Devin

by Dana Archer

  “Lena’s not his true mate.” Xander stretched on the sofa and folded his arms under his head. “Devin is just trying to justify his decision to save her life. He’s got himself convinced his goddess led him to Lena and a situation where he wouldn’t refuse her.”

  “Lena is my true mate.” Devin tapped a finger against his forehead. No need to mention his mental issues. The whole shifter community walked on eggshells around him, except for his friends and apparently the suicidal male in front of him. “Her scent and her touch helps this, and she’s allowed me to live in peace.”

  “Yeah, when you’re with her.” Xander glanced at him, an imploring look in his eyes. “I’m not trying to be cruel, but for both of your sakes you need to face the facts. Lena is your mate. There is no arguing that, but she’s not your true mate. Enjoy her in this lifetime, then let her go. It wouldn’t be right to lock her to your side if her true mate is out there.”

  Devin allowed Xander’s words to settle over him. He meant them in Devin and Lena’s best interest. Devin understood that, but Xander was wrong.

  Devin met his friend’s gaze. “And in who’s best interest was it to walk away from your true mate, not just once but twice?”

  Xander stared at him for an endless moment, then closed his eyes.

  “That’s what I thought.” Devin nodded. “Now, I’d appreciate it if everyone would stay out of my business.”

  Devin stepped around Vader.

  “No.” Vader grabbed Devin. “The only person here I care about is Lena. If there’s a chance she’s not your true mate, walk away from her. She doesn’t need to be hurt by you.”

  Devin glanced at where Vader’s fingers were wrapped around Devin’s wrist. A displeased sound echoed within him from his tiger, letting him know they didn’t appreciate the other male’s attitude, but none of his cats fought to get free of Devin’s body. It was a first. A welcome first.

  And he had Lena to thank for that.

  Maybe it was only because her scent hung heavy in the plane. Didn’t matter. The lack of rage was a miracle. “I won’t hurt my mate.”

  “Sure, not physically, but what about emotionally?” Vader let his derisive glare travel over Devin’s body. “Are you really going to tell me any cat, especially one who’s known for his one-night stands, would be content with Lena?”

  Where was Vader taking the ridiculous argument? Most shifters favored one-off lovers. What did that have to do with Lena?

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “She’s bound to you in a one-way bond. You have no emotional tie to her without a piece of her soul. Once her body starts to age, are you actually going to tell me you’ll be faithful to her?”

  Devin cracked his knuckles. His anger directed him, not the pure fury of his cats. Vader had no right to question his feelings for Lena. “She is my mate.”

  “Yeah, so what? You’ll be tempted to sleep with another female after a few weeks.”

  Devin leaned closer, letting the other male see the warning in his eyes. “You know nothing about what I want. Lena is mine. End of story.”

  “Of course, she’s your true mate. How could I forget?” Vader rolled his eyes in a mocking gesture. “The stories of our notorious ‘one true mate’ are nothing but myths. Guilt’s your motive for being with her. You hurt her.”

  “I made a mistake—”

  “Exactly. If she hadn’t been dying, you wouldn’t have given her the time of day.”

  A muffled sob alerted Devin to the cracked bedroom door. It clicked closed and the lock turned before he could act. He pounded on the surface.

  “Lena, open the door.”

  The rustle of cloth followed by the soft thump of her back hitting the door gave him a visual that squeezed his throat.

  Her pain became his.

  In his mind’s eye, he could see his strong female huddled on the ground. The image sickened him. He was supposed to protect and cherish her, not cause her anguish.

  Devin pressed his hands to the fake wood separating them. It could’ve been a milelong chasm. On his knees, he rested his cheek near where he heard his female’s heart pounding wildly. “Let me in, Lena.”

  “No. Leave me alone.”

  “I can’t.” Swallowing hard, he gathered his thoughts, hoping he could make the right words come out. He’d never been good at expressing himself, or that was what Mira had always told him. “You’re my mate. My gift from the goddesses. Let me in, and we’ll talk about what Vader said. I’m sure you’re taking it out of context.”

  Her weary sigh widened the gap between them.

  “I woke the second you slipped from the bed, Devin. I heard everything. There is no taking it out of context.” She sucked in a rough breath. “Everything that has happened to us is because I got in the way of your claws.”

  “You were trying to help me. I’m the one—”

  “Who accidentally injured me. I know. Had that not happened, you would never have taken the path you had.”

  He scraped his clawed hand down the door. The little furrows etched into the surface marked his frustration. “You’re right. I never would’ve given you the time of day.”

  She snorted. “That’s what I thought.”

  “But not for the reason you think.”

  Lena laughed, the sound bitter. “Is that so?”

  “Yes. I’m more animal than man sometimes. My cats are…” He tried to come up with something that didn’t sound horrible. Couldn’t. There was no hiding the truth. She might as well find out how messed-up in the head he was. “I’m not whole, Lena. Do you understand?”

  After a long moment, she cleared her throat. “Yes, I understand.”

  “Good.” He turned the doorknob. The door remained locked. “Open the door.”

  “No. I’m going back to bed. I’m tired.”

  Devin rattled the handle. “Lena. Let me in.”

  “What part of no don’t you understand?”

  He fisted his hands and took several calming breaths. “Okay. We don’t have to talk right now. I’ll just hold you while you sleep.”

  Silence met him.

  “Lena?”

  He waited for her response. Didn’t get one.

  “Lena! Open this door!”

  “No. I’m tired, now leave me alone!”

  “Screw this.” He rammed his shoulder into the door as he twisted the handle. The hinges snapped under his weight. He propped the door closed behind him.

  She took a step back and pointed at him. “Get. Out.”

  He grabbed a suitcase and shoved it in front of the door. With their privacy assured, he turned and drank in the sight of his mate. Tousled hair framed a face of an angel. Though her eyes were red-rimmed, she no longer cried. Annoyance simmered in their chocolate depths.

  She pointed a dainty finger and thrust it in the direction of the door. “Do you have a hearing problem? I said, get out.”

  He closed the distance between them. She backed up, then huffed and pointed her fine-boned hand in the direction of the door.

  “Get. Out.”

  Yeah, he didn’t think so. He stepped next to the bed. “You are a gift, one I never thought I’d find. Not a mistake. Never that.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Oooh, is that some lame attempt at soothing me? Because let me tell you, it’s not working.”

  He grinned. Lena wasn’t anything like the shifter females he’d known. Well, except for his sister, and she didn’t count. “No, it’s the truth. I wasn’t expecting to find my mate when I came to Delaware. Or anywhere for that matter. I didn’t think I deserved one.”

  She studied him with undisguised calculation. He could almost see the wheels turning in her head. When her finger started tapping against her chin, he knew he was in for trouble. And still, he waited anxiously for her to speak.

  “So, this mate business…” She nibbled on a fingernail for a few moments before letting her finger slip free. “How does that work? Do you have one pre-destined mate like
in those romance novels that are so popular?” She raised her brows. “You know, a big, strong alpha male will spend his whole life searching for that one female meant to be his?” Her lip quivered as if she fought to maintain her composure. “Or will any ol’ girl do for you?”

  Yep, he was in trouble.

  “Yes and no.”

  “Explain.”

  “Shifters are promised one true mate.” He focused on her shoulder and picked his words carefully. If he didn’t, Lena would put two and two together and figure out what he didn’t want her to know. “But finding her is a challenge. Think of it. One woman out of the billions on the planet in any lifetime.”

  She backed up more, moving to the center of the bed. “You’re immortal.”

  He inclined his head. “And living alone for centuries while awaiting a true mate gets lonely.”

  “And to fill the time, you’re screwing every woman who’ll spread her thighs for you, leaving a string of one-night stands behind?”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “One-off lovers are common among shifters. We enjoy sex as much as any human male, but shifters avoid commitments because we all hope to find our true mate. One-night stands fit our needs.”

  “Oh, okay. That makes sense.” Her eyes widened. “So you only slept with Anne and Jill once?”

  He opened his mouth, the lie on the tip of his tongue, because he saw the trap looming in front of him, but he refused to deceive his female.

  “Wolf shifters don’t count. I can never mate them, and they don’t expect anything from me except sex.”

  “Then why—”

  He pressed a single finger to her lips. “No whys. You need to stop questioning my motives and listen to my words. None of those women mattered. They we’re my true mate. You are.”

  She pinched her brows and studied him intently. “You keep calling me that. How is a true mate different from a regular mate?”

  “A true mate bridges a shifter, allowing both the man and his animals to live in peace. That’s an incredible accomplishment. A miracle, really. It’s difficult sharing a body with other souls. Yes, my cats are animals, but each has its own personality. Each is dominant. They’re stubborn and don’t always see the world the way I do. They also don’t always get along with each other, but they have no choice. Neither do I.”

  A contemplative look passed over her face. “It was them who controlled you back in those woods. Their instincts.”

  “Yes. Those shifters hurt you and threatened Molly. In my cats’ eyes, they deserved to die. I agreed and embraced their need to avenge.”

  She looked down. The guarded expression she wore didn’t bode well for him. “I got in your way, and you mated me to save me.”

  Her tone didn’t invite a response. She spoke for herself. Her nod confirmed his guess.

  “A mate bond is for life.” She glanced at him. “Right? That’s why you want to move me into your house and announce to the world that I’m your mate. You only get one so you might as well make the best of the situation.”

  “It’s true that a mating is for life, but—”

  “And once you announce to the world I’m yours, you can invoke mating law.” Her intent look dared him to lie to her.

  “You are leading this conversation in a direction I don’t want to take it. I have no plans of invoking mating law. I won’t do that to you.”

  “Yes, I’m directing this conversation, but I’m trying to understand everything since it’s apparent I’m too fragile and stupid to accept the realities of the situation.”

  “Those were Vader’s words. Not mine.”

  “So you don’t think I’m fragile or stupid.”

  “Of course not. You’re brave and smart.”

  “I’m glad you feel that way.” She smirked. “And since you do, tell me everything. What part of this whole mating thing are you hiding from me?”

  He inwardly cursed. Lying to his mate wasn’t an option, but he couldn’t tell her the truth. Not yet. “I will tell you everything soon, but not now.”

  She leaned against the headboard and crossed her arms over her chest. “We still have two hours before we get to Alaska. That’s plenty of time to share everything.”

  “No. It’s not. I need to explain to you about our tie to the heavens, how the single shifters hate us because of it, and how we’ve been exploited for the abilities the goddesses passed down to us. Then once I drop all that on you, I need to tell you about my past, my twin’s past, and the prophecy that hangs over her head.” He pointedly glanced at the clock. “That’s not something I can do justice to in the short time we have together.”

  “Then explain to me what mating law is. Surely you can squeeze that into the two hours we have.”

  He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “I can, but I’d rather touch you again.”

  She pressed her hands to his chest. “I want to touch you too. More than I’ve ever wanted another man, but I need answers. If you don’t give them to me, I’ll assume the worst.”

  He sat back. “On one condition.”

  “And that is?”

  “You won’t hold it against me. I have no plans to invoke it. I respect you too much to ever do that.”

  A bitter sound escaped her. “Great. I’m not going to like it, am I?”

  “No.”

  She matched his position, inching her body closer to his until their knees touched. Such a small connection, but it pleased him.

  After a moment, she cocked a brow. “Well?”

  “Mating law gives a male complete control over his mate. What she’s allowed to eat. Who she can talk to her. Whether or not she’s ever allowed out of their house. When and how many children they’ll have.”

  “And that’s what Molly would’ve faced had those shifters gotten their hands on her.”

  “Most likely.”

  Lena fisted her hands. “How could they do that? It’s demoralizing.”

  “It’s a law that was written thousands of years ago. Mates were considered a liability but a necessity. Few follow the custom now.”

  “Why is a mate a liability?”

  “Because…” He picked his words carefully. “Because only a mated female can conceive. Lose her, and not only does her mate suffer her loss, but the shifter’s pride or pack. Children are precious and rare, especially Royal children. In our ancestor’s eyes, it was better to protect their mated females than risk something happening to them.”

  “Deciding what a woman can eat goes beyond protecting her. Way beyond it.”

  “No, unfortunately, it doesn’t.” He didn’t want to get into the story about their origins, but there was no avoiding at least the basics. “Not all, but many of the single shifters resent us for our immortality. It’s not fair in their eyes, but a Royal’s immortality wasn’t meant to be a gift, neither is our ability to help humans heal. Those things are a consequence of our tie to the goddesses who birthed our ancestors. We carry our goddesses’ blood in our veins.”

  “Are Royals still hated for their lineage?”

  “By some, yes. In our species’ early days, the animosity between the Royals and the single shifters was greater, though. Those who allowed the jealousy to rule them, sought ways to destroy the Royals and killing our women was the easiest way. We can’t be poisoned, but we can be sent into an induced sleep, exactly as a human would be. Once drugged, our animals can’t send a warning to others of the danger their hosts are in.”

  “So drug her food and kidnap her?”

  He cracked his jaw. “Yes, and distance negates our ability to connect with each other.”

  “Once they ran far enough, they could do anything they wanted and her mate wouldn’t be able to find her. To avoid that, he’d hand select her food and keep her away from threats. That’s where this is going, isn’t it?”

  Devin nodded. “The law was meant to protect our females, not punish them. As can happen with many things, it was abused, but the heart of it lives on. A shifter male will guar
d his mate by any means he can. In our modern age, he must simply do so while remaining understanding of her feelings.”

  She stared at him for a long moment, then laid her hand over his. “And that’s why hurting me put that tortured look on your face back in the hotel. You caused me pain.”

  He gathered her close. “If it was possible, I would’ve given my life for yours.”

  She remained silent for a long moment, then cleared her throat. “No matter what I do, you’ll find ways to protect me, even if you have to watch me from the shadows.”

  The careful tone she used left him wary but he wouldn’t lie. “Yes.”

  “This is what Vader meant about taking my choice away.”

  Not exactly. The guilt landed hard in his gut. He’d said he wouldn’t lie but wasn’t a diversion the same thing? And if he did answer completely, she’d be saddled with her own dose of guilt.

  He was torn. Both choices would destroy her.

  “If you decide being my mate isn’t a role you want, then you can walk. I won’t stop you.”

  She tipped her head back. “But you’ll still watch over me, won’t you? If I fall in love with a human and marry him, you’ll be close.”

  Primitive drives swamped him. He wanted to deny her. His promise when she’d lain sick in his arms stopped him. He would earn her love. Not force it.

  “If that’s the life you choose, I won’t interfere.” He slipped his hand around the back of her neck and drew her close. “But I don’t want you to focus on the what-ifs.”

  “What do you want to focus on?”

  “Us. Our growing bond.”

  He kissed her deeply. Eyes closed, he focused on Lena’s taste, the soft sounds she made, the way she matched him, but tension slithered into his muscles. Guilt was a dangerous thing. So were diversions, though. If he kept avoiding Lena’s questions, he’d lose her. But with her sisters still missing, she shouldn’t have to deal with the fate of his soul. That decision could wait.

  He added the guilt to the well he carried. What was a little more? He’d make up for everything as soon as Gwen and Molly were safe.

  Chapter 26