.’

  ‘Keep the bed warm. I’m coming back.’

  I turned out of the castle and saw him at the window watching me. He waved and I blew him a kiss. I suddenly remembered the first night I had arrived at the castle, the impression I had of unspeakable loneliness. It was gone. The castle had been purged of its ghosts and renewed and re-energized.

  I went over the bridge. It had been repaired and painted. The rocky fields were a riot of wild flowers. The sight of them made my heart sing. I picked a bunch. The cemetery had been cleaned. I went and stood at her tomb. Beside it was the small headstone of her child. They were finally together. I placed the flowers on their graves and felt peaceful and happy. The clouds parted and the sun beamed down and I was caught up in the momentary beauty of the graves, the trees, and the flowers sparkling in the sunlight.

  Then I turned back and made my way back to the castle where Guy was waiting for me.

  The End

  Dear Reader,

  Thank you for taking the time to read Guy and Lena’s story. They lived in my head until you touched them with your eyes and made them come alive, and for that I will be forever grateful.

  xx Georgia

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  Sneak preview…

  Hypnotized

  Georgia Le Carre

  The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.

  ―Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

  Prologue

  The girl behind the counter smiled at me and licked her lips. Shit. That was an invitation if ever I saw one. Sorry, honey, I’m married. Hey, I’m not just married, I’m in fucking love. I had the perfect life. A beautiful wife, two little terrors, a successful career. In fact, I was poised to dominate my industry.

  The results of my research would soon be made public and I was going to be a star! Life was good.

  ‘Keep the change,’ I told her.

  Her smile broadened and yet there was disappointment in her eyes.

  I grinned and shrugged. ‘If I wasn’t already hooked I’d ask you out. You’re gorgeous.’

  ‘I’m not jealous,’ she said flirtatiously.

  ‘My wife is,’ I told her, and picked up the tray of drinks: cappuccino for me, latte for my wife, and two hot chocolates for my monsters. Suddenly I heard a man shout, ‘Fuck me!’ And though those two words had nothing to do with me, my body— No, not just my body, every part of me knew.

  They concerned me.

  I whirled around, jaw clenched, still clutching the paper tray of drinks—one cappuccino, one latte, and two hot chocolates—as if it was my last link to normality. For precious seconds I was so stunned, I froze. I could not believe what I was seeing. Then instinct older than life kicked in. The tray dropped from my hand—one cappuccino, one latte, and two hot chocolates—my last link with normality falling away from me forever. I began to race toward the burning car. My car. With my family trapped in it. I could see my babies screaming and banging on the car doors.

  ‘Get out, get out of the fucking car,’ I screamed as I ran.

  I could see them pulling at the handles, their small spread palms banging desperately on the glass. I could even see their little mouths screaming for me.

  ‘Daddy, Daddy.’

  It was shocking how frightened and white their little faces were. I could not see my wife. Where was she?

  I was running so fast my legs felt as if they might buckle, but it was as if I was in slow motion. Time had slowed down. At that moment thoughts came into my head at sonic speed, but the disaster carried on in real time. Suddenly my wife lifted her head and I saw her. She was looking out through the window directly at me. I was twenty feet away when I saw everything clearly. I kept on running, but it was like being in a dream where your mother suddenly turns into an elephant.

  You don’t go What the fuck?

  You just carry on as normal even though your mother has just turned into a green elephant. I just carried on running. I no longer looked at my children. My gaze was riveted by the sight of my wife. I was ten feet away when the car exploded. Boom! The force of it picked me up and threw me backwards. I flew in the air and landed hard on the tarmac. I did not feel the pain of the impact. I got onto my elbows and watched the fire consume my family and the thick, black smoke that poured from the wreckage.

  There was no grief then. Not even horror. It was just shock. And the inability to comprehend. The l
oss, the carnage, the tragedy, the green elephant. People came to help me up. I was shaking uncontrollably. They thought I was cold so they wrapped me in blankets. They sent me in an ambulance to the hospital. I never spoke. The whole time I was trying to figure out the green elephant. Why? How? It confused me. It destroyed my life, past, present and future.

  Two years later

  London

  Marlow Kane

  It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.

  —Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

  ‘Lady Swanson is here for her appointment,’ Beryl said into the intercom. Even her voice was all at once professional and terribly impressed.

  ‘Send her in,’ I said and rose from my desk.

  The door opened and a classically beautiful woman entered. Her skin was very pale and as flawless as porcelain. It contrasted greatly with her shoulder-length dark hair and intensely blue eyes. Her dress and long coat were in the same cream material; her shoes exactly matched the color of her skin. The overriding impression was of an impossibly wealthy and elegant woman. Women like her lived in movies and magazines. They did not walk into the consulting rooms of disgraced hypnotists.

  ‘Lady Swanson,’ I said.

  ‘Dr. Kane,’ she murmured.

  I winced inwardly. ‘Just Marlow, please,’ I said and gestured toward the chair.

  She came forward and sat. She crossed her legs. They were long and encased in the sheerest tights I had seen in my life. Yes, she was an incredibly polished and cultivated woman.

  I smiled.

  She smiled back nervously.

  ‘So, I believe you refused to tell Beryl your reason for coming to see me?’

  ‘That is correct.’

  ‘What can I do for you, Lady Swanson?’

  ‘It’s not for me. It’s for my daughter. Well, she’s my stepdaughter, but she is just like my own. I’ve raised her since she was two years old. She’s twenty now.’

  I nodded and began to raise the estimation of her age upwards. She must have been at least forty, but she didn’t look a day over twenty-eight.