Childhood Dream

by Theresa Paolo

  She yanked the bedsheet up to her chest, covering her perfect nipples. She grabbed her glasses, he’d put on the nightstand after waking her up to pop out her contacts. She pushed the black frames into place. “W…Where…How?”

  He studied her for a second, trying to determine if she was kidding. Last night had been a dream come true. More than that, actually. It was a damn fantasy come to life, starring his forever crush.

  “Do you not remember last night?” he asked hesitantly, afraid of what she might say.

  “I don’t know.” She pressed two fingers into the bridge of her nose. “I had a lot of champagne.”

  “You have a headache. Let me go get you some Advil and water. There’s a little shop downstairs.”

  He stood, and she grabbed his arm. “No!” Her eyes glanced down his naked body, and with a gasp, she dropped her hold and scurried to her side of the bed. “I mean, you can’t. What if somebody sees you?”

  “So?”

  “So?”

  Krissy had always been more on the reserved side, though if he hadn’t known her most of his life, he’d never know that by last night’s antics. “No one is going to care.”

  “I care.” Her voice echoed through the room, and she let out a loud sigh, tilting her head against the headboard.

  “Why?” They were two adults who had consensual sex; there was no need for embarrassment. Hell, Marco and Enzo would probably pat him on the back for finally getting the girl.

  She ran a hand over her face, her head drooping down for a moment before she pushed her hair back into place and met his eyes. “Because you’re my best friend’s baby brother.”

  “I’m not a baby, as you very well know.” He glanced down at his crotch, then back at her.

  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “No matter how big your penis is, it doesn’t negate the fact that you are Ella’s baby brother. Besides, this was only a hookup.”

  “So, you think my penis is big?”

  A frustrated groan rumbled up her throat, which was adorable. He reached out to run his finger down the silken skin, but she slapped his hand away.

  “Stop that.” She jumped from the bed, wrapping the bedsheet around her, and making her look like a goddess.

  “That’s not what you were saying last night.” He moved closer to her and grabbed her waist, but she spun out of his hold, her entire body twirling with the movement.

  “What happened last night can never happen again. It was…” He could see the memories flittering back into her mind. She bit her lip, then shook her head. Her lips pressed into a determined line, her face clear of any emotion.

  “Don’t.” He held his hand up. He wouldn’t let her diminish what they shared. It was beautiful and explosive and something that should be expressed on canvas with splashes of sultry red and fiery orange. “Don’t even think about calling it a mistake.”

  Her eyes shifted to the floor where her bare feet poked out of the bedsheet. Green nail polish­­­, like the color of her dress, covered her toes. “But it was. I’m sorry, Tony, but whatever happened last night shouldn’t have happened. But I can’t deny that it did, so let’s just see it for what it was. A hookup.”

  Anger and annoyance washed away any playful desire that had lingered from last night. His jaw ticked, and he fought to keep his control. How could she call what they shared a mistake? A lousy hookup? It was anything but. “Maybe for you,” he said. “For me, it was the best damn night of my life.”

  Her face fell into her hands. “Don’t say that.”

  “Too late. I already did, and I’m not taking it back. If you can’t handle the truth, then I’m sorry, but I won’t lie to you.” He never lied to her before, and he wasn’t going to start now. He stepped closer, fighting the urge to wrap her in his arms. “I have dreamed about being with you ever since I hit puberty, and no matter how many ways I thought about it, nothing, and I mean nothing, ever came close to what we had.”

  “Since puberty? How many times have you…?” This time she held her hands up. “Better yet, I don’t want to know. The truth is for me, it was a mistake. If I hadn’t drank so much champagne, I never would have allowed this to happen.”

  “Do you regret it?” he asked.

  Her eyes narrowed, and she shook her head before meeting his gaze. “Excuse me?”

  “I said, do you regret it?”

  “That has nothing to do with this.”

  “Oh, it has everything to do with it.” A hookup, a mistake, he could work with. Regret was a whole other story.

  “I’m not answering that.”

  “Either you regret it and don’t want to hurt my feelings, or you don’t regret it and you don’t want me to know.” He closed the gap between them, holding her gaze. “You don’t want me to know that you loved every second in my arms, every brush of my lips against your bare skin, every touch of my finger on your body as I pushed you over the edge. You don’t want me to know you’ve never screamed like that during an orgasm, and you’re afraid you never will again.”

  He watched her neck bob as she swallowed, and he silently threw his arms up in victory. He was affecting her and he knew it. Normally he wouldn’t push. If a woman didn’t want him, he wasn’t going to force himself into their life, but Krissy did want him. She was just scared.

  “I can’t do this,” she said. Her eyebrows pinched beneath the black frames of her glasses, and frustration tugged at the skin around her mouth.

  “Can’t or don’t want to?”

  “Does it really matter?” she exclaimed. “Whether you think it was a mistake or not is irrelevant, because for me it was. I’m sorry, Tony, you’re a great guy, but you’re not the guy for me.”

  “You’re just scared.” He could see it in her eyes, in the way she couldn’t meet his gaze when she said it. It had nothing to do with guilt for hurting his feelings and everything to do with her lying to herself.

  Silence spread between them, and he knew he should leave. His welcome had worn out a while ago, but the pull he had to her kept him tethered in place.

  “You’re right. I am.” She sighed, long lashes fanning down before rising back into place. “I’m scared of what this will do to my relationship with my best friend. One of the few people who has been there for me every step of the way.”

  “Bullshit.” This had nothing to do with his sister, and he’d prove it. “Cami is with Enzo.”

  “That’s different.”

  “How is that different? He’s my brother, and she’s also Ella’s best friend. I don’t see the difference here.”

  “Enzo is her older brother, not her baby brother. She’s always been so protective over you.”

  “Yes, back when I was a kid whose mother died and whose father was thrown in prison for drug dealing. I’m an adult now.” She was using Ella as an excuse to deflect from the truth. There was a reason Krissy never had a long-term relationship­—a reason she pushed every guy away. But in order to avoid joining that pool of men, he needed to tread lightly for the moment until she could wrap her head around things. He took a deep breath and held his hand up. “Look, I get it. Last night threw us both for a loop. So why don’t we step away before one of us says something we regret?”

  “That’s all I want,” she said, her voice a mere whisper.

  He stepped into his pants and pulled on his shirt, and when he picked up his coat, the button fell to the floor. They never did get around to sewing it.

  “I can still fix that,” she said.

  “I know and I’m going to hold you to it, but now I’m going to give you space.” He pushed the button into his pocket and ran a thumb across the smooth surface.

  She nodded and slumped on the bed. It looked as if defeat weighed her down like a suit of armor. If only she wasn’t so stubborn, they could be making use of that bed once again. But he knew when it was time to step back and regroup. He wasn’t walking away, just giving her space to realize what had been in front of them this entire time.


  He turned for the door, and Krissy jumped up.

  “Wait.”

  A bean of hope sprouted, and he stalked toward her, ready to worship her body all over again when she flung her hand up, halting him in place.

  “You can’t just walk out there. What if someone sees you?”

  He glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand. “The way everyone was drinking last night, I’m sure they’re not even out of bed yet.”

  Krissy glanced at the clock. “Brunch starts in thirty minutes. I’m sure everyone is starting to come out of their rooms.”

  “.Then I’ll sneak back to my room, get dressed, and you can show up a few minutes after me.”

  “No! I’m always on time. Ella and Cami will start asking questions if I’m late. I’ll go first.”

  Her head tilted, elongating her neck. Memories of how sweet she tasted caused his dick to twitch. He bit back the need coursing through his veins. “I’ll see you down there in thirty minutes, then?”

  She nodded. “Okay.”

  He reached for the door, and her hand clamped down on his. He froze, staring into her warm brown eyes. He got lost in them so many times last night, and he knew he’d die a happy man if all he ever got out of life was being able to lose himself in them time and again. She was caving, realizing she was being silly, finding excuses to keep them apart, when really, they were so perfectly made for each other.

  He went to lift her hand to her face when she swung the door open and poked her head out. She scanned back and forth before looking at him again. “No one is there. Go!” She shoved him out the door, and without another word, shut him out.

  Tony stood in the hallway with discarded plates of breakfast outside the door across the hall. It was exactly how he felt… discarded. He took the walk of shame to his own room. Once inside, he collapsed on the bed and closed his eyes, dreaming about the morning he wished he’d had.

  ***

  After a twenty-minute nap that he didn’t want to wake from, Tony stumbled into the shower and took care of himself so he could get his pants on. The water streamed down his back, and he rested his forehead against the wall, letting the cool tile cool his body.

  Forty minutes later, he texted his best friend, Garrett, who had texted the night before to ask about the wedding, then made his way downstairs to meet up with everyone. His eyes immediately spotted Krissy in the corner. Her long hair was down, her bangs no longer pushed off to the side, but in their usual place. Her glasses couldn’t hide her brown eyes or the bags that lined them.

  Guilt tugged at his gut. Maybe she was too drunk last night. No. She knew exactly what she was doing. She just had drunk enough to turn the cautious side of her brain off. She had always been the careful one of her friend group, the one who liked order and ran from any hint of chaos. Until she had a drink or two, then the real Krissy would come out. The girl who threw caution to the wind and allowed herself to have fun.

  He knew both sides of her, loved both, but she didn’t get to pin one against the other in order to deny what they shared together. When he held her last night, her eyes locked on his as he pumped into her, she was a hundred percent with him. It’s why it was so special. Why, after all the years of daydreaming about her, it went beyond any imaginings his mind had conjured up. She was passionate and more responsive than he could have ever hoped for. She could deny it all she wanted, but that spark he felt whenever she was near, she felt it too, and last night only solidified that for him.

  She glanced in his direction, and her eyes widened before she quickly spun to Cami and started talking. A battle waged in his head, if he should go talk to her, or continue to give her space, when his grandfather tossed his arm around him. “My baby boy!”

  The term of endearment never bothered him before, but today the word baby grated on his last nerve. He patted the chest of the man who had practically raised him. “Hey Grandpa.”

  “Where’d you sneak off to last night?” he asked with his heavy Italian accent. All these years in the States, and it was one thing from his home country he never lost.

  Tony forced a smile. “I was around but turned in early. It’s been a busy week.”

  Grandpa’s hand lifted to his cheek and pulled him down, kissing the top of his head. “I never had to worry too much about you,” he said. “You were always the good one.”

  “I don’t know if I’d say good, but after dealing with Marco, anyone can look like an angel.” His older brother had been a handful growing up, a bit of a badass who had a couple run-ins with the law, but mostly because of his new wife’s recently deceased father had it out for Marco since he was a teen.

  Grandpa laughed. “That he was. And now he’s married. Can you believe it?”

  Grandpa looked at him, and Tony smiled. “Actually, I can.” If soulmates really existed, Marco and Aubrey were exactly that. They had just found each other too early in life and hit a lot of speed bumps along the way.

  “Me too. He’s happy. My boy is happy.”

  “Considering he jumped on a table last night and was dancing, I’d say he’s happy.”

  “I told him to take it easy on the beer. As a husband, he has an obligation to his wife on the wedding night.”

  Considering they both looked like they didn’t sleep much, and kept throwing each other suggestive glances, Tony didn’t think Marco had any trouble performing his husbandly duties.

  “I saw you dancing with Krissy last night.”

  Tony made sure not to so much as blink. Grandpa would be able to read him like a book if he let him, and with Krissy still unsure, he’d feel guilty if he let their night together become public. “I just needed a partner and so did she.”

  “You looked like you were having fun.”

  “We were.”

  “I always liked that girl. Good head on her shoulders and sweet as the ice cream she serves.” Grandpa snapped his finger. “That reminds me. I have a new flavor for her.” He spun on his toe and headed toward Krissy without an indication of what this flavor may be. Lobster and butter was the last flavor Krissy politely rejected.

  Tony thought about going over to butt into the conversation, but he was going to give her a little longer. He found his two brothers by the bar. “Didn’t you have enough to drink last night?”

  Enzo rubbed at his temples. “Don’t remind me.” His voice was like rocks being turned into gravel.

  “It’s quieter over here,” Marco said in a fake whisper, which got him a smack to the chest from Enzo. Marco held his hands up. “Hey just because you can’t handle your liquor anymore is not my fault.”

  “Hopefully Cami can brew me something stronger than this.” Enzo held up a mug of coffee. “I’m going to need it if I’m to function for the rest of the day.”

  “I didn’t think you drank that much,” Tony said, trying to recall last night, though all his brain could focus on was dancing with Krissy, holding her, kissing her, touching her...

  “Grandpa, Joe, Vinny, Al, and Wilson, got me to go shot for shot with limoncello,” Enzo said.

  Tony laughed, and Enzo cringed at the noise. “I was just talking to Gramps, he’s fine.”

  “They all are! How those old geezers are all bright and cheery this morning is beyond me.”

  “Their insides are probably fermented,” Marco said.

  Tony looked over to where Krissy was smiling at whatever Grandpa was saying. Visions of last night danced through his head like a movie he never wanted to end.

  A jolt to his arm knocked him into reality. He turned to Marco who lifted an eyebrow.

  “Stare any harder you’re going to burn a hole through the poor girl.”

  “Glad you took my advice and danced with her last night,” Enzo said. “Cami mentioned she seemed lonely.”

  Lonely. He hadn’t sensed that, though maybe that’s why she slept with him. She didn’t care who it was as long as she had a warm body on top of her. He quickly stubbed out that train of thought. Even if that had been her original in
tent, what they shared… was more.

  “I didn’t realize you were still holding a torch,” Marco said.

  “I’m not.” The words had become a habit, the reaction as natural as the daylight. He started denying his crush in his late teens, not wanting to seem pathetic for holding on for so long.

  “Okay then. Good chat.” Marco smacked him on the back. “I need to go find my wife.”

  “That was weird, wasn’t it?” Tony said.

  Marco nodded. “Yeah, it fucking was. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to that.”

  “You have the rest of your life to,” Enzo said, finally opening his eyes fully.

  “Damn straight. She’s finally mine.” Marco grinned, glancing around the room until he spotted Aubrey. His grin turned into a full on smile.

  Enzo took a sip of his coffee and lowered the mug. “Who are you fooling? She’s always been yours. Just as you’ve always been hers. Now go before she leaves your ass.”

  “Oh, Mr. Hungover has jokes now.”

  “Enzo,” Cami’s voice floated across the place and she gave him a wave.

  “Duty calls.” He pushed off the bar and went to Cami while Marco made his way to Aubrey.

  Deciding he’d given Krissy enough time, he walked over to her. Grandpa had finally left her alone, and she was sitting in the corner with a fake smile on her face.

  “What flavor did he suggest this time?” he asked.

  Krissy sighed. “Lobster and Old Bay seasoning.”

  “I think I just threw up in my mouth.”

  “Pretty much. Not exactly the flavor I want to be thinking about right now.” She turned her head from side to side. Then massaged her right shoulder, digging her fingers into her skin. If he didn’t think she’d mind, he’d take over, but he kept his hands firmly at his sides.

  He sat down across from her. “How’s that hangover going?”

  “I feel like I have tiny little drummers in my head beating my brains.”

  “Now that’s a visual. If it makes you feel better, everyone seems to be hurting today, Enzo especially.”

  “Not really,” she said. “But thanks for trying.”