He groaned. “I know making late-night snacks for me is hardly the job description I gave to your agency, but man, does that sound like a good trade.”
Laughing, she handed him the baby, trying to ignore the almost electric awareness stemming from an act as simple as brushing against his hands and forearms. Even harder to ignore, though, was the heat radiating from his magnificent chest—and his smell. Manly soap mixed with faint sweat.
Reminding herself of the task at hand, she made quick work of assembling his meal while he sat at the table with Quinn. “Ketchup or mayo?”
“Gotta go with ketchup.”
“Warm or cold?”
With another happy groan, he asked, “Woman, how has some lucky guy not snatched you up?”
If he only knew.... “Stick to the question at hand, sir.”
“Fair enough.” He failed to look remotely chastised. “I’m used to eating pretty near anything, anywhere, but since you asked, warm sounds off-the-chart good.”
She nuked the sandwich. When the microwave dinged, she set his plate in front of him. “Be careful. It could be too hot.”
“Thanks. If this tastes anywhere near as good as it smells, I might steal you away from Quinn to make you my personal chef.”
Pandora held out her arms for the baby, steeling herself to disregard any physical pleasure stemming from the exchange. “Judging by what you’ve told me about your eating habits, sounds like he needs me more than you.”
“Probably true.”
When Calder took his first bite, Pandora realized she’d been holding her breath in anticipation of his verdict. It shouldn’t matter whether or not he liked her silly sandwich, but it did.
Only when he smiled did she exhale. “All I can say is wow. If the mashed-up food you feed Quinn is half as good as this, he is one lucky kid.”
Fairly glowing from Calder’s compliment, Pandora had the feeling she was the lucky one.
After his latest bite, Calder glanced at her, then cocked his head. “You look different.”
“I’m, um, not wearing my glasses. They’re mainly for reading and driving. Long-distance stuff.”
He nodded. “You look good—not that I mind glasses, just that...” He reddened. “I’m gonna finish my sandwich.”
Mortification didn’t come close to describing the emotion surging through Pandora. She looked good? What did that even mean? In manspeak, was that a step above ugly, yet beneath homely? Moreover, why did she care?
*
“SO IT’S THE MIDDLE of the night,” Calder said to his friends during a break in day two of smart-bomb training. “I hear Quinn screaming, only once I find him in the kitchen with the new nanny, he’s already settled down. And damn if she doesn’t look pretty good in this skimpy naughty-nightie number. Her hair was all down and a little crazy and she’d even lost her glasses. Anyway, so next thing I know—”
Mason whistled. “You two put the baby to bed, then got busy?”
“Get your mind out of the gutter.” Calder smacked the back of Mason’s head with one of the wiring manuals they were supposed to be studying. “From there, she makes me a meat-loaf sandwich I swear was better than sex.”
“Sounds to me like you’re not doing it right.” Heath high-fived Mason.
Calder shot them both dirty looks.
Cooper never stopped reading.
“All I’m saying is I think I found a keeper.”
“Don’t you mean Quinn found a keeper?” Deacon asked.
“Who asked you, married man?”
Finishing the last swig of his bottled water, Deacon shrugged. “Just pointing out that for a guy who hates female attachments, and considering this nanny’s only been on the job twenty-four hours, you’re sounding awfully content.”
“What’s wrong with that? As long as I keep things professional with Pandora, I can see this working out for a nice long time. I do what I want. Quinn’s getting great care. It’s a win-win for all involved.”
Heath snorted. “What’s the nanny getting out of it?”
Calder winked. “The pleasure of seeing me.”
*
“IT’S A LITTLE BARE, but it has good bone structure.” Natalie, in her official capacity as the owner of Earth Angels, the child-care agency Pandora worked for, finished her walk-through of Calder’s home and set her clipboard on the kitchen counter. “I know it’s only been one night, but how was it?”
“Good.” Pandora held Quinn, waging a playful battle over who had control of her glasses. So far, the baby was winning.
“Care to elaborate?”
“It was very good. Awkward at first, but I guess that’s to be expected. Did you know Quinn was literally left on Calder’s doorstep? Calder’s only had him a few months.”
“Whoa.” Natalie sat at the table. “Sure your new boss wasn’t pulling your leg? He certainly didn’t divulge any of that while filling out his paperwork. Sounds crazy.”
“Tell me about it. Remember how when I first asked about Quinn’s mother, he put me off? I assumed they must’ve had a nasty divorce, but I never expected anything like this.”
Quinn squirmed to be let down, so Pandora set him on the wood floor she’d cleaned earlier that morning.
“Luckily, Quinn doesn’t show signs of abandonment issues.”
“He did wake up around two last night. Seemed more interested in having a nice cuddle than a bottle.”
“Poor thing....” Natalie shook her head, then sighed. “Well, I’ve got two more stops, then a mountain of paperwork back at the office, so I’d better go.”
When she stood, Pandora gave her friend a hug. “Even though your stay was official, it was nice seeing you. We should do lunch.”
“For sure. And didn’t you have a visit with Julia last Saturday? How’d it go?”
“I wish. Her foster family rented a beach house, so we needed to postpone until this week.”
Just thinking about seeing her daughter filled Pandora with anticipation, but also resentment. To her way of thinking, Julia should’ve been returned at least a year ago.
“I know that look,” Natalie said with another quick hug. “Be patient. Before you know it, you’ll be spending every night going over homework and driving to soccer practice.”
Pandora crossed her arms. “From your lips to God’s ears....”
*
“YOU’RE HOME EARLY.”
In the entry hall, Calder shrugged. “A few guys were setting up a volleyball game down at the beach, but I wasn’t feeling it. You two, on the other hand, look like you’re having fun.” Pandora sat on the floor with Quinn, building a block tower. When she placed the last block on top, he knocked the whole thing down, shrieking and laughing with delight. In the short time he’d had his son, Calder had never seen him this happy, which produced a mixed bag of emotions. Part of him was thrilled with Quinn’s smile, but another side of him regretted not having been able to produce the same results.
Pandora grinned up at him. “It’s looking more and more like your son is destined to become Master of the Universe.”
“Sounds like a noble calling.” That was it. The last of anything witty he had to say. Pandora and Quinn were back to their two-person game and Calder stood there like an oaf, not sure what to do with his hands.
Why hadn’t he gone to the beach with his friends?
He knew why. Guilt had damn near eaten him alive. The whole point of hiring a nanny—aside from caring for Quinn—was so Calder could get back some semblance of his former life. So why did he feel like a louse each time he tried to do just that?
She glanced his way. “Want to take over for me? I should probably start dinner.”
“Sure.” Inspiration struck. “But would you rather pack up the kiddo and head down to the beach to hang with my team? They’re cooking out.”
“Will there be a lot of drinking?” Of all the questions she might have asked, that wasn’t one he’d expected.
“Maybe beer. But it’s a school ni
ght, so if you’re worried about Quinn being around a bunch of drunk guys, I doubt anyone’s going to get hammered.”
She fiddled with her messy ponytail. “I don’t even own a bathing suit.”
“You don’t have to go in the water. Come on, it’ll be fun.” And it sure as hell beat sitting around here, trying to drum up something clever to say.
“I don’t know....” The way she worried her lower lip, drawing it into her mouth so a sliver of her teeth showed, struck him as sexy.
“Come on. Think of it as an official duty. I’m making you go, since I’d like to be with Quinn and my friends. More important, if you’re not there, who’ll hold the baby while I play?”
She sighed, but pushed to her feet. “Give me a sec to change into shorts and get gear and a bottle for Quinn.”
*
“WHOA, THIS A MIRAGE?”
“Lay off, Hopper,” Calder said to one of the guys they’d just approached. Feeling awkward around more of the hulking SEALs who were similar in stature to her boss, Pandora welcomed the distraction of Quinn making his usual play for her glasses.
Calder made introductions and everyone seemed nice, but once the volleyball game started and she and Quinn were relegated to the sidelines to sit with a girlfriend of one of the SEALs, Pandora felt like the proverbial third wheel.
Which shouldn’t have mattered.
It wasn’t as if she and Calder were even friends, so why had a twinge of disappointment lodged in her belly over the fact that for all practical purposes, she might as well be invisible? It was ridiculous.
Though she’d worked for her last family over a year, she could count on one hand the number of times she’d spoken to the girls’ father. What was it about this position that should be any different?
Calder’s team scored and he high-fived the other guys.
As was starting to be an alarming trend, he’d taken off his shirt. His friends had also lost theirs. The level of male perfection, highlighted in the sun’s early-evening glow was undeniably heady. Yet, at the same time, it left Pandora feeling all the more lonely. It was obvious these men were a tight family unit.
The woman beside Pandora constantly cheered on her man.
Even Quinn unearthed something more interesting than her. His expression turned intense while studying driftwood he’d found in the sand.
Pandora may have grown a lot over the years, but sadly, without Julia, she was still on her own, yet craving more. Once and for all, she wanted to be part of a real family. But she knew better than to think she’d find that in a man like Calder. Even if they’d met under different circumstances, what would he want with her? They came from opposite worlds. He was college educated, as she’d seen from the framed diploma he’d stacked along with other yet-to-be-hung pictures in the linen closet.
Had he known Quinn’s mom carried his child, would he have married her? What qualities would he find attractive enough in a woman to make him want to stick around?
Chapter Four
“I can’t get used to the idea of Calder being a dad.”
Pandora glanced up from feeding Quinn his bottle to find a pretty redhead sitting beside her. They’d finished grilling hot dogs and the guys had returned to their game.
“I’m Patricia, by the way.”
“Pandora. Nice to meet you.” She shook her new friend’s hand.
The baby grunted at the interruption in his bottle, but soon enough was back to contentedly downing his meal.
The team playing opposite Calder’s spiked a ball deep into their territory, and the men erupted into a slew of good-natured name-calling—further startling the baby.
“Rowdy bunch, huh?” Patricia ran her hand along Quinn’s downy hair while Pandora comforted him.
“I’ve seen worse.” No way was Pandora prepared to share the number of drug-induced bar fights she’d witnessed. During her blackest moments, when alcohol had no longer been enough, she’d done and seen things that to this day made her deeply ashamed. She may have technically paid for her crimes, but that didn’t mean her soul had been cleared from all wrongdoing.
“My guy’s Heath—that big lug to Calder’s right. If you’re like me, it’ll take forever to get everyone’s names straight.”
“I can see why.” Quinn had finished his bottle, so Pandora tucked it into his diaper bag, trading it for a burping cloth she positioned over her left shoulder. She eased the fussy baby upright for burping and soon enough, despite the noise, he struggled to keep his eyes open.
“I can’t wait to have kids.” Patricia gazed longingly toward Quinn. “My birthday’s Sunday and rumor has it, Heath’s finally popping the question. We plan to get started on our family right away.”
“Want to hold him?” Pandora offered her the baby.
“Yes, please.” The switch was awkward and filled with laughing.
“Mmm...” Cradling Quinn, Patricia closed her eyes and smiled. “He’s amazing. When Heath told me the story of how this cutie was abandoned, it still makes me mad. Like, seriously? Who does such a thing? That woman was the world’s worst mother. Probably strung out on booze or worse.”
“No doubt.” A knot formed at the back of Pandora’s throat. No matter how hard she swallowed, it refused to budge. Would it always be this tough? Remembering the woman she used to be? She had no right judging Quinn’s mom, as she’d once been every bit as bad.
“Quinn smells so good. I come from a large family, but since I was the baby, I never got to play with a real live one till my nieces and nephews started coming.”
“Must’ve been amazing,” Pandora said, “growing up in a big, loving family.”
“Mostly it was.” She laughed. “Although, I still cringe when I think of sharing a bathroom with so many people.”
Patricia’s statement had been innocent enough, but brought still more bad memories of the halfway house where Pandora had spent the past couple years. It had sure beaten living on the streets, but in some ways it had been harder. So many people and rules. So many reminders of how close she’d come to losing it all.
Reminding herself those days were finally behind her, Pandora forced a smile. “How long have you and Heath been together?”
“Two excruciatingly long years.” Cradling Quinn, her smile turned wistful. “It’s hard enough being with a SEAL—you never know when they’re coming or going. Only the wives have any glimmer of real knowledge as to what’s going on. We lowly girlfriends never know anything.”
“Oh—I’m not Calder’s girlfriend,” Pandora said quickly. “Just Quinn’s nanny.”
“Sorry. I forgot. We don’t see many of those. How long have you been with him?”
Pandora laughed. “Actually, this is only my second night. So far, so good.”
Quinn started to fuss.
“Spoke too soon?” Pandora didn’t mind when Patricia returned Quinn to her waiting arms. She’d only been with the infant a short while, but she’d already learned to decipher his basic cries. Hunger. Dirty diaper. Sleepy. Babies were relatively simple to figure out.
Quinn’s father, on the other hand...
In the setting sun’s orange glow, Pandora made the mistake of looking up to find Calder in all his bare-chested glory rising up to spike the ball. He struck her as powerful and in control—not at all the same man she’d encountered when Quinn had been choking. Assuming Calder worked with the same efficiency in his capacity as a SEAL as he did on the volleyball court, what did that say about his parenting skills? The fact that the only time he appeared truly happy and at peace was when he wasn’t caring for his son.
Not that Pandora was judging. Just curious to discover more about him.
Calder’s team won, but by the time they’d defended their victory by besting their challengers in a two-out-of-three series, the sunset’s glow had long since faded to dark.
Quinn slept soundly against her, and since Patricia and her soon-to-be fiancé had skipped out a while back, Pandora had spent the past hour staring out at
the dark surf. She grew up on the wrong side of the tracks in small-town Virginia, so her only memories of visiting the beach were imagined. Fourth of Julys she’d dreamed of watching fireworks. Running barefoot in the sand with a whole pack of sparklers all for herself. Birthdays she’d envisioned with friends splashing with her in the surf and building sand castles. In her rich fantasy life, she’d even had mermaid-themed cupcakes and balloons.
Back to reality, it was hard to believe she’d finally met her lifelong dream of seeing the Atlantic. The faint, briny-scented breeze and the rhythmic crashing of the waves proved hypnotic, making her think of a life that might’ve been. Regret upon regret for not at least giving her own daughter the happiness she deserved.
“Ready?” Calder asked beside her, jolting her to the present.
“Ah, sure.” It took her a few seconds to regain her composure. But then her boss took Quinn, inadvertently brushing her breasts in the trade-off. Only, the invasion of her personal space didn’t feel like an invasion at all. More like the kind of natural thing that happens between a man and woman sharing a relationship and raising a child.
But they didn’t share any of that. For all practical purposes, they were strangers.
“Sorry.” He held out his hand to help her to her feet.
“It’s okay.” She accepted his help, but soon regretted the decision. When their fingers touched, the usual sparks were there tenfold, making her unsure about her next move. Had he felt it, too?
If so, he showed no indication. All polite business, he fastened Quinn into his carrier, then hefted the baby and diaper bag. “That everything?”
“Uh-huh.” Except for the irrational part of her wondering what it would be like to have a real connection with a man as decent as Calder.
*
“THIS WAS GOOD.” Over the years, Calder had had many women in his passenger seat, but none who set him on edge quite like Pandora. Why, he didn’t know, but he took her prim posture and pressed-lip silence to mean he’d done something wrong. Knowing full well he hadn’t and was just being paranoid, he decided to make a game out of coaxing the woman to speak. “You and Quinn have fun?”
A Navy SEAL's Surprise Baby Page 4