He squeezed my fingers. “You deserve to be happy, Rachel,” he said softly. “Mom,” he amended even softer.
I pulled him into a hug and he cuddled beside me on the bed. “You make me happy,” I told him as I kissed the top of his head. “Every day, in every way.”
“Good,” he said. “Because I have a favor.”
“Oh?”
“I actually have one more surprise. But I need your help pulling it off.”
This piqued my interest. Before I could ask, he hopped off the bed and darted from the room. When he returned, he was carrying an acoustic guitar. He grinned as he perched back on the bed.
“Where’d you get that?”
“Uncle Alex gave it to me,” he said. “So I could play for the baby.”
Tears sprang into my eyes. It was such an Alex thing for him to do. “How can I help, Jonathan? I don’t know how to play.”
“Alex does,” he said softly. “He was teaching me.” He plucked at the strings. “After Mom broke up with Derek, she and I went to stay with Alex. You know how he plays for Max?” I nodded. “I told him I wished he could play for the new baby and he suggested I should. We started lessons that night. I don’t think Mom was very happy about it,” he added. “She and Uncle Alex fought a lot before she finally left for New York with some of her friends.”
“They fought?” I repeated, and he nodded. “What about?” He shrugged. I knew he knew, but he didn’t want to tell me. “Jonathan.”
He looked away. “You.”
I gulped. “I see.”
“Mom thinks that she’ll lose custody now that you married my dad. She blamed Alex for bringing you back out to California. She said he ruined everything. That he always ruins everything. He tried to defend you, but that only made her madder. She said awful things,” he added with a slight shudder. “He bunked with me and Max until she finally made other arrangements.”
“I see,” I said again.
“Things were better after she left. That’s when we did another campout. He started teaching me guitar. It was great,” he drifted off sadly. “Like last summer.”
I nodded. Last summer had been pretty great despite it all. “I still don’t know what you need me to do, Jonathan.”
“You brought Dad and Alex together last year,” he said hopefully. “You can do it again.”
I closed my eyes and rested my head back on the pillows. If only he knew. “Jonathan…”
“It can be good, you know it can,” he urged. “You can fix it. Like you fixed me. Like you fixed Dad.”
I chuckled mirthlessly. “It’s not that simple, sweetie. No one can just change anyone else. They have to want to change.”
His bright blue eyes bore into mine. “Make them want to.” Before I could say anything, he went on. “You’re a Fullerton now. This is your family, too. We can make it right. I know we can. Please.”
I sighed. “I’m not going to make this promise, Jonathan. I can’t. But,” I added when his chin fell, “I’ll do what I can.”
He smiled. “That’s all any of us can do. Right?”
“Right,” I agreed. I cuddled under the blanket as I listened to him play the simple tune, “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.” I drifted to sleep thinking of cozy campfires, harmonicas and two little boys torn apart by decades of pain.
And just like Sisyphus, the boulder once again landed at my feet at the bottom of the hill.
Chapter Six
True to his word, Drew had arranged a hearing before the judge to re-evaluate Jonathan’s custody arrangement by the following Friday. The only surprise was that Elise didn’t bother to show. She was still vacationing in the Empire State, and didn’t feel the need to rush right back considering she had no intention to contest the changes. It seemed that now that she was a free-wheeling single with a little more money in her pocket, she was willing to whittle her motherhood role down to the weekends, making the new arrangement the most amicable since the divorce.
In fact, everything was handled within twenty minutes, leaving us free for the afternoon. Drew suggested we head out to the Getty to see the new exhibit, and Jonathan was beside himself with excitement to go.
He had taken his sketchbook along with him to the courthouse, so he was fully prepared to sketch his favorite finds from one of our favorite places. He planted himself in the grass in the sculpted garden to draw all the natural beauty stretching out before him all the way into the horizon. “A gift for the baby,” he grinned as he went right to work.
Drew and I walked over to chairs nearby. “That was pretty simple,” I said. “A little too simple. Did you bribe her, Drew?”
He shrugged. “Officially? I didn’t do anything.”
“What does that mean?”
He grinned. “Let’s just say it pays to have persuasive friends. If all goes well, Elise will move to New York by the end of the year.”
“And what does that mean?”
He patted my hand. “It’s a beautiful day. Let’s not ruin it talking about Elise.” He changed the subject easily. “How are you feeling today?”
“Good,” I answered. The week had been touch and go. Some days I barely noticed anything more than morning queasiness. But by Wednesday, I was on my knees in front of the toilet for much of the morning. This affected Jonathan’s studies, as we had scheduled a return to FEI that week. Drew, however, was more concerned about what it meant for my health and the baby’s. He had already cleared his schedule for my next doctor’s appointment, just to make sure I was all right.
He looked visibly relieved that I was having a good day. “Excellent,” he said as he stretched out in the chair. “Now that we have all this legal wrangling behind us, we can relax this weekend. No pressure, just time at home with the family.”
I felt a rock in my gut. It was as perfect an opening as I was going to get. “Listen, Drew… I talked to Jonathan. He’s asked me to approach you about something.”
His eyes narrowed. “And that is?”
“It’s like I told you on the island. He wants to spend time with Alex and Max. He wants a real family, and all that entails.”
“I see,” he clipped. “And what do you want, Rachel?”
I met his gaze dead on. “I want Jonathan to be happy.” His mouth thinned into a hard line. “Apparently Elise and Alex had a bit of a falling out before she left. She essentially left Jonathan there with them. It reminded him of the time we spent there last year, so he wants to build on that and strengthen the family bond.” Drew said nothing as his eyes searched my face. “He’s always been fond of Alex. You said so yourself. You honestly can’t be that surprised that he’d want to repair that fracture now that he has the family at home he always wanted.”
“No, I’m not surprised,” Drew murmured. “I knew this was coming, I just didn’t expect it so soon. Only a couple of weeks of wedding bliss and you’re ready to open up your loving bosom to extended family. Ambitious,” he concluded as he sat up straight and crossed one leg over the other.
I already knew that was a sign of power for him, but I refused to play his game. “This changes nothing between you and me or me and Alex. If anything, Jonathan wants to change things between you and Alex. That’s the relationship that needs to heal now.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Drew decided. “Even for a great miracle worker like yourself.”
“So you just reject Jonathan’s wishes out of hand.”
“I didn’t say that. I had already planned on opening our home to Alex and his son.”
My eyes flew open in surprise. “What?”
He chuckled. “Why does that surprise you? Isn’t that what you wanted?”
I was too tired to go ten rounds about this issue again. “Drew,” I sighed.
“Relax,” he interrupted. “This has nothing to do with your unfortunate affair with Alex. You tell me that is over and I take you at your word.”
“Then what is it?”
It was his turn to sigh. He glanced towa
rd the ocean. “Alex has decided to get more involved in the family business. He is no longer content to be a silent shareholder. He’s at the office every day, working with my executives to learn all those things he had previously rejected. I haven’t figured out exactly what his angle is, especially since he and Elise are now on the outs. Since I can’t seem to get rid of him, the only alternative is allow him access and hope that I can figure out what he’s trying to do now before it comes back to bite me in the ass again.”
I studied Drew’s cold, calculating face. “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” I commented softly.
“Something like that,” he admitted shamelessly. He withdrew his cell phone from its holder on his hip. “Since I was in court today, I’m sure he was at the office all day, prowling the files and questioning the staff. We’ll call, invite him to dinner, extend yet another courtesy and see where he stands. Everyone wins.”
“Except Alex,” I snapped.
“You underestimate my brother, darling. A chance to moon over his lost love all night, wallowing in his precious misery, is right where Alex lives.” He handed me the phone. “Why don’t you do the honors?”
“I am not going to lure the lamb for slaughter, Drew. He’s your brother. This is your relationship to fix, or not. I refuse to play any more of your games.”
“It’s only a game if he’s hiding something or planning something of his own, in which case he is every bit as calculating and manipulative as I am, not some pathetic little victim. If I’m wrong and he doesn’t have any agenda, then no harm, no foul. We play nice in front of the kiddies and set right our family wrongs. That is what you wanted, right?”
“What does Rachel want?” Jonathan asked as he walked up to join us.
Drew’s eyes never left mine. “Rachel has decided to invite Alex and his family to join us for dinner this weekend.”
Jonathan’s eyes flew open wide. “Are you serious?”
“Absolutely,” he drawled easily. “If you don’t have family, you don’t have anything. Why don’t you call your uncle, Jonathan? Invite him for, what? Six o’clock on Saturday?”
I glared at Drew. “I really think the invitation should come from you, Drew.”
The smile on his face made me sick as he put his arm around Jonathan and pulled him close. “But who can say no to Jonathan?”
I stewed as an elated Jonathan called Alex. From his side of the conversation, I could tell Alex was taken aback by the invitation. Jonathan had to work a little bit to convince him, but within minutes Jonathan disconnected the call and handed the phone back to his father with a triumphant smile.
We went out to eat at a restaurant in Beverly Hills with stark, modern architecture, a celebrity chef and a higher class clientele. As raw steaks were presented for us to pick our cut, I had to excuse myself to splash water on my face in the ladies’ room. I wasn’t sure what made me sicker, dead cow flesh or my slick new husband. When I returned to the table, both Drew and Jonathan had chosen their cuts of meat. I settled on a salad and remained quiet as dinner progressed. Jonathan repeatedly asked if I felt all right, and I would smile assure him that I was fine.
I spent the better part of my meal watching how Jonathan mirrored his father’s actions. From the way he placed the napkin in his lap to the way he cut his meat, Jonathan watched Drew closely to make sure that he performed each task just like his father.
I was contemplative all the way home. I turned in early, but I didn’t fall asleep easily. I was still awake, and still livid, when Drew came to bed closer to midnight. He shrugged out of his shirt. “Such disapproval,” he murmured. “What exactly did I do now?”
“I’m still trying to wrap my mind around your using Jonathan to lure Alex into some kind of trap.”
“I told you. It’s only a trap if he’s doing something wrong.”
“Whatever. In the future, leave Jonathan out of it.”
He cocked an eyebrow as he stood next to the bed, his hands on his hips. “Excuse me?”
“Whatever is between you and Alex has nothing to do with Jonathan. He’s a little boy torn in two with loyalty and affection for the both of you. I refuse to stand by and allow you to squander his good faith and his trust to make some kind of point.”
Anger sharpened his features as he stared down at me. “Allow me?” he repeated. “And who, exactly, gave you authority to question me on how I parent my son?”
“You did,” I told him. “You wanted Jonathan to have a mother, and now he has one. If you think you’re going to use him like some wadded up piece of tissue paper, you’re going to have to get through me first. I’m not just your paid flunky anymore. I’m your wife, and the mother of your children. This family will not run like your business. We work together – honestly and openly – or not at all. Got it?”
His eyes never left my face as he slipped out of his pants and crawled into bed. He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me close, his mouth hovering just an inch over my own. “There’s that fire I missed,” he murmured. His mouth descended toward my own, but I resisted, pushing back against his hand while I met his gaze dead on.
“Got it?” I repeated.
A smile broke apart on his face. “Absolutely,” he answered.
“Good,” I said. “Goodnight, Drew.”
I slipped from his hand and turned my back to him, turned off the light and disappeared under the covers.
Chapter Seven
Drew was gone by the time I woke up the following morning, which was unusual given it was Saturday. He kept his distance after I gave him the cold shoulder, so I had no idea when he left the bed. From the state of his bedcovers, it had to be relatively early. The pillow was barely dented and the corners were still nicely tucked.
I checked his study as I made my way downstairs, but it, too, was undisturbed. With a shrug of my shoulders I turned toward the kitchen. Since mornings had proven so rough for me, Cleo had resumed preparing breakfast for the family. I wasn’t all that happy about it, given that I had established a much different routine when I had lived there before. I hated depending on anyone, especially for such basic needs. But she was happy to do it, reminding me gently that it was, in fact, her job. So I smiled when I found the tray of oatmeal and juice waiting for me, complete with a single rose in a bud vase on a silver tray.
Jonathan was already outside playing with Yoda. I watched them as I ate my breakfast. The little dog had become quite adept at retrieving the plastic flying disc. He took off like a shot every single time Jonathan hurled it across the yard. With ceaseless energy he brought it back, which always made Jonathan laugh as he dropped to his knees to reward his friend with kisses and praise. It warmed my heart to watch them interact. It wasn’t so long ago when Jonathan was locked inside a very bitter shell, lashing out at everyone and pushing anyone who loved him as far away from himself as he could.
Thankfully we didn’t let him. We fought and stayed true to our goal to reach him, even when he made it nearly impossible to do so. As I watched him play, I could finally see our progress. It had been the only thing worth fighting for in this whole debacle, and it was a war we were actually winning. He was on a new path. His future was rewritten.
It made me think about Drew and about Alex. How different would their lives had been if someone had dug their heels in the ground and refused to be moved by the lies, by the anger and the disappointment?
Was it too late?
Or was their bitter, twisted future set in stone?
I sighed as I thought about dinner that night. It was yet another game on Drew’s part, and likely on Alex’s as well. Both had been playing off of each other for years. They had forfeited truly connecting as brothers so that they could best each other in some useless competition. Though I never met him, I cursed Malcolm Fullerton for doing this to his children. Many years ago they were the best of friends. Now they were the worst of enemies.
All for what?
I carried my dishes to the si
nk, to rinse them out and place them in the dishwasher. My brain twisted itself into a knot as I tried to think of something, anything, to make this hopeless situation better. Jonathan and Max deserved so much better than this hateful legacy.
I was still clueless as I joined Jonathan outside. He bounded over to me with a happy smile. “Did you see Yoda?” he asked.
I nodded. “The training is going well.”
He beamed down at the cheerful little dog with the perpetual smile. “By the time the baby is born, he should be fully trained.”
It touched my heart how Jonathan was doing everything he could to prepare for his little brother or sister. I put my arm around his shoulders. “You. Are. Amazing.”
He rose to the praise. “You are the one that is amazing. I can’t believe you got Dad invite Max and Alex to come over.”
“Me either,” I mumbled.
“So what’s the plan?” he asked.
“I was wondering the same thing. Any suggestions?”
He pursed his lips as he pondered the possibilities. “It’s hard to say. They’re both so different.”
I snickered. That was the understatement of the century. “I tell you what. We’ll make this about Max, then.”
“That’s brilliant,” he decided with a grin.
We headed to the store to purchase foods that young Maximus Fullerton liked. I decided to make another Mississippi Mud Cake, while Jonathan suggested we make Millicent’s chicken cordon bleu recipe. “She’s coming too, isn’t she?”
“I hope so,” I answered. “She’s a part of the family, too.”
Just to make sure, Jonathan texted Alex.
We spent the better part of the day baking and cooking. Drew returned early in the afternoon, and disappeared right into his study. He didn’t emerge until closer to five o’clock, when he headed upstairs to dress for our company.
He stood in his underwear, surveying his closet, when I entered the room. “I was starting to think you weren’t going to show.”
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