The Maddie Diaries

by Maddie Ziegler

  Teen Choice Awards, 2013–16. We’ve gone every year, first as a cast, and then as individual nominees. I was voted Choice Dancer in 2016, which meant I got to take home the surfboard (which is so cool, and kinda heavy, BTW). I also got to do this cute skit with Cat Deeley where we pretended to be judging hosts Victoria Justice and John Cena on their dancing skills. I used to watch Victorious on TV when I was younger, so that was really wild . . .

  People’s Choice Awards, 2016. I was in this category, DailyMail.com’s Seriously Popular Award, nominated with Kylie Jenner, Ruby Rose, Cara Delevingne, and Bella Thorne. And I won. That is just insane! My friends were all texting me: “You beat Kylie Jenner? OMG!”

  Ballerina, coming out in 2017. I got to voice a character in this animated movie, which was a lot of fun. I had to go into a sound booth and watch the character on the screen and then get my voice to match her lips. It’s called ADR, which stands for automated dialogue replacement (in case you were wondering!). It was so much fun, and Elle Fanning is starring in it. It takes place in 1884 at the Opera Ballet School, and I play the spoiled mean girl. I can’t wait to see how it turns out on-screen!

  The Dizzy Feet Foundation’s Celebration of Dance Gala, 2016. It’s the dance event of the fall, and I got to perform at it with Travis Wall. I love what Dizzy Feet does: They support dance education programs for kids in low-income areas and provide scholarships so they can take classes. You hear these people talking about how if it weren’t for Dizzy Feet, they’d be on the street or selling drugs. It’s really powerful and it felt amazing to be a part of it. Dance changed their lives. Also, you see so many celebs come out to support it: This year, they honored Derek and Julianne Hough from Dancing with the Stars, so I got to hang with two of my idols.

  Time magazine’s “The 30 Most Influential Teens of 2015.” This was such an honor—and kind of surreal, because that list included entrepreneurs, gold medalists, TV stars, someone who invented a test for the Ebola virus, Kylie and Kendall Jenner, Zendaya, Shawn Mendes, Bethany Mota, Bindi Irwin, Malia Obama, and Silentó—the guy who did “Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae).” Very, very cool to be included among this group.

  Fashion dolls, 2016. So when I did the “Broken Dolls” number on Dance Moms in 2014, I never actually imagined I would one day be a doll! A toy company, Jazwares, created these adorable fashion dolls of me and Kenzie. They’re so cute—they come with their little mini dance bags for the studio. The process was actually pretty intense: We took tons of pictures showing our faces from all angles, and the company created these cute little clay prototypes and kept tweaking them till they looked just like us. I love that mine has on character shoes!

  Industry Dance Awards, 2016. Kenzie presented me with the 2016 Breakthrough Performer Award. She called me “smart, beautiful, and talented” and said I worked really hard. I had no idea about the speech she was giving—so I thanked her for being nice! Then choreographer Mandy Moore surprised me and came up after my acceptance speech to hug me. She said, “I love this little lady so much,” which made me blush. It was such a special moment, and I love Mandy so much, too.

  Memories of Maddie

  “We met the Zieglers at a meet-and-greet more than five years ago. The show wasn’t a phenomenon yet, and my daughter Lilia and Maddie really clicked. Every time they would come to L.A., we would see them, or we would go visit them in Pittsburgh. They would stay with us often; the girls became like sisters, and the Zieglers became our second family. We have so many fun memories, too many to count. Melissa and I call each other ‘Sister Wives'! I remember one time, I took Maddie and Lilia to Craig’s, which is a neighborhood restaurant. The paparazzi were outside, taking pictures of us going inside—they recognized Maddie from TV. We sat down in a booth, and the girls noticed someone in the seat directly next to ours—it was Kris Jenner and she was FaceTiming one of her daughters, Khloé or Kim or Kourtney. Lilia and Maddie were dying! They tried sneaking over and were huddled in a corner of the booth, trying to spy on her. In Maddie’s mind, the Kardashians were the famous ones, not her.

  “But that’s Maddie. She’s the most humble, grounded kid you will ever meet. And she has the cutest sense of humor. We have a whiteboard on my fridge where we write our grocery list: ‘Eggs, bread, milk.’ One day she writes on the list, ‘Zac Efron.’ The housekeeper goes shopping and comes home completely perplexed.

  “ ‘I couldn’t find this,’ she says, pointing to the last item. ‘What is Zac Efron?’ Like it was a spice or a breakfast cereal! We all had a great laugh over it.

  “When Maddie leaves, she puts little notes in our cabinets: ‘We will miss you! Love you, Lilia! Jack is great!’ My sixteen-year-old son is like a big brother to her. We find these little ‘Maddie missives’ everywhere and they make us smile.

  “I have to say, I’m really impressed by her. Having been in Hollywood for thirteen years, you see a lot of young stars that can’t handle fame. She’s wise beyond her years, and she handles it beautifully and graciously and wisely. She is respectful and appreciative of every opportunity and takes nothing for granted. She’s stayed true to her real friends and has never been swayed by the trappings that often come with this life. She loves what she does. She loves dancing, and that comes through; it’s pure joy to her. She doesn’t want to go to every party or get free stuff or rub elbows with celebrities—she’s remarkably modest and polite.

  “We tease her, ‘We’re going to start fining you a quarter for every time you apologize!’ It’s true—she’s always saying, ‘Sorry.’ She’ll ask, ‘Can I have some milk with my cereal—I’m sorry.’ She never wants to be a burden or a bother.

  “I think she gets a lot of her kind heart from her mom. The Buckinghams have gone through some difficult times, and Melissa and the girls have supported us and loved us more than just family friends—it shows the kind of people that they are. Good people are good people, and they are the best kind of people: real, genuine, loving.”

  —Jane Buckingham, family friend

  “So when I first met Maddie I was a little intimidated. I mean, she was the girl from Dance Moms . . . hello? We went outside and ate pizza and played a game. She was the most humble girl and we bonded immediately—we were both about eight years old. I consider her my best friend. When she stays in my house, we watch romance movies and cry. I’m proud to say I introduced her to The Notebook.

  “ ‘What do you mean you’ve never seen it?’ I asked her. ‘You have to see it!’ So we watched it and sobbed our eyes out. We love to go to Katsuya and just sit around with each other—we make each other laugh. She painted me a painting for two hours and I loved just watching her. We don’t talk about dance too much—if she’s excited about something like Sia, I’ll hear about it, but it doesn’t ever really come up. Instead, it’s more girl talk. She knows all of my school drama—she’s like my sister in that way. I tell her everything.

  “I miss her a lot when she’s gone. She stayed with us for two weeks and that was amazing. She slept in my room and kept me up all night gabbing. It always goes something like this:

  “ ‘All right, good night, Lilia.’ Pause. ‘Wait! Guess what!’ Then we’re up for an hour talking about something completely random. I feel like we never run out of things to say to each other. People always ask me what’s it like to be friends with Maddie. Well, it’s great, because she’s one of the best people I’ve ever met. She’s as loyal and down-to-earth as she was before all of this fame happened. In fact, I think it’s made her a better person: She doesn’t take anything for granted, and she is so grateful and kind to everyone.

  “Some of the stuff that has happened to her . . . oh my gosh, it’s crazy. Melissa gave me and my mom the Maddie and Kenzie dolls before they came out. Dolls! Like little Barbies! Who has a doll of themselves? We would take them and put them in back of the car and send the Zieglers a photo: ‘Taking the girls to school!’ We’d sit them at the kitchen table: ‘Breakfast with the girls.’ It was pretty hilarious.

  “Sinc
e Maddie has moved out to L.A. part-time I’ve gotten to see her more. But with the Sia tour, it’s been hard. She’s all over the country and so, so busy. We text, we FaceTime, we Snapchat. There isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t. I went to see her perform at the Hollywood Bowl. When she first appeared onstage, my mom and I were dying: ‘It’s our little Maddie!’ We had such a feeling of pride. I told her, ‘I want to make you a giant sign with your face on it and hold it up from the audience.’ She was like, ‘Don’t! It’ll creep me out! I don’t want to look out there and see me!’

  “What I love most about Maddie is her heart. The first time she came to stay with us, I was going through kind of a hard time. We went to dinner, and she leaned across the table and said, ‘If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m here.’ She meant it. She’s someone who is fiercely loyal. And she scream-sings at me whenever I am freaking out. She is so talented at everything—acting, dancing . . . but not singing. Not at all. So we will make these crazy videos whenever I’m stressed out before a test. She embraces the fact that she can’t sing and really goes for it—you have to hold your ears. We have our greatest hits: ‘In the Name of Love’ by Martin Garrix and ‘Higher’ by Rihanna. She can really rap, and you don’t need to be in tune for that. Actually, I want to rap-battle her! I think we need to put that on our to-do list . . .” —Lilia Buckingham, Maddie’s BFF

  Dear Maddie

  I feel like I’m always eating junk. I’m so busy—what can I eat on the run?

  I’m big on protein bars—there is always an assortment in my bag along with a banana and a big bottle of water. They’re my go-to “on the go” snacks. If I have more time, I might pack a small container of blueberries or chopped strawberries and some granola. I know a lot of people eat Greek yogurt on the run. It’s super healthy and full of protein, but I’ve never liked it very much. Unless it’s key lime flavor—that one I love. If I’m at dance and I need to grab dinner, my mom will bring me a grilled chicken breast and some broccoli. You can also do a roll-up of turkey with some cheese. The point is to prepare ahead of time, so you’re not hitting the vending machine for candy or the drive-thru for a double cheeseburger and fries. If you stock up your home with healthy snacks, you’ll be able to eat on the run much healthier.

  I think this girl in my studio is a terrible dancer, and she just got the lead in our studio showcase. I don’t understand! I’m so much better than her, and it makes me mad.

  The best dancers don’t always get the biggest parts. That’s just how it goes. You may be technically a better dancer than she is, but maybe she is more “suited” to the part—like maybe she’s a good actor, or has a great work ethic, or she’s simply the right height or fits the costume better. Try not to take it personally and keep working hard—it won’t go unnoticed. Sometimes you don’t know what a choreographer or teacher is looking for. This time, whatever it was, she had it. There will be other opportunities for you to shine.

  I messed up big-time. We were doing a jazz group dance at a competition, and I totally blanked and forgot the steps. I ruined the dance for everyone and we lost. Now I’m worried my team is going to hate me!

  If you’re a team, they won’t blame or hate you. It happens to everyone. I’ve forgotten my steps; every single girl on my team has. Don’t feel guilty, and don’t assume that you’re the reason for losing; other people may have messed up, too. So you didn’t win? So what? Next time you’ll do better—think of this as a chance to learn from your mistakes. Why did you forget the steps? Did you practice enough? Get enough sleep the night before? Did you get nervous onstage? Figure it out so you can fix it, then move on.

  Today Is a Beautiful Day to . . .

  Do something sporty—even if it’s from the sidelines. I would never turn down going to a Pittsburgh Pirates game with my girls!

  Say thank you. People need to hear it. On Mother’s Day, I posted “Thank you for everything you do!” on my Insta account and my mom got all mushy. But you don’t need a holiday to show your appreciation. Today, pick one person who does something for you and tell them you’re grateful. Even the nice lady who makes your smoothie at the juice store!

  Make a dessert date with a friend. Personally, my fave one involves creating, not just eating—I go to Duff’s Cakemix in L.A. and decorate cakes. Kalani and I are experts! But it’s also a lot of fun to just drive to the local Dairy Queen for a sweet treat or bake brownies in your kitchen.

  The day I saw the tweet I thought it was a joke. Sia Furler, this huge pop star from Australia, reached out to me—me!—and asked if I wanted to be in her next video. It literally said, “Hey Maddie, you want to be in my next video? Melissa, my people are trying to get in touch . . .”

  I held it up to show my mom: “I don’t believe this. I mean, it can’t be real, right?”

  But it was real: Sia had seen me on Dance Moms and was a fan of the show and specifically my dancing. We got in touch with her and I flew out to L.A. two weeks later. I had no idea what to expect—I was eleven at the time, and I’d never done anything like this before. I had heard her song “Chandelier,” and I assumed I’d be one of several background dancers. I also thought that swinging from a chandelier might be involved (which kind of sounded fun). When I got to the rehearsal space, I was shocked that no one else was there to learn the choreography. “You mean it’s just me?” I asked. “No one else is dancing?” I looked at the set, a long dark hallway and an abandoned apartment: “Can someone go in there with me?” I was a little creeped out. What did I get myself into? I mean, where was the chandelier? Where were the people? Why were the rugs all stained and ripped?

  Then the choreographer, Ryan Heffington (who is an absolute genius!), went through the moves and talked me through what he and Sia were envisioning. He used words like haunted and hoarders. Hmmm . . . It felt strange to be doing something that didn’t involve pointed toes and perfect legs. They actually wanted me to look crazy and off-balance. And the faces I had to make? Well, they were freaky. One was called “hissing cat.” At first, I worried I’d look weird and people would laugh. But Ryan encouraged me to let go and get out of my head. I wasn’t Maddie; I was playing a character, and this character kicked her feet and pulled her hair and beat her fists and made crazy eyes. The dancing had to feel crazy as well—Ryan mentioned “manic.” He told me this was “my” world and I was stuck here, trapped, but it was also familiar to me—I knew every corner, every inch. I cannot thank Ryan enough for introducing me to the coolest style of dance—he’s helped me grow like no one else. Ryan’s assistant choreographer, Denna Thomsen, was also amazing—I look up to her so much.

  They had planned on rehearsing for four days, but I learned the dance in just a few hours. Then Sia came into the rehearsal space to watch. She was so funny—a real Dance Moms fangirl. She screamed when she saw me and said, “I can’t believe you’re here and I’m hugging you!” I wasn’t even sure it was her at first—I’d never seen her face in any recent photos. People think she covers her face all the time, but that’s only when she’s in public. When she’s just hanging out, there is no wig or paper bag—just her sweet, smiley face. From that first moment when we met, we felt an instant connection—like we’d known each other all our lives. I can’t explain it—we just get each other. And when I showed her the dance, she cried—so I knew I had done something right. A few weeks later she said, “You want to do my next two videos with me?” It was the beginning of an amazing collaboration and friendship.

  Now I’m totally comfortable making the crazy faces! You ask me to roll my eyes, grit my teeth, stick out my tongue—not a prob! On Ellen, when I did “Elastic Heart,” I didn’t move my legs at all (I was standing in a big white box). There were all these little girls behind me in the Sia wigs, tucked into white boxes, so all you could see were their heads lip-synching along. Ellen must have been like, “Whoa, what is this?” But she and Sia are pals and she’s had us on a lot of times and loves Sia. She knows she’s never going to bring on something bor
ing! In this case, it was all about the crazy face. Same with the “Big Girls Cry” video—it’s shot from the waist up (except for the few seconds when I’m hanging there kicking in the air), with me pushing and pulling my cheeks, lips, and eyes and staring at the camera.

  I’ve gotten really good at not being self-conscious about it. It’s kind of a funny thing to put on a résumé (“does good crazy face”), but it’s acting, because there’s a lot of emotion that’s behind those faces. It’s telling a story: We choreograph my face. It isn’t just random or silly. Sia and Ryan always make sure I am comfortable with all the choreography and they always value my input.

  Wigging Out

  People are always asking me about the wigs I wear when I work with Sia. So here are some fun facts . . .

  The one I wore on the Grammys’ red carpet is different from the one in the videos. It’s thicker—I want to say “pouffier.” My hairstylist Tonya actually had to crimp it with an iron and spray it with an entire can of hair spray. As big as mine was, Sia’s was bigger . . . and heavier . . . and so thick she couldn’t see through it. I had to literally guide her around the red carpet. I was like her seeing-eye dog for the night!

  It takes a gazillion pins to keep it in place. I’m always worried it’s going to fall off, so we go a little crazy securing it. First we braid my hair; then we wrap those braids and pin them on top of my head. Then I put on a wig cap. The wig gets pinned into the cap and the “nest” of braids we’ve created under it to anchor it all. Last count, I think we used 150 pins, but I might be off by a dozen or so. But if I flipped and it fell off, that would be awful.