He chuckled as he turned to face me. “And miss this grand family reunion? Hardly.” He glanced over my casual outfits of jeans and a button-down shirt. “So I take it the festivities aren’t black-tie?”
I shrugged. “If you can’t be yourself around family, what’s the point?”
“Indeed,” he said as he pulled a pair of slacks from the closet. I watched as he stepped into them.
I wanted to ask where he had been. This was my business now, as his wife. But I also sensed he was waiting for me to ask. It was another game and I refused to play. Instead I unbuttoned my shirt and tossed it in the hamper, then wriggled out of my jeans. I wore only my underwear as I walked right past him toward the closet and perused my meager selection.
He watched me out of the corner of his eye as I ran my hand along the hangers until I stopped on a sunny yellow knit dress. It was fancier than I normally dressed, but the occasion was fairly momentous. I even sat at the vanity table to apply a little makeup. He walked behind me to shrug into his own casual knit shirt, his eyes studying my face as I got ready.
I knew he’d pick apart every decision I made in regards to this dinner, from what I wore, what I made and what I said. It wasn’t just a test for Alex; it was a test for me. And in that moment I realized that was the purpose of his letting me in on his little plan, just to make sure I knew that.
“It’s only a game if he’s hiding something,” Drew had said. Now I understood that was a question of exactly what I might be hiding as well, since I was the one who campaigned to bring Alex back into the fold so soon on the heels of our love affair.
Drew bent closer to the mirror to style his own hair, purposefully keeping my face in the frame of the mirror. I applied perfume and affixed earrings. And even though we both were focused on our own images, I knew very well each of us was acutely aware of the other through our peripheral vision.
He stood up and I rose from the chair to face him. His eyes were unreadable. “You look lovely, Mrs. Fullerton,” he murmured.
I gave a slight nod to accept the compliment. “As do you, Mr. Fullerton.”
He offered his arm and I took it, and he led us down the stairs.
Jonathan had also decided to dress for the occasion. He had changed from his jeans and T-shirt to slacks and a sweater. He was practically jumping out of his skin in excitement. Before he could ask what time it was, again, the doorbell rang. I dismissed Harrison with the wave of a hand as we all walked to the door to welcome our guests.
Drew opened the door. I sucked in a breath when I saw Alex’s face. Like Drew, he had opted for something more dressy casual, with an open-collar shirt and slacks. His long hair was tied back and his beard was trimmed close. There was no smile on his face when our eyes met and held. I could still see the pain there, and it crushed my heart.
Max was all smiles when he saw me. “Rachel!” he cried before he jumped right up into my arms. I laughed as I cuddled him close. Oh, how I had missed him so.
“Hey, handsome,” I said before I delivered a noisy peck right on his lips. He strengthened his arms around my neck and hugged me tight.
“I missed you!” he said.
“Not as much as I missed you,” I promised as I set him on his feet. He made a beeline straight for Jonathan.
I turned to Millicent, whose smile was warm as she greeted me. “It’s been too long,” she said as she wrapped me into a warm hug.
“It has,” I agreed as we parted. She handed me a bag full of goodies from her garden. “How sweet are you?” I squealed as I inspected the bounty.
“They’re not as good as when you were tending to them,” she said.
“They’re great,” I said. Harrison appeared from the shadows to take the bag. I introduced them, and he bowed slightly as he greeted her.
Finally I turned to Alex. He wore that damnable smirk. “Hey, sis.”
I ignored the snark. I stepped close and took him into my arms. I felt the tremor run though his body as he closed his arms around me. “It’s good to see you, Alex,” I said softly.
We stepped apart. He offered me a bottle of wine and flowers. “You look beautiful,” he murmured. “Pregnancy really agrees with you.” He turned to Drew. “You’re a lucky man.”
Drew smiled as he pulled me into his side possessively. “Yes, I am.”
Jonathan watched the two men, perhaps waiting for them to hug like the rest of us, or come to blows like they had in the past. Alex offered a handshake, and Drew only hesitated a millisecond before he accepted. “Thank you for inviting us,” he said, studying Drew the same way he himself was being studied.
“Thank my wife,” Drew replied easily. “She explained how close the boys have gotten over the past year. There seems no sense in keeping them apart.”
“Agreed,” Alex said.
Drew led the way to the living area. Cleo took the flowers from me to arrange them for the dinner table. I joined Drew on the sofa, while Alex and Millicent sat on the love seat. Sensing the tension in the air, Jonathan took Max by the hand. “Come on, Max. Let me show you my room.”
He followed his cousin happily, with Yoda trotting obediently behind.
Drew leaned back, crossing one leg over the other, as he draped an arm possessively on the edge of the sofa behind me. “So how are the horses?” Drew asked. “Training coming along well with A True Southern Princess?”
“Placed the last few races. Nearly ready to break her maiden,” Alex answered.
“A Truth Southern Princess?” I asked. “New horse?”
Alex’s eyes met mine. “Brought her back from England. I spent most of December getting her ready to transport.”
I dropped my gaze, recalling all too well how I had spent my December, praying to hear from Alex though I never did.
“Perhaps we should come see her race,” Drew murmured as his fingers curved around my shoulder to stroke my skin.
“Absolutely,” Alex said as he spotted the gesture. “Rachel has always had good luck at the races.” After he let that comment sit for a moment, he changed the subject. “So, how was the honeymoon?”
Drew glanced down at my face with a knowing smile. “It was wonderful, wasn’t it, darling?”
The rock in my throat prevented any comment. Instead I just nodded.
“The De Havillands let us stay on their private island. We had the run of the place and a bedroom right on the sand. It was a beautiful place to reconnect after such a difficult year apart.” I couldn’t even bring myself to look at Alex. “It was paradise,” Drew murmured softly. “But only because Rachel was there with me.”
I glanced at Millicent, pleading with my eyes for her to do something, anything to stop this conversation. She cleared her throat. “I could tell you got some sun, Rachel. But you still look a little pale. Morning sickness?”
“More like all-day sickness,” Drew answered for me.
She nodded. “It’s still early yet. How far along are you?”
“Nine weeks,” Drew answered for me again. I felt Alex’s eyes on me as I smoothed my skirt on my legs. “She tells me it’s normal, but we’re going to check with the doctor just to be sure.”
“Experiences vary. Morning sickness isn’t the same for everyone, even from pregnancy to pregnancy. For some, it can even linger past the first trimester. When I was pregnant with Nina, I was sick as a dog for five months straight. Smells, visuals, anything could send me running to the bathroom. I was using every home remedy in the book. I even sniffed newspaper,” she admitted with a chuckle. “But what can you do, really? Just one of the thorns one must endure for the rose.”
“Absolutely,” he responded with a triumphant smile. Drew reached over to gently cup my stomach with his hand. “How about those for names, darling? Rose for a girl, Thorne for a boy?”
I pleaded with him with my eyes to stop, but his smile indicated he had every intention of branding his territory. We were finally all spared from the monotony of excruciating small talk by Harrison, who announc
ed dinner was served.
Fortunately the kids took over the conversation once we all were seated in the formal dining room. Jonathan asked Max about his school, so our natural entertainer spent almost an hour telling us about his teachers, his friends, and his girlfriend named Trudie. The adults, even both Alex and Drew, were charmed by his tales, which helped defuse the tension somewhat.
Cleo and Harrison served our dessert, which pleased young Max tremendously. “Em eye, crooked letter crooked letter eye, crooked crooked letter eye, humpback humpback eye!” he exclaimed with a happy clap of his hands.
“You’re right!” I praised, tickled that he remembered my homespun teaching. We all dove into the decadent dessert, and then Jonathan insisted that we all head out to the terrace.
There, his guitar waited. He turned to Alex. “Play for us, Uncle Alex.”
He glanced between Drew and me before he agreed. He walked over to the chair next to the roaring outdoor fireplace on the veranda. He played Garth Brooks’ The Dance, a song that had once connected Alex and me because of our losses.
And now we had lost each other as well.
It hurt my heart as I listened to him sing, but I didn’t have much opportunity to feel sorry for myself when Jonathan insisted that Drew and I needed to dance. Drew slid easily to his feet and held out a hand. I gulped hard as I rose to join him.
He pulled me close to his body, to sway slowly to the song. Jonathan asked Millicent to dance with him, and I was able to lay my head on Drew’s shoulder and avoid looking at Alex entirely. The pain in his voice was obvious, and it hurt my heart to hear it.
As the song drew to a close, Drew tipped my chin up to plant a long, loving kiss on my lips, gently nudging my lips apart with his tongue, to demonstrate to the world he every right to kiss me as passionately as he dared. I could barely look him in the eye when he declared we should change partners for the next song. Jonathan wrapped an arm around my waist and Alex launched into a more up-tempo tune so that my new son and I could two-step with prowess around the terrace.
Drew did his best to keep up with Millicent, and by the time the song ended everyone was laughing.
Everyone… except for Alex.
That changed when Jonathan perched next to him. “Teach me a new one,” he asked of his favorite uncle.
“Sure, buddy,” Alex grinned.
As I took my seat next to Drew, he took my hand into his. He quietly watched his brother and his son interact as he stroked my hand with his thumb. I knew he was assessing things, working them over in his head, looking for cracks in the veneer.
I also knew he wouldn’t find anything. Alex truly loved Jonathan, it was clear every single time he looked at him.
And what was more, Jonathan adored Alex every single bit as much as he loved him.
It was painfully obvious that Drew really didn’t know what make of it.
When Max dozed in Millicent’s arms, they decided it was time to call it a night. We walked them to the door. I got more hugs from Max and from Millicent. Finally Alex turned to face me. “Thank you for inviting us,” he said softly.
“Thank you for coming,” I replied. I knew it hadn’t been easy for him. And I knew he did it for Max and for Jonathan. I reached for the hug first and he didn’t deny me. For one brief moment, he gripped me so tight it took my breath away. I couldn’t think of anything to say to make it better, so I said nothing in a vain effort not to make it worse.
He pulled away and turned to Drew. He offered his hand only, which Drew accepted. Neither said a word, even goodbye, before Alex turned away and walked out the door. Drew closed it behind him and turned back to Jonathan and me.
Jonathan said nothing as he threw his arms around his dad. The gesture momentarily took Drew by surprise, before he wrapped his strong arms around Jonathan and lifted him up in a big bear hug. “Thank you, Dad,” Jonathan said.
“Anything for you, buddy,” he said softly as he smoothed Jonathan’s hair with one hand.
This was the Drew I liked best, the one I even loved… the one who adored his son and put him first above everything, especially a petty sibling rivalry. It was the first time I breathed easy the whole night. After Jonathan went to his room, Drew followed me to our bedroom. After he closed the door behind us, I turned to thank him for keeping it mostly civil, but I didn’t have an opportunity to say anything before he lifted me up and pushed me up against the wall. His mouth crushed mine before I could ask what he was doing.
His fingers were rough as he pulled my skirt up my legs. I could barely breathe as his tongue drove forcefully into my mouth. He yanked my underwear down effortlessly. He broke the kiss long enough to position himself in between my legs.
“What are you doing?” I eked out as I braced against him to keep from falling.
“Making love to my wife,” he growled. I felt him release himself against me, hard and throbbing with need. “Unless you want to turn your back on me again, and spend all night dreaming about another man.”
“You know that’s not what happened,” I said. “I was mad at you…,” I trailed off.
“And you’re in love with him,” he snarled. “But you married me.” He lifted me up and carried me to the bed. We fell together. “I did what you asked,” he said as he propped himself over me. “Now what are you going to do for me?”
“I’m not going to make love to you under duress,” I snapped.
“You’re right,” he agreed as his hand slipped between my legs. “I don’t have to force you to fuck me,” he said as his fingers slid against me easily, and I gasped out loud. “We both know you always wanted this. You forfeited everything, even your precious Alex, just to feel me inside you one more time. Now you have me forever. Don’t take a page out of his play book and play victim now, Rachel. You’re too strong for that.”
I couldn’t think as he eased a finger inside of me. I whimpered as I felt him part my thighs with his knee.
“Give me your passion, baby,” he urged. “Give me everything. Your anger. Your hunger. Everything you think you need to hide from the world, you can give to me. You can be anything. I don’t judge you, I want you. All of you.”
He kissed me like he was intoxicated by the taste of my mouth. Heat rose around me until I felt engulfed by it. “Drew,” I gasped as he branded my body with his touch.
“Tell me you’re mine,” he begged. “Mine alone.”
I couldn’t think straight. Was this another test? Who could be sure anymore?
But one thing was sure. I had made my choice. “I’m yours,” I uttered.
He growled deep in his throat as he kissed me. He thrust himself inside me, riding me hard as he was overcome with need. “My Rachel,” he whispered into my mouth. He ground himself into me until I was bucking against him, a scream locked in my throat. He didn’t stop until I was coming hard, and then he followed shortly behind with a triumphant cry.
He fell to my side, sweaty and breathless. Within minutes he was asleep, partially dressed, and convinced – once again – that he had won.
Chapter Eight
By the time I woke up Sunday morning, Drew and Jonathan had prepared me breakfast in bed. Drew was back to the perfect newlywed husband, doting and attentive without a hint of artifice. We spent a lazy day at home, where he focused mostly on Jonathan. They played catch in the back yard while I read a book and caught some sun. It was our last weekend before Elise returned from the East Coast, so we decided to keep it low key. We watched a movie, we played some games. And when we went to bed, Drew was gentle as he touched me, taking his time to kiss me and caress me until I was the one reaching for him.
The week ahead of us was jam packed. Jonathan and I were scheduled to head back to FEI, to continue his education with his father’s company. I had my February checkup with my doctor, and true to his word, Drew cleared the afternoon just to be there with me. He asked questions as he stood close to me, my hand in his, the very picture of a loving father and devoted husband. Any outsider w
ould believe that he loved me and our child, and this was one of the most magical times of his life.
I was reluctant to head back to the office and jeopardize this tenuous peace we had managed to attain. Every time I was anywhere near Alex, Drew felt the need to draw a line in the sand, to establish the hierarchy. With Alex at the office almost daily, I knew that things were due to get awkward quickly, and sadly I wasn’t wrong.
I arrived at FEI with Jonathan that Thursday morning. Our office was filled with flowers and gift baskets, and his office now included wedding photos and a family photo right on his desk.
Alex had taken over a corner office just down the hall. I could hear him talking from where I sat at my desk, and the timbre of his voice warmed my soul.
But he had made his choice and I had made mine, so there was no going back now. We were civil if we passed in the hall, as if the last year hadn’t happened at all. The only pictures on his desk were of Max and of Nina, so I could only assume he had decided to delete any memories he created with me from his personal databank. It hurt, but it was probably best for everyone.
He and Alex circled around each other like lions in the brush, looking for any visible vulnerabilities to use to their advantage, but remained mostly civil that first day. It gave me hope that perhaps they would be able to move beyond their conflict, if nothing else than for the sake of their family’s company.
All those hopes were dashed Friday afternoon, when Jonathan and I headed into office so that we could go with Drew for lunch. We walked into an intense and private conference with Alex. Drew already had a tumbler of whiskey on his desk, which surprised me. It was early in the day for him to be drinking, and nothing about our week thus far had driven him to drink at home.
I was immediately apprehensive as I took my seat next to Jonathan. “Is everything okay?”
Drew turned to both Jonathan and me. “As you know, Alex has decided to learn those things about the business he rejected when Father was alive.”
Alex shrugged. “Better late than never.”
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