The Farther He Runs: A Kick Novel

by Lynda Aicher

  “I didn’t expect you guys,” he said to his parents. Hell, he hadn’t even told them he was returning. His only thought in the time he’d had before boarding the plane had been to let Finn know.

  His mom smiled at Finn, appreciation shining through. “Finn called me.”

  Wow. He stared at Finn, his love growing—if that was possible. “Thank you.” To have that kind of support was incredible. He and Finn had hardly talked about his coming-out to his parents, yet Finn had taken it upon himself to ensure they’d known his status.

  “I didn’t know if you’d had time to call them.” Finn understood the way missions could work. How silent and quick-moving they could be. How, when it was done, it was all about extraction and debriefing.

  Someone slapped him on the shoulder and he turned, defenses up. His hand was still on Finn’s back, the gesture no way just friendly. Neither had the kiss been.

  He was hauled into a tight man-hug before he could react. “Way to go, Toe Pick.” He shoved away to see the wide grin on one of his men. “It’s about time you got yourself someone to come home to.” The guy extended his hand to Finn, who shook it, smile steady. “Sergeant Cully,” he introduced himself, then said to Finn, “You have a good man here.”

  Finn looked to Tanner. “I know. Thanks for having his six.”

  Cully grinned. “It was my honor.” He slapped Tanner’s back again, the sting lingering. “You got some ’splainin to do, Lucy.” He laughed at Tanner’s scowl and walked away.

  “You’re going to take hell for this,” Finn said, no remorse in his voice. “And not because I’m a guy.” Secrets weren’t kept among teammates—it broke down trust and built barriers that risked lives. Hiding this part of his life from his team would require some explanation and most likely a few rounds of beer.

  “His men shouldn’t care,” the Admiral interjected. “As long as he does his job.”

  Which was mostly true, especially in the years since DADT’s repeal. Tanner was more than aware of that. He’d chosen to stay quiet because whom he slept with was his own business, not a thing to announce like some big reveal.

  “And you, sir,” Finn said, his voice suddenly stern. “Do you care?”

  His dad scowled, his chin notching up a fraction. Tanner tensed, prepared for a reprimand or firm retort for being questioned. Then a smile broke over his father’s features and Tanner released his held breath.

  “Not even slightly.” He stuck out his hand to Finn, their firm shake a single pump. “I’m glad you have his six.”

  And that right there heaved the last of his doubts and reservations out the door. Finn did have his six, in every way that mattered. No one seemed to care that he loved a guy. And if they did, fuck them. He’d never let his race define him, so why had he feared his sexuality would when it never had before?

  His parents left, but he and Finn hung back so he could greet spouses and thank them for supporting their Marine. More hugs were exchanged, along with good-natured ribbing about Finn. Yeah, he was going to hear about his secret life for a while.

  He hunted through the thinning crowd to find Finn talking and laughing with a couple of Marines. Their expressions were open and friendly, and based on their body language they likely knew Finn. Not surprising, given how long he served.

  He let him finish his conversation, then motioned toward the exit when Finn caught his gaze. They met at the door and shoved into the warm California sunshine at a brisk pace.

  “Where to?” Finn asked.

  That brought him up short. “I have no clue.” Everything he owned was still in storage, including his car. He hadn’t talked to Housing yet, and transient quarters were definitely out.

  “Hotel it is.” Finn grinned and strode toward the parking lot, fishing a set of rental keys out of his pocket as he walked, no hitch in his stride. Tanner didn’t comment on that, or on the fact that he was driving. Neither of those things were important right now.

  The past wasn’t where he wanted to focus, not with the future spread out before him. One he could finally envision without shying away from what he saw.

  He hefted his bag higher and easily followed Finn’s lead. He would happily do that for the rest of his life.

  The drive was completed in silence, the sense of ease and being home flowing into him more and more the longer he was at Finn’s side. He couldn’t stop staring at him, and caught the few side glances and smirks Finn sent his way.

  The hotel room door had barely closed behind him before he had Finn in his arms, his hold almost desperate. He let go of everything else and simply let himself be. In the moment. Wrapped up in Finn’s strength. Safe in his arms and loved as he’d never dared to hope for.

  By Finn.

  The brother he’d loved for years.

  “Thank you for coming,” he finally said when he pulled back enough to see Finn’s face. He couldn’t stop touching him. The soft bristle of his hair. The smoothness of his cheek. The sharp cut of his jaw. The corded length of his neck.

  “You couldn’t have kept me away.” Finn caught him in a kiss, this one far from chaste.

  Tanner opened and let him in, a hungry moan slipping out. He remembered the deep heat and hunted down the lingering mint-and-heaven flavor he now craved. Finn rubbed his back, cupped his neck, and guided him to where he wanted him to be. Tanner didn’t care. He went freely, so damn happy to be in Finn’s arms. To not have to think or lead anymore.

  Finn followed him onto the bed when he fell back, his lips never leaving Finn’s. They crawled up the mattress until his head was cushioned by a pillow. Finn settled on top of him, that first full press of his weight yanking a sigh of relief from Tanner’s chest.

  The kiss was neither urgent nor desperate, and the slow exploration eased into Tanner’s system to set everything at a slow burn. It was so damn good and perfect. He floated in the reconnection and sunk into the confirmation he hadn’t really needed.

  This was all he wanted.

  Finn drew the kiss to an end with soft pecks that left his lips tingling and his heart so damn full he swore it was going to burst through his chest. Finn brushed the back of a finger down Tanner’s jaw, eyes searching his.

  “I can’t stop looking at you,” Finn whispered. “Believing you’re back.”

  “I am.” He cupped Finn’s jaw and lifted to kiss him again. His breath was short when he let him go, falling back to the pillow. “How long are you here for? A day? Two? I have two weeks’ leave. I can come back to Portland.” They could hide away in Finn’s cabin again. Or whatever Finn wanted.

  “Until you leave.” The permanence in his statement was communicated in the seriousness of his tone and in his eyes.

  Tanner swallowed hard, the knot in his throat growing. “What do you mean?” He didn’t want to hope too much. Not when the disappointment would hurt so badly.

  “I’ll be here when you come back too.” Finn dropped a quick kiss on his lips. “I’m…” He blew out a breath, smile spreading. “I’ve left Kick to the guys, and I’m here.”

  “What?” Confusion clouded Tanner’s thoughts, ramifications sliding in and out beside the longing to believe the words he’d just heard. He rolled Finn off him and sat up, mouth gaping. “You did…what?”

  Finn slowly shifted, until he was sitting facing Tanner. “I’m not going back without you. I don’t want to be there.” The determination and certainty in his voice broke through Tanner’s doubts. “I’ll find something to do here. I don’t care if you re-up. I get that this is your life. But mine isn’t tied to Kick or Portland. It’s tied to you.”

  “Holy fuck.” He tackled Finn, not even trying to control the impulse. He plastered his lips to Finn’s, declaring his disbelief and amazement in a hungry kiss that finalized his own plans.

  He lifted away, heart pounding with everything trapped within it. Finn stared up at him, eyes wide and full of life. So different from how Tanner had first seen them back in December. He didn’t want that to go away. Ever.


  “I don’t want to re-up,” he said, the decision firm. He waited for the twist of fear or regret, and got nothing. He had no doubts.

  “What?” Finn’s brows lowered, confusion anchoring them tight. He wrapped a leg around Tanner’s, his shoe thumping the back of Tanner’s knee. He was drawing Tanner in even as he questioned his words.

  “I’m retiring.” Saying the words aloud freed the weight he’d been carrying for years. “Twenty years is enough.” He kissed Finn, let it linger to reinforce the promise. “I—” He closed his eyes, forced back the assembling visions of death and fear. Finn was watching him, waiting, the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes. Hell, he wanted Finn to be the first thing he saw every damn day. “I’ve done enough.” Given enough. “I was thinking I’d rather run away with you than go on another mission.”

  The frown eased away from Finn’s brow. He stroked his thumb over Tanner’s cheek, a soft smile curling his lips. “That sounds good.”

  Tanner kissed him again, a promise and a seal of agreement that freed his heart and locked it firmly with Finn’s. After all the years of wandering and running without knowing it, he’d found the only place he needed to be.

  Finn was his point, and Tanner would have his six for the rest of his life.

  Epilogue

  A breeze blew over the mountains in a gentle gust that cooled the perspiration on Finn’s nape. He leaned into Tanner, their arms braced together as they sat and stared across the mountain peaks at the stunning view. Peace filled him with the gentle touch of happiness and love. This was exactly what he’d longed for.

  “I could stay right here and never leave,” Tanner said, reading his mind. They’d reached Machu Picchu that morning after spending the last four days hiking the Inca Trail through the Andes mountain range. “The sunset would be gorgeous.” The entire trip had been stunning, and everything they’d both needed. Exercise combined with a serene setting and each other. No worries. No stress. No responsibilities.

  “Yeah, it would.” He paused, absorbing the dull ache that still clung to his heart whenever he thought of Chris. He held it for a moment, and then let it go, content in the moment and his life. “But I don’t think they’ll let you.”

  Tanner looked at him out of the corner of his eye, his smirk lighting with mischief. “I’m betting we could both manage it without anyone finding out.”

  “Except our mandatory tour guide.”

  “Eh.” Tanner shrugged. “We could take care of him.”

  Finn muffled a laugh into his arm and rubbed a drop of sweat off. The sun sat high in the August sky, and the elevation brought them that much closer to it. He inhaled and let his lungs fill with the thinner air. The very fact that he could make this trip was a wonder. He still had the metronome app, which he’d used through the hike more for the consistency than out of need.

  Tanner pulled a bag of trail mix out of his pack and munched on it, feeling no need to fill the silence. They’d been together since February, when Tanner had returned from his last mission. The spring had been filled with transition and change, including adjusting to Tanner’s retirement from the Corps and defining their immediate future. Backpacking through South America had been thrown out as an idea by Tanner, and Finn hadn’t argued. They’d both been all over the globe, but had actually seen very little of it. At least the parts not filled with war, death, and unrest.

  “Here.” Tanner drew him closer, an arm around his shoulders as he held his phone out. “Selfie time.” Finn grinned into the camera, too damn happy not to. They’d started the selfie thing in Panama and Tanner had kept it up, sharing the pictures with the guys at Kick whenever they had Internet access.

  Rig had agreed to continue as point at Kick, with Ash as his second. They had ideas for change and growth, and Finn was certain they, along with all the partners, would take care of the company. He and Tanner had retained their shares in the company, but they’d shifted the profit-sharing percentages to reflect the changes. The other partners had been supportive, the transition requiring nothing more formal than an informational meeting.

  Tanner took a few more pictures before putting his phone away and resting back on his hands, face lifted to the sun. He’d struggled for a while, the nightmares hitting hard after he’d returned from his last mission. But they’d worked through them and would most likely continue to have to do so for a long time to come. Wiping away years of training and behavior—and horrific wartime experiences—wasn’t accomplished overnight. They’d handle it, though. Just like they’d handled Finn’s injuries and recovery.

  “You know something?” Tanner said, not moving from his position.

  “What?”

  He wet his lips, teeth snagging on the bottom one. “We’re trained to run into conflict. To face our fears and charge into shit.” He inhaled, held it before letting it out. “But running away can be good too.”

  Finn smiled. “Yeah. This is good.” He leaned back and laid his hand over Finn’s on the boulder beneath them, the inconspicuous gesture safe in this conservative country. No one had to know a damn thing about them except that they were two friends traveling abroad.

  Tanner was the love he’d never thought he’d have. The brother to his left who was now the man of his heart. He didn’t need anything else.

  “I love you—you know that.” He kept his voice soft, his words meant for Tanner alone. They had a lifetime ahead of them, and he’d make sure Tanner never doubted how he felt.

  “Yeah.” Tanner lifted his finger to stroke Finn’s palm, subtle and perfect. “I love you too.”

  The truth wrapped around him, pure and clear. The threads connected and held firm now, his belief in Tanner stronger than any doubts or fears. They had this.

  Tanner was his point, and Finn had his six.

  To everyone who’s kept on running when they really wanted to quit.

  BY LYNDA AICHER

  The Farther He Runs

  The Deeper He Hurts

  The Harder He Falls

  PHOTO: MARTI CORN

  Award-winning multipublished author LYNDA AICHER loves to write emotionally charged romances. Her novels have appeared on Amazon’s top 100 and Barnes & Noble’s top 10, and have been featured in USA Today and RT Book Reviews magazine. Her books have finaled in the Romance Writers of America’s RITA contest and won the BDSM Writers Con’s Golden Flogger Award. Prior to becoming an author, she spent years traveling weekly as a consultant implementing computer software into global companies before opting to end her nomadic lifestyle in order to raise her children. Now, her imagination is the only limitation on where she can go, and her writing lets her escape from the daily duties of being a mom, wife, chauffeur, scheduler, cook, teacher, cleaner, and mediator. You can find her online at:

  lyndaaicher.com

  Facebook.com/lyndaaicherauthor

  @lyndaaicher

  Love stories you’ll never forget

  By authors you’ll always remember

  eOriginal Romance from Random House

  randomhousebooks.com

  What’s next on

  your reading list?

  Discover your next

  great read!

  *

  Get personalized book picks and up-to-date news about this author.

  Sign up now.