The dumb whore has the nerve to make a pass at me. She lies back on the bed with her hand in her shorts rubbing her pussy. Entertained by her actions I allow her to get herself worked up. She pulls her shorts down exposing her bare flesh. My cock doesn’t even twitch. This bitch doesn’t do a damn thing for me. She is pretty enough but I am not going to bed another woman my son has laid with.
“Don’t you want to join me,” she says panting.
“There isn’t a shortage of pussy around here.” I pull her up by her hair. “Get your bag. Time to go.”
Before I let her on the back of my motorcycle, I get her a good drink and some painkillers and make the whore wash her face. I guess she deserves that much. And I can’t be seen with her having her lip bleeding. The last thing I need is to go to jail for assault.
When I get her to the bus stop, she seems reluctant to get off my bike.
“What is your problem?”
“I don’t have a plan and I always like to be prepared for where I am going.”
“Come on let’s figure out where in the hell you are off to, you can plan on the way there.”
We get over to the ticket window and I make sure she gets a ticket to take her Northwest. “This will get you as far as South Dakota. After that it’s up to you.”
With a few dollars to spare, I purchase her some snacks from the vending machine for her journey. I am not completely a thoughtless bastard. She takes the candy and the chips and shoves the packages in her bag.
“Thanks,” she says as she steps onto the bus.
With a wave I say, “Good riddance.”
Watching as the bus drives away, I remember putting LL on a bus not too long ago in hopes that she wouldn’t return. I do expect I will have better luck this time around with Chelsea. No doubt the slut can manage just fine fending for herself.
Before I head back to the Roadhouse, I call Baby to check on her. “You all right darlin’?”
“I’m fucking peachy,” she says with sarcasm.
“Sent Chelsea off on a bus. She won’t be a problem anymore.”
“Thank you,” she says coldly.
“Can you come over tonight so we can talk?” Might as well get it over with.
“I have plans but I might be able to come by after.”
The urge to ask if her plans include Rebel has me gripping my phone so tight I nearly crack the damn thing.
“I’d appreciate if your plans could include me,” I snap at her before ending the call. This is going to rip me in two but I have to do it now or I never will.
Sunshine
“Paul tells me his nephew is looking for a summer job. Thought that maybe we could have him here with us. I am sure we can find him something to do. He can use the weed eater or something. Says he is earning money for college.” Jane smiles at me as she loads her bushels of green beans into the back of her truck to take to the market to sell them this weekend.
“Whatever you think. I didn’t know Pauletta had kids.” Both Paul and his older sister were named after their father. I haven’t seen Pauletta since I was just a teen.
“Well her and that man she married couldn’t have kids, so they adopted a boy when he was just a baby. Handsome kid. He has all the girls in town chasing after him. Almost reminds me of how things were when Paul was in high school. I used to catch him with girls in the barn all the time. Probably should have fired him but he has always been a hard worker.” She looks to me apologetic knowing mentioning adoption and Paul in the same sentence makes me think of Patrick.
He probably graduated this year. I wonder if he is going to attend college in the fall. I wish I could see him just once. I wonder whom he favors, Paul or myself. Or maybe he shares a nice mixture of both our traits. Whomever he takes after, I can only hope that he is happy and healthy.
9
Baby
After cleaning all day, I am exhausted. I told Rebel if I find his place in shambles like that again, I’ll burn the son of a bitchin trailer down. He was nice enough to load the books I want to take to Dawn into my trunk for me. My arms feel like I have been pumping iron at the gym for the first time ever. My sister didn’t own much, she had collected more books than anything.
Some effects I thought Rebel would want one day to remember her by I put into a box in a spare bedroom closet. The only possessions I wanted to keep for myself were some photographs she had of her and Colt. She loved my boy a great deal.
I had Rebel take her clothes over to the Roadhouse and give them to the whores. Someone might as well wear them. Speaking of whores, I don’t know what Foxie thinks I can accomplish by trying to make nice with Lil Bit, but I suppose I owe it to my sister to expose the bitch if I can. She might be nice as pie and really care for Rebel. But I cannot bring myself to give her a real chance out of respect for my deceased sister.
Since I plan to see Romeo later, I take a much-needed shower while Colt takes a late nap. I have an eerie feeling that he has come to a decision, and it includes the words FUCK and YOU, and not in the context in which I will enjoy the fuck part.
**
Dinner at Foxie’s house is interesting to say the least. Lil Bit is staring a hole through Rebel and he is treating her as though she is not even here. I try to keep the conversation moving by asking her questions about her pregnancy, but she is keeping her responses short and vague. Sometimes she merely nods or shakes her head while shoving food into her mouth. Foxie had a phone call so she is of no help.
Colt can only provide us with so much entertainment. He is busy banging his fork against his cup. I have given up telling him to stop; at least he is giving me a distraction from all the awkwardness I am surrounded by. I gave it my best shot my mind is elsewhere anyway. I am dreading seeing Romeo. I know whatever it is he wants to say to me, it won’t be good. I can only imagine what he will say to me. “It’s been real, it’s been nice, but time to keep it moving.” I can hear it now… “Christ Baby, what do you want?” That is the problem isn’t it, what I want no one can give me. Not even him.
“Oh that is music to my ears. Praise the Lord!” All our heads turn in Foxie’s direction in the living room hearing her shout with excitement into the phone. “Yes, I can do that. I’ll be there first thing. Great, I will call back tomorrow when I know my travel plans.” She ends her call and I look to Rebel but he is just as baffled as I am. He shrugs and chugs the last of his beer before slamming the bottle down loudly in frustration.
“Thank you Jesus,” Foxie whispers as she sits back down at the table. She smiles widely at Colt. “That was Cowboy. He won tickets at work for Walt Disney in California and I was hoping you’d allow me to take Colt, Baby. We will only be going for a few days. It’s all paid for. You could take some time for yourself, spend some time with Lil Bit here, or go see your father. Please say yes Baby.”
“When would you be leaving?”
“Not sure. I will have to get the details tomorrow.”
“That is a long distance for you to take him alone…I could get my own ticket and come with you,” I say suggesting I come along. I feel uncomfortable letting Colt go when he is barely over two.
“Don’t you trust me? Baby this will be a great bonding experience for Colt and me. I never got to take you kids to do anything like it growing up. Please let me.”
Foxie is laying it on thick, but if it is important to her, I guess I need to say yes. Besides, I know she would never put Colt in any danger.
“Okay, but I expect you to FaceTime me every day and answer my calls.”
“Of course.” She smiles. “Lil Bit, maybe Baby would let you have Colt’s crib to set up here for the baby.”
“Um, yeah sure.”
“Thank you, but I’m not sure how long I intend to stay here and I hate feeling like I am imposing,” Lil Bit says with a bit of hesitancy.
“Well, I already told you to stay as long as you like. It isn’t every day I get another grandbaby. Baby can’t have more children,” Foxie whispers the last par
t as though I am not in the room. That stings. I know Foxie and I have our differences, but her bringing up the child I lost recently is taking things too far.
Colt is nodding his head at the table about to knock his noggin. “I better get him home,” I say motioning to my red headed stinker as he lays his head on the table.
“Let him stay with me tonight,” Foxie says insisting.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah take him and put him in my bed Rebel. You need the practice.” His mom winks at him.
“I know how to take care of kids,” he snaps back giving Lil Bit an evil glare.
I almost feel sorry for her—almost.
“Rebel see if you can get him to potty before you put him in the bed. I have a pull up for him in the car.”
“Don’t worry about that, I have a pack from the last time he stayed over,” Foxie says.
Rebel grunts picking Colt up, and teases, telling him it is time to drain the lizard. I shake my head at him.
With Colt taken care of, I say my goodbyes to Foxie and Lil Bit with a promise to bring the crib by when I come back for my boy.
Rebel
By the time I get Colt tucked in, Baby is gone, leaving me on my own with my mother and Lil Bit. Fantastic. FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!
Before I can announce that I am taking off as well, my mother decides I need to sit down with Lil Bit and ‘talk.’ I came to dinner that should count for something…it should be plenty, but no, my mother isn’t satisfied. Needing a strong drink, I hit the liquor cabinet.
“Be nice,” my mom warns, kissing my cheek and excusing herself from the living room, leaving me on my own.
With a bottle of Kentucky whisky in my possession, I take a seat next to Lil Bit on the couch.
“What are you really doing here Lil Bit? Tell me the truth now and save us a shitload of problems down the road all right?” Staring at her, I examine her body language. You can gain a lot of information just by observing a person’s mannerisms when they speak.
She cocks her head to the side before responding and repeats my question. “What am I doing here? I am here because I want to be near you.” Fucking liar.
“Bullshit, you didn’t come here just for me. You are up to something and I will find out what it is. That’s a check you can cash sweetheart.” Leaning in close I whisper in her ear, “and if you are playing an angle with your pregnancy…” Running my hand over her small belly, I threaten, “I’ll make sure you don’t live to regret it. You saw what was left of Smoky and you know what happened to my wife. If you are smart you’ll learn to put that mouth to use other than using it for sucking dick.”
With that, I take my leave. Outside I watch her through the window, she seems nervous. Her foot is tapping against the floor and she is staring at the wall with a dead gaze in her eyes.
When I get on my bike to leave she comes running out the door.
“Rebel wait…there is something. It may be nothing but my brother—Shred, he asked me to get close to Baby. If you’ve noticed, I am trying to keep my distance. I don’t know what his interest in her is, but whatever the case, that’s all I know.”
I scratch the back of my neck while I think. “You sure that’s it?”
“I swear that’s it.” Her eyes are wide and blink naturally. I believe her for now.
“All right.” I nod
She bounces from foot to foot. “I don’t expect you to just suddenly be in love with me or anything Rebel, but this baby is yours, and I would at least like us to be friends or something.” She kisses my cheek sweetly and runs back in the house.
“Or something,” I whisper and rev my engine.
10
Grim
Goddamn I have got to get the fuck out of here. Sitting here with my thumb up my ass is getting me nowhere. I keep trying to catch hold of whoever is leaving me food, but by the time I realize they are near, the food is here and they have vanished.
The only sound I hear now is the dripping of water from the faucet and the steady beep of the machine in the next room. Taking a hard look around the room, there has to be a way out of here I haven’t thought of yet. The vent in the ceiling is too damn small to worry about. The dripping water continues to make a plopping sound.
Hmmm…fuck it. I go over to the small sink and begin pulling on the cheap faucet until I snap the head of it off. Water sprays wildly. A puddle forms on the floor. If I flood the room, maybe they will open the damn door, and when they do¸ I’ll be waiting for the motherfuckers.
Laying on my tiny bed, I don’t feel satisfied. Now I just feel even more pissed off. I lie here waiting for something to happen…anything. My anger continues to grow. They will come to bring me dinner soon and I hope when they do the water has reached the door. I need a weapon. My eyes settle on the porcelain lid to the toilet water tank.
Romeo
“Where’s Colt?” I ask as Baby comes in alone.
“Foxie wanted to keep him for a few days.” She seems uneasy about that. “The kids in bed?”
“They are with their mom, so it’s just us. It’s been a while since we’ve had a night to ourselves hasn’t it. “
“It has.” Baby doesn’t know what to do with herself. She is standing awkwardly near the door as though she is ready to bolt out of it at any moment. Does she know what I am about to do? Or is she about to tell me to fuck off? She wants out too, but she doesn’t want to be alone. I know her well enough to sense that much.
“Come in and stay a while,” I joke.
She smiles sheepishly and sits in my recliner instead of next to me on the couch.
“Afraid I’m going to bite,” I tease her trying to lighten her mood.
“You might. You have a vicious one.” She laughs lightly.
“Baby, there are things I need to say,” I tell her in all seriousness, crouching down in front of her so she can’t take off before I finish saying what needs to be said.
“I believe I know what you want to say and I don’t want to hear it. I’d rather we part now without bitterness,” she says with her voice raising.
“Baby, I need to say it and you need to hear it. I care about you. Fuck, I love you more than I probably should, I always will, but you and I both know this isn’t working. You need to mourn and work on you and be a mom to Colt. I need to get my shit together too. We’ve never had great timing.” I take her hands in mine.
“I know you care about me, and I think deep down you do love me, but you aren’t over Striker and I don’t just mean you are saddened by his death. You married him and he hurt you. You didn’t have time to put that shit to bed. I opened my arms to you when I should have told you to work on your marriage. I was selfish because I wanted ya. Maybe we could have stood a chance had I not known he was my son, but I do. And it isn’t only that…I won’t be a stand in for a dead man, not even for you. It isn’t fair to either of us.”
“Is this because Rebel kissed me? Romeo, I didn’t even want him to kiss me!” She says one thing but her face says another.
“Baby don’t insult either of us by lying to me, because you can’t lie to yourself and you know it wouldn’t matter who it was or will be, because right now, no one will truly make you happy, because they aren’t him, they aren’t going to be Striker, and until you are over him, no man stands a chance.”
“Romeo…”
I place my finger to her lips to quieten her.
I know she won’t walk away unless I force her to. I don’t want to hurt her but I have to. “LL is moving back in with me and the kids. We are going to reconcile our marriage. It’s for the best for all of us.”
Tears are rolling down her cheeks and mine. Hurting her kills me, but I have to. She needs to take care of herself before she can be in any kind of relationship.
“You see me as a stand in for your father too. You’ve always had daddy issues,” I say insulting her feelings for me. I am not saying anything she doesn’t know.
She smacks me so hard my neck snaps back. S
hould have seen that coming. Recoiling I drop back on my ass holding my burning cheek. If it were any other woman, I would smack her back, but not Baby.
“Fuck you Romeo!” She jumps up from the chair looking ready to hit me again. “You don’t know shit,” she seethes. She is ready to march for the door.
“Baby don’t go angry. Can’t we part as friends? We’ve shared a lot; I’d hate to lose that between us.”
“Only thing between us is sex,” she says coldly.
Rising to my feet, I take her tear streaked face in my hands and kiss her lips softly. Reluctantly she returns my kiss. My hands slide down her arms. My cock springs to life aching to be inside her, but I know I shouldn’t even think about bedding her once more. If I take her to bed that will only make this harder than it is. But fuck if I don’t want her one more time.
“You know that isn’t true. Don’t say shit trying to hurt my feelings. You know letting you go isn’t easy. It is the hardest thing I will ever do. And this time I mean it Baby. We can’t be together. I love you enough to walk away because I know it’s what you honestly need from me.”
“What I need?” She laughs, and her head falls back. Her breasts shake as she chuckles. “Wow, Romeo. Look at you trying to be a noble gentleman. Cut the shit. If you wanted to do the right thing, you would have sent me out on my ass the night you took my virginity. Don’t pretend this is any more than what it is. You got what you wanted from me and now that shit is hard, you are done. You never thought we stood a chance and the thought that we could scares you, but that’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. I love you,” I grit out getting in her face.
‘Then show me how much you love me Romeo and after I walk out of here, you will think back on this night and wish you hadn’t pushed me away. But at least you will have had me one last time so you have something to remember me by, and I’ll have something to remember you by too—a proper goodbye.”
Heart of a Rebel Page 6