The grimace on her face was all the answer needed Gabriel.
“Since Arthur stop talking about rehab... I pledge to do whatever you need to make things better for you.”
Gabriel couldn’t help a smile. She was difficult, of tough, but she had a huge heart. If it were not so, she would not suggest doing something that invariably hurt her just to make things easier for your team.
“You're wonderful, you know? “
“Gabriel...” She rolled her eyes. “Stop it!”
“What?” He kissed her lightly. “It is true. You are wonderful and the proof is that just suggested ... But we don’t need you to do anything. I'm just thinking of approaching the subject in a post on my Instagram. I believe that the more casual and quietly treat it, the better. I mean, it would be ridiculous to issue a formal notice or give an interview or treat it as something that needs to be excused the world. It is personal and if I didn’t think to pretend it didn’t happen only increase the public interest, I rather even talk about it.”
“I will not lie...” Melissa said after thinking about what he had said. “Also, I prefer that we pretended that it is still a secret, but if we have to talk about it... I think it's even better to be as you are thinking of doing and, well, it's looks like you.”
“Looks like me?”
“Yes... The whole thing social networking and everything. You love it.”
“And you hate.” The singer laughed the mocking tone in which she talked about his interaction online. “You better get used to it because when we stop hiding that we're together, I'll post a lot about you.
“Will you not be ashamed?”
"To show the world how happy I am to be with you?” He rolled his eyes theatrically. “Only if I were an idiot.”
Laughing, Melissa pulled him close, kissing the lips that spent much of the night wanting to prove.
“I missed you tonight...” She spoke smiling shyly. “But you will not be convinced with it.”
“We can be together now...” He suggested with an arched eyebrow and a smile.
“No...” She pushed him away when he tried to deepen the kiss. “I’m not in the mood. And besides, if you will post something on Instagram, you'll need a new picture... It will be better get a new one.”
“And you will not even complain?” He frowned, knowing she hated being photographed.
“Better a photo that I can approve of what a leaked...” She shrugged, forcing an indifference that neither felt.
“We will provide a picture...” Gabe nodded. “But first, I need to feel you. I just want to make sure you are even here.”
Melissa let himself be embraced, feeling his body weighing a little over hers, enjoying the way his fingers slid through her hair and the smell of male perfume inebriated.
“Gabe?” She called softly, after ten minutes when a yawn came without warning. “I think this is a good time to sing again.”
He laughed softly, but he did as she asked and he felt his heart rejoice and calm to realize that, after the third song, she had finally fallen asleep.
Apparently, the picture would be for the next day, but it did not matter. Nothing else mattered when she was in his arms.
♫
“He jests at scars that never felt a wound”, William Shakespeare said.
In a cruel and inhuman act, they tried to embarrass Melissa Bittencourt, my fan, my guest ... One person!
But it did not work, because although it looks fragile, she is strong.
The blows only help her to stand up, to heal herself.
And you who suffer from the same problem need not feel ashamed, you are not less human because you are in pain. I ask you, as a friend, to seek help.
Melissa found it in me.
My music does not "cut the wrists," it helps heal wounds."
Melissa spent the little time they had before leaving the safety of the hotel and face the hassle of paparazzi waiting for them at the exit, to re-reading for the fifth consecutive time that Gabriel had posted on their profiles on social networks. Like the first time she'd seen the picture of the two smiling and unconcerned in the most famous beach in Sarasota and read the caption with extreme attention, she felt a small smile forming on her face and eyes tears.
As she had fallen asleep in the middle of the night and they had to continue the trip early, they didn’t take the new photo that she had suggested and Gabriel, even while she slept, had chosen a picture of so many that they took when they were in Florida. And he had chosen well, both the image and the words. The publication, simple and informal, had moved her once more, to see him defend her and support her. What Arthur had said when they met to have breakfast, the same had happened to good part of fandom of the singer who began to show love and support messages online.
Lissa didn’t know how it felt to have her speaker for so many people, even now that the trials and the jokes were giving way to the support posts and affection, but she couldn’t say it was quite amazing. Not when Gabriel had interceded for her, and what most made her proud, by who else carry in the heart the same pain that consumed her. That was what he did best: touched people.
"You must have memorized what is written there ..." Gabriel's voice sounded amused, close to the female ear.
She responded with a shrug, but smiled slightly at the singer, accepting the outstretched hand he offered her to leave the sofa in the middle of the hotel lobby behind.
"Ready?"
She wasn't, but she could not hide forever, even if she secretly wanted to, so she confirmed with a positive nod and before following the singer put on her headphones and gave play on one of the covers that Gabriel used to sing, especially for his girl. She would have to go through the photographers and put up with the flashes trying to blind her, but she could avoid the offensive questions that were usually addressed only to the singer, but that day, she knew, of course, would include her as well.
Getting to the car was easier and quicker than they imagined, thanks to the efforts of the security guards who did not let anyone get too close and then safely on the way to the airport, with Gabriel shaking her hand lightly, Lissa concluded that it might even be difficult, but she could deal with what the world decided to say about herself, she had already faced worse situations, alone and frightened. She could face, with chin up, some crooked looks and malicious remarks now that she was no longer alone and had unconditional support.
"Arthur?" She called for the manager, who had taken the hitchhiker's seat next to Gabriel's personal bodyguard. "On our next break, I might be ready."
Gabe, next to his girlfriend, was not sure what she was talking about, but he had no doubt that it was a good thing to judge by the smile his best friend opened. And Lissa confirmed the impression as she leaned closer and placed a light kiss on his cheek.
"Say it again..." she asked softly.
For a moment, the singer was confused, trying to understand what she wanted to hear, but it was enough to look into her expressive eyes to know.
Smiling, he held her as tightly as he could inside the car.
"I love you!" He whispered, making her smile back.
She loved him, she concluded at that time, but she’ll only be able to say when she was whole again. And she had no doubt that one day she could do it, for Angela, Gabriel and mainly, for herself.
TO BE CONTINUED….
BIGGEST FAN - BROKEN ANGEL II
“Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than
Less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing
You are perfect to me”[48]
A s that was a hellish night that apparently could not be improved, there were paparazzi hungry for some photos at the entrance of the hotel and Gabriel was forced to stop and meet some fans after his bodyguards’ blockade was broken by a tearful teenager who clung to the singer, preventing him from entering the lob
by. After meeting one, it became impossible not to attend everyone else.
He handed out autographs and posed for the photos but he was not able to laugh at his admirers or really pay attention to what they said. He responded to the compliments he received with nods and, as soon as the last autograph was given, he said goodbye with a fast and serious ‘Thank you. Good night!’ that resulted in whispers and regrets as soon as he left the street.
He knew there would be online complaints in a few minutes, but he didn’t care.
He would have gone directly to his room if he had not been stopped, when he reached the door, by Pietro, who anxiously tried to keep Every in his lap, which only served to increase the apprehension of the rocker.
"Mr. Voss..." The bodyguard was visibly nervous. "I'm sorry."
"Not now, Pietro." Gabe tried to tame the bad mood. This was not a conversation to be in the mood as inflated as the rock star was at the moment. "What's he doing outside the room?" He took the kitten, snuggling he against his chest.
"We left him at the veterinary clinic for a blood count... Before we get him..."
"Okay, I get it ..." Gabriel cut the explanation, understanding what had happened and not wanting to waste any more time. "Why didn’t you give he to Melissa?"
"One of the security guards brought he a brief time ago and she didn’t answer when we called her..." Pietro answered quickly. "I also have her bag and ..."
Voss didn’t wait to hear what else Pietro wanted to tell him, to know that Melissa had not answered when they call her raised her concern to an unbearable level. It was not a good sign and he needed to see her.
Entering the suite, after Arthur had used the key card to open the door, the rocker immediately placed Every on the floor and called for his girlfriend.
Since she had no answer, he paced the room, checking every square meter, raising his voice as he called for her.
"In the shower, Gabe." Arth said when he realized that his friend was too nervous to notice the rushing water.
When Gabriel stopped in front of the bathroom door and stared it for more than 15 seconds, the assistant understood that he was terrified of what he could find inside.
"I can come in if you want ..." He offered after knocking on the closed door, but before he could test the lock, he felt Gabriel's hand on his shoulder.
"No!" Dropping his own backpack to the floor, the singer took a deep breath and pushed the door with a quick movement. His gaze went directly to the large tub that, to the relief of the singer, was completely empty before turning to the glass box.
With his heart leaping, he glanced over his shoulder at Arthur, who was staring at him from outside the bathroom.
"Do not even think about getting in." He warned after seeing his girlfriend cringing in a corner, with the water falling on her naked, trembling body. He could hear her low sobs and the breathing failed, the sound broke his heart.
He had spent much of the night away from her and had been absurdly restless, but the seconds he needed to remove the few belongings he had in his jeans pockets and kick his shoes away were excruciating, especially when Melissa didn’t move to acknowledge him arriving.
“Babe?” He called softly as he entered the shower, not caring about the clothes that would have been soaked. "Talk to me, my love.”
He had to kneel so he could look down at the downcast face and Melissa unconsciously retreated at the first touch.
The instinctive movement of pulling back and shrinking against a wall, when she was startled by a light touch on her knees, ended up revealing what Gabriel had feared for all night. There was no trace of blood anywhere in sight, but the singer's eyes found new cuts on his girl's arms and legs.
The realization brought a sudden obstruction to his throat, but Gabriel ignored it when Melissa choked for a moment.
Reaching for the small hands, which are now chilled and wrinkled, the singer tried to remember everything his therapist had taught him to be able to handle panic attacks.
"Breathe with me, babe." He spoke slowly "One deep breath at a time." He placed one hand on her chest and the other on her stomach, using his own hands to guide her. "Slowly inhale..." he asked, guiding his hands over her stomach in a calm upward motion. "Now, exhale..." He lowered his hands with her breathing too faster "Again, babe ... Slowly... "Neither one of them was really counting, but it was necessary to repeat the same steps long enough for Gabriel to feel his legs numb, but he continued until he was convinced Lissa would not suffocate in front of him.
The hand on her chest allowed him to feel her heartbeat racing, and as the silent weeping remained even after her breathing found some pattern near normal, the singer continued with his movements, turning them into gentle caresses on soft skin. He wanted to beg her to talk to him, but let her be silent as much as she wanted. Which was too long for the sanity of the singer.
"This shit never works..." Lissa blurted out, her voice failing, after what seemed like forever.
"It's working now" Gabriel replied softly because although she could not tell, breathing exercises were helping. "Open your eyes, babe ..." He asked wanting she focus on anything but what was on her mind "That's right, I want to see those beautiful eyes ..." He forced a smile as she reluctantly looked at him "Tell me five things you can see ..."
"Gabriel..." Mel practically moaned. All she could see was herself being raped.
"One thing at a time..." He insisted "Anything you can see"
"Bricks..." She whispered, the word bringing a new suffocation as she closed her eyes.
"No, no..." Gabe shook his hands to hers "Here and now ... Babe, look around, tell me anything you can see ... Anything that is here"
"You?" She released with an exasperated snort.
"You're not really seeing me with your eyes closed..." he insisted, enjoying seeing her force her eyes open, trying to follow the instructions she received "One more ..."
"Tile ..." Melissa replied "And your bottle of shampoo"
"Give me two more ..." She looked around and Gabriel sighed softly. That was what he wanted, that she would focus on anything but the confusion in her mind.
"Your shoes, my clothes ..."
"Very well!" He praised when the green eyes returned to look for him. "Four things you can touch..."
She didn’t seem very pleased to go on, but she answered anyway.
"I can touch the ground..." He watched her shrug. "I can touch your hands." As recognition, Gabriel tightened his fingers around the female hands. "My hair?" It sounded like a question and she frowned at him, bring her fingers to wet wires
"Don’t think too much... Touch something and tell me. Anything that can achieve "
"Your shirt is soaked ..." She replied by grabbing the fabric that had attached to the male body.
"I can touch you" As if only now she had realized that, Mel had pulled her boyfriend closer.
He accepted the awkward hug, not to mention that she had given him something else she could touch.
"Three things you can hear..." He asked, enjoying feeling that she was not shaking so much anymore
"Water falling, your voice..." Her voice that was so flawed before, just kept hoarseness now "Every is meow"
Gabriel paused for a minute and smiled at the low meowed behind the door. She had listened and he had not.
"Oh my gosh! I forgot he in the vet ...”
"Shush..." The rockstar whispered "Here and now. We can talk about Every later. He's fine. "Here and now. Two things you can smell."
Lissa wanted to complain. How she could forget the kitten? But she didn’t want to disappoint her boyfriend even more, so she answered what he wanted.
"Your perfume... The soap I'm going to need to use"
"One thing you can taste"
Melissa didn’t even pause to think, just touched her lips to those of her boyfriend. It was not really a kiss, just a brushing of lips that too quickly ended up with a slow slide of the female tongue.
"The taste of your kiss"
>
Gabriel smiled and brought his own lips to her wet forehead, kissing her over the thick hair that had clung to her skin.
"Stay with me. Here and now. Just you and me."
"Did this shit work with you?" Melissa asked after a time when the worst of her crisis had passed.
“Yes. And it worked for you too... It's a way to reconnect us with reality, stop focusing on what is dominating the mind”
"It's still on my mind" she admitted, trying to correct herself next. "The assault, you know.”
With a shake of his head, Gabe stopped her from continuing.
"It worked so hard that you're already trying to lie to me..." He looked at her intently. "I know it was not a robbery, but let's not talk about it now. There is one more thing I think you can try when you feel a panic crisis approaching”
Lissa rolled her eyes, but waited.
"Bend your arms in front of your body, your hands holding your elbows..." He showed how her arms should be positioned. "Do you see the space between your body and your arms? This is your personal space... I want you to mentalize that it is also your safe place.” When Mel raised an eyebrow, the singer continued." Now tell yourself: This is my space, I'm safe here, nothing can hurt me in my safe place"
“This is ridiculous!” Melissa let her arms fall.
"Just try..." Gabriel asked. "Say it quietly to yourself, close your eyes and think of a place where you could feel safe, peaceful... And repeat as many times as necessary until you feel safe and in peace.
At first, she did it unwillingly, but when she decided to take seriously what her boyfriend was asking for, she could feel the usual tranquility that Gabriel always transmitted to her.
"You're my safe place..." She said quietly, still with her eyes closed, though she relaxed her arms.
“What?” Gabe questioned, not understanding. He have heard of people mentalizing a flowery garden, an open field, their rooms ... Anywhere, but his girl had to be different and choose to mentalize a person in a place instead.
"You. Both of us in a bathtub..." She replied, sounding slightly embarrassed. "With me lying on your chest and feeling yours arms wrap around me." It's where I feel safe, peaceful and loved.”
Broken Angel (English Edition) Page 42