If it was just her heart she could survive… couldn’t she? But it was more than her heart, it was everything. Dae felt like her whole being was breaking in two as she heard his inhuman growl from the dining room.
Koda had finished laying the food out on the table as he felt deep bone shattering pain coming from Dae.
He ran to the bedroom, his wolf taking control demanding that he kill who ever got in. He was at the doorway before a human could blink, determined to kill any Cursed bastard he saw ten times over if a hair on her head was out of place. But he quickly saw there was no one to kill, only his mate sitting on the bed in the same spot he left her in reading something. He ran around the room sniffing for other scents that would explain why his mate felt such pain but found nothing.
The man and wolf were both confused. There was no danger, no threat. His mate still hadn’t moved, her face being blocked by the paper she was reading. Koda focused on the back of the paper now that the man took control from the wolf. He had made out about five words when Dae ripped the thick stack of papers in two. She looked at him with a mixture of fear and misery.
What happened? And what the hell was she reading?
“What is this?” Dae’s hands were shaking; her eye’s completely blackened as she looked up at Koda.
“I don’t know. Just Dae, calm down ok?” Koda felt her cascading emotions flit before him so fast he could barely make out the new one before it changed again. Then they centered on two emotions, the very worst two possible emotions that she could ever feel together: rage and betrayal.
Koda moved forward to touch her and Dae flinched away from him, flipping herself over the bed before he understood what she was doing.
“Tell me this is a cruel joke. Tell me this is bullshit!” Dae whispered, her chest aching. Dae wasn’t a winner. She lost so much and she was just too stupid to notice.
A fool and his money are soon parted.
“You used me. You used what you knew against me. You didn’t have to… you didn’t have to use me. You lied. You lied with the truth over and over again. I’m just some fucking breeder.”
Koda was shocked. What was she talking about? He was debating on whether she would remove his eyes from their sockets if he shook her till her sense came back. Probably. How could she think that?
“Dae I could never–”
“Never. You like that word too much. You swore you would nev– Oh Gods, you swore you would never h-hurt me!”As if pulled out of thin air, Dae held a throwing knife and a bigger handled trekking knife pointed at him. He put his hands up in surrender, he didn’t know what the hell was going on but he needed to tread lightly.
“No. Dae you’re not thinking clearly just put the knives down.” He pleaded.
“More lies with the truth. You’re so good with them, you know. If things were different I would have asked you to teach me… how to be a cruel bastard. You do it so well but I –I could never be like you now.”
“Dae, you’re not making any sense. I didn’t lie. I have never lied to you, I swear–”
“You stole it from me! Did it make it better? Sweeter? Is that how your kind gets your jollies off?”
“Stole what Dae, I don’t understand!” Dae’s eyes were crazed. She had to calm down, he had to figure out what the hell was happening so he could calm her down.
“My HEART you bastard! ”
“Dae how can you believe that?!!” He looked and sounded anguished. Lies. More lies with the truth.
“’Like a thief in the night’ that’s Thessalonians. The bible on tape has many lessons, I was just too blind to see them. Oh it’s all very poetic, don’t you think? All this so I can be your breeding hybrid whatever you think I am and now that I know, I will kill you if you ever think to come near me. I would laugh if I could.”
“Dae, please listen to me. You’re not thinking clearly. You need to calm down, then you’ll see none of that is true. I didn’t lie to you, not once. You need to relax.” He saw it happening before his eyes. Dae’s skin started to pull this way and that way as her body prepared her for her first change. Koda was panicking; he had to have her calm down. “Listen to yourself. I don’t care that one day we can have kids. That’s not why I want you; that’s not why I love you!”
Dae shook her head, not believe his lie-truths. He must have lost his damn marbles. “I need to relax? You played me like your personal kazoo, making music whenever it was convenient. And you still lie to me with the truth. Its over. Your caught. Admit it! Tell me why!”
The tears fell down her face and Dae hated what she did to herself. If she was this stupid, she deserved the unbearable ache in her chest that spread to her whole body even if it killed her. Her hands felt funny and her grip on the knives loosened.
What the f–?
Once her tears spilled he went after her, not caring that she went to stab him with her knives. He knocked them out of her hands as he grabbed her struggling body in a tight bear hug. He couldn’t not hold her.
She was having her first shift; there was no stopping it. Her emotions were all over the place. She wasn’t thinking straight. The first change was disorienting.
There was no way Dae believed those things. No, uh uh. It was impossible. It was insane. Ridiculous. Crazy. It was exactly what he should have expected Dae to think when she found out. And how did she find out all of that?
Dae fought against Koda’s bigger body as he held her captive against his. Gods, this felt right. How could something that still felt so good be so bad? Her body shuddered and Dae felt hot and cold at the same time. Her teeth chattered while she wanted to rip all her clothes off. Dae wanted to scream but her mouth felt funny. It felt tight and narrow. Her teeth poked out of her lips but they weren’t right either. Her jaw locked tight together as her legs began to push back onto her abdomen.
Her whole body was one freezing, sweating, hot, aching mess. Her head and neck felt like someone head butted her or she head butted someone. Her vision shifted and things became so much clearer, sounds where amplified…
Oh Gods, she had no HANDS! Her hands were GONE! Where the fuck were her hands!
She tried to scream that question to Koda but all that came out was a howl. He still held her, whispering and growling nonsense in her ears that were no longer in the right place.
She wasn’t human. She had no arms, no thumbs… she had a tail and four legs. What the hell was she now?!
Koda rocked Dae all through her first shift. He told her that it was ok. That it was natural. But he felt her fear and her sadness. Dae whimpered and howled. Dae stopped fighting him some time after and lay limp in his arms as she cried. He had never realized that a wolf could cry in his whole 50 years.
Dae fell asleep soon after but he still rocked her. And even in her sleep he still felt her grief. Dae didn’t move, she hadn’t moved a muscle in over an hour. She stopped making sounds in her sleep. If Koda hadn’t felt her pain inside him, heard her heart beating and her ragged breathing he would have thought she had died in his arms.
The whole time he whispered to her everything he should have said before. He told her that it was all going to be ok. That he could never lie to her. He told her how sorry he was for not telling her. He told her that he wanted to tell her so many times but the timing had always been bad.
Then he told her how that last statement made him the liar she accused him of being. He told her he was sorry for being a selfish ass who had been too scared she would run from him when she found out and if she forgave him he would make it up to her every day of his miserable life.
He told her he wouldn’t ever leave her.
He told her that he was hers even if she didn’t want to be his.
He told her how much he loved her.
How she stole his heart the moment he saw her.
Like a thief in the night.
Twenty-six
Iya and Raj came back to the condo to find silence, which was strange. There was always some kind of growling going on
with wolves.
That was their thang.
Raj stepped in first, scenting the hallway. Iya guessed to make sure it was safe. She was getting pretty irritated with that behavior. Maybe she should Zap him again…
Iya almost giggled.
Daddy did so love to teach her how to use the gifts he gave her. He made her swear not to tell Momma so they didn’t get in trouble. Daddy was really slick that way, sort of like how Raj thought he was slick. That’s why she liked him. A wolf; her parents would have had coronaries if they were alive.
If they could have had coronaries…
Raj froze before they hit the bedroom she was using and faced her, motioning for her to go. Iya looked at him in confusion; she was not just going to leave. She needed to apologize to Dae. And to Koda, but she might be able to get away with not doing that last one.
Iya rolled her eyes and shook her head as Raj kept up with the sign language she didn’t understand.
“Listen; if she’s asleep I will wait till she wakes up ok? I’m not going to storm in her room. Koda might eat me.”
The frustrated look Raj gave her only made her giggle as she pushed past him to get to her bedroom. But oh no, Raj wanted to get Zapped again.
That’s what he called that particular Iya’s gift, which Daddy told her had the effect of a super static shock. It didn’t really hurt anybody, but it pretty much would Zap all their sense for a minute or two. Iya hadn’t used that gift since she was a kid. But since Iya realized Dae was not the only gifted person in the world, it made her want to use the gifts she hadn’t since her parents were alive. Dae wasn’t hiding, so Iya wasn’t going to either. They would figure this whole mess out together just like they were supposed to. Iya didn’t doubt fate had put them together for a reason.
Raj’s jaw locked as the Zap rang through his body. His muscles clenched and unclenched until the electricity Iya shocked him with evaporated. Iya had been doing that to him all day!
Damn crazy Nephilim woman…
It took almost a minute for his body to feel right again and by that time Iya was standing in the door way of her bedroom –exactly where he was telling her not to go– in shock.
Koda was holding a large multihued brown and black wolf with yellowish gold paws, rocking it back and forth. Koda didn’t look up, but Iya could see that he looked miserable. So had Dae known after all or…?
“She found your letters.” Koda whispered. Koda read some of what Iya and Raj had written back and forth to each other as he rocked his mate. The papers were in pieces on the floor but his vision picked up the half sentences that made Dae feel like he used her.
He wanted to be angry at Iya and Raj but knew it wasn’t their fault. It was his own fault.
Iya was knocked on her knees. She crawled over to Koda who still rocked Dae as she spoke. “Oh my God, this is Dae?” Iya couldn’t believe it.
Koda nodded. After all, he didn’t want to talk to Iya. He wanted to talk to his mate. He wanted to run with her on four legs and hunt together. He wanted to her to curl up next to his wolf form and rest, happily sated from eating a freshly killed deer.
“She found your letter and hasn’t changed back. She won’t talk to me.”
The look on Koda’s face almost broke Iya’s heart. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think she would come in here anymore. Oh God it’s my fault, I left the letters out. I thought if I knew about her, about the wolves, it would help. I only wanted to help. I am so sorry.” Iya’s voice broke and she had to fight her tears.
“No. Dae would have reacted this way regardless. I was a fool to think otherwise. She thinks I only want her to breed… She thinks I used her. What was in those letters?”
Iya swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I didn’t understand why their aren’t thousands of fatherless wolf children like there are fatherless human children. Raj was explaining that you guys can’t plant your seed and move on. That the only way to have pups is to have them with your mate. Oh God, I am so so sorry.”
Iya reached out for Dae and Koda glared at her. “I won’t hurt her, but I can make it better where it hurts her.”
Koda thought about that for a second and nodded, allowing her to try. He didn’t care what Iya did as long as his mate wasn’t in pain anymore. Iya touched Dae as she used her gift to sooth her.
Dae didn’t fight, she didn’t move a centimeter. She lay still and silent in her sleep but Koda felt the change. Where Dae had only pain it began to ease and her body relaxed more. Koda didn’t realize how tense her body was until it was fully relaxed. Koda looked up and saw that where Iya touched Dae, it glowed light like Iya’s hand also glowed light.
Iya shrugged at his silent question. “Side effect. It’s not going to hurt her. I’m making it so she won’t need me to hold her to feel better. Before I couldn’t do it that much… Dae might have noticed the light.”
Iya’s cell phone had chimed on her hip for the 15th time that day. Koda ignored the sound as he rocked Dae. Koda pretty much ignored Iya altogether after she used her gift on Dae.
Iya felt like she wasn’t supposed to be in the room; to know that your sister is loved and to see how much she was loved were two very different things. The moment felt to intimate to be shared with Iya and Raj in the room.
Iya made her way to the door and her phone chimed again. Raj growled behind her and Iya wanted Zap him again. His jealousy was getting tiresome. The whole trip to Iya’s condo he was growling unintelligible things in his weird wolf language every time her phone chimed.
It was Marcus calling her over and over again but Iya didn’t want to talk to him. Maybe he was calling to apologize. That made something warm inside Iya, but she wouldn’t get her hopes up. Iya had been hurt when he ignored her calls and stood her up for their day plans together. She told Raj that she didn’t want to talk to Marcus. She really didn’t and as odd as it sounded, Marcus had no place in their world. And there were things going on that were way more important than some guy. But did Raj listen? No.
Iya didn’t even look at her phone as she took it off her belt and tossed it on the table. Iya didn’t know what to do. She felt helpless even though she knew she had helped ease Dae’s pain. Raj walked around to come and sit next to her on the sofa but there was a knock at the door.
Raj looked like he wanted to kill whoever it was as he paused before opening it.
“You’re not welcome.” Raj snarled at their visitor. Crap, Iya had given Marcus the address before he started acting like a jerk. Iya jumped up to diffuse the situation but stopped when she heard an equally impressive snarl that couldn’t have been Marcus.
Great. More wolves.
Iya put her hand on her hip as Raj responded, “I don’t give a shit about rank. I’ll give the Alpha your pelt when I’m done with you.”
Iya had never heard Raj speak to or about anyone with such hatred as he spoke to this guy. The Cursed were coming a close second to amount of venom he had in his voice for this stranger. It worried Iya; Raj was care free, goofy, charming… he was vicious when he needed but this wasn’t right. The new wolf was big and ox-like, similar to Koda and Raj was but was leaner and shorter than both.
Iya got a bad feeling about him right away. Iya didn’t know if it was because she wouldn’t like anybody who made sweet Raj less sweet or if it was something else entirely. She knew this man’s coming was an omen. Sort of like seeing the fan twist right before its path hit the poop.
*Something wicked this way comes…*
Thank you mind whispers. The Macbeth reference really made things so much better. References of Shakespearian tragedies always do. What, didn’t have anything from Romeo & Juliet? Stupid stupid-sense.
All the wolves were pretty to look at but this wolf was the complete opposite of Raj’s rugged good looks. Iya thought he looked too pretty. Any other day Iya would have found him attractive but there was something that made her dislike him from first sight. Maybe it was the highlights in his hair or the magazine eyebrows. His eyes were g
reen like hers but his seemed to be green with…
*Envy… *
Yeah, don’t try to make it better, stupid-sense, the score is still 0 for 3,678.
The pretty wolf unattractively sneered. “Big words for a lowly whelp–”
“Who is this?” Iya said with her most impressive attitude. Today was not the day to mess with her. Her sister was hurting –on four legs– her sister’s mate was about to lose his mind and now this guy was making Raj an even bigger cranky beast. Iya had enough. There was only so much a positive attitude could take on before any sane person snapped.
The pretty wolf turned to her and his eyes went wide before he fixated his face into a calm mask. Huh. Either Iya’s reputation preceded her –not very likely– or pretty wolf knew what she was. And that irritated Iya. All that Nephilim baloney did.
“I am Rain, next in line for–”
“Oh my God, I was not talking to you.” Iya eyed Raj until he glanced at her. He hadn’t taken his eyes off pretty wolf and refused to move his big muscular arm out of the way. The only reason she could see pretty wolf was because he was so tall and she was not.
“Koda’s brother. He’s not welcome here.” Raj spoke to Iya but glared at Rain.
“I am welcome wherever I chose you bottom feeding–”
“Excuse ME!” Iya Zapped Raj and pushed his arm away while he was still trying to make his brain function. Iya faced Rain and stared him down. He looked amused until her poking finger made contact with his chest, Zapping him too. But this time instead of thinking of static shock like Daddy told her to, she thought about a downed-power-line. Rain turned rigid as he felt the impact.
“Listen to me, I am not having a good day. My sister is stuck or frozen or something on four legs for the first time, her mate –your brother– one of the sweetest wolf people I know is almost dying of heart break, and I have heard more jealous growling today than I ever cared to hear in my life! You keep up with this holier than thou big man crap and I will Zap you until your toes permanently curl!” Iya screeched in his face, her finger still jammed against his chest.
Lost & Found (A Lost Ones Novel Book 1) Page 32