Believe In Love

by Mota, Janet A.

  “Mia, I will not let a guy be a priority over you and Evan. Until you both find your own lives, I will not allow myself to get wrapped up in anything serious. You both are my number one priority.”

  “That’s ridiculous. You have already given up so much for us. Why would you let Dylan get away when nothing needs to change? He fits in well with us.” She looks over at Evan and Dylan. “Look at them. They already act like brothers. He knows our story and he knows we come with you. If he didn’t want it, he wouldn’t have come back. Not only did he come back, he takes us to family parties and now to the arcade. I know I’m only fourteen but I’m pretty sure that means he likes you and wants to be a part of your life.”

  I don’t respond and watch as they guys come back with our ice cream. Dylan hands me chocolate and vanilla soft serve swirl in a waffle cone. It’s just the way I like it. Evan must have told him. I catch Evan’s eye and he shakes his head no. I look back up to Dylan.

  “How did you know?”

  “A hunch.”

  Chapter 13

  Sickness

  Dylan

  We have gotten into a routine in the last month. When Amber works late, I go straight home after work. If she is working the day shift, I go directly to her house after work. We’ve shared a few kisses but it doesn’t go any farther than that. I want her in every way imaginable but she is keeping me at arm’s length and I don’t know why. I am so in love with that girl but I will respect her boundaries for as long as she needs. I’m dying to shout my feelings for her from the rooftops but I won’t. The last thing I want is to scare her away. Mia and Evan are excelling in school and I love them like they are my own brother and sister. Miranda has hung out with us a few nights this month. The five of us have a lot of fun together.

  I’m headed over to Amber’s right now. She had mentioned to me earlier that she was feeling very tired today. I really hope the day got better for her. I pull into her driveway. I head up to the front door and Mia answers before I get the chance to ring the bell.

  “Amber’s sick.” She whispers to me. “She refuses to sit down and take it easy.”

  “Got it.” I whisper back and head into the kitchen. Amber is leaning against the counter. I walk up to her and place a kiss to her forehead. She has sweat on her brow. She turns toward me and leans her head on my chest. “Baby, you don’t look okay.”

  “I don’t feel so good.” She says and I feel her lean more into me. I put my arms around her and hug her tight.

  “You need to lie down. We can handle dinner.” I say and she starts to protest and backs away from me. I grab her arm. “Gorgeous, you’re sick. You won’t get any better if you push yourself. Please lay down for me.”

  “Okay.” She says and I guide her to the couch. She lies down. I pick up the blanket from the back of the couch and place it over her. I lean down and kiss her cheek. Her eyes are closed and she doesn’t move.

  I walk back into the kitchen and check on what’s on the stove. It looks like the stew she made is done and the soup she had going is almost ready. Mia makes the salad and Evan sets the table. We eat while the soup finishes. We clean up the dishes and the kitchen. Evan and Mia excuse themselves and go to their rooms to work on homework. I serve up a bowl of soup and set it on the table with a glass of water. I go to the couch to get her up. I get down on my knees and place my hand on her forehead. She’s burning up.

  “Amber, wake up.” She stirs and opens her eyes. She groans and brings her hand to her head. “You’re burning up. You need a doctor.”

  “I’ll be okay.” She says and tries to get up. Her step falters and I catch her before she hits the floor.

  “Evan!” I call out. He comes running and I tell him that I’m taking her to the urgent care.

  ****

  There is no one waiting at the urgent care and I send up a quick prayer. She is really worrying me. My girl is strong and resilient. Seeing her like this scares the crap out of me. I guide her to a chair and then I go the front desk to sign her in.

  “I need her ID and insurance card.” The attendant says and I go to Amber.

  “Gorgeous, I need your ID and insurance card. She opens her wallet and hands me her ID. “I don’t have insurance.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t have insurance. I can’t afford it for myself after I make sure that Evan and Mia are covered.” She says with her eyes closed. I stare at her a moment and then go back to the attendant.

  “Here’s her ID and she doesn’t have insurance. I will pay the bill in full today though.” The attendant nods and says someone will be out to get her in a minute.

  A minute later, a nurse appears and guides us into a room. She checks all of Amber’s vital signs and asks her some questions. Once she’s done, she leaves the room. Amber is laying on the bed and I come to stand next to her. I run my hand through her hair.

  “This is going to cost a fortune.” She says. She’s so sick yet so worried about the bill. My heart breaks at this. She can’t even be sick without a worry.

  “I’m taking care of the bill. You rest please.”

  Her eyes open and lock with mine. “No way. I can’t let you do that.”

  “You can and you will. You need medical attention and I forced you to come. Please don’t worry about it. I need you to get better. I hate seeing you like this.”

  She doesn’t say anything else and closes her eyes. The doctor comes in and asks some questions and examines her. She has the flu, strep throat and a double ear infection. The doctor sees that she doesn’t have insurance and sends her script to a grocery store down the street. They give generic antibiotics for free. The doctor gives her care instructions; I pay the bill and head out. We stop at the grocery store and I pick up her meds.

  An hour later, I am carrying her through the door and take her directly to her bedroom with Mia’s guidance. I lay her on her bed and she relaxes immediately. I tell Evan and Mia what the doctor said. They kiss her goodnight and leave us.

  “Change into your pajamas and get into bed. I’m going to get you a glass of water to take your meds.” I say and head out of the room, closing the door behind me. She hasn’t said anything to me since I told her that I was paying the bill. I get the water and head back toward her bedroom. I knock on the door and she tells me to come in. She is lying in bed wearing a very old t-shirt.

  I take out her meds and hand them to her. She puts them into her mouth and swallows them with the water. She places the glass on the bedside table.

  “Are you hungry?” I ask.

  “No.” She responds and closes her eyes.

  “Get some rest.” I say and kiss her forehead. I leave the room and Evan is waiting for me.

  “How’s she doing?” He asks.

  I nod toward the kitchen and we head in there. “She’s miserable but should start to feel better tomorrow.”

  “Good. I’ve never seen her so sick.” He says. “Are you okay? You seem just as worried.”

  “I am and she’s mad at me.”

  “Why?”

  I give him the quick rundown at what happened at the urgent care with the bill. “My sister doesn’t know how to accept help because no one has ever offered it to her. Thank you for doing that and she’ll get over it. She always buys new things for me and Mia but when she needs clothes or shoes, she goes to the thrift shop. I’ve never seen her buy anything new for herself. In fact, I can’t remember the last time she bought anything for herself period.”

  “I hope she lets it go. It really isn’t a big deal.”

  “It might not be a big deal for you but it is for us. Thanks again for saving her the stress of another bill.”

  “Do you mind if I stay on your couch tonight? I want to make sure I’m here if she needs me throughout the night.” I ask him.

  “Of course man. Make yourself comfortable.” He says. “Good night.”

  Chapter 14

  The Talk

  Dylan

  I spent all night getting up to
check on Amber. I hated to see my strong girl defeated. I hate more that she’s mad at me. I am lying on the couch staring at the ceiling. This couch is the most uncomfortable thing on the planet. I shift to get comfortable but there is no hope. I pick up my phone from the coffee table to check the time. It’s six am on a Saturday. I really hope Amber doesn’t have to work today. I already know that she’s going to be stubborn about calling out of work but I guess she will stay mad at me because I won’t let her go. I admire her will and determination but she’s not helping anyone if she ends up in the hospital. I sit up and see her standing there, watching me. My mouth suddenly goes dry and my eyes roam her body. She’s wearing a raggedy oversized t-shirt that just covers her ass. Her legs and feet are bare. Her hair is messy and has sleepy eyes. It’s the sexiest thing I have ever seen.

  “Hey gorgeous. How are you feeling?”

  “Not great but better. I’m hoping it passes quickly.” She shrugs.

  “The meds will help.” I look down at my hands and back up to her. “I hope you don’t mind that I crashed on your couch last night but there was no way I was leaving you.”

  “It’s okay. I heard you checking on me all night. Thank you for that.”

  “Did I keep waking you up?”

  “No. I was awake. I would fall asleep but had a hard time staying asleep.”

  I nod my understanding. “Are we okay?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Come here.” I say and she walks over to me. I pat a spot on my leg and she hesitates. I grab her arm and gently pull her toward me. She sits on my lap and I place one hand on her knee and the other on the center of her back. She rests her hands on my arm. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

  “I’m not used to people doing things out of generosity. When my parents passed, no one offered any assistance when we needed it the most. I had to do everything by myself. If someone did something for me, they required something done in return. I never took handouts from anyone because something was always expected from me and I couldn’t repay. I don’t know what you want in return. I can and will pay you back. It just may take a while.”

  I rub her back lightly and see the goosebumps on her arms. I smile slightly that my touch affects her. “I don’t want anything in return. I don’t want to get paid back either. You are my girl and you were sick. I forced you to go to the urgent care so I paid for it. I didn’t mean to embarrass you or put ugly thoughts in your head. I just wanted to get you better quick. I hated seeing you like that.”

  She brings her head up and looks me in the eyes. “Thank you. I’m sorry I got so mad at you. I’m just not used to any of this.”

  “I know. If something bothers you, please tell me and we can work it out.” I give her lips a quick peck. “I’m in this for the long haul.”

  She smiles and whispers, “Me too.”

  “Kiss me.”

  “I don’t want to get you sick.”

  “Kiss me.” I insist. She leans in and kisses me very gently and I don’t push for more. “I love your kisses.” That sexy blush appears on her face.

  “Yours are the best thing ever.” She looks down and shifts in my lap. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course. Ask me anything.”

  “Why haven’t you wanted more from me than kissing?” My thoughts jumble at this question. Does she think that I am not attracted to her because I have not pushed for more?

  “I haven’t pushed for anything more because I just feel like you aren’t ready for it. You don’t seem comfortable with the kissing part yet. I want you more than words can say but I will not push you. You are in control. When you want more, you tell me. I’m game whenever you are.” I bring my hand up to her cheek and pull her face to mine. “You are so sexy, gorgeous and hot as hell in that t-shirt but I will never push you. Like I said before, I am in this for the long haul. You are it for me. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me too. It will kill me but I will respect your wishes.”

  “Okay.” She says and leans into me. She wraps her arms around me and I hug her back. After a minute, she pulls away. “I’m hungry.”

  I laugh. “What would you like?”

  “Just some toast and coffee. Nothing too heavy.”

  “Go back to bed and I’ll bring it to you. By the way, you’re not going to work today.”

  “I’m off today. I wanted to surprise you with that but being sick put a wrench in it.”

  “We’ll have plenty of other days. Go lie down. I’ll bring you breakfast in a few minutes.” She watches me a minute and then retreats toward her bedroom. I watch that delectable ass walk away.

  Chapter 15

  Graduation

  Three Months Later

  Amber

  The last three months have been incredible to say the least. We have gotten into a routine. Dylan and I are growing stronger in our relationship every day. He really is an exceptional person. He’s very loving and caring. He treats me like a princess. I’m in love with him. I’m so in love with him and I don’t know how to handle the emotion. He walks into a room and my heart swells. I love every part of him. I try to show him how I feel but I think I’m miserable at it. I try to touch him often and kiss him every chance I get. I can tell that he likes when I do it. When we are alone, we have very passionate kissing going on but I have not pushed for more. He is true to his word when he said that I would have to make the first move. When I stop, he stops. He hasn’t told me he loves me either. I know he cares for me deeply but I’m not sure if what he feels is love. He has broken through the walls around my heart and I couldn’t be happier. I will say that the fear of his leaving is still there. What if I sleep with him and then he’s gone? What if he isn’t in love with me? I have so many what ifs running around in my brain.

  Evan and Mia love him too. He’s great with them. He helps them with homework and advice when they need it. He really has been a wonderful influence with Evan. Having him around has given Evan the example he needed on how to be a man. Dylan isn’t filled with pride. He believes a woman and a man run the household together. He believes that decisions are made together and that my voice counts to him. Although Evan and Mia were very young, they remember how my dad used to treat my mom. She was only good to cook, clean and have babies. He treated her like she wasn’t smart enough to handle any finances or help make household decisions. It was sad to watch and there a million times when I wanted to tell him to shove his sexist ways, but I was also very much afraid of him. Mia isn’t a social butterfly and tends to be very shy. She doesn’t seem to be comfortable with her school and the other students. She has one close friend and that’s it. She reminds me of me and I hate that she is going through the same struggles. Mia talks to Dylan and I and we try to give her advice and I don’t know if it has helped her.

  Today is Evan’s high school graduation. Aunt Ava and Uncle Jerry are visiting from New Orleans to attend the graduation. They are staying at a nearby hotel and I’m grateful for that. They abandoned me when I needed it the most and I don’t want to be in confined spaces with them for fear of not being able to control my tongue. They invited us to have dinner at a really nice restaurant after the graduation to celebrate. I was afraid they were going to leave Dylan out but they didn’t and were very gracious to him. Who doesn’t like Dylan? Claire and Andrew insisted on throwing a graduation party for Evan but he politely turned them down. He told that that he would rather have a dinner with them than have a party with people he may never see again. I was so proud of him for that. It showed me the kind of man my brother is turning out to be. So, tomorrow night we are going out with Dylan’s family. Dylan’s family is truly phenomenal. They are the kindest and most loving people on the planet. I love them. They are the true example of what a family is. I want to be like them when I have a family of my own. I pray that I have a life like that with Dylan. I want him to be my life partner. There is no one else I would give my heart to.

  My aunt and uncle already picked up Evan and Mia a
nd Dylan is coming by to pick me up. I quickly finish getting ready. As I’m putting the finishing touches of my make-up on, the doorbell rings. I run to the door and open it. There stands the most handsome man I ever seen. He’s wearing black slacks and a gray dress shirt. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. He has a silver watch on and his arms look sexy as hell. My mouth waters just looking at him. His gray eyes are mesmerizing with that shirt on.

  “You look so damn sexy. That skirt is going to drive me insane all day.” He says and pulls me in for a kiss. I gladly comply. I am wearing a black mini skirt with a light blue blouse. My hair is down and I am wearing a simple pair of black pumps on my feet.