Because of the Ring

by Stella Bagwell

  His words were like a slap that opened her eyes to the whole picture in front of her and humiliation burned through her like a shot of raw whiskey. She’d been a fool again. Just because she loved the man didn’t mean he reciprocated her feelings. Or that he ever would.

  “I guess you were right, Hayden. I got a little carried away. And I’ve put you in an awkward position. Sorry about that. Any smart girl ought to know that her feelings can’t always be returned.” Unable to hold his gaze, she dropped her head and whispered miserably, “I wasn’t thinking. I had this naive notion that if you knew that I loved you then you would automatically love me back.” She laughed in an effort to hide her pain and embarrassment. “I’m educated in science and how to teach it. But obviously not in the ways of men.”

  But he did care about her, damn it. In ways he was only now beginning to realize. But that didn’t mean he loved her. He wasn’t ever going to open his heart up to that sort of pain again.

  “Claudia—” he began remorsefully only to stop as she began to tug the opal from her finger. “What are you doing?”

  She took his hand and placed the ring in the center of his palm. “Here,” she said softly. “I think you should have this. After all, it once belonged to your grandfather. And there’s no need for me to keep it anymore.”

  Before he could respond, she grabbed up her bag and left the cabin. Behind her, Hayden snatched up the bundle of love letters along with his grandfather’s journal, then blew out the candle and hurried after her.

  She was halfway down the wooden dock by the time he caught up to her and even then she seemed intent on getting to the car and starting their trip home.

  No. Don’t call it home, Hayden. A home is a place where a family lives. And you don’t have one. You’ll never have one.

  “Claudia, I think we need to talk a little more about this.”

  She continued to walk in the direction of the car, her face forward, her eyes straight ahead. “Why? There’s nothing left to be said.”

  Then why did he feel as though there was plenty left unsaid between them? Hayden wondered.

  “Well, what are we going to do? Just leave things like this?”

  By now they had reached the spot where Hayden had parked the Lincoln. At the passenger door Claudia turned and found his face in the semidarkness. He looked grim, almost angry and she couldn’t figure why, except that she’d been an embarrassing pest to him these past few days.

  “There are no things to do anything with, Hayden. You have your life to live and I have mine. As for the ring…Well, for some reason our grandparents wanted us to know what happened between them.” She shrugged, while hoping he couldn’t see the ache that was beginning to consume every part of her. “Now we’ve discovered the truth. It’s finished. I’m relieved. You’re relieved.”

  “Relieved hell!” he growled while snatching hold of her upper arm. “You just told me that you were in love with me! Now you act as though you’d simply been discussing the weather.”

  “I’m sure you would have found the weather more interesting.” She purposely lifted her gaze to the sky. “Let’s see if I can give you a current forecast. I’d say the temperature is around eighty and the humidity about the same. The barometric pressure is probably thirty and falling. The skies are clear except for the western horizon where there’re a few stratocumulus clouds. In July, northern fronts are rarely ever weather-makers in south Texas, so I’d be safe to say the only chance of showers tomorrow would be the isolated kind that comes with the heating of the atmosphere. The dew point is a big factor here—”

  The remainder of her weather forecast was suddenly blotted out as his lips captured hers in a totally devouring kiss that lifted her feet right off the ground.

  She tried to remain stiff in his arms, to keep her mouth clamped against his sensual prodding, but after a few moments it was impossible. Everything inside her began to heat and melt. Everything inside her began to want him with a ferocity that stunned her.

  Groaning, she flung her arms around his neck and clung to him as he kissed her lips over and over until they were both so breathless he was finally forced to drag his mouth away.

  “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do this? How much I’ve needed you like this?” he whispered roughly as he pressed kisses over her cheeks, along the side of her neck, and on downward to where the neckline of her peasant blouse exposed a faint bit of cleavage between her breasts. “Oh, Claudia, this is what’s real. Not that stuff about the ring or the visions or destined love.”

  His lips were searing her skin with white-hot pleasure, making it physically impossible to push his head away. Tightening her hold on his neck, she fitted her hips to his. “I want you, too, Hayden. And maybe you’re right,” she murmured. “Maybe I don’t need forever from you. This might be enough for as long as it lasts.”

  The invitation of her body sent a wave of heat roaring right through him, but her following words were like a douse of ice water, sobering him as nothing else could have. With slow, stiff movements, he eased himself away from her and wiped a hand over his face.

  “Get in the car. Before I decide to take you up on your offer.”

  She made no move to do his bidding. Instead she tilted her chin defiantly up at him while the tip of her tongue came out to moisten her swollen lips. “Would that be so bad?” she asked.

  He unlocked the door and practically pushed her inside.

  “For someone like you? Yeah, real bad.”

  He closed the door with a resounding thud, then loaded her bag into the back seat. Moments later he slid behind the steering wheel and tossed the bundled letters and journal onto the expanse of seat between them.

  Her heart heavy, Claudia looked down at the worn, leather-bound journal, the yellowed, dog-eared envelopes. How could such beautiful, loving words seem like a mocking testimony now? she wondered sadly. This was not the way William and Betty Fay wanted things to be for their grandchildren. But then their intentions for a happy life together hadn’t worked out, either.

  “When we reach Victoria, you can leave me at a motel. I’ll catch a flight back to Fort Worth from there,” she said stiffly.

  He cursed as he started the car and backed onto the street. “Forget it. The airport there doesn’t support large airliners. You’d have to take a small commuter flight.”

  Finding it too painful to look at him, she stared out the passenger window as the shadowed docks began to slip from sight. She’d never sail on the Stardust again, she realized sorrowfully. Or see Hayden at the helm, his dark hair whipping in the breeze, his strong brown legs planted apart.

  “I don’t mind,” she said, her voice rough with unshed tears. “I only left a few things at your house. You can send them to me later. Or better yet, give them to someone.”

  “Forget it,” he repeated firmly. “I’m not leaving you at a motel anywhere! You’re going back to my place whether you like it or not.”

  “I was only trying to spare you any more trouble.”

  His mocking laugh was like a twist of a knife in Claudia’s heart.

  “Too bad you didn’t consider that before you ever came down here to south Texas.”

  “I wish I had, Hayden,” she whispered thickly.

  The next morning Hayden was cooking breakfast when Claudia entered the kitchen. She was wearing a beige sheath dress with a scooped-out neck and no sleeves. Her hair was pulled back into a tight French twist and golden hoops swung from her ears. In spite of her face being pale and lined with fatigue, she looked more beautiful to him than any woman he’d ever known. And he wondered how he was ever going to let her go.

  “Good morning. I hope you’re hungry,” he told her. “I’ve cooked enough for two.”

  Before last night, when they’d squared off at each other, she would have smiled at him. Now her face remained sober, even stoic, and Hayden realized looking at her like this was like greeting a cloudy morning. He was grateful to see it, but it wasn’t nearly as beautiful
as bright sunshine.

  “Yes. Thank you,” she told him. “With a long day of traveling ahead of me, I should probably eat.”

  Telling himself he had no right to feel stung by her coolness, he turned his attention back to the frying ham in front of him. “The coffee has already dripped if you’d like a cup.”

  She went to the cabinet and took down a cup. From the corner of his eye, he watched her fill it, then add cream. When she carried it over to the breakfast bar and took a seat, he realized he was disappointed that she hadn’t joined him at the cookstove.

  Having her company these past few days had become a sweet treat for Hayden. And having her close had become an obsession, he supposed. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t seem to get enough of touching her, hearing her voice, seeing her smile.

  But today that was all going to end. Unless a miracle happened. And Hayden didn’t believe in miracles. Hell, he didn’t even believe in himself anymore.

  Once the breakfast food was cooked, he filled two plates and carried them over to the little dining table by the windows.

  “This looks nice,” she said as she eased into the seat across from his. “Thank you for being such a considerate host.”

  He didn’t feel like a host and she didn’t seem like a guest. For the short time she’d been here, she’d become a part of him and a part of this place. It was going to be hell getting her out of both, he realized.

  “You’re welcome, Claudia.” He took a healthy swig of coffee, then doused his fried eggs with so much Tabasco sauce they turned orange. Hopefully, a little fire might pull him out of this lethargy that had come over him.

  “I’ve already called the airport this morning,” she wasted no time in telling him. “My flight leaves at nine-fifty this morning. Will we be back in San Antonio before then?”

  Looking across the table, he caught her gaze, then wished he hadn’t. The wounded shadows he saw there matched the dismal cloud spreading through his chest.

  “I’ll be ready to go as soon as we eat. You should have at least an hour to spare before your flight.”

  Nodding, she turned her attention to the food on her plate. Hayden sucked in a deep breath, then carefully released it.

  “Claudia, you don’t have to leave. You’re welcome to stay here longer—if you’d like.”

  Her head jerked up and immediately her eyes filled with unshed tears. “No thank you, Hayden. I’ll be going back home today.”

  Home. She was going home. Why the hell did she keep calling it that? he asked himself. She lived in an apartment. Alone. That couldn’t be any more of a home to her than this place was to him.

  Her parents are in Fort Worth, he silently reminded himself. At least she had some sort of family. Yes, but she didn’t have a man to share her life with. Someone to hold her and to make love to her. The way he wanted to.

  “Why?”

  She swallowed as a flood of emotions threatened to strangle her. “We both know why I can’t stay here, Hayden.”

  He sighed with heavy resignation. “Yeah. I guess we do.”

  Claudia lowered her head over her plate while across from her, Hayden studied her glossy brown hair, her smooth honey-colored skin and the moist curve of her mouth. Damn it, he was crazy for letting his conscience get in the way. If Claudia was willing to have an affair with him, he should be happy to comply. Most any normal, red-blooded man would jump at the chance to have such a relationship with a woman like Claudia. So why wasn’t he jumping? he mentally argued. Why wasn’t he jerking her out of that chair and carrying her to the bedroom?

  Because eventually she would want and need more from him than just a physical connection. When he couldn’t give it, she’d leave. And Hayden was smart enough to know that losing her after having her would be far, far worse than telling her goodbye today.

  “I’ve put your grandmother’s letters in a holder for you. They’re in the living room on the coffee table. Don’t forget to pick them up before we leave,” he said quietly.

  Clearing her throat, she looked up at him. “Actually, I don’t feel I have any right to the letters. They belonged to William and he was your grandfather.”

  “Yes, but they were written by your grandmother. You should have them. I’ll keep Granddad’s journal. And the ring,” he added. “If that’s what you want.”

  Claudia nodded in agreement. “It belongs here with you. I’ll never wear it again. I couldn’t bear to see your grandfather now.”

  Her voice broke to a strangled whisper on the last words and the sound tore a hole right through Hayden.

  “Claudia—” He reached for her hand, but she avoided his touch by quickly rising to her feet.

  “I’d better go pack the last of my things.”

  “Your breakfast—”

  “I’m finished,” she blurted, then hurried out of the room.

  Once she’d disappeared out the door, Hayden tossed down his fork and stared blindly at the birds feeding beyond the windows.

  She was finished all right, he thought dully. With breakfast and with him. Their time together was over. Now all he had to do was stand back and watch her walk out of his life.

  Chapter Ten

  A week later Claudia entered her parents’ house and found her mother in the kitchen preparing shrimp salad for their evening meal.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  The moment Marsha heard her daughter’s voice she turned away from the cabinet counter and greeted Claudia with a bright smile.

  “Oh, honey, I’m so glad you could come over this evening. With your dad gone on that fishing trip down in the hill country, this place is entirely too quiet for me.”

  Joining her mother at the row of oak cabinets, Claudia picked up a stick of celery and munched at one end. “You should get out more, Mom. Maybe take a part-time job.”

  Marsha laughed at her daughter’s suggestion. “I’m not that bored,” she said as she dropped the last few pieces of lettuce she’d been tearing into a large bowl. Once the task was finished, she stepped back to inspect her daughter with a keen eye. “You look so thin, darling. Haven’t you been eating?”

  Claudia shrugged. “It’s summer, Mom. With the temperatures hanging around a hundred, I don’t have much of an appetite.”

  “Hmm, that never seemed to bother you before.”

  A grimace tightened her gaunt features. “Well, there has been a lot of things going on in my life,” she reasoned. “Learning my grandmother was madly in love with a man other than my grandfather is rather jolting.”

  Sighing, Marsha turned back to the salad she was making. “Yes, what you discovered down in south Texas has shocked all of us. Not to say we disapprove of Betty Fay’s behavior,” she added with a shake of her head. “I mean, what is there to disapprove about? She met and fell in love with this William Bedford long before she met and married Amos Westfield. And from the way her letters read, once they parted, they never saw each other again, so it wasn’t like they cheated on anybody.”

  “Not physically, at least,” Claudia replied.

  With a look of bewilderment Marsha asked, “What other kind of cheating is there?”

  Rolling her eyes with disbelief, Claudia opened the cabinet and began to pull down plates and glasses. “Mom, think about it. Emotionally. Spiritually. How would you feel if you discovered Daddy had loved and longed for another woman all the time he’d been married to you? Wouldn’t that wound you?”

  Sudden understanding lit Marsha’s face. “I hadn’t thought about it like that. You’re right, honey. That would be awful. Even worse than what Tony did to you,” she said, then realizing how that must have sounded, she touched a hand to her daughter’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Claudia. I shouldn’t have said that. My mouth has always worked faster than my brain.”

  Claudia carried the plates and glasses over to a small glass-topped table situated at one end of the kitchen. Her mother was right, she thought. Tony’s philandering had hurt. But Hayden’s rejection of her love had virtual
ly crushed her. This past week she’d been trying to forget him, trying to tell herself that she was better off without him in her life. But so far she hadn’t convinced her heart.

  “Don’t apologize, Mom. Talking about Tony doesn’t bother me anymore.”

  She placed the plates and glasses on straw place mats, then walked back to the cabinet. As she dug silverware from a drawer, Marsha glanced at her.

  “I think you really mean that.”

  “I do mean it. That part of my past is over and done with. I’m very relieved I didn’t make the mistake of marrying him.”

  Marsha smiled, although her eyes were filled with concern. “I’m glad to hear it. But if that’s the case, then why aren’t you happy? You’ve solved the cause of your visions. You haven’t been having any more of them, have you?”

  Claudia shook her head. “No. And I don’t ever expect to. Now that I’ve gotten rid of the ring.”

  “Ah, the ring,” she said perceptively. “You know, your dad and I were both surprised that you left the opal with Hayden Bedford. Being a gift from your grandmother, it had always meant so much to you.”

  Claudia clutched the silverware in her fist and stared at a spot on the wall. “Well, the ring just doesn’t mean the same now. I’d always considered it a symbol of love. But it didn’t turn out that way.”

  Leaning her hip against the cabinet counter, Marsha folded her arms across her breasts and leveled a pointed look at her daughter. “I can’t imagine you saying such a thing. Now that we know about the love story between Betty Fay and William and how he’d given her the ring with a promise to marry her—well, you couldn’t get a more perfect symbol of lasting love. Haven’t you thought about it in those terms?”

  Claudia carried the silverware to the table and arranged it on the place mats. “Of course I have,” she told her mother. In fact, she’d thought of little else. That’s why it hurt even more to think of the ring and Hayden. But she couldn’t explain this to her mother without admitting that she’d fallen in love with the man and he’d rejected her. “But the ring has caused me a lot of misery that I’d like to forget.”