The Troubleshooter: New Haven Blues

by Bard Constantine

  Something like lightning flickered. A vertical slit ripped the air, a glowing slash which slowly widened. It tore across the walls as it slowly opened into a glowing doorway.

  Beyond it was the interior of a massive domed building. It appeared impossibly complex, lined with tech I couldn’t possibly begin to imagine possibilities for. Men and women in labcoats turned in obvious alarm. The ones who didn’t run away screaming, anyhow.

  I knew what it was, if only by process of elimination. The Command Hub, known to most folks as the Beehive. The center of New Haven which controlled the environment, the Tesla units, and all the city’s utilities. Not to mention the access point to the Tram Station. I figured the labs where the Savant did his memory reprogramming were somewhere inside as well.

  Tommy verified that for me. “He’s going for the memory core!” His voice was thick with fear.

  He suddenly shrieked when the New Man glanced his way; clutching his head as he writhed on the floor. I almost felt sorry for him, having endured a recent bout of hornet head myself.

  The New Man spread his arms like a back alley preacher as the door widened. “The time of illusions is over. The imprisoned minds of this Haven will be set free forever.”

  “Stay directly behind me.” Hunter blurred past me at synoid speed, heading for the New Man.

  That was about the last thing I wanted to do, but for some reason my legs had a different opinion than my mind and followed the suicidal synoid. I ducked low, trying not to catch a stray slug from the battle which still raged around us. I thought I glimpsed Poddar pulling Ms. Kilby behind him, while Selene and her girls frantically tried to fight their way to the New Man.

  Hunter drew closer, pausing only to snatch up a bio-gun from the floor.

  That’s as far as he got.

  The New Man raised his hand, and glowing whips struck through Hunter like razor wire. Somehow he managed to twist and tossed the gun backward before he ungracefully convulsed and ate the floor.

  I caught it with one hand, still running. As the bio-cables inserted into my arm, the New Man turned my way and casually raised his gauntleted hand again. I knew I wouldn’t survive a second blast.

  A brown and black blur streaked forward.

  Stinker struck the New Man right behind the kneecap with a savage snarl. The New Man wavered for about half a second. Most people couldn’t do much in that little amount of time.

  I’m not most people.

  I squeezed the shot off without bothering to aim. The blast tore right through the Grimoire. The pages splintered; broken crystal sheets shattered against the floor. The disk ripped from the cover, revolving in air. The New Man bellowed as he reached, Stinker still attached to his leg. I aimed real careful-like just as his fingers closed in. I’m a pretty good shot even on a bad day.

  It was a bad day.

  The energy round scored a direct hit, shattering the disk. White light washed over us as the glowing window shimmered blindingly. Startled yells filled the air as everyone still standing shielded their faces from the photo flash brilliance. The doorway fizzled and winked out with a hiss. The Grimoire had fallen apart in broken butterfly wings of glittering shards, but something hovered in the air, refusing to yield to the pull of gravity.

  I remembered Hunter had said the disk was an access key. What hung in the air had to be the source of power the New Man used to open the doorway. It was a metallic orb about the size of a golf ball. Tiny grooves carved lines across the surface and pinpoint lights winked in almost innocent alternating patterns. But it hummed threateningly, the timbre so deep it felt like heavy punches to my chest. The air around it shimmered electric blue.

  The thermal orb.

  Somewhere part of my mind could sense the New Man roaring wordlessly as he drew closer. I abandoned common sense and reached for the orb.

  Not exactly the best idea I’ve ever had.

  Chapter 18: Joker’s Wild

  The orb vibrated so hard I felt it in my spine. It felt as though I held the power supply of the entire planet in my fist. I was pretty sure I was dying, but it turned out it was just my eyes watering from the effort of holding the thing.

  As I ran, I noticed the fighting seemed to have had died down. Nothing makes enemies drop their differences like almost being rubbed out by a prototype synoid with designs on killing everyone with a massive brain flash. But the fun wasn’t over yet. I had to destroy the orb, or we’d only have reruns of the same episode.

  Which was hard to do with the New Man trying to kill me.

  I managed to avoid a searing blast from his gauntlets by turning the corner at full speed. I immediately tumbled down a graceful winding stairway. Gold banisters and marble steps hurt as bad as the regular kind, but the bruises still felt better than burning alive. I didn’t even pause when I reached the bottom. I figured since I could still stagger forward then nothing was broken. The orb was still in my grip, turning my muscles to water.

  I hit the nearest door with my shoulder and tumbled inside. It took me a minute for my eyes to adjust. I almost cried with relief when I saw where I was.

  Turned out Mayor Beck was indeed quite the collector. In that case the room displayed his weapon compilation. From medieval times to my favorite era: the twenty-first century. The place was the size of a small museum. Had to have something I could use.

  I heard the distinct sound of something extremely heavy coming down the stairs. Didn’t take a genius to realize the New Man was closing in. I ducked between two of the aisles. Good thing, too.

  Because a double-bladed axe swung by right where my head was.

  Captain Graves leaped over the aisle with athletic ease, toting the axe in one hand. His teeth were clenched in a misshapen grin. “Looks like we had the same idea. My biogun overheated. Damn labcoats can’t get anything right.”

  The axe whirred like a willow switch in his hand. I managed to lean to the side, but the blade still whipped by close enough to shave off some of the stubble from my cheek. I managed to hang on to the orb, though I could hardly feel it in my hand. My entire arm had gone numb.

  Graves was just getting warmed up.

  “You double-crossed me, Mick.” The axe whistled, hungry for Trubble steaks. A display case exploded in a spray of glass and splintered wood as the blade crashed through it. “The unit I sent to the Goryachevas was cut to pieces. You tried to cancel your debt by warning them. Not a bad move. Too bad you won’t be alive to reap the benefits.”

  My flogger was sliced cleanly as the blade missed my stomach by a hair’s breath. The axe slammed into a massive oak chest. The momentary distraction it took for him to yank the blade free was all I needed.

  I punched him in the gut as he tilted off balance, and just for good measure kicked him right in his boys. I expected a metallic ring, but instead he squealed like an angry chipmunk as he went down. Guess he didn’t have balls of steel after all.

  My second punch took him right in his meaty jaw. He moaned as he slumped backwards. I felt a tingling sensation in my fist, which I considered a good thing. At least I knew it was still attached to my arm.

  Something glinted near my foot, almost making me slip. Assorted rounds had spilled across the floor from the shattered cases. They were scattered together, but my eyes immediately zoomed in on the one I needed.

  A Gyroscope rocket.

  In less time than it takes to tell it, I pulled the Replacement Killer out and loaded it. Graves had picked himself up by then, and shakily searched for a weapon. He shattered a glass case with his fists and seized a compound bow. He was pretty swift on arming it, but before he could notch the arrow I had him lined up in my sights.

  “Don’t bother. On account of being dead and all.”

  The impact of the rocket lifted Graves off his feet. He collided with a few cabinets before eating the floor. I didn’t feel too bad. When you walk around with the name ‘Graves’, it’s only a matter of time before someone sends you there.

  Of course I didn’t get a
lot of time to dwell on it. The wall to the side exploded inward, burying Graves in drywall and smoldering rubble.

  Seemed the New Man didn’t believe in using doors.

  His face was cloaked in shadows as he looked at me with gunmetal eyes. “You do not have the knowledge or power to destroy the orb. Give it to me, or I will kill you and take it.”

  Seeing as how I was out of ammo yet again, I holstered the Killer and snatched up Captain Grave’s discarded battleaxe. Graves must’ve been in great shape because it was heavier than it looked, and hard to wield with one hand.

  “You forget about the third option.”

  I charged and slammed the axe with all my strength into the New Man’s chest. The vibration rippled from my wrist to shoulder from the impact of the blade against his armor. I had kinda forgotten about that. And about how large he was. I felt like a stepchild looking up at his abusive father.

  His mercury eyes were disbelieving as he gazed at the axe stuck in his breastplate. When his gaze met mine, I managed a weak grin.

  His punch knocked me about ten feet through the air.

  Good thing a couple of glass display cases broke my fall, or I might have gotten hurt. Worse. As it was, the room flickered along with my consciousness as I tried to find where my head went. My limbs refused to cooperate, and I kept slipping back on the tiled floor.

  It was over. My luck had finally run out, and I only had one card left.

  The Joker.

  I liked to keep the slim, prototype explosive on me at all times. It was last resort thing, something to use only when I knew I was about to buy the farm. A labcoat for the weapons division whipped it up as a personal thank you for saving his bacon a while back. It looked close enough to a playing card; only it packed the same power as a C4 explosive.

  A drop of blood dripped from my nose and spattered on the Joker’s face. He and I shared grins.

  The sound of aisles and display cases shattering grew louder as the New Man approached. “You are only flesh, Troubleshooter. No matter what you have learned from Dr. Faraday, your resistance is pointless. I will take the orb and your heart at the same time.”

  I activated the Joker with my thumbprint while I raised the hand which held the orb so the New Man could see it. It vibrated hard enough to practically break my fingers.

  “Wait.” I slowly stood, holding the orb high. My other hand concealed the Joker, which silently counted down. I tried to sound as pitiful as I could. “Wait. You…you said if I gave you the orb, you’d let me live.”

  The New Man extended his gauntleted hand. “Give it to me then, human. I will keep my word.”

  “Catch.” I threw the orb and Joker together. The orb flashed like a miniature sun as it sailed across the room, the Joker knifed through the air beside it. I thought I saw the New Man’s eyes widen right before I ran like hell the opposite direction.

  The resulting explosion sounded and felt like the end of the world.

  Do you understand your instructions, Agent Trudo?

  “Yes, sir.”

  I couldn’t see who it was that spoke to me. I was in a dimly lit room facing a shadowed figure behind a naked desk. I guessed it was one of those inconclusive dreams which weren’t good for much other than getting on my nerves. I hate those.

  Then repeat your objectives, Agent Trudo.

  What I hated worse was being in a dream where someone spoke to me in such a condescending tone. Not to mention getting my name wrong. I opened my mouth for a classic retort, but for some reason different words tumbled out.

  “Infiltrate New Haven. Ascertain the location of the thermal orb and recover it. Assassinate Dr. Faraday, and open the Tunnel for the entry of Secret Service operatives.”

  Very good, Agent Trudo. Report to your superior and prepare for your departure.

  “Yes sir.” I turned and walked out of the tastelessly adorned office. As I strode down the equally plain hallway, I paused at a highly polished window. A major metropolis twinkled outside; a vast expanse of towering monoliths and flying vehicles. Since it was night, my reflection was clearly visible.

  Something was terribly wrong.

  My hair was awful. It was cut in stereotypical military drone fashion. My face had as much personality as a glass of warm milk. My uniform was all black, pleated, and without a single ounce of character.

  I looked about as bland as Hunter Valentino.

  “Doing a little character study?”

  I turned around, and a raspberry blonde stood in front of me. A real dish, too. Sky blue eyes and full lips the color of fresh strawberries. Though this dame was harder than the average doll. It was in the severity of her pulled-back hairstyle, and there was glint in her eyes behind the smile that unnerved me a bit.

  What the hell was going on?

  “Come to see me off?” were the words that came out my mouth.

  She smiled. “As your superior officer, I’m obligated. You look a little stressed.”

  Stress actually would have been a welcome addition to the featureless face I saw in the mirror. I’ve seen synoids with more potential for expression.

  She placed her hands on my face in a more intimate manner than I would have expected from a superior officer. At least this dream had some perks.

  “Don’t worry. It’s like I told you–everything is under control. Glenn Faraday has no idea what your objectives are. He believes we will uphold ridiculous bargain that he put on the table. He doesn’t suspect we’re sending you there to take him out.” She smiled as though savoring the thought.

  “Just be careful. Don’t allow him to access your mind through any scan or tests. He will have the upper hand then. By no means allow him to know what your objectives are.”

  “It’s not my first time off the leash, Natalie.”

  She smiled as she looked me over. “I know. It’s just the first time we’ve had this type of shot at New Haven. You do this and the Director will be feeding from our hands. We’ll be able to call the shots instead of taking orders from these suits.”

  I took her hands in mine. “Then get ready to celebrate. Because Glen Faraday is as good as dead, along with anyone who gets in my way. It won’t be hard. It’ll be fun. Just like all the other times.”

  Her eyes brightened. “I wish I could go with you, but Faraday requested only one agent. So do me a favor. Dr. Faraday has caused the Secret Service a lot of trouble. Take your time with that arrogant bastard. Kill him slowly, Michael. Then come back and tell me all about it.”

  I opened my eyes and was immediately rushed into a world of hurt. I was thankful, though. The agony of my battered body was duck soup compared to the gonzo dream I just had. I managed to crane my neck and take a look around.

  I’d fallen into a basement of some sort. Old boxes and dusty tables were stacked everywhere. Guess the floor had collapsed from the explosion. I was covered in broken wood, rubble and chalky dust. I coughed and slowly checked to make sure I was in one piece and those pieces were still working. Every movement was a jolt of pain, so I figured I was all right.

  I rolled to the side and came face to face with the New Man.

  What was left of him, anyway. His head and torso were the only recognizable parts left. Seemed the combined explosion of the Joker and the thermal orb had an undesired effect on him.

  “You…don’t know…what you’ve done.” His voice quivered like a dying rattlesnake from the exposed receiver in his throat. “You’ve…chosen illusion over…truth. I tried to…free all of the trapped and…imprisoned minds. Now they will…suffer at the mercy of…delusions. As will you.”

  I managed to claw at the wall and pull myself to my feet. The New Man actually looked a bit pitiful lying there like a broken toy. I didn’t spare it any pity, though. And neither did the heel of my size elevens when I stomped on the remains of his head. Whatever was left in him faded away with a whimpering crackle.

  “Guess we’ll just have to find our own way. Whoever the hell you are.”

  I s
taggered a few steps backward before falling back on my ass. I sure didn't feel like getting back up, either. For about a week. My Bogart was battered and dusty, but I shook it off and tilted it just right on my head. I managed to find a half-bent gasper from my coat pocket, and clicked my lighter.

  What a night.

  I exhaled wisps of smoke as I collected myself. All the thoughts I’d been trying to ignore slowly coalesced into a picture which made more sense than I wanted to admit, kinda like the code at Tommy’s hideout. Much as I wanted to deny the truth, there was no way around it.

  I left the husk of the New Man behind and clambered up the debris into the light.

  Chapter 19: Rubble

  The first thing I noticed was the lack of sound. As in people shouting and guns blazing. I figured with the New Man outta the picture and the thermal orb destroyed, there wasn’t much to fight over anyway.

  Looks like I’d saved the day. I wasn’t counting on a lot of gratitude.

  The explosion had totaled at least half of the mansion. Everyone who survived slowly collected themselves, looking about as dazed as I felt. Even some of the Specters had made it. From the bewilderment on their faces I figured they either had been freed of some hypnotic hold, or were thinking about their employment futures.

  The street sweepers were all scrapped, either by the New Man’s energy beams or by my collection of friends and temporary allies. I was pretty sure the brass at the precinct weren’t gonna be too thrilled about that. Androids might not cost as much as synoids, but they’re still expensive.

  Angel stepped from behind the staircase, her beautiful face flushed. We both paused. There were no secrets between us anymore. Somehow the truth created a chasm lies couldn’t compare with. I was the first to look away.