Married But Available

by B. Nyamnjoh

  “So they are worth more for their capacity to attract attention in the dark?”

  “Something like that,” said Britney.

  “How fascinating,” said Lilly Loveless, nodding at the same time to say Britney could continue with her story.

  “Rebecca’s past experience in life has been full of ups and downs as concerns relationships with boys. She had her very first boyfriend when she was quite young. Before him, she was being approached by so many boys and she raised her shoulders high because she thought she was very beautiful. The fact of overplaying her beauty meant that boys were not comfortable once they finally had something to do with her. She discovered she had had four boyfriends within two years.”

  “Four boyfriends in two years?” asked Lilly Loveless.

  “Luckily for her,” Britney continued, “she was being advised by her elder sister to stop messing around and spoiling the family name all over the place.

  “Rebecca then decided to settle and to have one boyfriend. Richie was in Form Five but in a different school. His parents were rich: his father is a customs officer and his mother a civil servant, and he was hungry to make his circles see him as part of this wealth. Rebecca fell in love with Richie during one vacation. He invited her to their house under the pretext of giving her the address of one of her former boyfriends who was dismissed from school and had moved to Sawang. Richie welcomed her with cake biscuits and drinks. She was not all that used to him but they discussed each other superficially and the name of her former boyfriend only featured once. Rebecca promised to come back again after two days, to give Richie a letter to take to Sawang.

  “Before the day she was to visit again, Richie went to the shop and bought a good pair of shoes for her.”

  “Girls sure seem to like shoes,” noted Lilly Loveless. “Tell me though, a high school boy with money to buy a girl an expensive pair of shoes? It is difficult to imagine, especially given the images of Africa that are fed us, those of a continent crippled by poverty and by desire without affordability.”

  “Haven’t you heard the saying that every crisis has its opportunists?” replied Britney. “Believe it or not, in major schools around major cities in the country, children are basically awash with more money than sense. They are wayward at school because of their economic might. Oh, they have nifty little cell phones, leading to some schools banning any kind of communication device which is not on the school list. This includes laptops, MP3s, CDs, VCDs, DVDs, flash sticks, etc. Calls are made at the school office or from other phones outside the school when children are allowed out if they are boarders. Some have cars either because parents have given them to compensate for their absence, or the cars are stolen from parents or guardians. The cars allow them to maintain girlfriends who are school children or even school leavers of the same age or older. Those who live alone have parties to die for on weekends, with booze, music, videos including porn and sex on the side. Maids paid for by parents to ease domestic chores may also be reigned in as girlfriends or sex partners. The kids are consumed by a fascination and fixation with designer clothes and shoes, original music and videos of trendy world class singers. The girls all want to look like Barbie doll, and believe that nothing larger than size zero is fashionable, but junk food and an easy life are making the realization of this dream size impossible for most of them. Too much lunch money for school or general discretionary spending means that they just can’t eat their cake and have it. Failure to slim down in reality is compensated for by a taste for luxury through trendy outfits, boutique shoes, jewellery and perfumes imported from Muzunguland, and not from China whose products they consider too cheap and too inferior to be of interest.”

  Lilly Loveless was spellbound, and her notebook said so.

  “Believe it or not,” added Britney. “And it was a real surprise when Rebecca was presented with the shoes. Instead of the words ‘I don’t take presents from boys I hardly know’, she thanked Richie for being more than kind. Little did she know he was building an intention of having her. This he made known to his friends, but to Rebecca he gave the impression his gift was obligation free.

  “Rebecca was a strong chick who had given ‘tête’ to many boys trying to associate with her. Through repeated visits paid by Rebecca to Richie’s house, things finally changed into a love relationship. Jeff, her former boyfriend who had moved to Sawang, soon became forgotten. Now she thought of the fact that she had seen in Richie a new guy who could buy her ‘boutique shoes’ which at the time were not common. She gave the impression of not being aware that Richie could quite simply want to take advantage of her nose for material things.

  “Their kind of relationship was that which was known all over the place. Richie was a student and had peers who liked to show off, such that when they went to the nightclub they bought beer, whisky, and chicken so that their table showed that they had money. He bought Rebecca expensive track suits, shoes, dresses…, and more of the same, again and again.”

  “I smell trouble like burnt cooking,” Lilly Loveless insisted.

  “Be patient,” Britney rebuked, gently. “They went out together for lunch, picnics, shopping and nightclubbing. Not once did she stop to ask where Richie, a simple student without a job, got the money to lavish on her.”

  “Is it normal for girls to ask?”

  “Shouldn’t a well brought up girl ask?”

  “I suppose she should, but do they?”

  “The fact that Rebecca didn’t doesn’t mean they don’t.”

  “I give up,” smiled Lilly Loveless.

  “Rebecca’s misinterpretation of dating led her into a gutter big time,” Britney went on. “She became pregnant and it was the worst time in her life. She had been despising her mother, not helping her, sleeping out for weeks and absenting herself from school because she had to satisfy the wants of her guy. So she did not know how to go about the pregnancy.”

  Lilly Loveless looked perplexed. “Britney, don’t people use condoms?!”

  “Not as much as you would think, especially with the risks of getting HIV. With the excuse that you cannot enjoy a bath with a raincoat on, or eat a sweet in its wrapping, some go to the extent of perforating their condoms, if they bother to wear them at all. Others start off with condoms and then abandon them into the relationship claiming familiarity – ‘I know you, you know me now, no?’ In some instances, the condom simply comes under too much pressure and explodes. And the consequences are frightening. A high school student who died recently was discovered to have kept a diary with 87 cases of girls he had infected with AIDS. A male university student diagnosed with AIDS had the audacity to tell the doctor: ‘I got this thing from the University of Mimbo, and I will take it back there. They will see red.’ Not to mention a highly placed customs officer in Sawang who uses the sumptuous bribes he receives daily to lure unsuspecting beauties to his lair, where he injects them with the most lethal strand of HIV known to exist, thanks to his frequent flyer status.” Britney was bitter. “If you investigate further, these are probably guys who had a chance to make a difference from the outset. Stories abound of girls who take a condom from their purse and ask a man to push it on only for the man to push it away saying: ‘You don’t expect me to eat banana without taking off the skin, do you? I’m not a pig, mind you.’”

  “And the authorities do nothing to curb such irresponsible behaviour?” Lilly Loveless was scandalised.

  “Mimboland na Mimboland,” said Britney.

  Lilly Loveless nodded: It said it all.

  “Anyway,” Britney continued, “Rebecca’s pregnancy was about three months old and she had not yet informed Richie. One day she gathered courage and told him and they decided to do a D&C, so she could once more be stable and could go about her daily activities and enjoying life unencumbered.”

  “Interesting,” said Lilly Loveless, more to herself than to Britney. “In Comfort’s case abortion vehemently rejected, but readily accepted in Rebecca’s case. What accounts for these di
fferent attitudes?” She spoke out as she wrote in her notebook.

  Noticing that the question was not addressed to her, Britney continued with her story. “Rebecca was faithful in her relationship, but Richie was not. He went out with a girl in their school called Annette. During his 17th birthday party there was a quarrel and a fight. Rebecca could not bear seeing him cheat on her because she had a jealous mind. She never wanted him to talk to any girl. So she was totally devastated when she realised that he had something to do with Annette. Rebecca could not feel free because she was not a ‘bed sharer’ with any other girl. She had become so close to Richie that her school life was affected. She loved him and always wanted him to be near her. And when he was good he was really good. At times, he went to Sawang and brought his father’s car and took her together with her friends to the beach. Rebecca did not believe there could be anyone more than Richie ever.

  “They were both at school, but Richie was better able to combine what they did with studies, while Rebecca repeatedly failed her exams. The more time she spent away from class, the greater she failed. Richie would take her to all the nightclubs around, enjoy life, and yet pass his exams when he sat them. For Rebecca the story would be failure, however hard she tried to make up. Studying for exams was like the ‘callé callé’ of her life, and some of her friends would laugh at her behind her back by saying things such as: ‘Who needs brains when you’ve got tits?’

  “So you can imagine how she felt when she failed the GCE and Richie passed. He organised a party but she did not bother attending.

  “Things got worse when she discovered that she was pregnant yet again. She had a light fever and was vomiting. So she went for a pregnancy test. The results of which were positive. But she was not having things her way this time. Richie, her ‘jackpot,’ did not have money to afford her another D&C. He tried to play games with his parents in the hope of getting some money, to no avail. His aunt later got wind of the pregnancy, called for Rebecca and told her not to do away with the child. With no money forthcoming, Rebecca reported the matter to her uncle who was the assistant commissioner of police, and Richie was locked up.”

  “Locked up?!” interrupted Lilly Loveless, looking up from her notebook.

  “Yep, behind bars. News reached his parents and they were very angry because they petted him so much. At last Richie was released and a hundred and fifty thousand Mim dollars were given to Rebecca to start preparations for delivery. Instead Rebecca took the money and bought ‘boutique shoes’, expensive clothes and used the rest to visit a traditional doctor for concoctions to do away with the pregnancy. There was no mistaking or compromising her priorities. Yet the foetus refused to cooperate. It did not come out. She pretended to be attending antenatal classes after this failed attempt.

  “After about six months and two weeks of pregnancy, she fell ill and was taken to hospital where she miscarried. Then it was discovered that she had administered some concoctions which affected the baby.”

  Lilly Loveless pointed to a colourful butterfly that had just landed on Britney’s knee, now crossed over the other. Superstitious, Britney shooed it away and continued.

  “Rebecca’s and Richie’s names were headline news in local newspapers, including The Talking Drum. Then she was forced to change colleges, because she could not bear the way friends and others in the community would burn her with their eyes.

  “Distance and problems have made the relationship between Richie and Rebecca drift apart and peter out. She is still struggling to pass her O Level GCE, but she refuses to give up on the ‘high classes which Richie brought out in her.”

  Lilly Loveless lifted her head and took in the variety of flowers around them. There was a lone student or couple that wandered by from time to time on one of the crisscrossing paths through the gardens. Lilly Loveless wondered about their stories, and resolved to dig up as much as possible from the stacks of newspapers and magazines in the Archives, with the assistance of Prince Anointed. A strange thought crossed her mind: What would a married woman do with flowers offered her by a secret lover at a secret meeting place like this? Take them home? No way! Dump them somewhere in the nearby bushes? More like it. She smiled. Marriage and formal relationships do take their toll on a woman’s freedom to express and explore her sexuality and happiness, don’t they? This was not the time to ask Britney for an opinion, but she would have to one of these days, as it was part of her work to understand the cultural dimensions of sex, power and consumerism in Mimboland.

  As she prepared to ask Britney if she knew the name of one of the particularly beautiful orange flowers, Britney started sharing her third interview. She continued to fill the ears of Lilly Loveless who in turn filled her notebook, as butterflies celebrated their presence in the company of the singing birds in the trees.

  8

  Lulu was as pretty as the hair she made. Her salon – Lulu Coiffure – was the most popular in the whole of Puttkamerstown. The words ‘A Woman’s Hair Is Her Crowning Glory’ were boldly inscribed on a beautiful signboard of a lovely variety of hairdos eloquently captured by the artist who designed it.

  It was to Lulu that Britney sent Lilly Loveless when the latter decided she needed to revamp her looks by braiding her hair.

  Lulu was as artful a braider as she was with other hairdos. She insisted in handling Lilly Loveless herself, while her three apprentices attended to other clients. Lilly Loveless took pleasure in knowing her curls would soon be transformed into lovely braids. She watched cars, motorbikes or bendskins, bicycles and people on foot headed to and from the market pass by in front of the open salon door. And she checked Lulu’s progress occasionally in the mirror.

  “Is it to keep the humidity off your equipment?” she asked, indicating the metal box where Lulu kept her combs and scissors.

  “Na for steriliz-am, whiteman-woman. Man no di know,” replied Lulu assuredly.

  Lilly Loveless’s pidgin was not the best despite the intensive lessons she continued to take, but she understood what Lulu said, although she couldn’t figure out why Lulu kept calling her ‘whiteman-woman’, as if she didn’t know her name or felt that a white woman needs a man to be visible. She refused to make an issue of it, but made a mental note in the interest of her research. She noticed the electrical cord hanging from the box, in a dusty loop against the wall.

  “A sterilizer that needs to be plugged in just a couple of times a year,” she said, half question, half trying to convince herself, nodding her head saying, “I see.”

  “Wheti you see?”

  Lilly Loveless ignored the question by asking her own. “What do women say is the reason why they come to do their hair?”

  “Foseeka I be the best for Puttkamerstown.”

  “I know you are the best. But what other reasons bring them here?”

  “They fit congosai for here as they like, no one day I go open my mop tell some man.”

  “I mean, why do women do their hair?”

  “Dat you question foolish plenty. Why you di chop?”

  After making Lilly Loveless look stupid, Lulu proceeded to tell her that although some silly men believe that women do their hair in order to be “like a web to trap every male heart”, the simple truth is that “a woman’s beauty lies in her hair”, and women are beautiful first and foremost for themselves and for fellow women. If a woman spends half of her time in front of a mirror or at the hairdresser’s to do her hair, no man but her deserves to take the credit for that. Lulu was adamant. Hair engineers like her are there to accentuate a woman’s beauty with magical results, make her feel good within herself and to other women, and if this flatters men in the process, it is most certainly by accident, and not cause for celebration. Their duty is and remains to make women feel confident and beautiful for their own pleasure and to take pride in their outward appearance. Until men start seeing with the eyes of their hearts and feeling with their minds, would they understand that the world is larger and richer than that which their manhood is able
to erect? Doing hair, to women, is really more about being comfortable, not about being sexy. She then told Lilly Loveless why Mimbo women like long hair. She said long hair adds beauty. For Mimbo women who cannot have very long hair like that of Muzungu women, and who admire very long hair, the alternative is to turn to artificial hair to meet this desire. As a hairdresser, it is her duty to advise her clients that some ‘beautiful’ styles can only be possible with long or thick hair, and to encourage women with short or sparse hair to go for artificial hair, which helps in giving them the hair style they want.

  “What causes short or scanty hair?” Lilly Loveless asked.

  Lulu explained that sparsely populated hair could be genetic, but it could also result from constant application of chemical products damaging to the hair roots. Again, very cold weather causes hair breakage, and makes the hair fall off. These mishaps make women very uneasy with their hair.

  Satisfied with what she saw in the mirror, Lilly Loveless extended a few Mim dollars to Lulu, thanked her, and stopped a taxi for the Archives where Britney was waiting for her. Seated in the back on the passenger side she felt her derriere absorbing something that smelt fishy. She glided to the other side behind the driver to avoid the moisture and figured that her brown print tunic over brown jeans wouldn’t reveal whatever stains she may have picked up. That was what you got when taxis, for a few more Mim dollars, were indiscriminate between butchers transporting freshly slaughtered beef and normal passengers. She dismissed the thought that the wetness might just have come from a woman surprised by her period. She arrived at the Archives just after 11.00 am.

  “Lovely Lilly,” exclaimed Prince Anointed when he saw her, “What lovely long braids you’ve got there! You look like an African princess.” He laughed his last laugh with his missing front teeth, as he had an appointment with a dentist shortly after, the first in 30 years, thanks to the generous gift of Mim$200,000 by Lilly Loveless.