Broken Angel (English Edition)

by Tatiana Oliveira

  With sacrifice, she managed to control herself. She was fed up with the whirlwind of feelings that hit her, making her emotional live on a constant roller coaster, and although it was very difficult, she refused to allow it to shake her any more than she had already done. It was enough that her memories would always guide her into a panic attack, she could not let present actions do the same. He was far away, nothing he could do to hurt her. She was safe.

  She repeated it quietly, like a mantra, as she left the bed and the bedroom behind. She didn’t want to venture into the house, but she needed a glass of water to soothe the cake in her throat.

  ♬

  Lissa crossed the room to go to the kitchen to get the water that she would quench the unbearable thirst that dried her throat when she stopped in the middle of the road at the sound of the melodious and roaringly sensual voice that echoed through the silent house.

  The song was accompanied by a soft guitar rhythm. Usually that wouldn’t be the kind of music she would like, especially to cause in her heart that feeling that was so fleeing: Emotion. Yes, Melissa was uncomfortably excited. And worst of all was knowing who belonged to that moving musicality.

  Fighting against common sense, the girl took a few steps forward and dared to peer at the place where the sound was produced. She found Gabriel sitting on a small sofa, singing with his eyes closed, fingering the guitar strings with enviable mastery. The lyrics were well known as she had always been a fan of Smallville and knew “Everything” rocked many romantic moments of Clark and Lana.

  On another occasion, she would have gone away immediately, reproaching and accusing Gabriel for making noise at that hour, but lately she felt her resistances melting away, as well as her beliefs and thoughts. Something was wrong.

  So, completely against logic, she decided to stay there, watch the splendid performance, for surely no other word would define such a beautiful scene. Surely the "fans" would give everything to witness a moment of that, but only her... The "weird girl", the "crazy", the "cold" or the "Wednesday", as the singer's assistant called her, could do it. And best of all, no one would ever know that she had been there, admiring it, it was her only secret. At least that's what she thought when she smiled and heeded her hearing to hear him better.

  That’s a mistake! As sensing her presence, Gabriel turned his head and looked in hers direction. Lissa thought of pretending to have missed the room, or just running away, but she did not. There was no way to do it as the singer's eyes were fixed on her, staring at her with suffocating intensity as he sang the familiar chorus, as if he wanted to show that the words were for her.

  "And how can I stand here with you

  And it is not moved by you?

  Would you tell me how Could it be any better than this?"[10]

  As if pulled by a magnet, she approached until she was standing right in front of him, his voice caressing her ear, as well as her gaze, unerringly, seeing her soul.

  When the song came to the end, Mel wanted to run, hide, disappear... anything that would keep her from the intensity with which she was being watched, but before she could move, Gabriel reached out and held her upright. At last she slowly reached out her own hand and, with fear, twined her fingers into Gabriel's, making the singer open a glowing, luminous smile.

  “I like this song...” she said. strangely shyly, as he had her sit beside him on the couch.

  “I like you to see me singing...” He replied and stroked the female face.

  “Don’t do it...”

  “What?” He questioned and knew that she would close herself again, looked down at the guitar that was still in his lap and began to strum a new song. “Do not do what, Mel?”

  She caught his gaze on his fingers, the way they made the rope tight, before answering.

  “Look at me like that, call me Mel, sing to me...”

  He laughed. He thought of answering, but all he did was continue the music he had unconsciously begun to play.

  "When you are with me

  I'm free

  I'm careless…”[11]

  Mel closed her eyes and enjoy the melody and lyrics of My Sacrifice, one of her favorite songs. The passion with which Gabriel sang seemed to make the song even more beautiful, leaving the girl dangerously involved.

  “You look beautiful like this... Feeling the music.” He said without caring that she kept her eyes closed.

  Before she could say anything, he started another song, and one pulled another until the singer realized that his audience had fallen asleep with her head against his shoulder. Stopping the music in the middle, he pulled her slowly into his lap and cradled her as he carried her back to the bedroom.

  It was wrong, but he couldn’t move away and leave her alone, so, without much thought about what he was doing, he lay down beside her and let his body relax on the mattress, pulling the small body against his.

  “Good night, Mel!” He whispered before closing his eyes.

  CHAPTER EIGHT – WAKE ME UP

  “So wake me up when it's all over”[12]

  W hen she woke up in the morning, Melissa Bittencourt felt her body heavy, so much so that for an instant she was unable to move. All she could do was face the white ceiling and the crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Being so relaxed and sleepy could only mean one thing: she had slept all night. And the most incredible of all, without any nightmares. The situation was so unusual that the girl felt her lips twitch in a smile. However, before she could process exactly what was happening, she was awakened from the reveries at the sound of heavy breathing at her side.

  To her utter astonishment, Gabriel Voss slept soundly, clinging to the pillow. If the scene wasn’t being one of the most beautiful things the girl had ever seen in her life, she would certainly have screamed. Or maybe she was still numb from the night's sleep, which didn’t happen regularly. She had no other reaction than to turn around carefully and lean on her elbow to observe him better.

  “Hm.” she whispered softly. “His nose is small. His jaw is a bit square, but well aligned. I think he would look good with a beard or goatee.”

  She smiled and conclude that his face was worthy of all the designs she could do, but the laughter died the moment she saw Gabriel awake, looking to her.

  “What about my eyes?” He asked in a low and hoarse voice. "What do you think?"

  Melissa thought her heart would stop beating. Damn it. It was all she needed.

  Clearing her throat and sitting down quickly, the girl crossed her arms and frowned.

  “I think you should get out of here. Now! How dare you sleep here with me?”

  Gabriel's response was a yawn, followed by a long stretch of thin, shapely arms.

  Melissa took a deep breath.

  “I'm getting out, ungrateful girl" He said playfully. "You should thank me for bringing you to bed. I had to stay here because your weight sucked all my strength.”

  “I'm not fat.” And she wasn’t, she was a little below the ideal weight. "You're such a cream puff.”

  Gabriel laughed. If he could wake up next to that grumpy girl and her sour mood every day, he would be extremely happy. The thought robbed him of any trace of humor. Suddenly he realized the madness he was doing. He couldn’t have that kind of desire for Melissa... He could not think of her as his wife. Stunned, the singer tried to get up quickly. He put on his sandals and ran his hand nervously through his hair.

  The sudden change of mood didn’t go unnoticed by Melissa. The girl stared at him intrigued.

  “What's bugging you?” She frowned.

  “Nothing.” He replied dryly, without looking at her. "I'll ask someone to make us some coffee. Get off when you're ready.”

  And like the wind, he got out.

  When the door was closed, Melissa took the pillow he'd fallen asleep, carried it to her nose, and took a deep breath. His perfume had impregnated everything. It was wonderful.

  “What the fuck am I doing?” She asked to the pillow as if it was going to ans
wer it. "I can only be infected by the madness of this crazy singer.”

  With an angry sigh, she threw it against the door. She had to slap her own face to see if she would wake up from that insanity.

  ♫

  Melissa ignored the breakfast. It wasn’t because she wasn’t hungry, but as she descended the stairs and approached the kitchen she could hear the excited voices, the laughter of Gabriel's family, and at the crack of the door, she saw the singer sitting at the table. Completely relaxed, with his little sister perched on his lap. The sight stole her appetite, and inexplicably made her blood boil.

  Unable to understand her own reaction, the girl turned her back on the sight that bothered her and returned to her bedroom. The room also exasperated her, especially as she remembered that she woke up with Gabriel at her side.

  Then picked up her sketchbook and graffiti, wore a heavy coat, and left the house in a rush. She didn’t go far, she just searched and found the hot tub that the rocker had mentioned when they got to that house. In fact, from there she could see the mountains in the background at a different angle than the room she was staying in, and once again she was charmed by what lay before her eyes.

  She wished that instead of paper and graphite, she had screen and ink. She would spend the day trying to get that bluish glow up the mountain, the dark gray of the rocks that appeared here and there... She would love to get her fingers dirty and get lost in the beauty of the natural setting. As she couldn’t do it, she resigned herself and sat on the floor, on the soft snow, with her back to the hot tub and staring at the mountains began to sketch a new design. She was so absorbed in the task at hand that she did not hear the approach of the singer.

  “You did not show up for breakfast...” He said softly, over her shoulders, amazed at what she was drawing.

  After calming the beating heart rate, Melissa looked away from Gabriel's serene face and stared at the unfinished drawing.

  “I wasn’t hungry...” She lied.

  Without waiting to be asked, the Rockstar sat in front of his fan.

  “You are good on it..." He pointed to the drawing. "I've already gotten a lot of drawings from some fans..." he remarked casually. "But I would love to have yours."

  Lissa watched him for a few seconds, as he was sitting right in front of her to make the scenery even more beautiful, now the mountains were in the background and the singer steals the girl's attention. Yes, it would be a nice drawing. An even better screen... In her heart, she decided that when she was alone, she would draw it. Angela would like it. But to him, she just raised her eyebrows and replied.

  “Keep dreaming...”

  Gabriel ignored another splinter of her and stood up.

  “My family is leaving in a few hours... They would like to say goodbye.”

  Melissa giggled.

  “I bet your sister can hardly wait to say goodbye.”

  The Rockstar took a deep breath.

  “She will be kind.” He assured her, though he didn’t know if it was true. “All I ask is that you are too.”

  “Kindness is my surname...” She replied turning her attention to the drawing, slightly grateful to realize that the singer was moving away.

  “Mel...” He spoke loudly, a few steps away. “We'll leave too... Tomorrow morning, to Texas. Arthur managed to reschedule the show.”

  She wanted to quarrel with him for calling her "Mel" even though she hated it, but she threw herself into the fluffy snow and brought her hands to her face. How would she hide the marks on her wrists in Texas?

  ♫

  Gabriel Voss couldn’t take his eyes off his guest of honor as the jet they were taxiing down the runway. Finally, the tour would begin... The first show, that had been postponed thanks the incident that resulted in his broken nose, would occur in a few days and although the singer was grateful to have managed to reschedule the show without major negative repercussions, everything he could think at the moment was that Melissa Bittencourt was strange, even stranger than normal.

  The flight to Dallas, Texas, was done in silence and as soon as the plane reached cruising altitude and the seat belt warning was withdrawn, the girl got up and, without looking to the singer at her side, settled in a distant armchair, alone, from where she kept her gaze fixed on the trembling fingers of her hands.

  The Rockstar wanted to ask her what the problem, but she had made it clear, without any subtlety, she wanted to be alone.

  Maybe she was finally thinking about the faint kisses they had exchanged during Christmas... The possibility made Gabriel angry with himself. He'd never been involved like that with a fan, and when he'd let his guard down, had she got to be such a complicated girl?

  When the plane finally stopped and the door was opened, the singer was determined to leave the aircraft behind without worrying about Melissa, but when he realized that she still sitting in her chair, anxiously pulling the sleeve of her blouse almost to the point to tear the fabric, he sighed and instead of walking to the exit as Arthur asked him, he headed for the jet funds and stopped next to Melissa.

  “We arrived...” He said low because he didn’t want to frighten her.

  “Yes...” She answered and looked out the window at the airport lane.

  With a deep sigh, the girl got up, picked up a dark sunglass from her backpack, and followed Gabriel out of the plane.

  As soon as the strong sun hit them, she cursed softly as she watched Voss get rid of the jacket he wore.

  The warm breath that enveloped her made her want to do the same and push away the fabric that was beginning to cling to her arms, but though she had taken care of wearing thick leather wristlets under her sleeve, she was terrified of the possibility of someone sew the marks she carried on her wrists.

  “Wow!” Gabriel exclaimed, bringing one hand up to his eyes, covering them as if he could push the sun away. “I had forgotten how hot and humid it is here.”

  “Too hot...” Melissa agreed, wiping sweat from her forehead with her sleeve.

  Gabriel smiled at her, in that silly way she'd always thought it was fake, but now she knew it was just the way he tried to make someone comfortable.

  “I should have warned you... so you could have put on some cooler clothes. But soon we got to the hotel...” He helped her into the car that awaited them on the runway. Luckily, they didn’t have to go through the crowd of fans and photographers waiting for them in the airport lounge.

  “Are you nervous?” Gabriel questioned, after settling down beside Lissa and watching her sigh with relief as she was surrounded by the coolness of the air conditioner.

  “Not at all...” She answered without looking at him and she was busy checking some messages on the phone. “Oh shit!”

  “What's it?” The singer questioned, eager to continue talking to her.

  "It's..." She started strangely ashamed. "My best friend... She's charging me something I promised.”

  For the first time, Gabriel realized that Melissa had a simple pink tone on her cheeks when she was ashamed. Found the picture lovely.

  “And what did you promise?"

  “Photos... Reports... A complete dossier about you.” She answered immediately, making Arthur, who was sitting in the front seat facing.

  Before the reprehensible look, the girl tried to explain herself.

  “She's just curious... You know, she's just a fan... Like me, and...”

  Gabriel burst out laughing, unable to disguise his amusement at the sight of the girl beside him, embarrassed.

  Melissa fell silent and looked at him in a way that would certainly cut his throat, if looks were capable of it.

  Clearing his throat to make the laughter die, he put an arm around the girl's shoulders, making her cringe.

  “Come on... Our first photo”. He pointed his cell phone to their faces. "Give me a smile, Mel.”

  She tried, but all she could do was pull a lip, clearly forcing to smile

  “Tell your friend to check my Instagram...” He said, busy
with the mobile phone keys. “And I should have said it before, but you can feel free to post about the tour, the backstage... Anything you want...”

  “I would not say it all," Arthur interrupted. “It would be good to keep some personal things away from social media.”

  Gabriel shrugged, but Melissa stared at the assistant wondering if he knew what was going on between her and the singer.

  “Obviously, there are things I wouldn’t talk to anyone about." She felt obliged to clarify. “And anyway, it's not like I kept a fan thirsty for new publications. I hardly update my Facebook profile. But if it's not a problem, I know someone who would like to post about the tour...”

  “Angela.” Gabriel said, sure that he was right and vaguely curious about that friendship. “Feel free to take some pictures for her.”

  “Oh really?” Lissa turned to the singer with a bright smile. “Don’t you really care?”

  Even if he cared, he would have given in to that smile.

  “We can even record an exclusive video... What do you think?”

  “Oh, my gosh! She will love it... Thank you!” On impulse, she leaned toward the singer and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you!”

  Gabriel Voss would do anything she wanted, if he had new breakouts like that just for himself.

  With a smile on her face, Melissa removed her sunglasses and locked her eyes bright on Gabriel, before pointing her own camera at the singer.

  “Say hi...”

  “Hi Angela!” Voss got excited. He liked to see Mel happy and at that moment, with a simple and improvised video, was making the girl beaming. “You have a great friend... Maybe one day we might meet, maybe on a show. We all together in backstage... It's going to be awesome! He finished the video with a warm nod and a big smile. But he was immediately worried, seeing Melissa put the video in replay and watching with teary eyes.

  "Mel, what is it?"

  She didn’t answer, just took a deep breath and swallowed the tears that never fell.

  “If you do not like it we can record another...”