"Because she hates me..." Lissa answered, her voice breaking with tears and anger. "She hates me because you said you love me. You can deny all you want, Gabriel, but what she feels for you is nothing brotherly and apparently she will do everything she can to get me out of the way.”
Leaving aside any fear, the singer overcame the distance to Melissa and pulled her towards him.
"Nothing ..." He began, his heart thundering in his chest. "No one will get you out of my life."
"Now everyone knows ..." She let her head fall against his chest. "The whole world knows I'm a fucking freak”
"The world knows nothing about you or your pain ..." He whispered to her, hating to hear the shame and the distress in her broken voice. "You're not a freak. It doesn’t matter what they say.”
"We need to think about how to stifle this..." Arthur said after a while, when Melissa's crying had once again subsided. “Perhaps a rehab…” He suggested, making Melissa shudder.
"Not now, Arthur.” Gabriel interrupted. He had no head to try to stifle anything at that moment. And he wasn’t worried about the repercussion that it might have. He just wanted to make sure your girl would be all right. "Come relax with me..." He spoke to Melissa, pulling her out of bed. “We need it”.
"I'm not in the mood..." Lissa said quietly as Gabriel locked them in the bathroom, filled the tub, and gently began to remove the dress her girlfriend wore.
He smiled at her.
"You're going to use this against me at some point..." He said taking care of her own clothes. "But I'm not in the mood either.”
Once inside the bathtub, Melissa leaned back against Gabriel's wide chest and closed her eyes as he hugged her, trying not to think what it would be like when he had to face the people outside that hotel room.
"I don’t know what I did wrong," He said softly, almost like a confession. "I can’t stop thinking about it, and yet I don’t know what I did wrong. If you're right about Karen ... She's my little sister. For me, she was always just my little sister”.
Melissa understood well what he was talking about, the feeling that at some point he had done something to encourage a feeling that should never have existed.
She wished she could say something that would comfort him, something that made him not feel guilty about Karen's actions. But he had chosen the wrong person to vent.
“It's been five years and I haven’t figured out what I did of wrong...” She said, trying to shake the awful feeling of oppression inside. "I could tell you that you didn’t do anything wrong, that it's not your fault... And, well, it's not really your fault. But that does not change anything. No matter what I say, you will keep trying to find out what you did of wrong.”
"Is that how you feel?" Gabriel let his head fall against her shoulder and breathed in the good smell of his girl. "Because I may not know anything about how Karen got to the point where she came, but I know there's nothing you could have done to justify what happened.”
Melissa wanted to believe what he was saying, just as she wanted to be as strong as him and support him, after all, she knew that being forced to see that he was wrong about his sister had to be too painful. But it is as she had said: there was nothing they could say to change how they felt.
“What do we do?” She demanded, forcing her brain to work for some solution instead of just giving in to despair.
"In this moment, I'm quite tempted to stay here until the world forgets we exist."
“You are Gabriel Voss, the world famous rockstar. They won’t forget that you exist, even if you remain here, in this bathtub, until your skin wrinkles and begins to disintegrate”. Looking at him over her shoulder, she wanted to cry again, but she swallowed the tears. She was tired of feeling so frail. "But you and the world can forget that I exist. Let's end this scam and... Just let me go home.”
"And where is your home, Mel?" Gabe asked, looking at her intently. “Seattle? Where do you don’t feel safe? With a family that doesn’t care, doesn’t support you, doesn’t believe you? It seems like a horrible place to go back.”
"And where would my home be? Sarasota? Where would I live hiding, melting into unnecessary coats? With your family and fans judging me?” She shrugged, hurt by the truth in the words he had used and the ones she had chosen to answer him. "I don’t have a place to call home, Gabriel.”
"It's not all black or white, Mel. Seattle or Sarasota. The world is big, and any place can be yours, our home. Because it doesn’t matter the city, but what wait for us there.”
"There's nothing waiting for me," Lissa acknowledged in defeat. She could have said she had Angela, but if she was allowing herself to be honest, she had to accept that her best friend wouldn’t be waiting for her forever. “Somewhere”.
Gabriel's response was to get hold of her thin waist and turn her so they were face to face, then took one of her hands to his chest.
Mel could feel the musician's heart pounding against her palm. She understood what he meant by that gesture and wished it to be true.
"How long will you wait for me?" She asked, afraid, and stared at him.
“Forever!” He assured her, and looking into his eyes, she could find nothing to make her doubt what she heard.
♫
It wasn’t really surprising when, late in that afternoon, Gabriel had to open his suite door so that Esther Voss would enter the room as if ready to rescue him from a deadly fire, after all, he was in Miami, close enough to home for his mother to appear when she imagined that her eldest son needed support
But it was surprising to see the matriarch cross the room, after greeting the eldest son quickly, and hugging Melissa with affection and whispering something in her ear. Apparently, she had crossed the state to rescue the son’s girlfriend and not the son.
Gabriel would have smiled at the scene if her mother hadn’t arrived accompanied by the only person he wished he didn’t have to find at the time.
“What are you doing here?” He questioned Karen, who was visibly startled by her brother's unfriendly reception. He was quite inclined to not let her in.
"Gabriel, let's settle this with some privacy.” Esther spoke loudly enough for her children to hear. "Let your sister in."
"Don’t do anything you can regret later." Arthur left his place at the table the three of them occupied before being knocked over by the door and stood beside Melissa.
"I will not regret smashing this traitor." Lissa countered, crossing her arms to stop herself from advancing on Karen. She had left the tears aside, leaving only the anger.
"I owed you no loyalty, I didn’t betray you, suicidal girl.” Karen walked into the room with her head held high.
"Apparently, you have loyalty to no one." Gabriel countered, feeling his own anger come to the surface as he heard his sister. She hadn’t even bothered to deny it.
“Gabe...” Karen tried to start a justification, only to be interrupted by her mother.
“It’s enough, Karen.” Esther pointed her finger at her daughter. "You came here with only one purpose: to apologize; and it's good that you do it right.”
Crossing her arms defensively, Karen searched for Gabriel's gaze.
“Gabe, I...”
"It's not for me you have to apologize for”. He cut her off. "And, frankly, I don’t think your excuses are good for anything at the moment."
“It's all right. Melissa...”
"Don’t you even bother.” Lissa couldn’t bear the thought of having to listen to Karen's false apologies. It was hard enough to hold back and not move on the blonde without her having to listen to her as a saint. She would squeeze Karen before anyone could hold her.
"Melissa, I know this is a difficult time.” Esther tried to intercede. "But keeping animosity will not improve the situation. We can help”.
“Karen helped a lot, photographing us hidden and the leaking the photo to the press.”
"What she did was terrible. I'm not trying to make you forget it, but honey, you need help”.
/>
"I suggested a time in rehab…" Arthur began cautiously. "Neither of them agreed”.
“Traitor!” Melissa whispered, stepping away from the manager and Esther. She didn’t want to hear about what she needed or not, especially if it included a stay in a clinic.
"Mom, a hospitalization is out of the question.” Gabriel put his arm around his girlfriend's shoulder.
"I wasn’t going to suggest that." The matriarch defended herself. “Specialized monitoring only”.
"No..." Lissa said quietly, looking at Gabriel. “Not now”.
“Sincerely?” The singer decided to leave that conversation for later. He knew his mother was right, but he also knew that it would take a lot of waist play to persuade Melissa to seek help. "I think we have other problems to solve before focusing on what Mel has or has not do. Like Karen's justification for what she did”.
“I was just trying to protect you...” His youngest sister tried to use her best sweet tone, the same that always made Gabriel want to protect her from the world.
“Exposing me? It didn’t work that time. What are you going to do next? Tell everyone that Melissa and I are dating? Or maybe you decide to talk about Hanna?”
"She wouldn’t do that," Esther said in alarm. "We all know how painful this is for you. We didn’t do anything to keep this episode private so your sister can reveal it.”
"You know me so well, Gabriel”. Karen spoke again. "You can’t even believe that I would betray you like this”.
"I thought I knew you," He replied with regret. “I don’t know it anymore”.
"I never wanted to hurt you ..." The blonde continued, her voice choking, as she tried to touch her brother and watch him walk away.
"I want to know why, Karen”. The singer demanded. "The truth, no more lies and pretense. Why you did it?”
"Because I love you..." she replied in a whisper.
At any other time, Gabriel wouldn’t have understood the statement as nothing more than a special bond between brothers who did well and were united, but looking at her, seeing the way she had said that phrase, he was forced to accept that she wasn’t talking about brotherly love.
"I'm your brother," He said regretfully. "I'm your brother, damn it!".
"But I wish you don’t." Karen replied in the same tone, making her mother put a hand in her own breast. "I don’t see you as a brother. I've never seen. I want you, as Hanna had, as all the others have had... I want you to love me like you say you love the weirdo there.”
Esther would have collapsed in front of then if Arthur hadn’t covered her.
Melissa didn’t know where she had drawn strength or disposition, but she stood between the two brothers when Gabriel tried to approach Karen. The expression on his face was nothing like what she was accustomed to seeing. She knew he was upset.
“No!” She spoke to him, her hands on his chest. "You'll regret it later."
"You've gone crazy..." Gabriel said to his sister. "You’re a spoiled, inconsequential little girl. You can’t see the insanity of you are speaking.”
"I'm not a little girl.” Although she was crying, Karen kept her face upright. "I'm a woman, Gabriel, and that's how I want you to see me.
"I don’t recognize you." Gabriel felt his own tears come to the surface. "Maybe I've never really met you. I love you, my sister, like a brother must love. But I don’t know if I want to see you again. There doesn’t seem to be any possibility of we are living together anymore. Not if you're going to continue with this madness.”
"Karen..." Esther approached her children, still in shock at what she had heard and she wish to put them on her lap, hating to see them cry. "You don’t know what you're saying, my daughter.”
"I'm sorry, Mom”. The youngest replied, unable to hide how much what Gabriel had said had hurt her. "But that's the truth. I can’t change what I feel.”
"Gabriel ..." Lissa walked out of the way when his mother called for her son and let them hug each other after Karen ran out of the room. “Where were we wrong with our little girl, son?”
Moving away to give mother and son some privacy, Melissa went back to the table and picked up her cigarette pack. She lit one and took the first drag, before dragging Arthur to the balcony. She hated Karen, but she knew that regardless of anything, Gabriel and Esther were suffering and since she couldn’t help, she would avoid disturbing.
“I'm sorry!” She told the manager after a while. “I know you like her. That's what everyone says…” She clarified after seeing him giving her a confused look.
"Not as everyone thinks," he replied, letting his shoulders fall. "At least not anymore."
It was Melissa's turn to look at him blankly.
"I mean, for a while I thought I liked her..." He explained, staring out at the sea across the street. "But I was concentrating my affection on the wrong sister.”
“Mariana, eh?” Lissa giggled, referring to the Gabriel's other sister. “You should tell her”.
"Maybe someday..." Arthur reached into his jeans pockets. "Now about you: I really think you should seek help.”
Lissa doused her cigarette on the parapet and sighed.
“You don’t know what can happen inside a clinic...”
“And you know?”
She responded with a positive nod.
"When you insist on telling them something they want to hide, a psychiatric clinic and a corrupt doctor are great ways to keep your mouth shut.”
Arthur was silent for a while, processing what he had heard. He wanted to know more and afraid to ask.
“Gabriel needed help when Hanna died... We all need it.” He said finally, choosing to leave his curiosity aside. "Esther has indicated a friend, a colleague by profession, who accompanies him until today… I have also visited on occasion. No hospitalization was required. It worked for us... It might work for you too.”
"I'm not ready for this." Melissa confessed. Maybe she never will be.
“When you are ready, just tell me”. Arthur squeezed a female shoulder. "I can be your friend, Mel. I want to help.
"I'm not a good friend”.
“I disagree.” The manager laughed to try to clear the air. "Only good friends can be as annoying as you."
♫
Mel didn’t attend the show that night and she didn’t even leave the hotel, which Gabriel considered both good and bad at the same time. It was good because he knew she needed rest and the madness behind the scenes of a big tour would only make her even more nervous and bad because he spent every second of the hours he was away, worried about her, without know how she was or needing anything.
Probably he did a fucking bad show, although he has struggled to pretend that all was well, but his head was not on stage or in the setlist he singing and when it came time to those already anticipated covers that made especially for her, just looking for her corner as he always did and didn’t find her watching him closely, only made the desire for the show to end soon.
Maybe that's why he sighed with relief when he finally got back to the hotel, and the sigh repeated himself as he found her on the bed, quiet and with closed eyes. Apparently, she slept, which brought a generous dose of contentment to the singer.
Carefully and trying to don’t make too much noise, he walked around the room leaving her wallet and cell phone on the table, and since he had already showered in his dressing room, he removed the clothes he wore and joined her in bed.
With affection, he placed a light kiss on the forehead of his girlfriend.
"Gabriel..." Melissa whispered still with closed eyes as she felt the singer's lips touch her forehead in a soft caress.
“Get back to sleep, babe” He spoke softly “I'm just checking to see if everything is fine.”
"I wasn’t sleeping," she said, sitting up in bed. "Not really”.
"I was happy when I went back to the bedroom and I saw you with your eyes closed. I wished that insomnia had passed.”
“It is not that simple. My head is boiling
... I couldn’t get to sleep even if I wanted. Just closed my eyes to think.”
“That look on your face just… gang up on me”. The singer sighed. He couldn’t bear the swollen eyes of his girlfriend, nor the marks of the many tears she shed, still shining in pale skin.
“Hey” Melissa grabbed her hand and kissed the singer “It's not your fault. You were a victim of the circumstances as I was”.
“I still feel like I have failed you. It's horrible to know that not protected from cruelty rolling in my world. I'll handle that site. I'm going to break up every one of those motherfuckers!”
“You're so sexy when you're angry.” The girl tried to joke, but Gabriel continued seriously.
“It will never happen again.” He promised, even though he wasn’t sure he could keep the promise “No one will ever hurt you”.
The girl nodded, unable to speak anything without falling into tears, just pulled Gabriel to her on the bed and curled up in her boyfriend's arms.
“Try to get some sleep”. He asked, playing with a lock of black hair. If they hadn’t to follow to another city as the day dawned, he should try to convince her to take medicine to get to sleep. “I'll sing for you. Close your eyes.”
That was one of the favorite moments of Melissa routine when she could have the powerful voice and at the same Gabriel mild weather just for her. It was as if he was just hers and nobody else.
The singer began to sing a cover that translated exactly the moment they were experiencing.
"You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand..."[47]
“You always have some meaningful song to sing, is not it?” Lissa said when he finished the song, ending the illusion of her boyfriend who thought she had fallen asleep.
“One of the advantages of being a musician...” He replied with a smile “You need to sleep, babe.”
“You too...” Melissa shrugged. They needed sleep, but they wouldn’t get that night. “You and Arthur managed to decide what to do? I was thinking ... Maybe you want me to say or do anything...”
“And would you feel comfortable talking about it?”
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