by Dana Archer
He’d been dealing with those emotions for three hundred years. Worse than she had. She only held a piece of his soul.
She wanted to tell him how much she respected him. How frustrated she was that he hadn’t told her everything in the first place. How she wanted to hunt down whoever had hurt him and make them suffer. She’d bet that was the reason too.
“What caused your mind to splinter?”
He withdrew from her—the warmth fading from his eyes. He dropped his hands and made his way to the door. “We’ll talk more later. I need to check on Molly.”
The door opened, and he walked out.
He’d admitted that her presence soothed him, but he still didn’t believe she was tough enough to handle the truth.
And until he treated her as his equal, telling her everything, maybe it was best they held off on soul-bonding.
It didn’t mean she’d walk away. Devin might’ve fought for them—urging her to feel their connection and know it was real—but she would fight for him.
His past had damaged him. She’d seen that in his expression moments ago. Until he came to terms with it, he’d never be whole.
Chapter 32
Devin paced the length of the downstairs from the kitchen to the entryway. He needed space to work through the mess of emotions—his and his cats’—before he screwed things up with Lena. He’d avoided her all evening. It wasn’t fair to her, but he couldn’t come up with a response to her question that didn’t involve a lie.
She wanted to know about his past. It was her right. She was his true mate. There was no reason not to tell her, especially since she would share in his memories once they soul-bonded. Then she’d be able to relive every horrid encounter if she wanted, seeing the tortures and abuse through his eyes.
The memories sickened him. Angered him. Left him feeling helpless. None of those reasons were what had prompted him to walk away from her, though. It was the fact he hadn’t saved Mira that he wanted to hide from Lena. That shamed him. If only he hadn’t fallen for his nanny’s lie, he would’ve been able to stop Edmund from hurting Mira.
But, no. Give him a plate of sweet cakes and a jug of milk and he ignored his duty to his twin.
Pathetic. That was what he’d been.
Devin quickened his pace, but no answer came to him. He couldn’t change the past. He had to accept it and move on. There was no forgiving his neglect nor did he want to be absolved of his sin. He simply couldn’t let the guilt choke him any longer.
He had done everything in his power to make up for not saving Mira—serving her sentence, defending her, taking her away from their birth family to spare her their ridicule, uplifting her when depression brought her down. He would continue to do those things, but allowing his failure to shadow his soul would only hurt Lena.
She deserved happiness, light, joy—all the good things in life. He would bring them to her, not make her sulk in the shadows with him.
He made his way to the living room where he’d left Lena with Molly and Vader. The presence of the other male no longer bothered Devin. The wolf shifter cared for Lena. Devin suspected it was because they’d been involved in the past. The details weren’t something he needed to know. Lena was with Devin, and she wanted to be his for eternity. A commitment of that magnitude didn’t allow for jealousy.
Lena sat on the edge of the sofa with a sleeping Molly curled next to her. Still in her cub form, Molly looked small on the huge sectional. A shifter’s animal didn’t grow as quickly as its host, and Molly’s lioness was about the size of a nine-week old cub. Asleep, she looked content and at peace. Actually, she had while she’d been awake too. Only that moment with Vader in the woods had she shown the predator side of her persona.
Devin glanced from the ball of white fur to Lena. The sunshine streaming through the window brought out the highlights in her hair, a range of hues from blonde to dark brown.
Drawn to her, he ambled to the couch. The silky strands of her hair were spread over her back. He ran his hand over the russet and wheat strands. A wave of contentment swept through him. All it had taken was a simple touch. Amazing. He gave in to his craving for her and lifted a lock of hair to his nose. Coconut and Lena. His personal heaven.
Eyes closed, he took a moment to enjoy the peace and sanity she restored. He never thought he’d have a mate, a female to share life with—the good and the bad.
The warm feeling in his chest spread. He understood what it was. Love. It had taken root sometime between when she’d looked into his eyes and asked if she was dying and the moment she’d told him she wouldn’t let him go.
He let her hair slip through his fingers. “Where’s Vader?”
“He went into the kitchen to make a tray of Molly’s favorite foods. We were hoping to coax her into shifting so she could eat them.” Lena motioned to the zonked-out cub. “She fell asleep the minute he left.”
“She’s had a busy afternoon.”
“Playing and ignoring us.”
“That’s tough work for a little cub.”
Lena stroked Molly’s back. The cub didn’t react. A good thing. It meant she felt safe.
“She won’t acknowledge me.” Lena’s statement was laced with pain.
“Molly’s in there.”
Lena stood and walked to the far end of the room. Devin followed her and leaned against the wall next to her.
“I’m worried about her.” Lena glanced at him. “Vader was telling me the longer she stays in her animal form, the harder it will be to return to her human one.”
“He’s right. Our animals are meant to complement us, not rule us. They normally live in…” How could he describe a mystical realm to someone who’d never walked through one?
“When I close my eyes and open myself to my cats, I can look into their world. It’s a part of me, but it doesn’t exist within me.” He glanced at her to judge her reaction. She studied him with open curiosity. “I suppose I’m the doorway to it. When they’re not in this world, they live there. When I shift and give them access to my world, I go there and look through their eyes to know what’s going on. Depending on how much control I give them, I can either exert my will completely over them or I can get lost in their world, giving them free rein.”
“Molly”—he motioned toward her—“is watching, but only absently. If something in our world catches her attention, she’ll stop what she’s doing and focus on it, but otherwise, she’s engrossed in her cat’s world. If she’s not careful, she might not find her way out. That’s a danger all shifters face, no matter their age, but for kids, it’s more dangerous. They want to play, and it’s refreshing to let everything go and do that.”
Lena looked from Molly to him. “How do I help her?”
“Patience and stubbornness. Sometimes it takes trial and error before we hit on the trigger that’ll draw her back, but there is one, and I’ll find it. I won’t give up on her.”
Lena swallowed hard. “You’ve worked with other kids before.”
“Yes.” Devin lowered his voice and picked his words carefully in case their sleeping cub wasn’t actually asleep. “I know where they’re coming from. I spent three decades suffering unimaginable situations, including some of the things you’d described about Molly’s treatment.”
Lena stepped in front of him but not quickly enough to block the sight of Molly’s pale blue feline eyes focusing on him.
“That’s why—”
He pressed a finger to her lips, stopping her words, then leaned close and whispered into her ear. “Do not react, but your little sister has found something interesting to draw her attention. Us.”
He eased back. “It’s a time I’d rather not talk about at the moment, but surviving it made me stronger. They couldn’t break me, and they didn’t break Molly. I’m very proud of her. I’ll tell her that too as soon as she decides to return to us.”
Lena smiled at him. Love shone in her eyes. “Me, too. I’m proud of both of you.”
He wrapped his ar
ms around Lena and looked over her head at Molly. The force of her personality burned in her eyes. Oh yes, she was in there, and she’d grow into a force to be reckoned with.
The living room door banged open. Maggie, the older human female Devin had only briefly spoken with, stood in the hall. She pointed toward the windows.
“They’re back.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “But Gwen isn’t with them.”
“Oh, no.” Lena covered her mouth.
Devin glanced at Molly who’d backed into the corner of the sofa. “Molly, stay here with Maggie and watch over her. We’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”
Molly’s posture eased. Not an acknowledgment, but it might as well have been.
It also gave him the opening he’d need to get through to the little girl. She was a dominant. He’d treat her as such.
Chapter 33
Devin followed Lena down the hall, but gently grasped her wrist before she reached the entryway. He stepped in front of her and flung open the door. A steady, cold rain fell, the wind whipping through the yard. Unfazed by the storm, Dante and Xander walked naked across the yard. The sight of them alone meant only one thing.
They’d lost another female.
Lena shoved a pile of clothes at him. He took the sweats and tossed them onto the porch. She tried to squeeze past him, but he tucked her, face first, against his chest so she couldn’t see the other males’ nakedness.
“Can’t breathe,” her muffled voice called out.
He eased his hold and slid his hand into Lena’s hair to hold her still until both males were covered.
Dante stepped next to them and pulled Lena from his arms. Devin offered no resistance.
With Dante’s short black hair, hard black eyes, and harsh expression, Dante looked every ounce the predator he was, yet the gentle way he enfolded Lena in his arms showed the side of his personality he reserved for family. Anyone else who found themselves in the same position usually died. Assassins were like that, though. They used any means to take out their prey.
“Welcome to the family, sister.”
Dante released her after giving her cheeks a kiss. Hands on her waist, he lifted her and held a dangling Lena in front of him. The sight of Lena’s wide eyes and open mouth tore a chuckle from Devin’s throat.
Dante leveled his icy stare on him. “Problem?”
Devin shook his head and took his female, setting Lena on her feet next to him.
“No, just forgot how much I’ve missed my little brother.” Dante was the only other member of his birth pride besides Mira that Devin spoke to. Of course, that was probably because he’d left their pride lands shortly after Devin and Mira had. “It’s been much too long since you’ve visited.”
“I’ve been busy.”
Lena glanced between them, questions in her eyes, but what came out of her mouth killed the joy seeing his sibling brought. “You were too late. Weren’t you?”
Vader skidded down the hall before Dante could answer. “Where’s Gwen?”
Dante, in his usual bluntness, said, “She’s dead.”
Lena groaned. The tears he’d seen simmering in her eyes all morning fell. Devin cradled her against his chest. He turned his attention to his brother and Xander. “What happened?”
“We found where they’d most likely”—Xander closed his eyes—“killed her.”
“Are you sure?” Vader asked.
“Yes.” Xander nodded. “I scented Gwen’s blood and the stench of death.”
“The Winchester alpha’s right. It’s a good assumption without actually witnessing the act.” Dante shrugged. “Although there were other humans in the warehouse. It could’ve been one of them who’d died, I suppose, but Gwen’s blood coated the mattress we found.”
Lena scrubbed at her tears. “Did you find her body?”
Dante shook his head.
“Then”— Lena straightened—“she could still be alive, right?”
Dante sighed. “The amount of blood—”
Lena buried her face against Devin’s shirt and choked on a sob. He rubbed her back and glanced at Dante. “No body means she might still be alive.”
Maggie stepped into the hall with Molly’s cub form in her arms. “The place was deserted, I assume.”
Devin inwardly cursed. “Molly shouldn’t be—”
“Yeah.” Dante cut Devin off. “We scouted the area, picked up their trail, but it ended abruptly. They must’ve gotten into a helicopter or plane.”
“Then there’s hope.” Lena tipped her head back. “Right?”
Devin ran a finger down her cheek. “Yeah, there’s hope.”
“Did you check out the site where they’re building the safe house?” Maggie asked. At Dante’s nod, she tapped a single finger against her chin. “Hmmm, what about the old mining village?”
“I didn’t think of it. Nobody’s lived there for years.” Anger tightened Dante’s expression.
“Exactly.” Maggie nodded. “Makes it a perfect hideout for criminals. Wouldn’t you say?”
“Yeah, it would.” Dante walked toward the phone on the hall table. “I’ll make a quick call to the Shifter Council to let them know we have the kid, then I’ll head out there.”
Lena stiffened. “Maggie, please take Molly upstairs.” Lena waited until they were out of sight then slowly turned her head and glared at Dante. “And why would you do that, brother?”
Dante narrowed his eyes, leveling a look on her most humans would cower under. “There are protocols to follow, sister.”
She shoved out of Devin’s arms and stepped closer to Dante.
“No. Those elders of yours sold her. If it wasn’t for Devin, she’d be gone.” She poked one single finger at Dante’s chest. “I don’t care if we have to lie and pretend that Molly is just a regular lioness. We’re keeping her. Hidden and safe. Nobody will ever threaten her again.”
Devin rested his hand on her shoulder. “Of course we are. Dante just didn’t understand the situation before. He does now.”
With his gaze locked to Lena’s, Dante nodded. “So I do.”
Vader pushed past Dante. “I’m going after Gwen.”
“No. I am.” Xander shoved Vader back.
The two males glared at each other, lips lifted in matching snarls.
“This is no time for your alpha bullshit. If you’re so concerned about Gwen, then we both go.” Vader challenged his alpha.
“Fine.” Xander stepped out of his pants, then jogged into the woods with Vader at his side.
“Fighting wolves. This’ll be fun.” Sarcasm dripped from Dante’s words, but he followed behind them.
Devin faced Lena. “I’m going too. Kade will protect you.”
She kissed him, a quick peck on the lips. “Bring my sister home.”
He squeezed her hand instead of answering, then ran after Dante and the others. Devin refused to lie to his mate and the odds they’d find Gwen alive were slim. Dante’s judgement of the amount of Gwen’s blood soaking the mattress was probably a good indicator of her fate.
Devin picked up the bloody gauze and sniffed it. Gwen’s scent clung to it. “Why bandage her wounds if they’d planned on killing her?”
“Killing her might’ve been an accident,” Vader answered.
Devin surveyed the abandoned cabin. On the table in the corner sat a nearly empty bottle of vodka, more bandages, and a broken piece of wood.
He walked toward the display and picked up the snapped tree limb. The bark had been stripped from it and the impression of teeth showed in the soft wood. He ran his fingertip over the indentions. “They tried to help her.”
Vader snatched the piece of wood. “How badly was she hurt?”
“I don’t know, but at least they’re tending her wounds. It’ll give us time to find her.”
“If she doesn’t bleed to death first.” Vader fisted handfuls of his hair. “Why would she get into a car with a shifter in the first place?”
“She probably thought that with
Molly’s scent masked they were safe.”
Vader dropped the gnawed piece of wood and picked his way through the debris littering the floor. “And if the bear didn’t notice Molly’s shifter status, he would’ve picked up my scent and known they were important to a Royal.”
“She didn’t know she was your beloved human?”
With his fingers gripping the edge of the door, Vader froze. His claws slipped free and embedded into the wood. “No. She didn’t know anything. Gwen avoided me as if I carried the plague. I figured she hated me for getting involved with her sister.”
“You’re drawn to her.”
Vader snorted. “You can say that, but like I said, she didn’t feel the same, so I let her go.”
Devin sighed. He didn’t bother telling the other male that he should’ve pursued Gwen if he’d wanted her. What was done, was done.
“Come on, let’s catch up to Xander and Dante.” They’d split up before reaching the abandoned village. They’d seen smoke billowing in the distance and had gone to investigate.
“When I find her, I’m telling her everything,” Vader announced in a determined voice.
“Good. Gwen might be angry, but she deserves the truth.” Devin leapt the length of the porch and jogged down the rutted street, avoiding the puddles.
Xander emerged from the tree line as they approached. One look at his ashen face and Devin knew. Vader wouldn’t get the chance to explain anything. They were too late.
“The plane crashed.” Xander swallowed hard. “It’s still in flames.”
Devin closed the door to Lena’s bedroom softly behind him. Lena slept on her stomach, her silky hair spread over her back. Moonlight cast a faint glow over her, making her look ethereal, more an angel than a siren. He drank in the sight of her.
His mate was everything he could’ve asked for. She was fearless and brave. A survivor. He respected and loved her for that, and he hated that he would destroy her with his news.