A minute later, they’d finished loading his SUV. “I’ll follow you home to carry everything in.”
“Really, I’ve got this,” she assured him.
But because he’d been raised to always carry in the groceries, he insisted.
*
DURING THE SHORT DRIVE to Calder’s house, relief shimmered through Pandora. Not only had he not been angered by having to interrupt his day to help her, but he’d been downright gallant. And now, offering to help her unload? Amazing. Her ex had declared anything to do with groceries women’s work.
Once parked in the garage, she took Quinn while Calder handled her purchases.
In the house, she placed the still-fussing baby in his high chair, dampened a paper towel with warm water, then washed his little hands and hers. “Hold on a minute, pumpkin, and we’ll get that hungry tummy filled.”
She rummaged in the bags Calder had already piled on the counter. Spotting the one item she needed, she removed a box of teething biscuits and handed a cookie to Quinn.
For the longest time, he stared at the biscuit, inspecting it as if he was unsure what to do. When his next logical step was to put it in his mouth, he grinned, oblivious to the drool dripping from his gummy smile.
She wiped his chin with a fresh dishrag before fishing for one of the bibs she’d bought at the store. With it securely fastened to the enthusiastic eater, she set about putting away the groceries and making lunch.
“That’s everything.” Calder set the last of the bags on the kitchen table. Sitting in the chair next to his son, he asked, “What’re you eating, bud?”
Quinn gurgled and waved his hands in the air. “Bah!”
“Really?” he teased his son. “Sounds good.”
“It’s a teething biscuit,” Pandora explained. “Soothes his gums. Plus, buys me time to fix him a proper lunch.”
“Ah....” Calder nodded. “How’d you learn about babies?”
For a moment she froze, then slipped into autoresponse mode, glad for the distraction of putting veggies in the fridge. “Mostly classes and on-the-job training. This is my first full-time position with infant care, but I’ve worked part-time for three other families. Little Jonah, an eleven-month-old, was my biggest challenge. He was a jumper. That baby was nearly the death of me. He’d try escaping his changing table, crib, playpen. Can’t imagine the trouble he’s going to cause his future teachers.”
Calder laughed.
Inside, she felt the stirrings of guilt. More and more, he seemed like a great guy. She wished she could’ve just told him about Julia, but that would only raise more questions—some of which she may not have been able to answer. As Natalie reminded her, she was entitled to her private life. Her only job requirement was giving expert care to Quinn.
“No kidding. I hope Quinn doesn’t try to pull that kind of stunt,” Calder said, still chuckling.
While putting pork chops, chicken and beef in the freezer, she said, “I’m making Quinn pureed peas for lunch. Would you like the grown-up version with a grilled chicken breast?”
His grin did funny things to her stomach. “Thanks for the offer, but I had lunch back on base. Speaking of which...” He stood, then kissed the top of Quinn’s head. “Guess I’d better head back.”
Pandora understood Calder’s work was important, but once he was gone she struggled with the oddest sensation. Something akin to clouds blocking the sun.
*
ALL AFTERNOON, stuck in a stuffy classroom, Calder found his mind drifting to his brief time with Pandora and Quinn. There was so much he needed to learn about his son, but considering how Calder had come to be a father, he’d had a hell of a time adjusting. Sure, he’d read a few baby books, and the first week, his mom had come from North Carolina to help him through the initial crisis, but there were still times he wondered what had happened to his life.
Opening his apartment door to find a wailing, six-month-old baby blocking the way had been a shocker, to put it mildly. Quinn had been bundled in a beaten-up carrier, talking to his pinkie finger.
Since then, everything felt upside down. Calder always seemed to be rushing to catch up. Temporary sitters and day care never seemed to work out and, until finding the agency that had provided him with Pandora, he’d feared maybe having to take an extended leave until his kid started school.
Calm, capable Pandora struck him as an oasis in his child-care desert.
Tonight, instead of rushing around trying to figure out formula ratios and how to scrub Quinn without getting soap in his eyes, Calder figured that thanks to the new nanny, he was back to business as usual.
He’d grab a beer with Mason, Heath and Cooper—maybe even chat up a hot blonde.
Four hours later, Calder shared a table at a favorite SEAL hangout, Tipsea’s, with his boys. “This is the life, huh, guys?”
Mason ate a pretzel. “I don’t know. At lunch, when Garrett was showing around all his family pics... Made me wonder if we’re missing something, but then gazing out on tonight’s sea of available beauties, I’m thinking I like my current life just fine. Can I get an amen?”
Calder and Mason clinked longneck brews.
At the opposite end of the table, Cooper raised his beer.
“You three keep living the dream...” Heath fished in a pocket of his camo fatigues. “But it’s time for me to move on. Lookee what I bought for Patricia’s birthday.” He withdrew a black velvet box, flipped open the lid to display a decent-size rock.
“Whoa—you don’t mean move on as in leaving the SEALs, do you?”
Heath almost choked on his beer. “Oh, hell, no. Just that she means the world to me and I want her to be my wife. We all saw the drama Deacon, Garrett and Tristan went through in their love lives, and I don’t need it. She’s the woman for me. Done. End of story.”
“Good for you, man.” Mason patted his back. “I felt that way once.” He shook his head and laughed. “Good thing I came to my senses.”
Calder laughed his ass off.
Heath flipped them both the bird. “Yuk it up. I’m gonna be the one sleeping on clean sheets every night that I’m home with a good meal in my belly and a nice, soft woman to hold.”
“Should we check this guy for fever?” Cooper asked.
“Oh—I’ve got one.” After pushing back his chair, Heath stood. “It’s called Patricia Fever. I’m going home to her right now. You idiots are just jealous.”
After lover boy took his leave, Calder ordered a burger. Once the waitress left, he said to his friends, “We should stage an intervention. Clearly, Hopper’s traveling down a dangerous path.”
“No kidding,” Mason said.
Calder’s dad loved the ladies, but he had this old-fashioned thing about marrying them before sleeping with them. He was now on his sixth wife, which Calder saw as ridiculous. Though his mom had long since happily remarried and Calder viewed his stepdad as a great guy, he still wanted nothing to do with the institution of marriage. To his way of thinking, marriage only kept good men down. Calder enjoyed women too much to ever settle for one. And truthfully—he winked at a saucy redhead—as much as the ladies seemed to enjoy him, it’d be a damn shame to forever take himself off the market. Vowing to remain available was his gift to womankind.
At least that’s what he told himself, and anyone else who cared to ask why he was still single. In the dark of night, Calder suspected the real reason, but no way was he ever acknowledging the fact.
He, Mason and Cooper drank in silence for a while, staring out at the crowded dance floor. It was Eighties Night and Duran Duran blared over the sound system about hungry wolves.
Mason was first to break the conversational silence. “I’ve bitched about Melissa so much, you guys could probably recite my story for me. But in all these years, you two have never told yours.”
Calder said, “That’s because I don’t have one.”
Cooper tipped his cowboy hat. “Same here.”
Mason twisted to face them. “You’r
e telling me neither of you have ever been serious with a member of the fairer sex?”
“Nope,” Cooper said. “Damn proud of it.”
“Amen, brother.” Calder and Cooper clinked beers.
Mason whistled. “You two are a rare, fortunate breed.”
Calder grinned. “We know.”
Only after downing his burger and taking a spin on the dance floor with not one blonde but three, Calder spotted a brunette who reminded him of the new nanny. His stomach lurched upon the realization that despite all his bragging, he’d enjoyed sharing a conversation with her in his kitchen, watching his boy chow down on his cookie, more than he had spending the past three hours in this bar.
*
PANDORA JUMPED WHEN the front door opened and in walked Calder. Almost nine, with Quinn long since tucked in for the night, she’d been alone for so long that the house almost felt as if it were her own.
“What’s going on?” he asked, opening the entry-hall closet to set his motorcycle helmet on the top shelf.
“Not much. You?”
He sat in the armchair adjacent to the sofa. Was it her imagination or did he smell like a bar?
Though it was none of her business where he’d been, she asked, “Tired? You worked late.” Early in her recovery, the faint trace of booze on his breath would’ve had her craving a drink. Now realizing how much those drinks had ultimately cost in regard to her daughter...? She was content to stick with sweet tea.
He shrugged. “I’m good. Workwise, it was a pretty slow day, so afterward, me and a few friends stopped off for a burger and beer. I chilled there for a while to be sure I was sober enough to drive.”
She nodded.
“Quinn all right?”
“Perfect.”
The house’s silence that had only a few minutes earlier been comforting now served as a reminder of just how awkward her new position may be. She’d never stayed with a family before and she hadn’t thought about the situation from the perspective that for all practical purposes, she now lived with this man.
Drip, drip, drip went the kitchen sink.
Outside, the neighbor’s dog barked.
“Well...” Calder leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Since we’re probably both thinking it, I’m going to come right out and say it—this is weird.”
She exhaled with relief. “You’re feeling it, too?”
“No offense, but the way you’re sitting there all prim and proper like my mom, I’m afraid you’re going to ground me for missing curfew.”
She laughed. “Trust me, I’m the last person who’d judge.” Although if she were in his position, she wouldn’t waste so much as a second away from his son. She’d learned the hard way what it was like when you weren’t able to see your child. The pain was indescribable.
“Now that we’ve got that dealt with—” he stood, tugging his T-shirt over his head “—I’m gonna grab a quick shower, then study a new manual.”
“Um, sure.” Her cheeks blazed. Faced yet again with his muscled-up chest, she was grateful he retreated to his room. The part of her craving adult conversation realized Calder’s vanishing act was for the best.
He was her boss.
Not her friend—certainly not anyone whose bare chest she should be appraising.
Chapter Three
“Since you’re still up, there’s something I want to run past you.”
An hour had gone by since they’d last talked, but judging by the way Pandora jumped when Calder entered the room, she’d been deeply absorbed in a parenting book.
“Scintillating?” he teased, running his hand over his bare chest.
When she glanced up at him, her cheeks reddened. “Um, not really. Just researching the proper way to introduce Quinn to more solid foods.”
He nodded, fighting a flash of guilt for not having read the book he’d bought months earlier. “Last time I talked to my mom, she mentioned that.”
“Oh?” Pandora’s red cheeks fairly glowed. Ducking behind her book, she added, “That’s nice.”
What was her problem?
The air-conditioning kicked on, chilling what moisture still clung to his chest from the shower. Then it dawned on him—prim-and-proper Wonder Nanny didn’t like him not wearing a shirt. She’d be the first woman in history who disapproved of his eight-pack, but as her employer, he supposed professional courtesy dictated he be fully dressed. Ducking into his room, he grabbed a clean T-shirt from an unfolded basket of laundry. After tugging it over his head, he returned to the living room. “I know I told you I didn’t want to talk about Quinn’s mother until I had a few beers in my system, but I guess since you’re now his primary caregiver, you need to know why I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to parenting.”
“I’ve seen worse.” She sipped from her iced tea.
“Not sure if that’s good or bad.”
“Good,” she assured.
He struggled for the right place to start. “Until a couple months ago, I didn’t know Quinn existed. Back then, I shared an apartment with friends and one morning I opened the door to find Quinn in his carrier. A Post-it attached to the handle pretty much said his mom quit and now it was my turn to be his parent.”
Hands over her mouth, Pandora’s striking green eyes shone with unshed tears. “That’s crazy. Where is she now? What if something had happened to him while he was alone? You don’t even know anything about his medical records.”
“Yeah,” he said with a sarcastic chuckle, “tell me about it. I took him to a pediatrician and he seems healthy. Had a DNA test run and sure enough, he’s mine. Only—and I’m not proud of this—I don’t have a clue who his mom could be.”
“You haven’t heard from her? How could she just leave her child without at least reassuring herself that he’s okay? What if you hadn’t even been home, but off on one of your missions?”
“Valid questions.” Running his hand over his whisker-stubbled jaw, Calder said, “I have to assume she knew my car, and when she saw it parked out front, guessed I was home. Still, the whole thing’s thrown me off my game. I’ve been asking tons of questions from everyone I know who has a kid. Bought this house so Quinn would have a backyard. Tonight was the first time I’ve been out with my friends in what feels like forever.”
“Was it as fun as you’ve no doubt imagined?”
Leaning back in his chair, he stared at the ceiling. “It was all right.” What he wouldn’t admit was that his good time had been partially ruined by mental images of her. Of wondering what she and Quinn were doing. Was the little guy playing with his plastic boats in the bath? All of which made no sense, considering how grateful he’d been to hand over his kid to a practical stranger.
“Sorry. Hopefully, now that I’m here, you can get back to your old routine.”
“Yeah. That’d be good.” But would it? And now that Calder had Quinn, was it even possible to revert to the way his life used to be? Before having a kid, he’d had no worries beyond making it to duty on time. Now he had a constant streaming checklist of diapers and baby food and formula. Granted, all of that was now Pandora’s domain, but what kind of dad would he be to just let her take over Quinn’s parenting in full?
“You ever worry about what you’ll do if Quinn’s mother suddenly shows up, wanting to take him back?”
“Thought’s crossed my mind.” In those first rough days, he’d found himself praying for just such a scenario. But as time went on, he’d gotten angry. Calder might not be the best dad, but he sure as hell would never leave his kid on a doorstep. “At this point, I doubt any judge would grant custody to a mother who pulled this kind of stunt. I mean, what kind of woman abandons her child?”
“I don’t know....” Was it his imagination, or had she paled?
*
AS MUCH AS Pandora cherished Calder’s quiet home during her first day, she struggled falling asleep in the still of night. After hours of fitful tossing and turning, she was relieved to hear Quinn cr
y over the baby monitor.
She went to him, scooping him from his crib for a quick diaper change before making him a bottle. By this age, she was surprised he wasn’t sleeping through the night, but after what Calder told her, she suspected the little guy was waking not from hunger, but an innate need for reassurance that while he’d slept, his world hadn’t once again fallen apart.
In the kitchen, Quinn on her hip, she said to the sleepy boy, “When your dad told me your mom abandoned you, I felt sad. But then I felt guilty. By choosing to drink over raising my little girl, is that what I did to her?”
Quinn nuzzled his head against her neck. His warmth, the downy-soft feel of his hair, filled her with achy longing for her own child.
Soon, Julia. Soon.
Her next court date wasn’t until spring, but that was okay. By then, she’d have saved even more money—enough to provide her daughter with the true home she’d always deserved.
Pandora turned on the overhead light, heated the formula and poured the liquid into Quinn’s bottle. But as she tried to add water to the pan with one hand, it slipped, clanging Quinn into instant, startled tears.
“I’m sorry,” she crooned, setting the bottle on the counter to free both her arms for soothing. “I didn’t mean to scare you. It was just a loud noise. Nothing really scary.” Like the nightmares she still had of the day her Julia had been taken.
“Everything all right?” Calder, wearing nothing but athletic shorts, hovered on the kitchen’s threshold. As was beginning to be habit, her mouth went dry at just the sight of him and her pulse raced. At what point did her body get the memo that as her boss, not only was the man off limits, but she had no interest in romance—period? Her life’s sole focus was regaining custody of her child.
“Fine,” she murmured, wishing she wore more than a flimsy, too-short nightgown. “Sorry we woke you. I dropped a pan, which scared this guy.”
“Glad it was nothing major.” He ambled toward the fridge. “Got anything good in here?”
“There’s leftover meat loaf from dinner. If you’ll take Quinn, I’ll make you a sandwich.”
A Navy SEAL's Surprise Baby Page 3