Rocking Hard: Volume 1

by Sol Crafter, Diana Sheridan, Talya Andor, Lacie J. Archer, Angel Propps

  When he took to the stage he felt as though another personality popped into place, someone that was wild and hungry for a taste of every experience. He could see that other person when he saw images of himself singing. He never felt as though the person on the screen was him, so he didn't really blame himself for the things he'd done other than to think warningly that he should be more careful in the future.

  The half-naked pictures of him, the unicorn pendant shining at his neck like a silver star, were different. He didn't know why they were different, they just were. There he was looking starkly sexual, bathed in splashes of colored light contrasting against the blackness at the edge of the stage. His skin was so warmly hued that each individual drop of sweat glistened, but all he could see was the unicorn at his neck. It looked somehow branded against his skin. He was shocked by how natural it was to see it there, like he'd always worn Marty's necklace.

  It made him feel crazy and erratic and he wanted to grab Marty and tell him that he had feelings for him. Fuck that. He wanted to tell Marty that he loved him, and how crazy was that?

  He'd never loved anyone before, hadn't ever thought that it would be possible, but there was no pretending that he felt anything different for Marty. It made him wonder if he hadn't always loved Marty, and that was why there had never been room for anyone else.

  There was just something jarring about the idea that he had been in love for years without knowing it. He hadn't thought he had any secrets from himself, that he was fairly opaque about his wants and needs. Yet there Marty was, lurking in the darkest corners of him.

  He was experiencing the comedown slide from his stage high when he sat at his computer in the back of the tour bus, his hair still damp from the shower.

  He wasn't the most tech-savvy person on the bus but he wanted to do this himself. Which meant that he'd had to look up a tutorial about embedding videos. That was moderately horrible because he'd only wanted to learn one thing. By the time he was finished, most of the night was gone and he felt amazingly proud of himself as he sent the link to Marty.

  His body ached in a good way—a healthy kind of tired—and he went to his bunk with a smile.

  *~*~*

  He was at work when he checked his phone and saw that Jim had sent him a text, "Watch this," and a link, which he wasn't going to click while he was on set. So he saved the message and went about the rest of his day and let himself be talked into a couple of drinks with Jane.

  By the time he dragged himself home, it was almost midnight and he was on the wrong side of tipsy. His jacket seemed to fly off by itself and he stumbled into the kitchen, kicking his shoes off in front of the doorway as he went inside for a glass of water. He leaned his hip against the counter while he checked his phone, quickly flipping through the text messages he hadn't bothered to answer. Most of those were from Jane who had been with him at the bar and thought she was hilarious.

  Then he found the message from Jim and he felt a surge of pure happiness go through him. He had honestly forgotten about Jim's message and there it was like a surprise present.

  He filled his water glass with cran-pomegranate juice and nibbled on a slice of swiss cheese as he wandered his way to the dining table where he'd left his laptop. He settled in front of it, typed in the URL Jim had sent, and clicked enter.

  The web page that came up was amateurish: blue background with a beige text block, an embedded video, and a click-gallery of still pictures. He wondered why Jim had sent him the link, because while it wasn't the worst site he'd ever seen, it kind of hurt his eyes a little. Then he realized Jim had made it himself and it suddenly became the best thing he'd seen in a long time and he wasn't even going to pause and consider why that was.

  He was smiling when he started the video, then he was just staring at the screen and he wondered if he was dreaming.

  Jim had put together a montage video taken at different venues of the Blue-Eyed Suns playing the same song, their outfits changing though he'd kept them in the same placements. Marty was left breathless by the image of shirtless sweaty Jim popping up on the screen randomly, but what really drew his attention was the unicorn necklace Jim wore.

  Marty had bought the necklace and sent it as a joke, yet there Jim was, really wearing it in public at concerts in front of tens of thousands of people. When he looked at the picture gallery, he saw dozens of pictures of Jim and his band just hanging around or posing in front of various landmarks and in every single one, Jim was wearing the necklace.

  Quickly he saved the video and all the pictures to his own hard drive, then closed the laptop and stumbled his way to brush his teeth and fall into bed. He would have to talk to Jim tomorrow, even though he wanted to call him now. But he knew it was too late and he'd had too much alcohol to do any good.

  He buried his face in his soft, soft pillow and falling asleep felt like something that just happened on its own.

  When he talked to Jim, he said that it was cool to see all the concerts like that, though he didn't mention the necklace. Jim was full of enthusiasm as he talked about the tour and how he'd compiled the video himself and added the subtitles and he never once mentioned the necklace either.

  Neither one ever talked about it, but when Jim came back from the tour he was still wearing the unicorn necklace. He never took it off and just smiled and shrugged whenever anyone questioned it. Pictures were captured of him holding the pendant in his hand or pressing it against his lower lip when he was thinking and it became part of his image. Almost immediately, fanart appeared all over the place featuring Jim leaning against unicorns, riding unicorns, or just his image overlaid on a unicorn background.

  Marty found himself grinning like an idiot for several days and he was once again glad that Jim was the guy he was. Because once the rainbow unicorns started showing up, it wasn't very long before there were Rainbow Brite references, which slid over to Jem references, and someone came up with the theory that Jim Sheppard was really a magical girl. Right in the midst of everything, Jim was shown answering a couple of questions, and when the whole unicorn thing was brought up he was incredibly wry and hilarious and an article was spawned about how laid back and cool he was.

  The fifth season of Centrifical premiered in September and the studio had been really pushing the upcoming "Korlaax's Folly" episode and Jim's appearance on the show. The commercials had started airing during the summer on dozens of different channels and there were advertisements in magazines all over the place, some of them wildly outside of the genre's main comfort zone. There was a lot of buzz being built about the show and the first four season box sets were sold in record numbers.

  Centrifical had always had its following, but this was ridiculously different. This was people trying to figure out what Jim Sheppard saw in the small show, and they did end up with more fans and more detractors and a lot more media attention than they'd ever had before. They were no longer "that geeky sci-fi show" but a very hot commodity.

  There'd been mutterings about a possible movie being made in the future. It had just been whispers before, but now they were practically shouts and Jason took Marty aside and bottom lined it for him: There was going to be a big studio movie. Some things about Centrifical would likely be changed to meet the tastes of the blockbuster crowd, and there was a good chance that the Korlaax costume would be made more realistic. Because Marty was definitely going to be in any movie that happened and Jason was firm when he said he wasn't going to let anyone else play Korlaax.

  Marty was going to be in a fully-backed studio movie.

  He'd been in some small independent projects before, but Centrifical was his first big role. So to have the show he loved made into a movie was amazing, but to have real money behind them … It was the difference between living in a shack or a mansion.

  When he told Jim all about it, Jim was so pleased for him that Marty had to sit down with his head between his knees so he could catch his breath. Feeling Jim's enthusiasm had made him realize once and for all that it was
really happening and his head spun for a moment as he forced himself to process things calmly and not let his imagination run away from him.

  There was no movie yet, and he got Jim to keep repeating that to him every time he tried to get ahead of himself. He needed to keep his feet firmly on the ground just in case the rumors stayed rumors and nothing happened. Though he couldn't help the belief that things were building up and something was going to start soon.

  But nothing happened and everything seemed to smooth back down. Centrifical was still getting more interest than ever before and there were stories in entertainment news and all kinds of things were going on, but Marty didn't experience most of that. He was just Korlaax on Centrifical, and while he was one of the most popular characters to fans, to the world at large he was just "that cat-eared guy on that alien show." So his life just kept chugging forward and he was a little disappointed but mostly relieved not to be bothered.

  Then a picture popped up on a blog and it was as though the Internet exploded.

  In the picture, Marty was wearing a totally blitzed smile, an expression he didn't recognize because he'd never seen himself wearing it. And from the comments no one else recognized it either and there was much being made out of it, though it was mostly an underground buzz from his fans.

  Because what most everyone cared about was how he was standing there with his arm slung over the shoulders of rock superstar Jim Sheppard. They were both obviously stupid wasted and entirely comfortable in each other's presence. There was some quick speculation, then someone pulled up the info that they'd gone to the same high school together and had been friends for years.

  Netizens put things together and there was a general consensus that Jim had agreed to guest appear on Centrifical because of Marty, which suddenly made Marty incredibly interesting to all those people who had ignored him before.

  Marty started getting a lot of hits on his IMDB page and his agent told him his website was blowing up. His fan club of mostly sci-fi lovers was getting a lot of interest from every direction and was growing a few members at a time. He wasn't suddenly the most popular actor in the world or anything, but he had taken a noticeable jump upward in the ranks. It was kind of great, but it also kind of worried him too.

  Seeing Jim sitting at the table waiting for him to bring out dinner, Marty couldn't help the surge of guilt that went through him. So when he set Jim's plate in front of him, he couldn't help saying, "You're not upset about how I'm getting more popular from being your friend, are you?"

  Jim, who'd been picking up his fork, looked at him in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

  Marty felt Jim's eyes track him as he walked around the table to his chair and sat down. "I just feel like they're paying me a whole lot of extra attention because of you, and it's giving my career a boost." He picked up his fork and took a bite of the baked salmon. It had come out excellent.

  Jim smiled, showing off the faint outline of a dimple. "That's great. I think once everyone sees Centrifical, they'll realize that you're a great actor. I'd love to see you on the big screen."

  Marty looked at him for a long moment, just letting himself weigh the measure of Jim's sincerity and he felt relieved pleasure when he realized it was true. Jim didn't think Marty was taking advantage of their friendship to promote himself. After that, it was natural to sit down and eat with Jim. They got back to the task of living as the days and weeks passed by and he was able to relax.

  Right up until the first speculation began about whether he and Jim were in a gay relationship. Someone mentioned that they seemed awfully close to each other. It was only a few people talking, but the story was growing because Jim was "beautiful" and Marty was "dark and dangerous," whatever that was supposed to mean. He blamed it on his fangirls, who were building a reputation for him that was just a little too much dash and debonair for him to relate to.

  More pictures showed up from somewhere, images of different times they'd been seen together. There was a lot of interest about the video someone had managed to catch at the toy fair of Marty jumping into his car and speeding off with a mysterious other man. Netizens quickly identified the man as Jim and there was much speculation about what he had been doing there and how much time he spent hanging around with Marty.

  "Should I be insulted that they think you're too cool to have been there of your own free will?" Marty asked, turning his head toward Jim.

  "I wasn't there of my own free will," Jim said. "I was there of your free will." Jim was lounging sideways on Marty's couch reading a magazine and didn't even look up.

  "Whatever." Marty went back to chasing rumors on the Internet, immersing himself in all the theories people had about him and Jim. Like it was so very strange that they would want to hang out together.

  He scrolled down a forum screen and had to laugh out loud. There was a funny GIF of the two of them standing in swim trunks on a sunny beach while a unicorn walked out of the surf behind them in a continuous loop. It was obviously shopped and their heads had been rather sloppily added to the bodies of two other guys, but it was funny to see his drunk face on a male swimsuit model's body while the unicorn paused behind his shoulder to suddenly grin, showing off a pair of overlarge white teeth and bulgy eyes, before turning and walking back into the water.

  "What are you giggling about?" Jim asked, tossing his magazine on the coffee table and grabbing another out from under the edge of the couch. They were old science fiction pulp magazines Marty had pulled out of storage.

  "Just this." Marty turned his laptop so Jim could see the screen and watched him take it in.

  "That's pretty good." Jim laughed. "Can you save that somewhere?"

  "Sure." Marty quickly saved a copy. He went back to reading the rest of the thread. After a minute, the smile he'd been wearing faded away and he had to fight to keep from frowning. The last thing he wanted was to catch Jim's attention when he was reading some of the things commenter's were saying.

  He'd heard the theories that he and Jim were having sex together, but what he was looking at now went beyond mere speculation and entered into the realm of pornography. He could feel his cheeks burning over the things people were saying and more than anything he wanted to look away, but his eyes kept being drawn back and he kept scrolling down the screen until he just couldn't take it any longer and slapped the lid of the laptop closed.

  "What's going on?"

  He tried to keep his expression casual. "What do you mean?"

  Jim laid the open magazine across his stomach and gave Marty a quizzical look. "Seriously, you're not being all that subtle. You look like someone smacked you across the face. What happened?"

  Marty licked his lips. "Just some talk on the Internet, that's all. No big deal." He shrugged and stood up, wandering into the kitchen and away from Jim's eyes. He looked around until he spotted a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips and quickly snatched them up, pulling the top open before casually walking back into the living room.

  Jim was still giving him a questioning look. "Now you're desperately trying to change the subject. What's going on?"

  Marty sighed and threw himself on the couch, barely giving Jim enough time to move his socked feet out of the way. "Please don't stop hanging out with me just because people are fucking stupid."

  "I have no idea what you're talking about," Jim said, squinting at him.

  "I'm talking about all the people talking about us on TV and in magazines and those guys on the Internet."

  Jim sat up and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around his knees. "What are you talking about? What are people saying?"

  Marty turned his face away so he didn't have to see Jim's eyes. "There're all kinds of stories going around that we aren't just friends, but lovers."

  "Yeah, I've seen some of those too," Jim agreed. "It's not a big deal or anything."

  "Well maybe I just came across some rather raunchy accountings of what we get up to and now I'm feeling a little exposed," Marty said.

  Jim
laughed. "You're really that bothered by what a bunch of strangers had to say?"

  "It wasn't so much what they said, but how they said it." Marty stuck a chip in his mouth, his lips puckering at the sourness of the vinegar. "There may have been some wildly exaggerated accounts of my physical attributes."

  "Really." He risked a glance at Jim and saw that he seemed a bit intrigued. "So people on the Internet think you have a big dick or something?"

  "Or something," Marty agreed. "Either I have a really big dick, or a really small dick, or a secret vagina, or I might practice witchcraft. Everyone agrees that you're only pity fucking me." He covered his mouth, shocked at himself. "I mean …"

  Jim was cackling obnoxiously. "Oh wow, that's awesome. So to the world at large, I'm the popular one in our fictitious sexual relationship?"

  "Thank you for your sympathy," Marty said dryly. He would have thought Jim would be upset about all the gay-sex stories, so he should be relieved that Jim was finding the humor in the situation. Except, instead of being all angsty and fucked up about it, Jim was laughing like an idiot. "Please, do go on with your impression of a hyena."

  "Sorry, sorry," Jim waved his hand. "It's just you look so disappointed or something."

  Marty stared down into the bag of chips and didn't say anything. After a while, Jim wound down to silence and finally seemed to realize that Marty wasn't laughing. "Hey, seriously, are you really that upset by what a bunch of people are saying on the Internet?"

  Marty didn't respond, just methodically dug through the potato chips and ate the smaller pieces. He could feel Jim's eyes like a heat against the side of his face and he was hoping the conversation would change itself.

  "You're really upset," Jim stated slowly, as though the idea was forming in his brain as he spoke. "It's just a bunch of people talking about stuff they don't know anything about, and you're really upset. I always thought you had a thick skin; you never got embarrassed when people said anything about us when we were cosplaying or anything."