Kill Devil Hills

by Sarah Darlington

  “Okay.” Ellie didn’t even hesitate. She pulled out her brand new, very expensive camera and handed it over. I knew Rose wasn’t about to purposely drop it in the sand, but I’m not sure I would have been as trusting as Ellie. But that was just Ellie’s style—she never sweated the little stuff. “Knock yourself out, kiddo,” my older sister told her. “Do you know how to use it?”

  “Yeah. Duh. Who doesn’t know how to use a camera?”

  Rose stood up, walking off a few feet away, and started snapping pictures of random things.

  “I was surprised I found you down here on the beach,” Ellie commented, bumping her shoulder against mine. We both stared out at the water now. “I thought you were avoiding it.”

  How did she know that? I hadn’t told anyone about my fight with Ben from way-back. “I was,” I admitted. “But I felt like coming out here today.”

  “That’s good. That’s progress.” She kicked off her flip-flops and dug her toes into the sand. “You know, sometimes I wonder how the fuck Ben managed to drown. He was like a fish. I swear he came out of Mom’s stomach swimming. It kind of reminds you that Mother Nature doesn’t play favorites and that the world is much bigger than us.” She sighed. “Want to get in the water with me?”

  “What?”

  Ellie jumped up, taking hold of my hand and dragging me to my feet with her. “C’mon.” Then she called out to Rose, “Take some pictures, Rosie! We’re getting in—in our clothes!”

  I didn’t even have a moment to resist her. My sister had a firm grip on my hand, and she wasn’t letting go. Yanking my arm, she pulled me toward the sea. I laughed the whole way as we ran and dove in. The very second cold touched me, a giant wave rolled over us—knocking both of us onto our asses. I went completely under. It was thrilling and scary all at once. And I’d missed this feeling. I’d grown up with the water, it was like second nature to me. And even if it had taken my brother’s life, part of me still loved it and had missed it.

  I popped my head free from the wave that had dragged us down, splashing my sister. “Seriously!” I shouted at her, not being serious at all. “I just spent an hour doing my hair for Noah!” I splashed her again.

  She splashed me back. “Seriously,” she mocked. “Haven’t you noticed that Noah doesn’t care how straight, frizzy, or wavy your hair is? He’s obsessed with other parts of your body, like your tits—not your hair.”

  “I can’t believe you just said that.” I jumped on her, trying to push her head under. Like a buoy, she floated and wouldn’t budge. I gave up after a few unsuccessful seconds and started wading my way through the water, walking back toward the shore.

  “You know,” Ellie said, following me out. “You have nothing to worry about today. Mom knows freaking everything. She’s like a mind reader. I guarantee she already knows about you and Noah. You didn’t need to do your hair for today.”

  I was sopping wet, water dripping off me everywhere with makeup probably running down my face. “No way.”

  “Yes way. She knew I liked girls even before I figured it out. She knew Ben was taking those community college courses even before he told anyone. Trust me, she already knows.”

  I swallowed that pill down. Ellie was probably right. But if that were the case, maybe I’d been stressing over nothing. Maybe I had nothing to worry about. Maybe my parents already knew about Noah and didn’t even care.

  Rose skipped up to us, stretching out her arm for Ellie to see some of the pictures she’d taken. “Those are getting framed,” Ellie said in awe. “You’re a pretty good photographer. Maybe when you get older you’ll want to move to L.A. and follow around one of your celebrities, snapping pics of them.”

  “That’s my dream.” A smile filled Rose’s face and then she flashed the camera at me for quick second. “This one is cute too.” It was an old photo—one of Noah and I. We were kissing.

  “Holy shit.” I wanted to grab the camera from her little hands but couldn’t with my wet hands. “Let me see that. Hold still, Rosie.”

  She held still for me.

  It was totally embarrassing and totally perfect. Noah and I were kissing in the middle of a crowded Chancy’s. My face flushed seeing the picture and remembering the moment of our first kiss. “I want a copy of this photo,” I whispered to no one in particular.

  “Noah already made copies.” Ellie shrugged. “We better go back to the house. Church will be over soon.”

  I walked behind the girls. The raw emotion in that picture—on not only my face, but on Noah’s as well—was devastating. Devastating in a knock-you-off-your-feet kind of way. Devastating in a can’t-feel-my-lips-because-my-body-was-tingling kind of way.

  He loved me. I loved him.

  The picture didn’t lie.

  And he had to have seen that too. Weeks ago. Because I remembered now that he’d already seen that picture—moments after it had been taken.

  CHAPTER 21:

  NOAH

  I had to believe that today would be okay. Facing any other alternative wasn’t an option. Her parents would accept me as her boyfriend, essentially accepting me into a family I already felt part of, and it was as simple as that.

  Dressed in khaki shorts, a button up shirt, boat shoes (fucking boat shoes!), with my hair pulled back—I walked up the driveway to her house. I’d walked this way a million times before, but it was different today. It meant more today. It sure as fuck better not be my last time today.

  Ellie surprised me when I found her in wet clothes, sitting on the bumper of her mom’s car—smoking a damn cigarette. I hadn’t seen that girl smoke since we were nineteen, and she’d had her first puff under the bleachers after one of Rhett’s baseball games. She vowed then that she’d ‘tried it once, knew it was gross, and would never do it again.’

  She looked unsettled but smiled when she saw me staring at her.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” I asked.

  Her smile dropped as the cigarette dropped from her hand to the gravely-sand below her feet. Her flip-flop covered foot smudged it out and into the ground. “Don’t tell my mom.”

  “Like I was going to tell your mom,” I groaned. “What the fuck are you doing?” I repeated.

  “Relieving some fucking stress. It’s not a big deal, Noah. Don’t make it into one.” She stood from the car. “Let’s go inside and get your whole meet the boyfriend routine over with.”

  “Tell me what’s going on first,” I said, my voice softer this time. “Please.”

  Crickets. She didn’t so much as say a word, and Ellie sure as shit loved to talk.

  “Please,” I repeated.

  “Dammit, Noah. Fine. Someone—someone I didn’t even know I’d ever speak to again called me this morning. Okay? And now I have drama with this person to worry about. And I’m not even going to tell you who because I don’t feel like it right now. I’ll take care of it. It was just startling to hear from this person after so long. That’s all. It’s always unsettling when someone from your past sneaks up on you. You know?”

  I didn’t know. I didn’t know because I didn’t know who she was talking about. An old girlfriend perhaps? Ellie had tons of those. “Will you tell me who this person is when you figure it all out?”

  She nodded. “Yes. You know I can’t keep a secret from you longer than five minutes. But today isn’t my day or even my friend’s day. It’s yours and Georgie’s day.” She pointed at my feet. “Nice shoes, loser.”

  Rolling my eyes, we climbed the stairs and went inside her house. My stomach felt like it was down in the bottom of my boat shoes as we walked. We entered and—surprise, surprise—the whole damn family was sitting around the open living room and kitchen area. Rose muted the TV the second she saw me—because she knew as well as I did that this was about to be more entertaining than one of her shows.

  Mr. and Mrs. Turner sat at the dining room table, eyes on their laptop, working on something that was probably work related. While Georgie sat across from them, semi-wet like her sister,
eating a sandwich. Maybe Ellie had pushed her into the neighbor’s pool or something. What the hell? Did I need to get revenge for my girl?

  Georgie stopped eating when she saw me, setting her sandwich back on her plate, as her eyes connected with mine from across the room. Mrs. Turner glanced over her shoulder to see what she was looking at.

  “Oh, there you are, Noah,” she said. “Georgina has been waiting. Come sit down.”

  I swallowed hard. Had Georgie already told her? From the shell-shocked look on Georgie’s face, I’d say the answer was no. I moved across the room, as instructed, and sat down in an open seat by my girl. Rose popped off the couch and grabbed another seat, while Ellie moved to stand at the kitchen counter, where she hovered.

  I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I needed to say something. My hand found Georgie’s under the table, her skin was cold to the touch and her fingers were trembling slightly. I gave her hand a small squeeze, letting her know everything was going to be fine.

  “I made up the rat story.” The words tumbled out of my mouth. “There never was a rat on the loose at our house. I’ve never even seen a rat in my life. But I made up that story because I’m in love with your daughter.” I’m not sure if I even knew I loved her until this very moment. But I realized I was—I was so fucking in love with her that sometimes it was impossible to breathe. So why not tell everyone the truth?

  “When Georgie first got back from that recovery facility, I need to be here and be closer to her. I didn’t know what else to do so I made up that story knowing Ellie wouldn’t sleep at our house because of it.”

  All eyes were big and staring intently at me. Wade Turner looked as if I just told him I shit on the carpet. Ellie and Rose were only excited with encouraging faces. Susan Turner’s expression was unreadable. And I wasn’t sure what Georgie thought, because I was far too nervous to look directly at her. But her fingers were still locked tight with mine under the table, so I took that as a good sign. With my free hand, I brushed a stray strand of my hair behind my ear and continued talking.

  “I love her. I’m going to marry her one day. I’m going to take care of her and provide for her and have babies with her. And in the fall, when she decides to go to college—because I kind of have the feeling that’s what she’ll ultimately do—then I’m going to follow her wherever she goes.”

  Jesus, I hadn’t even thought all of this through. I glanced up at Ellie, afraid at what she might be thinking. She’d given up college the first time around for me. And now I wanted to follow her sister away from Kill Devil Hills, leaving her.

  “Ellie can run our business on her own for a while. I’ll come home to help on the weekends—because I know we worked hard to get where we are, and I don’t want to jeopardize our hard work. But…if Georgie lets me…I’m going to want to be wherever she is. It’s really that simple.”

  Georgie’s hand slipped out of mine.

  “That’s cool,” Ellie said, accepting like always. She winked at me. “You’re a badass, Noah Clark. I love you. I’ll take care of whatever for however long you need me to.”

  “Good,” I said. “It is what I want.”

  I set my hands on the table, tapping them a couple times, staring at my girl. Suddenly this had nothing to do with the other people in the room and everything to do with only her. I just spilled my whole fucking heart, and I needed her to respond. Now.

  She blew out a long, slow breath and then slowly inhaled. She repeated that process a couple times before saying a word. “I need to know something. Just one thing. What if I hadn’t tried to commit suicide? What if I hadn’t been bleeding on the floor, and you hadn’t saved me? Would you still have fallen in love with me?” Her eyes finally came to meet mine—they were shinny with unshed tears.

  “Yes.”

  There was no question in my mind. What was happening between us was inevitable. It would have happened no matter what.

  “Maybe,” I said, and I brushed her half-dried hair behind her shoulders so I could better see her beautiful face. “Maybe it would have taken me a little while longer to notice you or vice versa, but you and me—us—we would have happened just the same either way. It’s not like I fell in love with you because of that. You were going through a hard time in your life, and I fell in love with you during that time. That’s how I’m always going to remember this.”

  “I love you too,” she whispered.

  My heart squeezed as she said the words. “I know,” I whispered, bringing my hands up to her face so I could hold her and keep her eyes on mine. I already knew she loved me. I could see it in her eyes when she looked at me, tasted it when she kissed me, and felt it when she made love to me. I was the luckiest son of bitch on the planet—but I already knew that. I knew it from the first night I held her tight in my arms.

  “Thank you for saving me, Noah,” she uttered. “I never have thanked you. Thank you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me for that.”

  “Yes. I do. And I might do it again tomorrow and every day after that. Because I wouldn’t be here without you.”

  I kissed her in front of the whole damn family. I couldn’t not kiss her in that moment. We were like two force fields, drawn together and colliding. Her lips were warm and soft, sweet and salty from her tears. She wrapped her arms around my neck, sitting taller in her chair, pressing her chest hard into mine. And when her tongue slipped into my mouth, seeking out mine, and I tasted her—I’d never felt more complete in my life.

  After another moment, her father cleared his throat, forcing our little make-out session at the table to come to an end. I glanced at each member of her family in turn. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room, including my own eyes, and I knew then that her family had accepted me—accepted us. It didn’t matter if I was older then Georgie. That small fact was never even brought up.

  “You’re a good man, Noah,” Mrs. Turner said, standing.

  Wade chuckled to himself. “I’ve never even heard you speak this much.” He returned to the laptop as if the last few moments never happened.

  Rose popped up from the table and went back toward the couch.

  “Want a turkey sandwich like Georgie’s?” Mrs. Turner offered.

  “I want one,” Ellie said, answering before I could. “Please, Mom. Thanks.” She moved from the counter to the table and sat beside her father. “What are you working on, Dad?”

  “I’ll take that sandwich,” I told Georgie’s mom. “Thank you.”

  Mrs. Turner made her way to the kitchen and stared gathering ingredients from the fridge.

  I smiled, circling my arm around Georgie. She still had tears in her eyes. “I love you,” I whispered into her ear, low so only she could hear me. “I meant what I said about marrying you and having babies with you one day. I hope you’re okay with that. And I will follow you to school. I don’t know if I’ll enroll too or not, but I’ll be there. I’ll always be there.”

  She nestled closer into my side. I didn’t know if we’d get to cuddle at night anymore—at least for the time being before she left for college—but I believed she’d be fine without me either way. “I’m going to hold you to all those things you said,” she said. “Forever.”

  “Forever,” I repeated.

  EPILOGUE:

  A FEW MONTHS LATER

  GEORGIE

  “Hot damn,” Patty swore, her eyes on a figure down the hall. We’d just finished our very first English 101 class. We’d always talked about this day while we were away at The Cove together and now it was here. Our first day of college classes and our first day ‘out in the real world.’

  Patty was from a small farm town smack-dab in the middle of North Carolina, and I was from the Outer Banks. Relatively, two different worlds—even though we both grew up in the same state. Now we were both attending Luke University. And I couldn’t be happier that fate had brought us back together. We were the same grade, had both finished our high school classes at The Cove, and now we were rooming together for
our freshman year of college.

  She looked healthy too. Not quite as skinny as I remembered from a few months ago, but I knew she still struggled with all her food issues daily. Food was something a person always needed to eat so it would be a lifelong struggle for Patty. The same way missing my brother would never fully subside in me.

  “You didn’t tell me he was gorgeous,” Patty went on. “I want one.”

  She meant the handsome, blond-haired man standing only a few feet in front of us. He wore a leather jacket, t-shirt, and jeans—a motorcycle helmet under one arm and his shoulder-length hair pulled back at his neck. He looked like trouble waiting to happen, but I knew otherwise. He was one of the kindest, gentlest, most protective men out there, and he was all mine.

  “Oh, God, I hate you already,” Sydney groaned at Patty. “Keep your panties on. He’s not man-candy. He’s a human being.”

  Sydney had ended up at Luke University, as well. We weren’t exactly friends—yet. I found out twenty-four hours ago that she was living in the same dorm as me. Imagine that. And we even had a few classes together. Imagine that, too. I’d never really given her much of a chance in high school. Before Ben died and before I left, I wasn’t the same person as I was today. I was too caught up in my own world, too worried about what other people thought of me, and honestly, I was kind of a bitch.

  I wanted to give Sydney a chance now. She was feisty, and I liked that.

  Something had also happened between her and Ben—maybe they’d only been friends or maybe they’d been more—but I was curious, and either way, I wanted to see if we could be friends, too. If she meant something to Ben then she meant something to me. And after all, college was the place for fresh starts, new beginnings, and then all that other stuff.

  “Hi, Noah,” I said in a low voice as I came up to him. My cheeks flushed.

  Even after a few months of dating, he still had my heart screaming every time I saw him. It screamed now—but that was a good freaking thing. It let me know I was alive. He let me know I was alive. Every. Single. Day.