All of Me

by Bell, Heatherly

  “No, I won’t be in the cafeteria because that would be crazy.”

  He’d be heading to Em’s. She made the most succulent pot roast he’d ever tasted, and he’d grown accustomed to the fact that a home-cooked meal waited for him every night he could make it to her kitchen before closing time. Even though there hadn’t been many of those nights lately.

  “That bad, huh?”

  He hesitated for a second, and then hormones won the day. Again. “You should come with me. I’ll show you the best place in town to eat.”

  Her brow creased. “No, that’s all right.”

  “What’s the big deal? We could catch up. Since we can’t speak about anything personal when we cross the threshold.”

  Damn, he hated the fact that he wanted to be with her even for a few more minutes. Maybe some place where she’d loosen up a bit. This whole prairie woman look wasn’t the Ivey he remembered.

  She clutched her tablet like it was the last raft on the Titanic. “Why do we have to talk about anything personal?”

  “We don’t. But we were friends first, and if nothing else we could be that again.” What the hell was wrong with him? This was Ivey. Ivey who left him right at the toughest time of his life. He should be pissed.

  Except for the fact that what she’d said earlier had brought back an old memory he’d long buried. First year of med school he’d been drowning. He knew the stats for first year students. So did Ivey. The dropout rates were astronomical, and he couldn’t join those ranks. Not with how much his middle-class parents had sacrificed to help put him there. He and Ivey had managed a long-distance relationship for four years, but that first year of med school she’d become unbearably clingy and needy.

  So yeah, he’d told her he wanted a break. He hadn’t expected she’d listen so well. Interesting how he’d rewritten that in his mind, mostly because from the time she’d been sixteen Ivey had always been his, and he’d never expected that to change. He’d thought she might back off and let him breathe a bit. Let him come back to her, because he always would.

  Hadn’t quite worked out that way.

  “Friends? You and me?” Ivey asked.

  Why the hell not? Stranger things had happened. He’d seen them firsthand in his ER.

  *****

  Ivey and Jeff could not be buddies.

  On the other hand, he was the only other member on the subcommittee, and he could exert a deep influence on the other doctors. Someone had put him there because they trusted his judgment. And if she wanted this to go well, it would be important to have Jeff on her side.

  Like old times.

  And he had asked her out to lunch. Not a date, just friends. He wanted to show her a decent place to eat near the hospital. Something he’d do for any colleague.

  “Well, what do you say?” He was still waiting for an answer.

  “All right,” she said, because she’d always had impulse control problems around him.

  She hadn’t known what to expect, but it wasn’t to walk. Still, she slipped her tablet in her bag and followed Jeff’s long strides. Across the street from the hospital and two blocks to the east stood a little diner Ivey remembered all too well.

  “Mama’s Kitchen? I remember this place,” she said as he held open the door to the diner.

  “Under new ownership. I heard that Em and her husband Si took over about three years ago. I’m a regular.”

  Good thing the place was under new ownership because the old owner, Mr. Peterson, was a sixty-year-old man who hated kids. He’d inherited the place from his mother, the original Mama. The man hated teenagers in particular, and when she and Jeff used to come in here and sit at the booth in the corner, he would yell, “Let me see some daylight between you two!”

  The aromatic smell of coffee, sizzling bacon, and burgers permeated the diner. No doubt about it, this place smelled like a mother’s kitchen should, as long as the mother didn’t care about cholesterol and calories.

  “Hey, Si, would you look who’s here.” The woman who greeted them had short salt-and-pepper hair and earnest blue eyes.

  A ponytailed man Ivey assumed was Si ducked his head through the kitchen partition, bumped it, and rubbed his forehead. “Damn this thing. What did you say?”

  “I said your favorite doctor is here,” Em shouted back at his puzzled look, then waved him off. “Never mind. He can’t hear me back there.”

  They followed Em to a booth, and before they sat down, Jeff introduced Ivey. “She used to come here also.”

  “Ah.” Em leaned down and rubbed Ivey’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, dear. That blue ribbon is long since gone. You’ll find I’m apolitical in every way. I love everyone as long as they eat.”

  When Em walked away, Ivey couldn’t help but ask. “What blue ribbon?”

  The menu suddenly seemed of deep interest to Jeff, a man who by his account should have it memorized. “After we broke up, some of the business people in town took sides. Those who liked me hung blue ribbons in their establishment. Those who liked you put up pink ones.”

  He looked so serious, and that’s what kept her from laughing. “Is that supposed to be a joke? I’d forgotten about your weird sense of humor.”

  He continued reading the menu as if it were a medical journal. “Mr. Peterson put up a blue ribbon, but that was before Em bought the place. She took it down.”

  “Aunt Lucy mentioned something about people taking sides, but I thought she was exaggerating as usual.” Blue and pink ribbons? Had the whole town gone mad together?

  “How many pink ribbons were there?” It would be nice to know who her real friends were.

  He met her eyes. “I didn’t count. I thought it was as ridiculous as you do.”

  “But Mr. Peterson had a blue ribbon. He always liked you better.”

  “You were the one who used to practically sit in my lap every time we were here.”

  Ivey felt flushed at hearing the truth stated so matter-of-factly. Even if Jeff had never protested the seating arrangements. “Mr. Peterson was a misogynist.”

  “Everyone’s over it now. But I wouldn’t go into the hardware store on Main Street.”

  Ivey let out a deep sigh. Everyone had held it against her for leaving town for a man she met online, but it had turned out to be the best place to find a fake boyfriend.

  Em came and took their orders. Without the menu, Jeff turned his full attention on Ivey. “So how’s lover boy? John, was it?”

  “Joe.” Why couldn’t anyone get his name right? Even imaginary fictional characters deserved a little respect.

  “Are you sure?” Jeff narrowed his eyes. “I’m pretty sure it was John.”

  “Thanks, but I think I know the name of my ex-boyfriend better than you do.”

  “Ex?”

  Ivey played with the edge of her napkin. “It didn’t work out. Next subject.”

  Why had she ever agreed to leave the sanctuary of the conference room where they’d agreed not to discuss personal stuff? It was a trick, and she should have seen it coming. Damn Jeff and his perfect build, smoldering eyes, and aesthetically pleasing jawline. If he didn’t stop talking about the past, she might be rearranging that perfect face so that he would need to see one of his colleagues for a little rhinoplasty.

  Em brought out their burgers and sweet-potato fries. They’d both ordered the same thing.

  “How are your parents? And your sister?” If he wanted to talk personal, two could play this game.

  “My parents moved to Oregon a couple of years ago. They come down every year for the Grape Festival. Ali lives in town with her husband Bob and two kids.”

  “Two?”

  “Becky is four and Liam is two.”

  Ivey took a gulp of water and swallowed hard. She should have never opened up this line of discussion. “So what about your love life?”

  He gave her a long look. “What love life?”

  “You asked about mine.”

  “I don’t have one. The hospital is my sig
nificant other.”

  “Ah, the life of a resident.”

  “Only the highly tolerant need apply.”

  While it was difficult to believe that someone who looked like Jeff didn’t have the nurses in a tizzy every day, it was possible that he’d try to keep his personal life and business separate. Though not likely.

  “So what happens if the board decides against hiring a staff of midwives?” Jeff asked between bites.

  “You mean after our subcommittee’s powerful recommendation that they do?”

  He grinned and bit off a french fry. “Of course.”

  “I suppose I don’t get the job.”

  “And then what?”

  She hadn’t thought that far ahead, having always been a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants type. But she wanted to stay, despite the news of the pink versus blue ribbons. Maybe she’d find out who’d had a pink ribbon displayed and thank them for their support.

  “I’ll find another job.”

  “You won’t leave town again?”

  “I won’t. Why would I?”

  “I don’t know. You have a history of leaving when you don’t get your way. I break up with you, and you leave town.”

  “Oh so you admit it now.”

  “I remember saying I needed a break. I was trying to get through the first year of medical school. But I was already out of state, so I don’t see why you had to leave.”

  Because then everyone would have seen her pregnant body, and in this town of blue and pink ribbons Jeff would have found out. The first person to see her throw up would have phoned him and probably given details as to where she’d been and what she’d eaten before she threw up.

  “The reason I left town was because Joe was in LA, and long distance relationships don’t work.”

  Jeff leaned back in his seat. “You mean John.”

  Ivey resisted the urge to pound his gorgeous face and hit the table instead. “Joe, dammit.”

  Jeff grinned. Fine, she’d let him have his fun. She still needed him to be on her side.

  “We managed to have a long distance relationship.”

  “And look how well that worked out.” Ivey picked up a french fry.

  Jeff had a funny look on his face, his eyebrows lifted and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

  “What’s so funny?” That’s when she realized she’d reached for a fry off of his plate instead of her own. Ack. She dropped the fry and drew back her hand like a snake had bit it.

  “That’s all right. You can have my fries.” He pushed the plate in her direction. “Force of habit. The last time you and I ate together we—shared more than fries.” He gave her a wicked grin.

  She pushed the plate back. “I don’t want your stupid fries.”

  “C’mon Ivey, you know you want some.” He pushed it back in her direction.

  She didn’t like that penetrating look in his eyes. The air between them charged and electrified. The overwhelming knowledge that despite everything, they weren’t quite done with each other.

  But they had to be. Ivey pushed the plate back. “That’s where you’re wrong. I’m done.”

  And she had to remember that.

  Chapter 4

  One week later, Ivey had quizzed Aunt Lucy thoroughly and found that the fabric store and the hair salon Lucy used to run both had pink ribbons displayed proudly for a time. Even the bookmobile (Ivey was a regular) had a pink ribbon. The vintners had fought hard to stay out of it.

  Somehow Ivey recovered from the french-fry stealing incident in which her hand had subconsciously gone where it shouldn’t have. She couldn’t have that happen again. Couldn’t have her hand touch that gorgeous head of thick brown hair, or let it graze the stubbly jawline. No. Couldn’t have that.

  Aunt Lucy’s screechy voice pulled Ivey from her thoughts. They were at the doctor’s office, and Lucy’s cast had been removed.

  “Six long weeks! You have no idea how difficult this has been for me. I haven't gone this long without sex since—well, I can't remember when."

  While Ivey prayed the ground would open up and swallow her whole, Dr. Stein ignored the comment and continued to examine Lucy’s x-ray. “The bone healed nicely. You're quite lucky. We can't always expect that in a woman of your age.”

  Ivey sucked in a breath. Oh no, here it comes.

  “‘A woman of my age’? What is that supposed to mean?” Aunt Lucy asked.

  Dr. Stein seemed oblivious to his slip. “I mean that as a woman ages, osteoporosis sets in, and bones tend to take much longer to heal.”

  Aunt Lucy slipped off the examination table. “Well I don't have any of that osteo stuff. I'm in great shape.”

  “I'm sure you are,” Dr. Stein said.

  The poor man had no clue.

  “When should we schedule her follow-up?” Ivey kept track of Aunt Lucy's appointments in her notebook, and she pulled it out of her purse, ready to make a note.

  “Never! I'm done here. Good day.” Aunt Lucy gathered her Coach purse from the chair and stopped at the door. “Are you coming, Ivey?”

  “I'll be right there.” She had to make her apologies to Dr. Stein and find out about follow-up care. Even if her aunt wanted to ignore follow-up, Ivey knew how important it could be to a full recovery.

  After speaking with the doctor, she asked the front office receptionist to send a reminder of the six-month checkup. What on earth would Aunt Lucy do without Ivey’s help?

  Next she had to go find Jeff and schedule their next meeting. They hadn’t met since last week—a good thing since she’d needed a little bit of time after the french fry incident. But he was the other half of the subcommittee, and if she couldn’t convince him to go along with her recommendation, she wouldn’t get far.

  Aunt Lucy had already walked out of the reception area into the hallway of the clinic attached to St. Vincent's Hospital and now giggled into her phone. She had to be speaking to a man.

  Ivey marched toward her aunt, who still made googly eyes into her cellphone. Good grief. Aunt Lucy finally got the hint and wrapped up her phone call.

  “That was Antonio. He misses me. Hoo boy, that man has the sexiest accent I've ever heard.”

  Ivey inwardly cringed at the mental picture of Lucy and Antonio and then felt guilty. After all, Aunt Lucy deserved to be loved.

  “I have to go find Jeff—I mean, Dr. Garner, so I can schedule our next meeting. Will you be okay? It won’t take long.”

  “Of course, dear. I'll call Antonio back. We've gotten pretty good at phone sex.”

  Ivey whipped her head around, grateful no one had been close enough to them in the hallway to hear her aunt. “Umm, okay. I'll meet you in the car?”

  Ivey handed her the keys and hoped Lucy would take the hint. If she insisted on having phone sex, at least she could spare everyone within earshot.

  Ivey had only begun to get the layout of the hospital and took the elevator down to the first floor where the emergency room was located.

  As she approached the reception desk, a tall and slender redhead turned towards Ivey. Her name tag read Donna—triage. “How can I help you?”

  Ivey introduced herself and explained that she was looking for Dr. Garner to schedule a meeting. “Is he around?”

  “I just got on shift, so I’ll need to check.” She went through the double doors leading to the restricted area.

  “Pssst.”

  Ivey turned, and an elderly gentleman smiled in her direction. “Did you say something?”

  “I’m here to see him too. And I’ve been waiting a while. Name’s Frank Sullivan,” he said, sticking out a frail hand.

  Ivey sat next to him, and then the Florence Nightingale in her took over. “Are you feeling all right? What’s wrong?”

  “It would be easier to tell you what’s not wrong.” Frank tapped the side of his head. “Nothing wrong up here, that’s for sure. Everything else, the warranty has worn out.”

  Endearing and cute. “I’m sure the doctors here can help
you with whatever has, uh, worn out.”

  “Dr. Garner can. He has the magic touch. Every time I come here, I see him.”

  “Every time?” The statement implied he’d made multiple trips to the ER, and for his sake she hoped that wasn’t the case.

  He nodded. “He’s always here, so it’s not a problem.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I heard.”

  “And what are you here to see him for, dear? You look healthy enough, but sometimes it’s hard to tell.” He cocked his head to the side.

  “No, I feel fine. We kind of work together, and I need to talk to him.”

  “You’re a nurse? Or a doctor?”

  Ivey straightened a little taller in her seat. Frank hadn’t automatically assumed she was a nurse. “I’m a nurse midwife.”

  “They certainly are turning out pretty nurses these days.” No sooner had Frank given her his compliment than Jeff and Donna both came through the double doors.

  Jeff had a stethoscope around his neck and bags under his eyes. “Hey.”

  Ivey couldn’t help a tiny twinge of sympathy for him. “I should have called you, but then I realized I don’t have your phone number.”

  “Pssst, Doc, I would remedy that if I were you,” Frank said from his seat.

  “Yeah. Thanks, Frank. So what’s up?” Jeff took a step toward Ivey, as though he’d give them a modicum of privacy.

  “I want to schedule a time for us to meet with a local midwife in town. What’s a good time for you?”

  “I’m here most of the time.”

  “We’ll need to go to her. Why don’t I meet with her, and then I’ll report back to you. Next Monday?”

  “Doc, I ‘m going to need some fluids today, I think,” Frank interrupted from behind them.

  “I’ve got to run. See you then.” Jeff moved to give Frank a helping hand. “Donna, let’s get Frank checked out. Talk later, okay Ivey?”

  “Nice to meet you, Ivey,” Frank said as he shuffled away. “Be sure to leave your phone number with the doctor.”

  “Excuse me?” Ivey asked.

  Frank stopped walking and turned toward her, then spoke loudly as though she might have a hearing problem. “I said leave your number with the doctor. Then maybe you two could go out some time.”