"If I didn’t hear you, I would have been helping her get through that mess at the airport."
"I'm very comforted to know that you haven’t been completely deaf yet." The assistant scoffed.
"There's no one around, Arth”. The singer leaned his head back against the chair. “Relax”.
"Look around, Gabriel. There are many people around”.
"Only our team, Arthur. If we cannot trust them, we should hire other people”.
"All right..." Arthur raised his hands in surrender. "But let's keep this little secret between our people. In public...”
“Discretion. I know”. Gabriel finished, tired of the subject.
Arthur still looked at the young couple a little more. It could still end badly, but he couldn’t deny that they were a nice couple, when Melissa wasn’t awake, distributing poison everywhere.
Who knows, maybe Gabriel would make good to her. He was hoping so.
♫
Lissa ignored Arthur's presence as the aide scoured the new hotel room they had entered, and without matter of everything, she threw the big bed without took off her shoes, closed her eyes, wishing she could get some sleep. Damn painkillers that made her so sleepy. That was one of the reasons she avoided them to the utmost. She always wanted to be alert, ready to defend herself if necessary.
"Melissa, can you hear me?" Arthur stopped beside the bed and folded his arms.
The girl looked at him.
"Unfortunately, yes, Nanny.” She replied with a wry smile as she watched Gabriel approach and slowly remove his shoes before joining her on the bed. She was getting too carried away, but she couldn’t help but like the closeness she had with the singer. "You will not stop talking. I'm thinking of giving you a gift: a gag ... When's your birthday?
Gabriel choked out a laugh, not wanting to annoy his best friend.
"We hear, Arth.” Gabriel started to talk in a soothing tone. "We'll have a dinner with the team today, and tomorrow the day will be full" He recited some of the things they had heard in the last minutes. "Let's not be late.”
"Of course you will not be late”. Arthur decreed. "Because you go to your own room, rest, and prepare for the heavy routine of concerts that will begin tomorrow."
The singer managed to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He wanted to stay where he was, next to Melissa, especially since the girl was still a little strange, especially considering that she was all kind to him. In that day, Mel doesn’t send him away or let out one of her biting replies, on the contrary she had gladly accepted his presence and even snuggled in his arms at every opportunity she had. If he didn’t know her well enough to know that the calm would end at some point, he would suggest that the two of them share the same room. It would be more practical than having to sneak back to her room after dinner, and after all, he was determined to spend another night nearby her, just in case she needed him.
"Maybe we should really give him a gag ..." The singer whispered to Melissa, but he stood up again, ready to follow his best friend. "You can enjoy being alone and calling Angela..." He watched as Lissa covered her head with a pillow. She had run away from that connection as much as she could, and that was definitely one of the things that worried him. There was something she was hiding from him, and apparently, she also wanted to hide from her friend. "She may send the CIA to follow you if you don’t send news to her. I have already lost count of how many messages I received from her.”
Mel didn’t answer, so the rocker pulled away the pillow that hid the female face and slid a finger lightly through her lips with a dark lipstick.
Lissa wanted to get away from the affection, just as she wanted to push him closer and ignore Arthur's presence. She didn’t do one thing or another. She just stood there, feeling his touch, before she sighed.
"Okay," she agreed. “I'll call”.
The rock star smiled and leaned over, placing a light kiss on the lips that was stroking.
“Good girl!” He teased, rubbing her head.
Melissa practically growled and pushed him away, pulling the pillow over his chest as Gabriel laughed at the female attack.
"Don’t talk to me like that!" She demanded irritably.
He shook his head in agreement.
"Any more forbidden words?" He tried to play with the situation, but deep down he felt himself standing in front of a minefield, ready to explode if he took a false step. "Maybe you should make a list... I promise I will decorate and abolish the offensive words in my vocabulary."
"Oh, fuck you, Gabriel!" She answered, but she softened her tone before angry to more friendly tone. “Just stop being an idiot”.
He picked up the bag she had left on the floor and unceremoniously opened it and rummaged until he found the girl's cell phone.
“Fuck you! Besides being an idiot, you're really abused ... Has not anyone ever told you to not mess other people's things?”
Ignoring what she was saying, the singer pick up the phone.
"You have a very dirty mouth ..." He stared at her for a moment. "Lucky for you, I do not care. With a wink that Melissa found particularly pathetic, he turned his back on her and left the room with Arthur, who had been observing their exchange all the time.
"Asshole!” She whispered to herself. He was a very irritating, but she wanted him, more and more, around.
Knowing Gabriel was right about Angela, Lissa stared at her cell phone and took a deep breath before dialing the familiar combination of numbers. She did not want to, but at some point she would have to face her friend. The problem was that Ang would know, as soon as she heard Lissa’s voice, what had happened.
Dialing the only combination of numbers she knew of, Lissa tried to get Gabriel out of her head.
She knew it was insanity to become so close to him, to let herself be so involved as she was. The problem is that having experienced the singer's affection and support, she couldn’t imagine herself going through her bad days without the support he offered.
It was incredible, and absurdly frightening. The way Voss could ward off the panic that constantly overpowered her. In an inexplicable way, she felt protected and at peace when she was in his arms. It was only an illusion, she knew well that if the uncle who once she loved so much wanted to hurt her once more, Gabriel couldn’t help it. And perhaps he did not want to, because after all he was a public person, a famous rock star… why would he get involved in the problems of a false fan? Problems he didn’t even suspect of proportion.
In the face of all this, it would be best to get away from him as much as possible without spoiling the farce, but Melissa must have been a selfish girl as her mother always spoke. After all, he had left the room less than a minute ago and she already missed him, and the lack of peace he represented.
Trying to digest the bad feeling forming in her throat, the girl waited for the call to be answered by her best friend. She was dying for Angela, and she wanted to know how her friend was, but she didn’t want to talk about the New Year and all that had happened afterwards.
"Ang..." she called after taking a deep breath as she heard the familiar voice answer the call. “I have so many backstage details to tell, I'm sure you're going to go crazy when...”
“Melissa?” Angela interrupted her. “Thanks God! I was so worried...”
Of course she was, that's what Lissa did in people. Those who still insisted on having her as a friend were constantly worried or pitiful, perhaps a mixture of the two. And the others, they judged her and pointed the finger. Some even said in her face that it was all her fault.
Ang's always sweet voice took on a reprehensible tone as she continued:
"Do not even think about trying to curl up. You can start telling me what happened."
Mel thought of misplacing and even lying cheekily. It was her intention to try and curl her friend as much as she could. But there, lying in a hotel bed, in a strange country, so far from the only person capable of understanding her in the world, she couldn’t think of anything t
o say. When she realized she was already crying.
It was damn to be so sensible. She had to be strong and not let herself be shaken. It was what she had done in recent years, but since she embarks on the tour, she couldn’t find enough strength. Maybe she was succumbing at once, and that frightened her as much as the possibility of another birthday with her uncle. She didn’t want to give up, but she didn’t know how to fight anymore.
"He called me..." She managed to say, sobbing. “In the new year. He said he was disappointed that I wasn’t home ... That he was waiting for us to celebrate my birthday, as always.”
“Lissa...” Angela said the name with regret. She wanted to be next to the friend and to embrace it. It was so rare for her friend to show herself so fragile that sometimes she let herself be deceived that everything was all right. "He can’t hurt you now. You're so far from home. You should have left here a long time. I know you just stayed here for me and... I love you, I miss you, but I wish you would never come back, especially at this time of year.”
"Foolish" Melissa ran a hand over her face in an abrupt movement, trying to stave off tears. "Fleeing is not going to erase what happened."
"But perhaps it will prevent it from happening again.”
"You're only fooling yourself, Ang”. Lissa answered irritably with herself for not being able to stop the crying. "And fantasizing about a pink world that doesn’t exist only make us more susceptible to shit like that. I realized, in the way he said it, that no matter where I am, he'll find me if he wants to... What's the point of running away and deceiving myself? This cycle... Vicious and liar... We can pretend all year that's over, that was the last time, that everything is fine, but January arrives and everything starts over”.
Melissa paused for a second, feeling her heart racing, her hands trembling and sweating, the tightness in her chest... One more panic attack on the way. The third or fourth in less than a week. She had even lost count.
"I'm so tired," she said at last, allowing herself to verbalize what he really felt. The revolt and the desire to change her story had passed, all that had remained was the pain, the tiredness and the will to end it all. “I changed Ang... I changed my hair, my clothes, my personality and desires... I changed everything I could until I became another person, somehow I killed the little girl he loved and he wanted for himself, and yet he keep coming back, he will continue to do. And I'm so, so tired... I just wanted it to end.”
"No, Lissa.” Angela's voice was choked, a clear sign that she was crying. She felt so powerless that she couldn’t do anything to change the way her friend felt. And she was also scared, afraid that the ghosts within Melissa would win. “You're giving up...”
Maybe she was, Melissa mused, but it was too hard to keep fighting.
"You did it again ..." Angela continued when her friend remained silent. "You don’t even have to try to deny it because I know you do. And this time it was even worse than all the other times, so you didn’t call me... Do you know where this is going to take you? One day you will not be able to stop and.." Lissa buried her face against the mattress, she knew that Ang was, in a way, right. “I know it's difficult, but you have to be strong... Maybe to seek help and...”
"I've had enough help…" Melissa couldn’t dismiss a flashback.
"I'm talking about real help, Lissa”. Angela answered, her voice ringing loudly, as she always did when she was nervous. "And not that shit clinic your mother sent you." With a sigh, the girl tried to calm down. Screaming wouldn’t help. "There are good professionals out there who will not fill you up with drugs to the point of letting you down, or who will try to convince you that nothing happened. There's got to be somebody out there, able to help you get over what happened.”
At her friend's speaking, Lissa thought of Gabriel Voss and the way his presence soothed her, as the singer's touches and kisses could make him forget everything. Maybe he was the person Angela was talking about, but Melissa wished she had not. After all, it wouldn’t be fair with him. The singer deserved more than being the supporting beam of someone so damaged that it was doomed to collapse constantly.
He was incredible, kind and loving, and she would only drag him into the mud that surrounded her. And to think of sucking Gabriel's characteristic joy to turn him into someone constantly alert and worried was as distressing as thinking about actually giving up on himself. It was selfish, but not so much to the point of destroying Gabriel to maintain a survival that no longer seemed to make sense.
Strangely, she felt a small smile appear on her face, still bathed in tears. It was shit, but she had just understood why the singer was capable of causing all this whirlwind of feelings.
"Maybe I've already found this person ..." She confessed to her friend in a defeated tone. "But I can’t and I will not lean on him. Is not fair.
“Who are you talking about?” Angela whispered. Deep down she knew the answer, she just didn’t want to believe it.
“It's crazy, but I just realized that I'm in love... For Gabriel.”
It was crazy, Ang agreed in thought, but although it was difficult, maybe if the singer felt the same, there was still a chance of recovery for her best friend. It would be the last thing she would do in her life, but she would make sure Gabriel would help Melissa without the girl destroying him on the way.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO - ALL OF ME
“Cards on the table,
we're both showing hearts...”[30]
T he sound of the cell phone ringing made Gabriel Voss grumble and cover his head with the heavy comforter he used to keep himself warm.
He would have ignored the insistent touch if he hadn’t felt Melissa stirring beside him while cursing softly. If he didn’t stop the noise, she would wake up in a few seconds, and the girl's moodiness was even worse when she was awakened abruptly. It was incredible how much he'd learned about Mel in the last two weeks. She had some annoying, some lovely moods... And despite her unpredictable mood swings, she had been able to hook her heart.
With his eyes closed, the singer felt the bedside table until he found the device. He closed the call at the exact moment Melissa snorted and covered her head with the pillow.
Still with the device in hand, he moved to embrace her. It was torture to sleep beside her, but it had become addictive.
They hadn’t gone past by faint kisses and desperate hugs that were immediately cut off when the singer passed some invisible red light. Invariably he was aroused by feeling her so close to him, but he would never press her to go beyond kissing. Eventually it would happen when she was ready.
“Go back to sleep, babe”. He swayed her slightly as he pushed the pillow over her doll's face.
She didn’t respond, which in a way was a good thing. If she had been irritated, she would have gotten away from the touch she was receiving and possibly cursing him.
He knew she didn’t like the warmth of his calling, but he couldn’t help it. He was a loving person by nature, and this characteristic was accentuated when he was by her side. He knew just a little thing about her, but something about the way she looked at him when she was off guard showed that she craved the show of affection he poured over her. She would complain again and again, but as long as she didn’t call her as "princess" nothing too drastic would happen.
“Gabriel!” She said the name in a hoarse voice of sleep, sounding irritated when the singer's cell phone rang again. “Turn off that shit”.
He laid a kiss on Mel's cheek and released her.
Thinking of turning off the device that had interrupted his night's sleep, Voss glanced at the screen that lit the dark room.
Angela's name was in bold letters. Concerned about the possibility that something had happened, the singer left the bed and accepted the call.
He cringed by the cold air that dominated Melissa's room. He didn’t need to look to know that some window hadn’t been closed. One of Mel's crazies: perching in some window, feeling the cold wind reach her face until her cheeks turn red.
He didn’t know the reason for the call and he didn’t want to get Melissa's attention. He knew she would be worry.
“Gabe!” Angela's excited voice reached her ears just as the rocker found the window open and closed it. “Good Morning!”
“Good evening!” He growled, not very upbeat. He had talked a lot to the person on the other end of the line for the past few days, and he liked to think of her as a friend, but he wasn’t happy about the seemingly unnecessary call in the middle of the night.
“Oh! It isn’t morning there?” She asked with a slight embarrassed tone. "I was so excited I didn’t remember the time zone.”
"And what happened to be so excited?" Gabriel walked to the bathroom and closed the door so that his voice did not disturb Melissa's sleep, leaned back against the marble counter and stared at his image in the large mirror. It had dark circles under the eyes for the tour. Only two weeks had already passed through Germany, France, Belgium and finally, United Kingdom.
“It's a beautiful day!” The girl exclaimed, excited again.
He laughed lightly.
"I'm in London, Angela. No one day here is, really, beautiful. Especially in winter.”
"Oh, do not be such a complainer. I bet Lissa is loving it.”
Gabriel could not deny that Melissa was really pleased with the European winter. It was no secret that she liked the cold and the low temperatures, allied the European landscapes had fascinated the girl, the proof was in the sketchbook full of fascinating new designs.
"Yeah... she really liked it.”
“Of course yes.” Ang agreed with a shriek. “And that's great. If it's snowing, it will be even better. The perfect day for her.”
"You woke me up to talk about the weather?"
"Of course not, you fool ..."
"So you went to hear my sexy voice?" He joked. He liked to make Angela slightly embarrassed, it was fun.
She laughed.
“I called to tell you what day it is...”
"So..." He yawned. "The last time I checked it was the last day before a well-deserved break.”
Broken Angel (English Edition) Page 25