The Royal Shifters Complete Series Boxed Set
Page 18
Again, a pang of jealousy rises in me. If they chose to, they could have any of the women here. Any of them except me. I’m off limits, and not because I want to be.
Somehow, Li and Roan have both managed to lace their pants, although the fit is more than a little snug. So much for the clothes being a little big. You wouldn’t think such a basic set of clothing could look so appealing, but I suddenly can’t imagine them looking better in anything else. I need to get dressed, too. I carefully shift the clothing over to my injured arm and then take the bucket of water in my hand. Looking around for a secluded place to strip down, my eyes finally catch on a set of sheets hung out to dry. It’ll have to do.
“Will you need help?” Li asks, looking at my arm.
“I’ll manage.”
I make my way behind the hanging laundry, set the bucket down, and take my first real look at the dress that Lena has given me. It’s lovely. The gown itself is made of good linen, white and sleeveless, but it’s the tunic that gives me pause. Robin egg blue, it’s embroidered with small, delicate stitches in white thread. All my life I’ve been adorned with fine dresses, but there’s something exceptional about this one. My thumb caresses the embroidery as I try to pinpoint why this dress seems so different.
I peek around to make sure no one can see me, and then I ease my arm out of the sling. I’m surprised to find my arm is no longer in any pain. I roll my shoulder to make sure. Li really is a miracle worker. I dip the cleanest corner of my dress into the water and scrub at my face and then down my neck and body. Even without soap, I already feel much more myself. I decide against wetting my hair—too much hassle.
“Supper,” a voice calls out.
My stomach growls. Carefully, I slip the white gown on first and then the tunic. I wish I had a mirror, and a proper bath. I feel guilty wearing something so pretty when I still feel so filthy, but there’s not much I can do about that now. Besides, I have to be grateful for what I do have. Moreover, I’m starving and supper is waiting.
Emerging from behind the hanging sheets, I stroll over to the fire to join Li and Roan.
Before I can reach them, Lena gasps and runs over to me. “It’s even more beautiful than I remembered,” she says, taking my hand in hers and leading me away from my men to sit with her.
Roan’s face twitches, but he moves to sit with a group of men, much to the disappointment of several of the ladies. Li looks my way, running his hand through his hair with a look of exasperation before taking a plate, piling it high with meat and vegetables, and then turning and heading toward the edge of the camp. I can actually hear the collective sigh of disappointment from the young women this time. I’m not sure why Li is walking away, but then I see a flash of white at the edge of camp. Ero. Well, at least we’ll all be fed tonight.
“Doesn’t she look lovely?” Lena says drawing my attention.
“Indeed, my dear,” says Louis.
I turn to face him, a thank you on my lips, but it immediately falls away. Lena and Louis are smiling warmly at me, the light from the fire dancing happily across their faces, but it’s what’s in Louis’s arms that swells my heart. Wrapped in swaddling clothes is the tiniest baby I’ve ever seen.
“This,” says Louis, carefully handing the babe over to Lena, “is our most precious treasure, Emilie.”
“Would you like to hold her?” Lena asks as she coos at Emilie.
“I…I’ve never held a baby,” I say nervously.
“Oh, then I insist,” Lena says as she carefully places Emilie in my arms. I look down at the small, round face peeking out of the swaddling clothes. Her large eyes look back up at me and she smiles.
“She’s lovely,” I say, not daring to move for fear of dropping the tiny being.
Louis laughs. “I think she’s had enough, Lena. The poor girl is paralyzed with fear. Don’t torture her too long. Besides, she must be starving.”
Lena gently removes Emilie from my arms as Louis places a heaping plateful of food in my now empty hands. Taking a boiled wild carrot, I bite into it and a warm tingling shoots down my spine. Since when do carrots taste so sweet? I quickly devour it and reach for the portion of meat on my plate. Pheasant. It hasn’t been marinated in spices like it would have been back at the castle, and it’s even perhaps a bit dry, but it’s still the most delicious meat I’ve ever tasted. As I finish off the last morsel, I feel my stomach start to grow tight.
I pause to breathe and look around, a cheery glow cast on the faces surrounding me. They’re all chatting away happily with each other, and it’s only now that I notice they have far smaller portions of food than Louis gave me and my companions.
My face grows hot with shame as I realize how little they actually have and how easy it was for them to share everything with three complete strangers. The knot of guilt in my stomach forces what remaining appetite I have to disappear altogether. Glancing over at Lena and Louis, I see they’ve taken the smallest portions of all, and a lump rises in my throat. Aside from Rosa and Luca, these may just be the kindest people I’ve ever met.
Turning to Lena, I touch her gently on the arm. “Lena, please, I’m so full. Would you mind finishing the rest?”
“Absolutely not. You need to nourish yourself!”
“Please, I beg you. I’ve spent the past few days surviving on a mostly empty stomach. It’s now quite tight with food.”
I can tell Lena is still hungry, but she’s too kindhearted to accept.
“If not for yourself, at least take it for your baby,” I say hoping that will relieve whatever guilt she might feel.
“Lena, dear,” Louis says, “who are we to deny a gift from a guest?”
I smile at Louis in thanks as Lena reluctantly takes the remainder of my food.
“You’re just as kind as I had hoped,” Lena says. “Mother would be proud for you to have that dress. Thank you.” Her eyes water and she quickly bows her head to eat, but more so that I won’t see her tears.
A melody starts up on the other side of the fire as one of the men begins playing a hurdy-gurdy. The tune is very different from those I’ve heard played in court, rough and unrefined, but in a way that causes my heart to pound and the hairs on my arms to stand on end. And then a voice joins the instrument. I’m enthralled by the duet. The woman’s voice is strong and clear, but raw and full of depth. Not in the airy way that I was taught to sing.
Several of the other members of the troupe start to stomp their feet and clap to the rhythm. The young ladies jump up and twirl and dance around the fire. I find myself smiling widely and clapping along until one of the girls spins by and pulls me to my feet to join her.
I’ve danced before, in royal court settings, but never in the carefree way these women do. I nervously watch as their feet kick, turn, and move in wild freedom. Another girl laughs, grabbing my hands and spinning me with her. I smile widely as she lets go of me, allowing me to throw myself into the music, forgetting the carefully planned dance steps I’d been taught since the day I could walk and letting myself dance freely for the first time in my life.
I let the music carry me, and it isn’t long until the world around me fades and it’s just me and the music. An arm wraps around my waist and I’m brought back to my senses as a large hand grasps my own. I look up into gorgeous green eyes. Roan.
He leads me through a flowing dance around the fire, our eyes fixed on each other.
“You dance beautifully, lass,” Roan murmurs.
Part of me wants to reprimand him for interjecting himself into my dance, but the rest of me sinks into his embrace and the serenity of the moment. I’m not sure how long we’ve been dancing, but we stop far sooner than I would have liked as the music fades away.
Roan smiles at me.
“I hope you’ll forgive me for earlier. Sometimes I forget my own strength around you. As small as you are, you have a fierce personality that makes you appear sturdier than you are.”
“Are you calling me fat?”
Roan’s fa
ce falls and his eyes grow wide in shock. “Of course not. I…I would never…I mean, not that it would bother me if you were, but I’d never comment—”
I grin mischievously and watch as Roan finally realizes that I’m teasing him.
“See. This is exactly what I was talking about. You little minx.”
Roan’s hands gently grasp my upper arms as he leans down and kisses my forehead, sending a tingle down my spine.
The clearing of a throat behind us causes us to step apart.
“And now, perhaps a story?” Louis says, his eyes questioning Lena.
“I don’t see why not,” Lena says.
The troupe cheers and the children run to sit by Lena’s feet. She positions herself and the now suckling Emilie more comfortably on the log and begins weaving a tale. Roan and I move to sit on a log nearby.
I understand why Louis’ critique of my own story, although true, found me lacking. Lena has a silver tongue, and it isn’t long before I am completely enthralled by her story and feel as though I’m part of it as well. Although her story is pure fantasy, she is able to bring so much life into it, I’m certain I’d believe her if she told me I had three eyes.
A nudge wrenches me from the flow of Lena’s story and I look over in annoyance to find Louis. I quickly try to readjust my expression, but Louis just grins and pats my shoulder reassuringly as he takes a seat beside me.
“Fantastic, isn’t she?”
I nod, speechless.
“I’ll never forget the first time I saw her. I was on my way back to my studies when hunger forced me to stop in a small town for the night. Upon entering the local tavern, I heard a voice. Her voice. It was unlike anything I’d ever heard before. Like running water over smooth pebbles. A molten, liquid silver that burned stories into your mind as if they were your own memories. I forgot my hunger and sat enraptured as she spun tales unlike any I had ever heard. Her eyes were like twinkling stars. I’d never met anyone with so much passion for something. Not in my studies, not at home, not in my travels. It was then that I realized how much of my life I had wasted. She changed me for the better, and she’ll never know how thankful I am for her.”
“You knew she was the one for you, just like that?”
“Oh, no. I was only seventeen at the time and never expected her to give me the time of day. When she finished storytelling for the evening, I left in a daze to find a room and headed out the next morning.”
I shiver and Roan gently pulls me closer to his side. Looking around, I see Lin watching Lena but can tell he’s not really listening. I still don’t know where Ero has run off to.
“I never made it back to the monastery and my studies. The longer I rode, the more I couldn’t put Lena from my mind. I wanted the same fervor for life that she had, and as thankful as I was for my education, I knew theology was not going to give me what I wanted.”
“You studied theology? I would never have guessed,” I say.
“Funny, isn’t it? Life has a way of making fools of us all…and for me, quite literally,” Louis says with a chuckle. “Instead of going back to the monastery, I sought out and joined a traveling troupe. At first, I loved it. I was assigned the role of the fool and learned a great number of tricks and skills over the two years I was with them, but I was never allowed to use them. I grew frustrated with the monotony and so, after a time, I decided I would leave and start my own troupe. One in which people could use their skills and passions to their heart’s content, where people could come and go, learn and grow, and be accepted.”
“Your parents raised you to have a good head on your shoulders,” Roan says.
“I wish they felt the same way,” says Louis. “I went home after leaving my first troupe for a visit, but once they realized I had been traveling with a troupe for the past two years and hadn’t returned to my studies, I was disowned. My heart was broken, and it was by mere happenstance, or perhaps fate’s own hand, that I found myself supping in the same tavern where I had first heard Lena’s stories. I was lost in my own self-pity when her voice rang out through the room. It was only then that I realized I needed her. Together, we could bring joy to everyone around us. That is, if she would have me.”
“I think we know how that ended,” Roan says with a grin.
“I don’t think I’ve ever met two people more perfect for each other,” I say.
“Except for us,” Roan says with a playful nudge.
Louis gives looks at us with raised eyebrows.
“No, no. It’s not like that. They’re not my lovers,” I say hastily. Perhaps too hastily.
Roan shrugs, but I can tell he’s bothered. Even Li seems to have gone slightly rigid.
“They?” Louis repeats. “But one is? Or perhaps you meant you’re considering more than one. An interesting concept.”
I laugh nervously but wonder at my slip of the tongue. Until now, the idea of having all three of them had been overwhelming my thoughts, but I hadn’t really considered the possibility. Would they ever be okay with sharing me if it came to that? Or would I have to choose? I had never met another woman with more than one lover…at least not openly.
We sit in silence, listening to the story as the fire dies down and the night grows darker. I’m not sure how long it’s been when Lena’s voice quiets and we all slowly emerge from the dream-like spell she’s cast on us.
“Perhaps time for sleep, my dear,” Louis says quietly.
“Yes, of course. We all have a great deal to do tomorrow and far to travel. Louis, please make sure our guests have comfortable sleeping arrangements. I will excuse myself and Emilie.”
Lena crosses and kisses Louis softly on the forehead before smiling at Roan and me and making her way back to their caravan.
Louis surveys the sky for a moment. “It looks like it will be a calm, warm night. I will collect some of our extra blankets and leave the preparations for sleep up to you…and them.” Louis gives Roan and me a mischievous wink before getting up and heading off toward a set of chests.
As soon as Louis is gone, Li walks over and takes his place. “I’m not sure we should stay the night.”
“Why not?” I ask.
“I’ve had Ero scouting the area.”
“Has he found something?” Roan asks.
“No, but I have an ominous feeling about this.”
“We can’t make decisions based on feelings,” I say. “Besides, this may be our only chance at a relatively good night’s sleep until we make it to Scotland.”
“That’s true, but—”
“But nothing. We need rest. I need rest, Li.”
Roan and Li exchange a look.
“We can take turns on lookout,” says Roan.
Li’s nose flares, but he nods and stands as Louis returns with a stack of blankets.
“I hope this will do.”
“It’s fine. Thank you. Good night,” says Li.
There’s a palpable tension in the air now, and I’m certain Louis can feel it as well. He smiles uncomfortably at us and then turns and heads back to his caravan.
I stand and take a blanket from Li. Unfolding it, I shake it out a comfortable distance from the fire.
“Can we at least sleep somewhere a bit less…open?” Li growls.
I know I shouldn’t be annoyed, but Li has become more like a commanding, high-strung general than anything else and it’s really getting on my nerves. He means well, I think, but it’s coming off rude rather than caring. Biting my tongue to keep from giving him a piece of my mind, I roll the blanket up in my arms once again.
“Over here,” Li says, and Roan and I follow him to a spot just outside the camp.
It’s not as comfortable as it would have been by the fire, but I can see why he chose it. It’s far enough away that we can’t be easily spotted from anywhere within the camp. The brush is dense enough to form a type of wall as well as a fair warning if anyone approaches from behind. The grass is also thick and comfortable. I won’t admit it, but it’s a good spot.
Li and Roan make quick work of the bedding, creating a comfortable bed for us to lay on. Lying down, a wave of exhaustion washes over me. I hadn’t realized just how worn out I was until now. Every inch of me aches. A rustling sound startles me, and I shoot into a sitting position only to see a white leopard step out of the trees a few yards away. I breathe a sigh of relief and lie back down as Ero comes over to join us, sitting on the grass at the edge of our makeshift bed.
“I’ll take first watch,” Roan offers.
“No.”
“Li, you have to rest. Out of the four of us, you’ve slept the least these past days. If you don’t rest soon, Annalise’s life will be in even greater danger.”
Li frowns but nods in agreement. “You’re right, but wake me as soon as the moon is directly overhead.”
Li drops to the ground beside me, rolling his head and shoulders before lying down. I notice his feet. I glance over at Roan’s and then back to Li’s. They have absolutely huge feet, but it’s not that. I’ve had shoes all of this time, but I’ve only just realized they’ve been walking barefoot. Not a single complaint, yet their feet are bruised and beaten. I wonder if they’d fare better traveling as leopards. I feel bad for being annoyed with any of them. They’ve been trying so hard to take care of me, yet I’ve been the one complaining and moody. Some queen I’d make.
I shift on the bed and grab one of Li’s feet, placing it on the blanket in my lap. He lifts his head to look at me in surprise as I begin to massage his foot as carefully as I can.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Shh! I want to. Just enjoy it and try to get some sleep.”
Li raises an eyebrow at me. “Then you might as well put a bit more power into it.”
“Excuse me?” I say, grinding my knuckles into the arch of his foot with a vengeance.
“Yes, just like that,” Li says with a snort before lying back down. “You told me to enjoy it.”
“If I knew you were giving out foot massages, I wouldn’t have taken first watch,” Roan says with a playful pout.