A Widow Redefined

by Kim Cano

  I want you to know that I feel so lucky to have a friend like you.”

  I signed it Amy, then hit send.

  •••••

  Tuesday was a normal day at work. Dave had called in and spoken with Fatima, and she assured him everything was still okay. He still didn’t share any details of his family emergency, but that didn’t surprise any of us.

  That night my mom had her book club so Tyler and I went to the library so he could look for a yoga DVD.

  “How come we’re looking for a yoga video?” I asked him.

  He scanned the titles, tilting his head to the side. “Sam’s doing it twice a week. He says it loosens him up and makes his parkour moves better.”

  Understood. Tyler was going to do anything Sam did. I was thankful he was a nice kid and was into sports instead of trouble.

  “Here’s one,” I said, holding it up.

  Tyler checked the description. He decided it would work. All we needed to do was stop and get the yoga blocks at the store.

  Doing yoga with my son that night was one of the most relaxing things I’d experienced in years. Tyler thought so, too, then went to finish up his homework.

  I decided to check my email before bed. Lots of junk, and a response from Sabrina. It read: “I’m glad you enjoyed the party. And you didn’t have to clean the dress. But since you did, do you want to come by with it this weekend? We could swim again or do something else. I just can’t do the following weekend because there is a legal matter I have to take care of and I’ll be out of town.”

  I was surprised she didn’t say anything about Dr. Friedman. Was she embarrassed? Did she not want to take credit? With her there was no way to know for sure.

  I wondered if Miguel would go with her to address the legal issue she mentioned. Why hadn’t they gotten together? He seemed genuine, sincere. Maybe Justin actually was helping her, putting someone right under her nose, but she wasn’t paying attention.

  I responded to her email and said Sunday would work. I planned to bring up the subject of Dr. Friedman then. It was much too big to ignore.

  When Dave returned to work Wednesday morning he seemed to have aged in the few days he’d been gone. He never told us what happened, which was typical of his character. I wondered why he acted like that? After Justin died, and I was devastated, Dave had been very comforting. He’d spent time listening to me sob at my desk, without complaining. And I’ll never forget how he gave me two weeks off with pay—weeks I didn’t have coming—to rest and recover.

  I appreciated all he’d done for me. Maybe that’s why I didn’t revel in his absence. I respected my boss. And if not talking about his family emergency was what he preferred, then I wouldn’t pry.

  •••••

  Wednesday night Mom offered to take Tyler to Josephine’s.

  “Are you sure?” I asked.

  She smiled. “He’s turning in his assignment, the one of my hand.”

  I could see it was important to her, and I didn’t want to take away her chance in the spotlight. “Be my guest,” I said.

  I mused about how being a model for a child’s art project could make a person feel so good. I could only imagine how the models who worked for Sabrina felt.

  After they left I sat on the sofa and closed my eyes. It felt good to just do nothing. When I opened them a few minutes later, I saw the yoga blocks resting on the floor by the TV. We usually skipped working out on Wednesdays, but I felt compelled for some reason, so I walked over and picked up the DVD.

  The instructor looked to be over fifty, yet she had the nicest figure. Health seemed to emanate from her. I want that, I thought.

  After I finished the workout, I lay down on the floor. It was the second most relaxing night I’d had in years. We would have to buy our own copy of the DVD after returning this to the library.

  I had more time to myself, so I curled up on the sofa and picked up a book to read. In a little while I heard Mom and Tyler come back, so I got up to greet them.

  “Hey honey, how was your lesson?” I asked Tyler.

  “Good,” he said. He wore a smile that ran from ear to ear.

  I looked at my mom for an explanation. She winked as she passed, code for “I’ll tell you later.”

  Tyler left to use the bathroom. Then Mom whispered in my ear, “He showed Josephine some of his jumps. You should’ve seen her. She was so impressed. All she kept saying was how cool he was.”

  This news filled my heart with joy.

  “And how did he do with his assignment?” I asked. “Did she like your hand?”

  Mom lifted her hand in the air, displaying it. “She specifically said she loved the model. Said the wrinkles added character to the work.”

  “Character, huh? Is that what they call it?” I said, ribbing her. “Oh you know what, I told Sabrina I could stop by on Sunday and return her dresses. Could you watch Tyler for a little while?”

  She shrugged. “Sure. Vogue magazine hasn’t called yet.”

  I laughed. My mom was a good sport. I loved having her here with us.

  Tyler walked into the kitchen, still wearing his massive grin. He’d also changed into sweatpants. Probably planning to go out in the yard and practice a few more moves, just to stay “cool.”

  •••••

  Sunday morning I rose early and made breakfast for everyone. I felt guilty when I found out my mom was taking Tyler to the community pool and I was going to swim at Sabrina’s.

  On the way to her house I thought about how I used to be uncomfortable having such a rich friend. Now it didn’t seem to matter. It was funny how much had changed and in such a short time. Just a few months ago, I’d despised and not trusted this woman. My life was filled with sadness, constant memories of the past. Now, neither was true. And it surprised no one more than me.

  When I got to Sabrina’s, Henry answered the door. I hadn’t seen a lot of him lately and assumed he was only working special events, like her party. Since I didn’t have a jacket to hand him, he just welcomed me back.

  Sabrina wasn’t there, so I stood in the foyer, waiting. A minute later, the door opened and she walked in. She was outfitted from head to toe in stylish active wear. She must’ve been out running.

  “Hey. Perfect timing,” she said. “Now we can hit the pool.”

  I’d wondered how she stayed in shape. She had such a nice figure. Of course, she hadn’t had any kids yet, so she was ahead of others our age.

  “I’ll go change into my suit,” I said.

  While in the guest bathroom, I noticed for the first time that my own figure had improved. I could finally see some benefits of the family workout routine.

  When I got to the pool area, Sabrina had already gotten in, so I climbed in, too.

  “It’s funny,” I said. “My son went swimming at the community pool with his grandma today.”

  Sabrina frowned. “You should’ve brought him here. He’s welcome to come.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “Maybe I’ll bring him another time.”

  Sabrina began doing laps, taking her pool time a bit more seriously. I did the same. And as I listened to the sound of the water splash in my ears, I wondered why I hadn’t thought of bringing Tyler here before. She’d mentioned wanting to have a kid to play with, and he would get a real kick out of this place. I guess I was just too protective. I never let anyone into our world until I was sure.

  Sabrina veered off course and swam up to me. I saw her coming and stopped, then began treading water to stay afloat. “Do you remember my friend, Miguel? The lawyer you met at the party?”

  “Oh yeah, I think I do,” I replied, trying to appear calm.

  Sabrina wasn’t buying it. She knew I was nervous, but because she was polite, pretended not to notice.

  “Well, he’s helping me solve a major problem next week. He stopped by earlier so we could discuss it. I feel confident we can get it fixed. Oh, and he dropped off a CD and asked me to give it to you.” She raised her eyebrow in a ques
tion.

  I wanted to sink to the bottom of the pool.

  “That was thoughtful of him. So what kind of problem do you have?” I asked, quickly changing the subject.

  “Well, it’s complicated, but if I were to sum it up, it would come down to knock-offs.”

  “Like copying your designs?”

  “Yes,” she said, then leaned forward and began swimming again, “except at a highly-reduced price.”

  I began swimming again too, and hoped the conversation would stay focused on business.

  “We can’t allow people to copy us,” she said from across the pool. “We lose money and it puts us in a bad position, especially if we want to do a lower-priced line of our own someday, with a store like Target, for example.”

  I couldn’t believe she had taken my idea seriously. I felt proud.

  “So I have question. Kind of on the same topic,” I said. “Last week my mom was a hand model for Tyler’s art project. And it got me wondering, how come a magazine like Vogue doesn’t have a senior edition?”

  Sabrina stopped swimming. This got her full attention. I wasn’t sure if she was offended or intrigued.

  “It’s interesting that you’d ask because Vogue has many editions—international ones, a Teen Vogue, but they haven’t ventured into the market for older individuals.”

  “Why not?” I asked. “Aren’t they the group with the largest population growth? And with the most money to spend?”

  Sabrina climbed out of the pool and grabbed her towel. I followed.

  “You want to know the truth?” she asked.

  “Sure,” I said, while grabbing my own towel and drying off.

  “In the fashion world youth is valued above everything else, worshipped even. No one wants to embrace women aging gracefully, losing their beauty, so they ignore it. They continue to sell the same proven concept. And indeed, they may shun the older, wiser woman with money to spend.”

  “Well, I’m not too into fashion myself—no offense—but I think they should have a Vogue Senior or something like that, something older women can connect with, so they can feel good about themselves.”

  Sabrina nodded rapidly. “Yet they don’t. It’s because they don’t place value on that type of beauty. They can’t sell the dream of reality.”

  She must be right, otherwise they would’ve done it already. If they could’ve made money on it, it would exist.

  “Getting hungry yet?” Sabrina asked.

  “Yeah.”

  I finished drying off and changed in the bathroom. When I got to the kitchen, I saw Henry had put together some good-looking sandwiches.

  Sabrina sat down and handed me a plate. “You have a head for business,” she said.

  I rolled my eyes and grabbed a napkin. “I doubt that. All I do at my present job is data entry. I helped some with Justin’s business, but mostly little things… like depositing the checks.”

  “You sell yourself short,” she said, before taking a bite of food.

  She meant it as a compliment. But I thought my ideas were as ordinary as the next person’s. I was feeling a little embarrassed, so I decided it was time to steer the conversation toward Dr. Friedman.

  “So, how did the party go after I left? Anything exciting happen?”

  “No. Not really,” she said.

  “Were you surprised to see your cousin?” I asked.

  The room instantly tensed up. Then Sabrina said, “I was very surprised… and happy. It had been a long time.”

  Sabrina got up and went to the refrigerator. She pulled out two healthy-looking fruit and yogurt desserts. “My cousin would approve of these,” she grinned.

  I took mine and set it next to my drink. “I was wondering,” I said, “if Dr. Friedman has an office in the Illinois area?”

  Sabrina shook her head no.

  She obviously didn’t seem to want to talk about him. I didn’t care, though. I was going to continue.

  “You know what was odd,” I said. “I never received a bill from him, or any bills from the insurance company showing he’d submitted anything.”

  I reached for my dessert and sat staring at her.

  She kept her eyes down and replied, “I know.”

  She was acting weird. Evasive.

  “Sabrina,” I said.

  She finally looked up.

  “Did you pay those bills for us? Or did your cousin do it as a favor?”

  “Does it matter?” she asked.

  I thought about it for a minute and said, “It does to me.”

  Sabrina sighed. She paused for a while before responding. “Okay, if you must know… it was a favor.”

  I couldn’t tell if she was telling the truth, but what was done was done. What I did know was that I felt immense gratitude swelling in my heart. I didn’t think I could find the words to express how thankful I was.

  “Sabrina,” I said.

  She made eye contact with me again, reluctantly.

  “I want you to know how truly grateful I am, that we both are. I mean, if Justin could speak he would’ve been so thankful had he known. I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t think I could have asked for a better friend. Not in my whole life.”

  Sabrina managed a half-smile. Had I made her uncomfortable?

  “You’ve become a good friend, too,” she said.

  As usual, time moved fast while away from home.

  “Well, I guess it’s about time for me to get going soon. My mom could probably use a break by now.”

  Sabrina’s expression seemed to brighten. “Don’t forget to bring your son next time. He’s always welcome here.”

  I decided I would do that. Then I stood up and excused myself for one last bathroom break before leaving. When I returned, I grabbed my car keys out of my purse and thanked Sabrina for lending me the dress.

  “Good luck with your business problem,” I said. “I hope you get it fixed.”

  Sabrina’s eyes widened and she darted from the room. She returned holding a CD. “I almost forgot,” she said. “Your music.”

  She handed it to me.

  I played it cool and said, “Thanks. And, more importantly, thanks again—for everything.”

  We walked to the foyer and she opened the front door. “See you next time,” she said.

  I smiled and waved goodbye.

  I drove home listening to talk radio. Occasionally, I glanced at the CD lying next to my purse. The news was a broken record. Hot weather with high humidity, falling stock prices, and another murder on the south side of Chicago. I listened to traffic and weather updates every eight minutes all the way home.

  When I pulled into the driveway, I stared at the CD again. Then I stashed it in my purse and went inside.

  Chapter 15

  The house was unusually quiet when I got home. I went in search of Tyler and found him in his room. He had a weird expression on his face. “Hey Mom,” he said. “We just got home.”

  He had gotten five shades tanner. He’d only been out a few short hours.

  “Where’s Grandma?” I asked.

  His expression worsened. “She’s resting. I don’t think she feels too good.”

  I set my purse down and decided to check on her. When I knocked on her bedroom door, there was no answer. I opened it a crack to peek inside. My mom heard the sound and moved. She was awake.

  “Mom. Are you okay? You’re as red as a lobster!”

  She sighed. “I know. I forgot my 30 SPF and it was overcast—”

  “Do you want me to run out and get you something?” I asked.

  “No. I’ll be fine. I put some aloe on. I just need rest.”

  “Do you want something to eat or drink? A glass of lemonade?”

  She shook her head. “No. I’m just going to sleep.”

  I got up and gently closed the door. I felt terrible. Then I began making dinner while Tyler did his homework.

  When the food was ready, I offered my mom some, but she couldn’t eat. She said she was too
nauseous. Tyler and I ate dinner, then skipped our workout since we both swam all day. After the heavy meal and the heat, we were both tired and went to bed early.

  The next morning, before work, I checked in on my mom. She still looked horrible, like she’d been roasted alive.

  “I feel a bit better, really,” she said, trying to reassure me.

  Once again, she wouldn’t let me take care of her. Since Tyler was out of school, he promised to keep an eye on her while I went to work.

  It was a hectic day. There were computer problems, clients with issues, the phone rang off the hook. Yet I still managed to find time to worry about my mom in between.

  When I punched out for lunch, I noticed the Spanish channel was playing in the office.

  I sat in the cafeteria alone with my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. As I pulled out my bag of chips and milk, it reminded me of being a kid at school again. I chewed my food and began zoning out. My relaxing moment was interrupted when Dave came in, looking frantic while listening to a voicemail. Once he hung up, he noticed me sitting nearby.

  “Everything okay?” I asked.

  He looked to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but he smiled and said, “Yep. Just family stuff.”

  I felt bad for him. It made me think of my mom, so I gave her a call after I finished eating.

  “Hello,” she answered, her voice sounding raspy.

  “Mom. It’s me. Are you feeling any better?”

  “Yeah,” she said, clearing her throat. “I took a cool bath and put on more aloe. I’m gonna be fine. I just hope it doesn’t peel.”

  “Okay, well take it easy. I’ll make dinner when I get home. Just relax.”

  Around 3:00 p.m., I stretched and took a break. Fatima got up and walked over to the radio, then turned it up.

  “What are you doing that for?” I asked.

  Fatima spun around and began dancing, some salsa-type moves. “Because I like this song.”

  I cracked up laughing. “You don’t even know what they’re saying.”

  “Don’t have to,” she said, while smiling and shaking her butt.

  It was pretty funny until Barb spotted Dave coming down the hall. She flagged Fatima to turn it down, then she returned to her desk.