by Dana Archer
He stripped on the way across the room and sat on the edge of the mattress, facing the open window. He didn’t know how long he stared at the swaying tree branches but the bed creaked and a delicate hand pressed against his back.
“You didn’t find her.”
He hung his head, letting the regret wash over him. Another squeak and Lena laid her cheek against his back. Wetness trailed down his spine. He turned and pulled his mate into his lap. With her cradled in his arms, he said, “Gwen’s dead.”
Lena didn’t argue, didn’t yell, didn’t say anything. She cried, pitiful sobs that broke his heart. He held her, rubbed her back, and let her grieve. When the tears finally slowed, he kissed the trail away. He crawled onto the bed and curled his body around hers.
“I’m sorry, angel.”
A long moment passed before she whispered, “The Leon spirit was right.”
“He spoke to you?”
“A couple of months ago. He told me not to get on the plane, that it would destroy me. Once I realized he wasn’t talking about a plane crash, I’d assumed he’d meant what I overheard on the plane. That had hurt. Made my heart ache.” She traced his pecs, idly as if she needed to do something, while her gaze was locked on some distant point across the room. “I was wrong. It’s this. Learning I’ve failed my sisters.”
“You can’t blame yourself. You—”
“Devin?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t want to talk any more. Will you just hold me?”
He kissed her temple. “Of course.”
Devin settled behind her on the bed and held her tightly. There wasn’t anything he could say while she choked on guilt. He understood that. He’d listened to countless attempts over his lifetime as his loved ones tried to help him cope with his guilt. None of those conversations had helped. He’d only pretended they had so his friends and family wouldn’t suffer with him.
Only Lena had guided him past the crippling effects of his guilt. He’d do the same for her.
Chapter 34
Devin stole a quick peek at Lena before focusing on the dirt driveway leading up to his house in West Virginia. The same deadened expression she’d worn the past week slackened her features. He’d hoped bringing her to his pride lands would help. So far, it hadn’t. Her pain beat at him, and he didn’t know what to do to erase it.
He’d tried to get her to talk about her job, her hobbies, her favorite movies, anything to remind her that life was waiting for her. Nothing had worked. Even being with Molly hadn’t helped. Considering the little girl hadn’t shifted back into her human form yet, Devin wasn’t all that surprised, but he’d hoped Lena would’ve at least tried to remain positive for Molly’s sake. Lena hadn’t. She’d slunk away every time Molly was near and retreated to her bedroom.
And slept.
She’d claimed she was tired. That she was still recovering from her wounds. Devin knew better. She was suffering with depression. Choked by her guilt.
He parked the car. “We’re here.”
“You live in a trailer?”
“I’ve only been in West Virginia for a little over a month. Mira and I had an RV when we first relocated here, but it was too small. I upgraded.” He chuckled, remembering his twin’s glower when the humans delivered the beat-up box of metal. “This is only temporary. Our home is under construction, but it’ll be a few more months before we can move in. The builders in this area aren’t staffed to meet the number of jobs they’ve been contracted for since Kade and Xander decided to move their families here.”
“I thought cats and dogs didn’t get along. Why would you want to live so close to each other?” Lena’s smile appeared forced but at least she was trying to lighten the mood.
Devin returned her grin, letting warmth fill his expression. “We don’t always, but there are benefits to living close to one another. Protection and security being the biggest motivators. Although our animals guide our choices, they don’t rule us. Friendships count and a lot of the younger wolves grew up with our pride. I’m more concerned over the reaction from the local packs once they realize not only has a Royal pride moved close to them but a Royal pack.”
“They haven’t figured it out?”
“Packs rarely leave their territory so unless we announce it or they stumble upon us, they won’t know. Kade has a meeting scheduled with one of the Kagan dominants later this month. Sean Reynolds. He’s young. Barely matured. Kade thinks contacting Sean will be our best bet to avoiding a pack war. The younger generations are usually more willing to make alliances.”
She turned in her seat, a concerned look on her face. “Will they try to hurt you? Because if they do, we should make plans to move or something. We can’t have them starting some war or alert Shifter Affairs to our business. We don’t want them anywhere near Molly.”
The noose that had been slowly choking him eased. He’d found his way through Lena’s depression. She had the soul of a fighter and the heart of an alpha female. She was meant to protect. Gwen’s death and the loss of Molly to her cat form had destroyed Lena’s confidence in herself.
Devin lifted Lena’s hand to his mouth and kissed her inner wrist. Her pulse was steady. Strong. He met her gaze. “They might be angry, but they won’t come at us directly. They won’t want to cause problems any more than we do. This is their home too. They’ll want to protect their holdings. Kade’s going to make Sean a business deal from what I understand.”
“So what? Do you just plan to hide here?” She raised a brow. “Because that’s not the smartest move.”
“Do you have a suggestion?”
“I agree with Kade about making allies, but it should be with both the shifters in this area and the locals. Be friendly. Help them. Get involved in community stuff. We want them to see us as their friends, not something to fear.”
Us. The single word warmed him. He grinned. “I think that’s a wonderful idea. I’ll need your help, though. I’m not very good around humans.”
“You got it.” She slipped out of the car and scanned the area. “Will you show me around your place?”
Devin joined her and hooked an arm around her back. “Sure, then we can go get some dinner.”
He opened the trailer’s door and tasted the scents in the air, sighing in relief. Empty. Since he wasn’t ready to deal with Mira’s reaction to Lena, he’d called ahead of time and ordered her out. Kade had suggested he tell his sister about mating Lena before arriving. Devin had thought that was a conversation best had in person. That way, he could take his twin’s verbal lashing like a man.
Even if he had mated Lena to save her life, he’d still taken the choice out of her hands. That would hit too close to home for Mira, especially once she learned he hadn’t been sure Lena was his true mate until after the fact.
Lena slipped past him and glanced around, her gaze skipping over the articles in the room. He studied her neutral expression and waited for some kind of reaction. Got none. While he had a substantial portfolio, he rarely tapped into it. Material things didn’t mean much to him. The thirty-year-old trailer served its purpose. Besides, he rarely used the place unless it was raining anyway. He loved spending his days surrounded by nature.
“While I’d originally planned to build a small two-bedroom home, we can meet with the builders and select something bigger or a private house just for us if you don’t want to live with my twin. Money isn’t a problem. If you want a mansion with a garage full of those fancy sports cars you like, you can have it.”
“I grew up in a small apartment.” She motioned toward the ugly brown couch. “This is fine.”
“For now. I want you comfortable, and I want Molly to have plenty of room to play. We’ll stop by Kade’s house later and grab the packet of building plans he has.”
“Why does Molly need a lot of space?”
“I talked with Megan’s human guardian, Josh, about having both girls spend the weekends here. It’ll give me a chance to work with Molly, and it helps out
Josh too, since he usually spends every weekend at his bar.”
She made a noncommittal sound, and her shoulders slumped.
The sight angered him. He wanted to take all her guilt away. Make her happy. He couldn’t. Not overnight. The clue she gave him a few moments ago would help, though. He just had to be patient. In the face of her sadness, it wasn’t enough.
“I know talking about Molly upsets you, but you can’t give up on her. She’ll sense your doubt, and it’ll make reaching her that much more difficult.”
Lena turned away. “I hadn’t realized I was letting it show. I’m sorry.”
“It’s understandable. You’re depressed.”
She wheeled around, and her long hair whipped out, arcing around her as if it were a living entity. “Depressed? I’m not depressed. I’m angry. At those shifters who killed Gwen, the sadists who hurt Molly, and the people at Shifter Affairs who were supposed to protect us.”
Hands fisted, she advanced on him. “But the person I’m most angry with is you.”
If she’d said those same words to him immediately after the accident, he would’ve assumed she was implying that she hated him for mating her. The events since had convinced him of her commitment to him and her feelings. She cared for him. Maybe loved him. Why she focused her animosity on him, however, was a mystery. One that needed to be solved.
“Me?”
“Yes, you.”
“Are you going to tell me why?”
She scrunched her nose and looked at him as if he was something wretched she might’ve stepped in. “You made me fall in love. You showed me what it was like to be happy. To be wanted. Even when I ran, you followed me. You held me. Loved me. Worshipped me. It’s not right, and it shouldn’t have happened.”
“Because your sisters were alone.”
She pressed her palms to her eyes. “Because they’ll never experience the same.”
“Molly will. She’ll recover. I’m proof of that.” He gently tugged her hands from her face and met her eyes. “I was hauled away at the age of fifteen and spent thirty years suffering various tortures. I emerged crazed. A breath away from turning feral. Only my obligation to Mira stopped me from turning completely feral, but I wasn’t whole, and I wasn’t sane. I lived like that for close to three centuries until I met you.”
“And Gwen?” He waited a moment until Lena raised her brows slightly. “If she’s Vader’s true mate, she’ll be reborn for him. They’ll keep getting chances until they get it right.”
“But they might not find each other.”
“When their spirits have grown and they’ve dealt with whatever has kept them apart, they will. I believe that. I never did trust the goddesses’ influence in our lives, but after meeting you, I do.”
“Devin. You are… I want…” She stared at him for a long moment, not finishing either sentence, then licked her lips. “Kiss me. I’ve missed your passion. I’ve missed us.”
Because while she’d grieved, he’d been her anchor, her supporter, and her friend. The role of her lover had been shelved.
He bent his head and pressed his lips to her. He poured his devotion into the melding of their mouths, trying to show her how important she was to him.
He ran his hand over her spine to settle at the dip above her bottom, then tugged her closer, bending her backward so he could continue kissing her.
Everything about her petite body appealed to him. She fit him, complementing him in ways he never knew needed a balance. Her smile lightened his soul, her laugh eased the pain in his heart, and her kisses delivered a passion he’d never known was possible.
He broke their wild kiss and gazed into the face of the female who’d succeeded in capturing him. His mate. His world.
His love.
He wanted to tell her, but he didn’t want to put her on the spot. Saying ‘I love you’ obligated the other person to say the words back. She wasn’t ready, not after admitting she felt guilty for being in love.
“You are the most beautiful female I’ve ever seen.”
She gave him a small smile. The truth was there in her eyes for him to see. She loved him.
He brushed the loose wisps of her hair from her cheek. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes on a soft sigh. His hands shook as he slid them to her shoulders. “Lena, I…I…”
The words wouldn’t come out so he tugged her closer, wrapping her in his embrace. With her cheek pillowed against chest, he closed his eyes and enjoyed his little slice of heaven.
Chapter 35
For the first time in days, Devin felt confident everything would work out. Molly hadn’t shifted back into her human form yet, but she was interacting more, even responding to their directions, and Lena’s mood had improved significantly since the encounter they’d shared earlier in the day. Yes, they would all need time, but they’d heal and emerge stronger.
He tucked Lena against him and surveyed the packed bar. The Black Widow didn’t have much competition in the area. Even if it had, he was positive the place would still be full of people. The dark-paneled walls combined with minimum lighting—a few wall sconces—instilled an ambience of mystery. There were plenty of corners where lovers could cuddle or booths for groups to socialize.
A mix of local sports memorabilia and images of classic cars—two areas of great interest to the tavern’s founder—decorated the walls. The bar itself gleamed. The highly polished counter never appeared cluttered. Empty glasses were always removed and square napkins trashed. Bottles of liquor—all dusted and organized by popularity—lined the back shelves. Several beer taps offering local brands and the standard domestic offerings served the needs of most customers while microbrews, imports, and mixed drinks satisfied the rest.
Devin surveyed the room and enjoyed the sense of pride settling over him. He turned to Lena to gauge her reaction. “Well? What do you think?”
She nodded. “It’s nice.”
“It’s also mine.”
Her brows rose. “You own a bar?”
“Co-own, but yeah. Just signed the agreement a few weeks back. I can’t say I’ve helped much in the daily operations.” He shrugged. “I guess I’m more of a financial backer, but I hope to get more involved.”
She studied the bar with intense scrutiny. His muscles locked as he waited for her reaction. She faced him, grinning. He released a breath.
“I really like it, Devin. It’s very classy and looks popular. You should be proud.”
He returned the smile. “I am, but this is all Josh’s handiwork. The male’s a stickler for perfection.”
Her smile turned into an amused smirk. “Josh, the guy Megan wanted me to marry and have lots of kids with?”
“Yes. Look, there’s something I need to tell you about Josh. A few weeks ago, I…” The back of his neck itched as embarrassment replaced the sense of pride he’d experienced showing off the bar. He rubbed at the annoying sensation. “Before you came into my life, I had trouble controlling my moods, and I…”
Movement caught Devin’s eye. Josh strode purposely toward them with a wide, welcoming smile on his face. At a little over six feet, Josh was tall, and if the attention he received from the opposite sex was any indication, attractive.
Piercing blue eyes met Devin’s dead-on, a response that had surprised him at first. Although human, Josh was an alpha, not simply a dominant. He greeted his peers as such.
Once Devin nodded, acknowledging him, Josh turned his attention to Lena. Surprise flickering in his eyes, Josh’s gaze settled on the proprietary way Devin held Lena with an arm wrapped around her waist.
One corner of Josh’s mouth quirked higher, and he swept a casual glance over her body. Devin tensed but calmed when the human showed no sign of sexual interest. Curiosity, not lust. Good. Devin wouldn’t have to beat Mira’s beloved human. Again.
“Josh, this is Lena. Lena, Josh.”
“Hi, Lena.”
Lena stared at Josh openmouthed. He knew what stunned her, the ugly scar running
down Josh’s cheek.
“Did you get attacked?”
Josh met his gaze. “You could say that.”
Devin’s warning look didn’t faze the human. Josh’s grin widened.
Devin snapped his teeth together. “It’s just a small scratch. No biggie.”
Josh touched his cheek. “Yeah, it adds character.” He focused on Lena and shrugged. “And it’s what I get for irritating Devin.”
She slowly turned her head and stared at him. Anger didn’t hover in her eyes. Neither did disgust. He couldn’t decipher it, but her look pierced him.
“This is what you were talking about, isn’t it?”
Not the scar. Devin had never mentioned it. She was referring to his rage. That was what her expression meant.
“Yes.”
She twined her fingers with his. “It won’t happen again.”
No condemnation or warning tinged her voice. Determination did. She would make sure he never lost control. Her firm grip backed her vow.
“You’re right. I now have a perfect cure for my bad moods.”
She smiled at him, then faced Josh. “The doctors couldn’t help you?”
“It didn’t get tended to quick enough.” Devin cracked his jaw. “If he’d gone to the hospital and gotten stitches, it wouldn’t be as obvious.”
“And I would’ve looked weak for doing so. Nah, I wasn’t doing that.” A shit-eating grin spread over Josh’s face. “Besides, once Mira kissed my boo-boo, it felt so much better.”
Devin growled, mindful to keep the sound low so as not to alert the other humans that there was a predator in their midst. “Are you looking for another beating?”
Josh chuckled. “Just stating the facts.”
“Stay away from Mira.”
Josh stepped closer, eyes narrowing. “Why? Because I’m human or because she’ll finally learn what it’s like to be respected by a man instead of being treated like an object?”
“Back off, Josh.”
Lena stepped next to Josh and crossed her arms over her chest. “I think that’s a very good question. Which is it, Devin?”