She did not wish it either. “Aye,” she agreed. “I will not let you leave again.”
When he leaned forward, Allie was not worried that he may lose control. She worried more that she would. As his lips touched hers tenderly, her pulse raced. She understood desire. And love. And never wanted to be without it again.
* * *
Allie woke abruptly, unsure of where she was for a moment. Then she looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings and her memories fell back into place. Brockburg Castle. Reid. She laid her head back down and closed her eyes, not wanting to wake fully just yet.
He was likely gone by now. Reid had said they were to leave with the sunrise, and though there were only arrow slits in the bedchamber’s outer walls, sunlight streamed through them. She raised her fingers to her lips, remembering the firm kiss Reid had given her last eve, followed by softer, more tender ones later. They’d talked well into the night, sharing stories of their childhood and the woes of being raised along the border. English, Scottish . . . it hardly mattered. Both sides of the border were dangerous, but at least Reid had been allowed to defend himself and not rely on others to keep him safe.
Of sorts.
If she’d learned anything from their discussion, it was that his relationship with his brothers was as complicated as hers with Gillian at the moment. If not more so. While he clearly loved all of his siblings, he also harbored a bit of resentment toward both of his brothers. Watching them leave with his father to fight battles he’d thought he should be a part of . . .
A rapping at the door was followed by a small voice. “My lady?”
“Come in,” she called.
A girl, no older than ten and five, entered with a bowl of water and a rag. She placed both items on the table adjacent to the bed and pulled out dried herbs from a pouch hanging from her brown leather belt. She crushed them into the water, and the sweet smell of rosewood followed.
“Good morn, my lady,” the girl said, watching as Allie rose from the bed. Since she shared a maid with her sister back at Highgate, she had traveled to Brockburg without escort. Besides, Morgan was more loyal to Gillian—she would have been stopped at the castle gates had she told Morgan her plans.
“I am Elise.” The pretty but demure girl bobbed a curtsy. “My lady asked that I serve you while you are here?”
It was phrased as a question, to which Allie responded, “And I should be grateful for it.”
Smiling, the girl moved to the bed and began to pound the pillows. Allie eagerly made her way to the washbowl and used the rag on her face and neck, eventually washing just about every spot of bare skin until the water grew cold.
“My lady says you may request a tub whenever you like,” Elise said. “But she thought you might care to join her in breaking your fast this morn.”
And so Allie dressed in one of three gowns she brought, much to the chagrin of Aidan, who’d carried nothing except his own person, his sword, and a few provisions Cook had provided for them. Elise braided her hair and then led her down the spiral staircase and out into the courtyard, which was brimming with activity. She glanced at the stable, unable to help herself, and Elise said, “They are long gone, my lady.”
Allie would have asked how the girl knew her thoughts, but there were few secrets at estates like Brockburg. The servants oft knew as much, and sometimes more, as anyone. Her arrival had not gone unnoticed, if the quick stares and whispers as they walked toward the keep were any indication.
“’Tis not often we receive such lovely visitors,” Elise said.
“’Tis kind of you to say so.”
The maid held her head high as she led the way through the doorway of the great keep. When they turned the corner, a vision in royal blue greeted them.
“There you are.”
Lady Juliette’s long blond hair lay in waves around her shoulders, a single gold circlet around her head the only adornment Allie could see.
“Thank you, Elise,” she said by way of a dismissal.
The young maid curtsied and walked past them, moving into the hall. Allie was about to follow her when Juliette reached out a hand to stop her.
“A word before we break our fast?”
“Of course,” Allie murmured, following her into a small, windowless alcove. She perched on the intricately carved bench with velvet pillows and folded her hands on her lap.
“So,” Juliette said. “Did you sleep well?”
Allie tried to stop the flush that crept up her neck to her cheeks. “I did, my lady. Thank y—”
“Juliette. Or Jules. If we are to be related, there should be no formalities between us.” She paused, then added, “May I speak plainly?”
Allie did not think her answer would matter much. She nodded.
“I fear I must warn you,” Juliette said. “You may hear some things about your intended that will test the bond that has developed between you.”
“Test?” Allie didn’t understand.
Juliette shrugged. “Mayhap not. But please remember what I said. I have never seen Reid this way before. You are good for him, and I know he will be good for you as well.”
When Juliette dropped her hands and stood, Allie did the same.
“And unfortunately, you are about to learn the truth of my words this morn.”
25
If Reid did not get himself killed on his mission, Allie was going to kill him herself.
Juliette was not shy in telling everyone they met that Allie was to be Reid’s wife, and for three days she had endured the whispers and stares of nearly every beautiful woman at Brockburg. Nay, she chided herself, not nearly. Every one. Allie was sure there was not one knight’s wife or servant who had not either looked at her as if they thought her mad or as if they wished to take a knife to her throat for taking what was theirs. She’d even had a very embarrassing conversation with one of Reid’s past conquests.
The situation would no doubt have brought Aidan to laughter, but her brother-in-law had already returned to Highgate, satisfied that she was safe and had been made welcome. He had promised to return for her after apprising Graeme of the latest attacks, but she’d insisted it would not be necessary. She planned to return with Reid and Juliette to make one last appeal to her sister.
Of course, that had all happened before she was exposed to the evidence of Reid’s promiscuousness. Feeling the desperate need to hit something, she’d begged Juliette to find her a private place to train, and although she’d not brought her own sword, the lady of the keep had introduced her to Ansley, the armorer, who’d provided one that would serve her purposes. Now Allie stood before a poor, innocent tree making swing after swing. She’d thought it would help to take out her frustrations in such a way, but it did not. As she swung the sword, she cursed herself for being here, cursed herself for considering leaving, and most of all, cursed herself for being so indecisive.
She paused long enough to ensure the guard was still there, and sure enough, the man leaned against a distant tree, one that had not yet suffered the abuse of her sword. Juliette had insisted the man could be trusted to keep quiet, and since he was not even looking at her, Allie was inclined to agree with that assessment.
Raising the sword once again, she positioned her feet properly and made more measured movements—only the very act of using the sword reminded her of him. The slow, controlled swings came harder and faster until she was panting with the effort of keeping the sword in the air for so long.
“I would say you’ve emerged the victor.”
Allie swung around at the voice. Her chest heaved with exertion. Instead of the happy reunion she’d imagined, she simply stood and stared at the man she loved. A man, it turned out, she hardly knew.
“Go away.” An odd command since she currently resided in his home, but Allie said what came to mind. And what she wanted most right now was to be alone with her conflicting thoughts.
Of course, he did not listen. He sauntered toward her as casually as he had during that first
training session.
“Who did you speak with?” he asked flatly.
Allie did not know where to begin. “Who? If only there was just one person here with something to say about Reid Kerr, the poor youngest brother whose life is so difficult he’s had to console himself with—let me see if I can remember—the maid Anne, and of course—”
“Put down the sword, Allie.”
She was not fooled by his voice. Though calm, Reid simmered inside. She knew the signs, had seen them before. But after the past few days, she was feeling reckless.
“Or what, Reid? Will you use your charms to seduce me as it seems you’ve done with every other woman who is not otherwise spoken for in Scotland? But wait, that hardly matters, does it? One nasty rumor that Anne was quick enough to share linked you with—”
“That is enough.”
When he took another step toward her, this time Allie did not back away. Rather, she dropped the sword and spanned the remaining distance between them. “No, I do not believe it is. I’ve learned much these past few days. Though not all unexpected, I am left to wonder at my own judgment. If it were not for Juliette, I’d likely not even be standing here right now.”
They stood toe to toe, but Allie would not be intimidated. He’d taught her how to fight, and that was exactly what she would do now.
“I should have warned you,” he said.
“Warned me? About what, precisely? That you’ve bedded more women than I could count to until I was four summers? Or that the only people with kind words for you are either related to you or are enamored with you? Or that the elders will not honor Toren’s request because they do not trust you? What is it that you would have warned me about, Reid?”
She should not have said that last thing—she knew he struggled to feel worthy of the position—but she was so angry, so hurt by what she’d learned that she could not help but lash out.
“You are angry.”
“Angry? Nay, not that. What makes you think—”
His lips covered hers before she could finish the thought. And though she wanted to push against him, continue to rail at him, she also wanted to be consumed by him. Allie pulled him closer, forcing their mouths together as his tongue plunged into her. She met the thrust with one of her own, and it was only when Allie felt the rough bark of the tree behind her that she realized they’d moved.
Reid lifted her buttocks up and wrapped her legs around him. Supported by the tree and his hands, Allie pulled his head even closer, taking as much as he gave. His groans were joined by hers, and when he pressed the evidence of his need against her, she pressed right back. He ground himself into her, and Allie kept pace. Grabbing and pulling him, she also cursed him in her head for making a confusing situation even more so.
She wanted to leave and stay in equal measure. If not for a whistle in the distance, the choice of whether or not she should marry this man may have been taken from her. Allie would not have stopped him if he’d taken her maidenhead. In fact, she’d already begun to imagine what it would feel like, making love to this man that she adored, and despised, above all others.
“Reid!”
He dropped her and turned, Allie adjusting herself and watching as his brother emerged from the wood.
“Not now, brother,” he growled as Toren moved closer.
“Now,” Toren responded. “I’ve called a meeting, and your presence is requested.”
It did not sound like a request.
Reid turned to her. “We are not done here.”
Whether he meant their intimacies or the discussion, Allie wasn’t sure. With one final glance, he followed his brother away. Her guard returned just as soon as he disappeared, leaving Allie stunned and confused.
What had just happened?
* * *
“We found them, punished them, and the repercussions will come.”
Reid listened to the arguments of those around him in the great hall, but he remained quiet. His brother had advised him to keep rein of his anger before the elders—an easy task for his brother, who commanded their respect, but less so for him.
But it seemed to be working.
He’d endured curious glances all afternoon, but Reid would not be goaded. He listened to Toren’s assessment of their brief trip across the border. They’d found the raiders, but rather than turn them in to the warden, they’d stolen their cattle back.
The change in tactics would not go unnoticed. It ensured the tentative peace negotiated at Highgate End was officially at an end, but they’d been left with no alternative.
“When they do come, we’re ready,” Toren said.
“But are the others?”
They had also sent word to neighboring clans, warning them of what was likely to come.
Reid stood with his brother, always. Even if he did believe they were being manipulated by the English warden. Aidan’s messages from Lyndwood had confirmed his worst fears, but the news had arrived too late for them to stop what had already been put into motion.
It was the end of peace and the beginning of war.
“And when our own men are called to the Day of Truce for their crimes?”
Reid found himself thinking of Allie as Toren alleviated the fears of the same people who had encouraged them to take the offensive. It seemed he was not the only one who was torn. The elders remembered how much tougher life had been on the border before the treaty was signed.
He should have spoken to Allie before he left. He knew that, had known it then. But the words had refused to come.
Do I deserve to be forgiven?
His actions had been deplorable, as if bedding women and pretending not to care what anyone thought of him would allow him free rein to act any way he pleased.
“Reid?” his brother demanded. “What say you?”
They’d been discussing the Day of Truce.
Apparently Toren was ready for his opinion.
“I believe—”
“We should not go.”
Goddammit. It was Alex. Again. No one had summoned him—just as with the council, he’d come on his own volition.
“Brother? When did you arrive?” Toren asked.
When he felt a hand on his shoulder, Reid grasped his brother’s hand in greeting despite his annoyance.
“Not long ago. I was held up speaking to a most enchanting visitor.”
Allie.
Somehow that made it worse, as if Alex was undermining him at every turn.
His brother walked around him and sat next to him on the bench. The hall had been cleared, and Toren, refusing as always to sit anywhere but with the other men, sat across from them. The others, scattered about the room, all watched the most recent development with interest.
“We’re overjoyed Dunmure is such a short distance away. To think, I’ve been graced with your presence twice in such a short while.”
Alex put his arm around him. “’Tis good to see you too, Reid. Despite our last leave-taking. Although I don’t believe now would be a good time to discuss that.”
Toren looked back and forth between them. He’d not mentioned his falling-out with Alex, and clearly their elder brother was curious. But that would have to wait.
“You believe we should not send representation to the Day of Truce?” Toren pressed.
Alex looked at Reid as if waiting for him to answer first. When Reid held out his hand, indicating he should talk, his brother did not hesitate.
“We should not. But of course it is not up to me. It did not take long for word to reach Dunmure about these recent events. Nor will it take long for the others to understand that everything has changed.”
“And when Douglas returns?” Reid asked.
He had tried to remain silent, but he simply could not sit here silently while his brother, no longer Toren’s second, expressed his opinion. If that was what it took for the elders to have faith in him . . . maybe he did not want the position. Surely the point of being a second was to help the chief make difficult
decisions.
“What are you suggesting?” Edmund asked.
“I am suggesting—” He looked at Toren, who nodded his encouragement. His brother had told him often, as their father had done many, many times before, that support and agreement were not the same thing. “That we go.”
Raised voices erupted all around him.
“If we do not go, it is akin to spitting in the face of all you’ve accomplished these past thirty years. I am not the only one who believes it is important not to allow the Day of Truce to be rendered irrelevant too soon. Which is exactly what will happen if we fail to appear.”
“Do we lay down our necks for them too?” one of the men yelled. “Make it easy for them to chop off our heads.”
“We send someone,” Reid said, “so as not to break the truce. Give Douglas time to speak to the king, to learn of the new information regarding Caxton’s actions. If Clan Kerr stays away, a fight is inevitable.”
Toren frowned. By the look on his face, it appeared he sided with Alex.
“I will go.”
Toren shook his head. “You will not. Anyone who goes will be immediately arrested. And with Caxton as the sitting warden, no amount of support from either side of the border will matter. You will not go.”
Reid looked at Alex then and pointed his chin toward the exit. His brother understood and they excused themselves outside the room.
“I do not agree with you on this,” he said, knowing it would not matter. Their chief had spoken.
“We’ve disagreed many times before.” Alex clasped him on the shoulder. “But you are my brother, and no decision will ever come between us.”
It was precisely what Reid had brought Alex out here to say.
“I love you, and Toren and Catrina, always.” He could not allow for discord between them and needed his brother to understand. By Alex’s smile, Reid knew he did.
After all, it was not his brother’s fault that Reid was just beginning to believe he may actually deserve the position as Toren’s second. And that he’d been proven wrong once again.
The Rogue’s Redemption Page 16