Diesel (Dark Falcons Book 4)

by Em Petrova

  He hardened his jaw.

  “What if I killed him, Judd?”

  “What if? You had no choice. You were saving yourself.”

  “Yes…but now I’m more afraid.”

  “Why is that, honey?” He burned to touch her, pull her into his lap and vanquish that tormented expression in her eyes.

  She looked at him directly. “Because I went with Kenzo to save my sister Alexus. And now that I’m not there, he will try to get her back in my place.”

  The double bed wasn’t large enough to accommodate Diesel’s long body, and his feet hung off the end, but Selena was too selfish to care.

  She nestled against his broad chest and tried to stop the tremors running through her.

  At least now he knew everything—or as much as she could manage to tell him. In time, she knew it would all have to come out—either to him or a therapist—but she was too exhausted to continue dredging it all up.

  “Shhh, honey.” He smoothed his hand over her hair. His touch comforted more than she could ever ask for.

  “Judd.” She shivered in his hold.

  “Yeah, honey.”

  “I-I’m sorry for our argument. I realize now that you only wanted to take care of me. You’re one of those men who wants to give the sun and moon to his woman and I wasn’t receptive to that need in you.”

  “No. It’s me who wasn’t receptive to the importance of your career. I wasn’t thinking about anybody but myself at the time.”

  A sigh trickled out of her. Her job would be gone by now. She had failed to show up for a month. All her hard work, the long hours she put in to prove she was worthy of climbing the ranks and becoming director of the program that benefited disabled persons had been dumped down life’s drain the minute she found out what Alexus was involved in.

  “It was drugs,” she said suddenly.

  His hand stilled on her hair. “Kenzo?”

  She nodded, rubbing her cheek against his soft T-shirt. “Alexus got caught up in it. She was using cocaine, and when she couldn’t pay him anymore, he made her his…” She floundered. “I don’t know what to call it. She was made to sell his drugs to big buyers. Wealthy people.”

  “That’s why you were wearing that gown.”

  “Yes.” She shivered, and his slow, comforting strokes on her hair started again.

  “Honey. I have to ask this. Did he take you? Claim you with his body, I mean.”

  She sucked in a harsh gasp. Her worst fear brought to light, but now she was away from Kenzo and it wouldn’t happen. Diesel would shield her with his life.

  “No,” she whispered.

  He was frozen for so long that she started to worry about his state of mind. Then he issued a shaky breath and dropped his face to the top of her head. “Thank Christ,” he grated out.

  She clutched at his shirt, anchoring them together in the sea of this aftermath. They were together. And she still had feelings for him. If she had any sense of his words, looks and actions, so did he.

  At the same time she lifted her head to look at him, he dropped his stare to her. Their gazes clung…held for eternal heartbeats that strung together to the next and the next. Her breaths came faster as her heart pounded.

  “Judd…”

  “Yeah, honey?”

  “Will you kiss me?”

  He closed his eyes slowly and finally reopened them, the depths going from shiny to burning. When he cupped her face, she leaned into his touch and tipped her face up to his.

  In slow increments he bent to capture her mouth. And it was a mere brush of lips, too soft to be called a kiss. He froze.

  A gasp escaped her, and she pushed upward, uniting their mouths in a harder kiss. He grated out a primal noise, and she slipped her hands into his hair and deepened the kiss.

  He allowed her to shimmy on top of him and take the lead. But that didn’t mean he didn’t drive her crazy with his hands working down her spine to cup her ass and draw her against his swelling cock.

  Need blasted through her, an emotion totally different from anything she’d felt this past month and something she needed like she needed to breathe.

  “Judd! Please take me. I need you. I want your arms around me. Your skin against mine. I want your…your cock inside me.”

  His gaze ticked up to hers. “Fuck, honey. Are you sure?”

  Her only answer was a kiss.

  She tugged at the robe she still wore, parting the flaps. After she found the belt and freed it, he helped her push the thick cloth off her shoulders. With only the thin cotton pajamas Lily had lent her between her and the huge man she desired, she went wild tearing off her top and pushing at the bottoms.

  He seemed to sense her urgency to be loved on her terms, and he assisted her in yanking her PJ pants off. Beneath that, she wore nothing, and he shuddered as his hands met bare flesh.

  Hovering over her, he looked into her eyes as he deliberately covered her pussy with his big hand. His index finger lay along her slick seam. “Mine.”

  She nodded and surged upward to claim his lips again as he burrowed his finger between her folds and stroked her for the first time. Her hips shot off the bed. She clung to him as she rode his fingertip where it nestled over her throbbing bud.

  He rubbed, stroked and swirled his finger along her clit until the first clasps of pleasure struck her core. She rocked upward. He looked into her eyes. And she came for him.

  For Judd.

  Every wave of ecstasy that swept her up eased the ache of seconds, minutes and hours of fear. She gave a muted cry, which he swallowed with his kiss.

  As soon as her final pulsation ebbed away, she went for his jeans, tearing at the denim. He leaned away from her and stripped off his T-shirt. His leather cut already hung on a chair in the corner of the guest room.

  She saw the carved dips and swells of his chest and abs and spread her legs to him. “Take me, Judd.”

  His eyes darkened as he kicked off his jeans and boxers. His beautiful, long cock sprang free. He gripped it at the base and lay atop her again, angling the head straight for her pussy.

  He stilled. “Fuck! A condom.”

  “That’s the last thing I’m worried about.” She hooked her ankles around his back and arched up. His mushroomed head buried itself into her folds and then he entered her in one swift jerk of his hips.

  They shared a moan, and he took her lips again as he withdrew. The pace wasn’t enough for her—she needed more. Now.

  She bucked, and he took the cue. Braced on both arms, he looked into her eyes as he fucked her with a quick, thorough precision. It wasn’t enough—she needed the wild side of Judd. That man who threw her down on a bed, pinned her hands and sank into her until she was screaming.

  She scraped her nails over his spine, and he reared away. One look at her face and he understood.

  He grabbed her hands in one of his and locked them to the bed. Drilling into her, he forced her to look at him. Ten strokes turned into twenty, and too soon she was coming apart for him again, this time bearing her soul.

  He took in her pain and fear and gave her back the first hot spurt of cum. When the thick cream splashed her insides, her pussy contracted faster. Need wrapped them both in a tight grip, and she kissed him with a brutality that brought out the final spurts of his cum and her own orgasm peaked.

  He bit into her lip, stealing her cry. And she succumbed to the only man she ever wanted in her life.

  They fell apart, panting hard. She leaned over him, grasping his glistening wet and still hard cock in her fist. She pumped him once. He grunted and shuddered.

  “If I’m yours, then you’re mine too.”

  He met her stare. “That’s the only way, Selena. We do this together.”

  Chapter Five

  They exorcised her demons two more times before she fell into a dead, healing sleep.

  When the morning rays of sun streamed through the window, he saw that her face didn’t bear as many of the creases it had the previous day. Only a t
iny crinkle above one brow suggested that she had endured anything.

  But he knew better.

  One night of wild, passionate sex wouldn’t be enough to heal her. But she’d broken down some brick walls, and it was a start.

  He eased out of bed without waking her and pulled on his clothes. Running his fingers through his longer hair on the top, he used the bathroom and then walked out into the kitchen.

  He found Lily seated at the table with an enormous pink mug of coffee. She slumped over the table and cracked an eye at him as he entered.

  “Now I remember you’re not a morning person. Why are you up?”

  “It’s the only quiet time I have before Brady gets up.” She brought her mug to her lips and downed more coffee. “Is Selena sleeping?”

  He nodded.

  “Everything all right?”

  “Not yet. But hopefully in time it will be.”

  “Momma?” the tiny little boy voice projected from down the hall.

  She looked up, prepared to go collect her son from his bed.

  “I’ll get him.” Diesel moved to the boy’s room. The instant Brady saw him, he threw his arms up in the air to be lifted. His heart welling with love for the tot, he lifted him and held his pajama’d body against him as he carried him out to the kitchen.

  “Momma, I’m gonna go fishin’,” he said very clearly, rubbing a fist in his eye.

  She and Diesel traded a grin. “Yes, you are, buddy. Later today. First, we need to get you cleaned up and you have to eat breakfast. Why don’t you go play in the living room for a little bit while I have coffee?”

  He did, running off the minute Diesel set him on his feet. Lily slumped once more.

  “You could use a break, sis.” He crossed the room to pour himself coffee.

  “I know, but that isn’t easy when I’m the wife of a Marine.”

  “When does Keith get leave?”

  “Three months.”

  He turned from the counter with a full mug in hand. “Too long. It doesn’t seem fair. I thought I’d lose my mind not seeing Selena for a month.” The words broke from him unchecked.

  She met his stare.

  To cover what he just blurted, and how it sounded, he sipped his coffee.

  “You have feelings for her. Strong ones,” Lily said.

  Was there any point in denying it? Even if he did, his sister picked up the vibes anyway. “I don’t know what will happen, so there isn’t any point in talking about it.”

  “I understand.”

  “What will you do next? You can’t hide her forever.”

  He slicked his fingers through his hair again. “Tell me about it. But I’m a planner. I’ll figure it out.”

  “You could contact the police. They would go after the person—”

  He cut her off with a gentle, “Leave it to me.”

  After that, their discussion ended when Brady ran back into the kitchen with a toy that broke. While Diesel glued the plastic together, his mom shuttled him out of the room for a diaper change and a set of clothes.

  When he heard a footstep and looked up to see Selena standing there, his heart caved in. God, how had he forgotten how stunning she was in her morning state, all sweet, warm and disheveled?

  His cock stirred as their gazes locked. “Good morning. Would you like some coffee?”

  “Not yet. I was thinking.”

  “So early?” His tease fell flat. She compressed her lips, as solemn as he’d seen her the day before. Of course one night away from danger and in his arms wouldn’t be enough to shake the fear from her.

  With eyes downcast, she said, “I can’t stop thinking about my sister. I know he’ll go after her, and I can’t allow that to happen. The reason I stepped in to take her place was to keep her safe.”

  He stood and moved slowly toward her, wanting to grab her and never let go, but he knew she wasn’t in the right frame of mind for that right now. That defiant tip of her jaw told him that she was about to blast him with more things he didn’t want to hear.

  “I need to return to the mansion.”

  Her statement sent him reeling. He fisted his hands and leveled her in a stare. “No way.”

  “Diesel, I’m not asking for permission.” There seemed no rhyme or reason as to her interchanging his name with his nickname, but right now it felt like her putting a wall between them again.

  His chest heaved. “I’m not expecting you to. Sit down.” His command came out too harsh, and he softened it with, “Please.”

  She remained rooted to the floor a moment and finally crossed the kitchen to pull out a chair at the table.

  He sank to the opposite seat and looked at her. So vulnerable yet with a core of steel. He wouldn’t allow her to put herself into that danger, though. There were other ways to see her sister safe from this Kenzo dude.

  “I know you want to protect Alexus—” he started.

  “I have a plan,” she interrupted him.

  “Okay. Let’s hear it.”

  “It’s not only for Alexus. It’s to protect other women from falling victim to Kenzo. I return and we let the feds know that he’s dealing drugs. If I do this—carry drugs for him—it will show the feds when they show up. They can jump in and arrest him and raid the mansion.”

  He shook his head. “No way will you be a decoy. It’s too dangerous, Selena.”

  “Again, I’m not asking permission.”

  He stood so fast, his chair rocketed backward. She sucked in a quick breath in reaction, which only left him feeling worse about frightening her.

  After pacing to the counter, he braced his hands on it and bowed his head. How to make her see this was a terrible idea? Putting herself in danger could be disastrous. He couldn’t allow it, even if he had to bind her hand and foot and lock her up in this cabin.

  A long minute passed. “Judd… You have to know what this means to me to stop him.”

  He didn’t turn. “I know, honey. But you have to know that thinking of you going back is killing me.”

  Diesel’s back muscles rippled even though he didn’t move from his despondent pose. On the counter, she saw his knuckles of one hand whiten as he tensed more.

  The black T-shirt he wore molded to his broad shoulders, conformed to his spine layered with muscle and hung at his lean waist. She knew if she went to him and slipped her hands underneath that cotton, she’d feel the warm, velvety steel of his corded muscles.

  “Judd, listen to me.”

  He whirled on her. Across the kitchen, his eyes resembled two bloodshot holes in his head, and the breath snagged in her throat as she realized what she was doing to him.

  Slowly, she rose from the chair and went to him. The minute she slid her arms around his torso and tipped her head against his hard chest, he issued a rough breath. He squeezed her as though he’d never let her go.

  “The authorities would keep me safe. You and the Dark Falcons would keep me safe too.”

  He bowed his face into her hair and dragged in a breath but said nothing. When Lily and Brady entered, they found them in this pose, holding each other, at a standstill. Or a standoff.

  Suddenly, Judd pulled away from her. “I’m gonna hit the shower.” Without another word, he strode from the kitchen.

  Leaving her alone with Lily and Brady.

  She turned to face his sister. “I’m sorry about that,” she said softly.

  Lily busied herself helping Brady into his booster at the table and fetching him a cup of orange juice. “Not your fault, Selena. I know my brother and how he can be. Why don’t you sit down and I’ll fix you some scrambled eggs. They’re Brady’s favorite.”

  He pounded the plastic cup off the table. “Eggs!”

  “Be patient, my son.” Lily flashed a grin at Selena, and she relaxed into the chair, some of her energy draining away too.

  While Lily began setting items on the counter, Selena watched, her mind elsewhere. On Alexus. Was her sister safe? On the mansion and Kenzo. Had he woken from that bl
ow to his head, or was she a murderer?

  “I take it you told my brother something he didn’t like hearing.” Lily dumped the egg mixture into the hot buttered frying pan.

  “Yes. I…told him that I want to return to the mansion where I was held captive and try to lure the authorities there to bust my captor.”

  Lily shot her a look over her shoulder, one that was neither surprised nor judgmental. “Doesn’t surprise me that you’d want to put things to rights. Some of us women don’t sit by waiting for people to take action.”

  Selena’s shoulders drooped with the relief that somebody understood her motives. “Thank you.”

  She turned with a smile and bustled the pan of eggs to the table, where she served three plates. “My brother will calm down. Don’t worry about him.” She sent Selena a warm wink, and the three of them tucked in to their breakfasts.

  After a short time, Diesel emerged from the shower, hair damp but slicked in his usual style. Selena’s body reacted to his handsome appearance with memories of how demanding she’d been the previous night in bed. Giving herself had felt like a desperate need. Purging all the small, too-intimate touches that Kenzo had given her by using Judd’s body had been exactly what she needed to wash her clean.

  Was she really planning to return to that place?

  What choice did she have?

  If he didn’t go after her or Alexus, some other woman would become his victim. She couldn’t save those who’d come before her and her sister, but she could stop future women from becoming his prey.

  She met Judd’s eyes and all at once felt the need to give him space. She stood from the table. “I’ll shower next. Thank you for breakfast, Lily.”

  “My pleasure.”

  Quickly, she made a hasty rush to the haven of the bathroom. She wished she felt more at ease with Judd, but his disapproval and lack of understanding of her choices stung. She’d spent a month believing he’d take her side in everything, but that had been smoke and mirrors. Nobody got along perfectly. Sometimes even when you loved someone, you didn’t agree.

  As she showered and changed into Fiona’s borrowed clothes, she thought about how she would feel if Judd told her he was putting himself into danger. She wouldn’t like it. In fact, she’d feel as fiercely against it as he did.