by Jill Lynn
Her lips barely managed a curve. “Me, too.”
Had Cate slept at all last night? Drifting off had taken him much longer than normal. And then he’d been up before the sun to get here on time. Hints of tired were visible despite Cate’s perfectly applied makeup—not too much, not too little. Her clothes—black jeans, flats and a peach sleeveless shirt partially covered by a button-up gray sweater—shouted that she had it all together. Her protective covering was in place, but her weariness was palpable. At least to him.
“I don’t know what I’d do without her.” Cate’s hand pressed against her mouth. Luc wasn’t sure if it was to stifle a sob or because she’d realized what she’d said—and that Luc had, because of her, lived without Ruby for the past three-plus years.
He bit down on the I know what you mean that begged for escape. Today was not the day for fighting. Things might not be fixed between them, but the seriousness of Ruby’s procedure had caused him to mentally call a time-out from his anger.
He was by no means over what Cate had done in keeping Ruby from him, but he was praying that God would help him to be one day. That kind of forgiveness would have to come from above.
But he did have an idea of what might help heal his wounds. And since they were just sitting here, listening to the unbearably slow seconds tick by...
“Cate, I really think you should consider—”
“You’re not going to start bugging me about us moving to the ranch again, are you?”
So much for his stealth move in bringing it up. “It just makes sense. We have guests all week right now and it will be tough for me to see Ruby as much as I want to. It will be easier for me to swing it during the off-season.” Of course, he would make it work to see Ruby no matter what, but if Cate would just consider the option, it would be a huge help. “You could contact her day care. See if they could give you a credit for the month. It would save money. My sisters are there—Mackenzie is—” determined, stubborn “—all about adventure and Emma’s a rock star with kids. You’d have family. Support. It wouldn’t be forever. Just enough time for me to get to know Ruby a little bit better.”
A groan came from Cate.
“Is that a yes?”
This time a huff escaped, sounding sky-high on the annoyed meter. Guess she hadn’t appreciated his attempt at humor.
“It’s a no. The same no I’ve been telling you since we met with the nurse.” Her arms crisscrossed her chest, another shield engaged and ready for battle. “And stop sending me pictures. They’re not going to change my mind.”
He curbed a grin, deciding his amusement definitely wouldn’t be appreciated. Cate had texted him yesterday morning after he’d bugged her plenty about the option of them temporarily moving to the ranch—please stop talking to me about the ranch.
So he’d switched to pictures. He hadn’t said anything, so he hadn’t broken any rules. Until today.
Luc had hoped the visuals might stir something in her. He’d sent her a shot of the cabin they could live in. His—but he’d happily give it up for them. It had two bedrooms, a cozy living room with a fireplace, stackable laundry and a tiny kitchen consisting of a row of kitchen cabinets and small appliances. But since the ranch provided all meals, Cate wouldn’t need much space for cooking. Not that she had anything much bigger now. And the cabin was certainly better than the apartment she and Ruby currently lived in. At least in his mind.
He’d also sent her pictures of the horses—that one may not have helped—and of the wide open spaces he considered one of the most beautiful places on planet Earth. He didn’t think he’d gotten very far since Cate had simply stopped responding to the photos. Stubborn woman.
“If Ruby bugging me hasn’t worked, nothing will. And trust me, she’s talked about it nonstop since you dropped the idea on us. Thank you very much for that.” She shifted in his direction, jutting a finger at his chest. “Parenting 101—don’t say anything in front of a child until it’s already been decided. You can’t just go around spouting ideas like that. She’ll never understand why we’re not doing it, and I’ll be the bad guy. We have a life, Lucas. We can’t just uproot it.”
Lucas. Why his full name coming from her lips caused a spark in his chest, he didn’t want to know.
“But your work is freelance. You can live anywhere.”
Cate’s eyelids shuttered as if weighted down. “Let’s not do this today, okay?”
Regret flared to life. She was right. Not the time.
Luc stretched his jean-clad legs out in front of him but couldn’t get comfortable. He’d worn his Ariat boots today. A green button-down shirt. Something about the hospital—or hostable, as Ruby would say—made him feel like a kid playing grown-up, and he’d at least attempted to look the part.
“Can I get you anything? Something to eat? Drink?” Why did he feel the need to keep talking? It wasn’t like him. If Luc had to guess, he’d imagine he was more apprehensive about Ruby’s procedure than he wanted to admit. Taking care of Cate—scratch that—getting something for Cate would occupy his mind and harness his energy. He’d much rather be doing than sitting.
“No. Thanks. I can’t imagine eating anything right now.” Her hair was in a low bun today, a pair of simple silver earrings in her ears.
She slid a thumbnail between her lips. Luc had only seen her start to bite her nails once since she’d waltzed back into his life almost two weeks ago. That time she’d quit as soon as she’d noticed what she was doing. Her nails looked nice—painted a soft pink. She must make an effort not to engage the old habit.
He snagged her hand to stop her from wrecking what she’d accomplished, but once it was in his grasp, he wasn’t sure what to do. Let go? Hold on? He’d only been wanting to help her. Instead, his mind stuttered like an old, rusty engine at her touch. It had been a long, long time since he’d felt Cate’s skin against his. Her hand was incredibly soft compared to his, and he caught the faint scent of a lotion or perfume he remembered her using. Something fresh. Reminded him of a field of wildflowers.
She snatched her fingers away from him, and after a glare in his direction, she shifted so that she sat on both of her hands.
All right, then. Guess that answered that question.
“Catherine Malory?” a voice called from the entrance to the waiting room, and both he and Cate bolted from their seats. They reached the surgeon, and at the last second, the hand Cate had just torn away from his found him again. Surprise rippled through him.
He didn’t say anything. Just squeezed and held on, wanting to lend Cate support. She probably didn’t even realize her actions.
“Is she okay?” Cate asked before the surgeon had time to speak, her question so rushed it reminded Luc of Ruby.
Dr. Thom’s reassuring nod had Luc releasing a pent-up breath. “She did great. Everything went well. You can head back to see her in a couple of minutes.”
Cate dropped his hand like a rock. It crashed to his side as she palmed her face, relief and tears mingling.
The quick dismissal of his services—of any connection—left Luc scrambling to catch up. Would this be his new role? Needed one moment, held at a ten-mile distance the next? With the second being the much more common scenario.
Would Cate ever truly let him into Ruby’s life? And hers? Because he knew the two were intertwined. He wouldn’t have a place with Ruby unless Cate admitted him entrance. Right now he was nothing more than a useless horse sent out to pasture. A backup plan. And if his instincts were right, an unwanted one, at that.
* * *
Cate scanned the premade salads in the hospital cafeteria cooler, the choices as jumbled as algebra. Ruby had been out of surgery for about two hours and doing well. She’d been in pain when she’d first woken up. The entry site in her leg plus the general anesthesia had left her disgruntled, but after the nurse had adjusted her medicine, she’d settled down. Cate ha
d been thankful to see her drift back to sleep. Once she had, Cate had left Luc standing guard.
She’d needed a moment. Time to calm her jittery body with deep breaths and prayers of thankfulness for a successful procedure. So far it still hadn’t listened.
Her stomach clamored for something to edge out her nervous hunger. It wanted an extra-large piece of chocolate cake, but she planned to ignore that emotional request.
Everything in Cate’s oversize brown leather bag was Ruby-oriented. She’d forgotten to bring anything she might want to eat. Forgotten to take care of herself. Forgivable on a day like today.
She grabbed a chicken kale salad and turned to go, then thought better of it and perused the sandwiches. Luc would likely be hungry, too. Did he still eat like he had at nineteen? Back then he’d been able to clean off three plates in one sitting without adding an inch to his lean frame.
She’d certainly fallen fast and hard for Luc. They’d met at a party at a friend’s house. After talking for a few hours that night, he’d asked for her number.
They’d had coffee. And then dinner. He’d been so good about getting to know her that by the time she’d figured out she was in love with him, she’d been miles downstream with no chance of swimming back. Not that she’d wanted to. Sure, they’d had their moments of immaturity. Luc had been quick-tempered back then. A verbal fighter. Always wanting to be right. And she’d only been too willing to get in the ring with him. But despite some childish arguments, Luc had made her feel loved in a way no one ever really had before. Adored even. Like she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
She missed that. Missed what they’d once been.
Cate selected a club sandwich, knowing Luc wasn’t picky enough to complain, and headed to the checkout. She paid, cringing at the exorbitant prices, and returned to Ruby’s room. She didn’t want her girl to wake up and not have her there. Though now that they had Luc—now that Ruby had her father—Cate wasn’t the only one carrying the load of responsibility on her shoulders. Ruby had someone else to depend on.
At the door to Ruby’s room, Cate paused. Luc was in a chair close to the bed, his elbows propped against the mattress. Shoulders hunched. Head in his hands. It looked like he was praying. Ruby slept peacefully, eyelashes grazing her soft cheeks.
The dam Cate had built strong and tight in order to survive today burst free, one weak little chink at a time. It was obvious that Luc loved Ruby. He didn’t hold back with her. Had pursued her diligently since finding out the test results. They talked every night for at least a few minutes, usually as Cate was putting Ruby to bed. So of course she heard them on her phone. They were already crazy about each other.
And Cate had been the one who’d kept them apart. Yes, she’d thought she had the right to do what she did. Even believed she was doing the best thing for Ruby. But that didn’t make the reality of her choices any easier to swallow.
Cate had been scared of losing her daughter or fighting over Ruby like her own parents had over her. But she had to move past that now. Somehow. It wasn’t right that her fears had kept the two of them apart.
Even if Luc had started seeing someone else at the end of their relationship, she should have let him be a part of Ruby’s life. And Cate didn’t even know if that was true. He’d denied any wrongdoing.
Luc deserved time with Ruby. Deserved to know his daughter like Cate did.
Tears of acknowledgment swept down her cheeks. She was going to have to give in to Luc’s request about their living at the ranch temporarily.
Cate’s head shook, sending more moisture cascading. Why did God always ask her for the toughest things? The ones she couldn’t do. At least not without His strength.
Truly, Cate didn’t know if it was God or guilt nudging her, but either way, they were both right. She’d already taken enough from Luc. She didn’t need to cause more harm.
Retrieving a tissue from her purse, she swiped away the mascara that had surely loosened with her emotions, then stuffed the tissue back inside.
Her footsteps into the room caused Luc to straighten and turn. He rubbed a hand through his hair, eyes blinking as though they’d been closed.
“Brought you something to eat.” She tossed him the packaged sandwich, and he caught it.
“Thanks.” Surprise was quickly replaced by gratitude.
Cate stopped directly in front of him, and he studied her, faint concern etching his brow. His jean-clad legs and boots were tucked under the chair. The green button-down shirt he wore made the fern in his hazel eyes pop.
“Have you been crying?”
Her eyes rolled at being so easily caught. Frustrating. They always gave her away. She dug up a smile, albeit a wobbly one. “I’m fine. Just releasing some pent-up stress from today.”
His mouth stayed in a firm line. He nodded toward Ruby. “She’s been asleep the whole time.”
“Good.” Cate forced herself to speak. “Okay.”
Confusion evident, Luc’s head cocked to one side. “Okay, what?”
She could do this. She could put on her big-girl britches and do the right thing. “We’ll live at the ranch for a few weeks.”
His jaw slacked. Suddenly, he was out of the chair, standing way too close for comfort, hands squeezing her upper arms. “Are you serious?” She wanted to tell him to turn his booming voice down a notch but simply nodded instead.
He whooped and scooped her up in a hug. A very unacceptable, he-did-not-have-permission hug. Cate would try to break free, but she wasn’t a match for his strength. Plus, when was the last time she’d been held like this? Probably with the man currently rendering her nerves and muscles the consistency of pudding.
He let her down slowly, as if realizing the predicament he’d put them in. Once her feet were firmly back on the ground, his arms dropped to his sides, but neither of them moved from their close proximity.
“Thank you.”
He smelled like the outdoors somehow, even within the walls of the hospital. His face was freshly shaved, and for one wild moment she considered sliding her fingers along his smooth jaw. She’d always liked a clean shave on him.
Enough! Cate mentally slapped away her impetuous hand.
Instead of answering him with you’re welcome, she went with, “I’m sorry.”
He nodded once. “I can tell.”
Luc might not be forgiving her, but he recognized her remorse. That had to be a good sign.
“Mom? Dad?” Ruby’s groggy voice interrupted them. “I want a huggle, too.”
Cate’s skin heated, but Luc just chuckled and stepped back from her, flashing a magnetizing grin before facing their daughter. He should really be more careful with that thing. Only use it for special occasions. Ruby’s first dance. Inheriting a million dollars.
“Guess what, Rube-i-cube?” Elation oozed from him, the nickname he’d coined for Ruby earning a lilting of their daughter’s lips. “Your mom has some news to tell you.”
Chapter Five
Three days later Cate reached into the open trunk of her car for a box to carry into the cabin, using the few moments alone to shake off the bad attitude that had trailed her along the dusty drive to the ranch.
She might be doing the right thing, but that didn’t make it easy.
Scary was a better word.
“We’re a lot to handle, aren’t we?” Luc’s younger sister, Emma, approached Cate, bursting her momentary bubble of solitude.
Dressed in cutoff jean shorts, flip-flops and a Wilder Ranch tank with her hair in a ponytail, everything about Emma reminded Cate of a beauty-product commercial. One with a girl washing her face and then glancing into the mirror, all fresh-skinned and bright-eyed.
In the short time since they’d become acquainted, Cate had come to the swift decision that she liked Emma. Luc’s little sister had a cashmere-like demeanor. A sweetness so n
oticeable it practically radiated from her tiny pores. Unlike his twin sister, Mackenzie, whom Cate had met when they’d arrived today.
Mackenzie had studied Cate like a college art project deserving a failing grade. And it didn’t help that the woman was a superhero. Inches taller than Cate, all tanned muscles and an imposing figure in jeans, boots and a fitted gray T-shirt that pronounced to the world that she couldn’t care less about fashion but managed to look like an amazon woman anyway. Cate wouldn’t be surprised if she’d zip-lined down from the mountains just to help her move in.
Cate wasn’t jealous. After all, Mackenzie was Luc’s twin sister. But she could classify herself as a bit intimidated.
“I don’t know if I’d say that.” She finally answered Emma, settling on something diplomatic.
“You don’t have to,” Emma said, flashing equally commercial-worthy white teeth. “I’ll say it for you.” She nodded toward the house a short ways down the hill that Mackenzie had just entered. “She’ll come around. Mackenzie and Lucas have this weird twin intuition. It’ll drive a person nuts, but they’d do anything for each other. She’s just protective of him.”
Cate hefted the box of Ruby’s favorite snack foods out of the trunk. “And I’m to blame because I didn’t tell Luc about Ruby.” Why had she just said that? This whole situation was uncomfortable enough without her bringing up awkward truths.
Snagging the extra-large duffel bag filled with Cate’s clothes, Emma swung it over her shoulder before filling her arms with another bag. “I remember what my brother was like back then. Short on patience. Not always easy to get along with. I imagine for you to go through all of the trouble of raising Ruby yourself, you probably had a pretty good reason.”
Cate’s eyes pricked with liquid emotion. Emma had thrown her a lifeline, and she wasn’t going to be so stubborn as to not take hold. “Thank you.”
Luc had told her Emma had just turned twenty-three. Twenty months younger than Luc and Mackenzie and mature well beyond her years.