Married But Available

by B. Nyamnjoh

  Lilly Loveless felt the pressure let up when the woman brought her hands around to the front of her waist and stopped at something bulky. Lilly Loveless lifted her blouse to reveal a cell phone clipped to the waistline of her trousers, a clear sign she had gone native, as no Muzungu woman would ordinarily ever wear her cell phone on her waist. It was the case six months ago that, like other Muzungu women, she would make merciless fun of men who wore their cell phones in this way. She would also instinctively have known that she had to take off her cell phone before going through the x-ray machine. The uniformed woman continued her search down to both ankles, stood up, winked and nodded to let Lilly Loveless know she was free to go.

  As Lilly Loveless put her laptop back into its bag, she wondered if the woman was just going through her routines or if she was finding ways to relish the routine. Full of many more questions and few answers after months in Mimboland, Lilly Loveless followed the signs to the gate indicated on her boarding pass.

  Once seated in the plane, she made her last phone calls, starting first with Bobinga Iroko. She thanked him again and again for all the support she received during her stay, and especially for being a very good friend. “You must come and visit me in Muzunguland,” she insisted, promising to watch out for opportunities for him to come for seminars or conferences, or to apply for fellowships. “When you come, you must tell me your own story”, she insisted. “You say there should at least be one secret in Mimboland, which I am not taking back to Muzunguland. My question to you is: “Why should that story be that of my best friend in Mimboland? Aren’t friends supposed to share secrets?” She laughed. “How many of my own secrets have I told you?” She giggled. “How many of them have I not told you?” She laughed when Bobinga Iroko told her of the half full box of condoms she forgot in the car. “No, I didn’t forget them,” she said. “I left them just in case you need them…” The conversation went on for 20 minutes, then she said farewell, promising to email and phone. She barely had enough airtime left to ask him to give Britney her love.

  As soon as she stopped phoning, Lilly Loveless looked up and recognised Yoyette, the stewardess she flew out with six months ago. Yoyette noticed her and came over. They were both pleasantly surprised by the coincidence. They exchanged news and Lilly Loveless promised to tell Yoyette more about her research and stay in Mimboland, in the course of the flight.

  A delay in take off made Lilly Loveless ask: “What’s the problem? Why are we not taking off?”

  “Because there’s a problem closing the bulkhead, so they have to take out the luggage and put it back again,” explained Yoyette.

  “Actually, I just saw someone running up to the plane with a screwdriver,” said Lilly Loveless, looking out of the window.

  “Good,” said Yoyette. “Then they’re probably screwing it up,” she added and walked down the aisle to continue getting the plane ready for take off.

  ***

  Lilly Loveless remembered the envelope Prince Anointed gave her. Her curiosity surged.

  She hurriedly opened the envelope and saw a newspaper clipping from The Talking Drum. The article, titled: “In Sickness and In Health”, was over six years old.

  “Why did Prince Anointed give me this?” Lilly Loveless asked herself, then started reading:

  ‘Growing up in Sakersbeach, Loveline developed a passion for nature very early in life. She loved the beach and adored walking in the gardens. Amid the rough and tumble of bubbly Sakersbeach, Loveline could hardly see what the future held for her, but she was determined to succeed in life. She was a natural beauty. Her streamlined body, trendy long legs, ebony complexion and bedroom eyes could as well have constituted a liability and a distraction to her high objectives, but her brains were there to steer her through very trying moments.

  ‘It took all the fortitude Loveline could muster to complete her studies at the University of Mimbo where beauty could be both a blessing and a curse. With her brains and determination, at 22 she graduated with a degree in Accounting after the statutory period of three years, and two years later found a job with a newly opened bank by the God’s Soldiers of Capital Church.

  ‘That was where she first met 28 years old Godlove, a journalist and stringer for several Muzungu news services. Godlove had come to open an account. With a Masters in Journalism from the renowned Pulitzer University of Muzunguland, Godlove was thought to have made a courageous and patriotic decision to return to work and live in Mimboland in spite of more attractive pastures elsewhere.

  ‘As he waited for the paper work to open the account, Godlove could not take his inquisitive large eyes off Loveline who was talking to another customer. Even his oversized ears seemed resolutely determined to capture any sound she made. She must have noticed his endless staring and neck stretching, but she paid no attention. This happened all the time, the eyes of men desperately and shamelessly feeding off her looks without her permission. But this was to turn out to be the chanced meeting that marked the beginning of a serious relationship.

  ‘Godlove carried the mental image of Loveline home with him. He did his homework, gathering every piece of information he could on Loveline, and what he learned so impressed him that by the time he had managed to extract a first date from her, he had fallen hopelessly in love with Loveline.

  ‘Their date was at the beach, and Godlove was glad to read meaning into the fact that Loveline had come unaccompanied. She yielded effortlessly to his overtures for a conversation and they talked for hours, about their likes and dislikes, their dreams and disappointments, the future. They talked like people who had known each other for long, and like children nourished with fairy tales. By the end of that outing there was a mutual desire to see each other again and again. Soon, they lingered over seeing each other, drawing sustenance from the energy of loving and being loved. Godlove cared about Loveline’s good and friendly nature and she was captivated by his height, elegance, humour and dark skin which complemented so eloquently her ebony complexion. One thing led to another. Soon, they started seeing big, planning big, thinking absolutes, and submitting to the logic of the heart.

  ‘Godlove’s courtship was impassioned, sincere and inspired by the same Muzunguland classics in matters of the heart that had won him his first love during his student days. He would call and thrill Loveline with his sudden insane creative desires to please. They realised that they shared a lot in common – their love for outdoor games and activities, especially tennis, swimming, beachcombing and simply brightening up the city with the fact of being in love. The two became romantically embedded; they were always together, at the beach, at church, at parties, at nightclubs, they were just inseparable.

  ‘It didn’t take Godlove more than a few months to pop the big question –would Loveline care to spend the rest of her life with him? However much one expects this question, there is always an element of surprise when it is actually posed. This was the same for Loveline, who expressed cautious enthusiasm: “Don’t you think that’s a little rushed? We barely know each other, and the more I know about you the more I feel there is to know.” Loveline loved Godlove, but she found his pace a little ahead of her. Or was it simply the fear that he might change irrecognisably once they were married? She had read and heard and witnessed women complain how much the men they married had fast become strange bedfellows. But Godlove was a man of unyielding resolve, persistence and insistence. Eventually, she was persuaded, reluctantly. It wasn’t always that one came by a man with whom it clicked so well, although it was in her nature not to rush into things.

  ‘The couple decided the day for the exchange of vows would be July 14, to coincide with the day when Loveline was baptized as a baby some 24 years earlier. They decided on the venue as well, the Pentecostal God’s Soldiers of Capital Church in Manawabay, another concession Godlove easily made in spite of his strong feelings for the Presbyterian Church in Pawa-Town where he had worshipped in his childhood with his parents.

  ‘They had only five months to prepare fo
r the big day. There were invitations to send, clothes to buy, a thousand and one things to do. Loveline was nervous. She wanted to choose the trendiest wedding dress, and the perfect shoes to go with it, all imported from Muzunguland where her elder brother was studying and moonlighting to make ends meet. She was lucky to have her bosom childhood friend, Ndolo, by her side and as her chief bride’s maid. There was little time to do all there was to do, but with the help of friends, preparations went so smoothly that everything was in place a week to time.

  ‘Well, almost everything. An important detail was outstanding: Loveline’s bridal gown was still in Muzunguland. Her elder brother, Lambert, a bushfaller, had promised to fly in from Muzunguland with it in time for the wedding. With Loveline’s father dead, Lambert had been designated as the person to give the bride’s hand in marriage, and had offered to make the gown for his sister as his wedding present. So the couple was getting anxious. Lambert had still not called to confirm the date of his arrival. But on July 10, he called Godlove to say he had some problems with his travelling documents, problems that he was just from sorting out. He would be landing at the Sawang International Airport the following day by an Air-Mimbo flight.

  ‘Godlove decided to pick Lambert up from the airport. Loveline insisted on accompanying him despite his efforts to dissuade her.

  ‘Godlove was driving responsibly. Somewhere along the way, it started raining and soon, the downpour was so heavy that it rendered visibility very poor.

  ‘Godlove did not notice an oncoming timber tanker loaded beyond capacity with Bobinga and Iroko until it was only inches away from his car. Impulsively, he turned the steering-wheel to the right hoping to veer off the tanker’s course. The car swerved, but the tanker hit its rear end, violently. The impact of the collision was so great it sent Godlove’s Toyota Corolla crashing down a ravine. The tanker skidded off the road and came to a halt some twenty yards away. Its occupants – the driver and his motor boy, got out and rushed to the rescue of the passengers in the smaller vehicle.

  ‘Both were unconscious. Godlove was pulled out first. He was not much hurt thanks to the safety belt. He had a few cuts from shards of broken windshield. It was more difficult getting Loveline out of the wrecked car. Her right leg was caught between the door and the stump of a tree and part of the weight of the car rested on it. She was also losing much blood.

  ‘They were rushed to the nearest hospital where they were given urgent attention. Godlove came round after a few hours and asked to be discharged so he could go around arranging for Loveline’s evacuation, and to inform family and friends of what had happened. Loveline was still in bad shape.

  ‘Arrangements were promptly made for Loveline’s transfer to a private orthopaedic surgeon in Sawang. Mekemewel was a very sympathetic doctor who took great interest in the physical and mental state of his patients. He had operated upon hundreds of patients with the most intractable bone damages and had come off with wonderfully edifying results, some of which were qualified as near miracles.

  ‘Loveline’s case, however, proved very difficult. That morning Doctor Mekemewel invited Godlove into his office. “I know how much you love your wife-to-be, but we must act fast in her interest. We’ve got only eight hours to carry out a knee-down amputation or risk a complication.” Godlove was alarmed. He fought back hot tears. “I don’t mean to question your competence Doctor, but you mean absolutely nothing can be done to save the leg?”

  ‘Doctor Mekemewel shook his head, got up and placed a hand on Godlove’s shoulder. “I have always made it a policy to do all I can to patch up a broken arm or leg because I know how greatly people value their beauty. When I looked at your wife’s beautiful face, it caused me great pain to know nothing can be done to give her back her leg. Her entire tibia was shattered with the bone buried inside flesh. All the marrow has leaked too. An amputation is always the last resort. I’m sorry. You have to sign these.”

  ‘He handed Godlove several forms. Godlove wept. It all seemed like a bad dream to him. Only a few hours ago they were a happy and wholesome couple with so much joie de vivre. They were so full of life, savouring its most intricate pleasures but now they were so empty that they would be lucky to find their happiness again. Godlove was still sobbing when Loveline’s mother, her brother Lambert and her friend Ndolo came in. It was a moment of emotional let-go.

  ‘When everyone calmed down, Loveline’s mother asked to see her daughter. They were let in, but Loveline had still not regained consciousness so it made no difference whether they stayed or left. Godlove drew their attention to the forms he had been asked to sign and would have gladly let someone else take the responsibility. Lambert refused, saying Godlove was best placed to sign, as Loveline was all but his wife.

  ‘Loveline’s first hospital days were nerve-wrenching. When she realised her leg had been amputated, she was disconsolate. She wept for days on end and refused to eat. She needed strong sedatives to send her to sleep each night. But gradually she resigned herself to her fate. She also enjoyed great support from family and friends. Godlove was risking his job to keep her company. He was always by her side and occasionally, when she cried, he could not stop himself from crying too. He showered her with flowers, presents and love, reassuring her they would be alright and just as happy again. Ndolo was always by her friend. She did much of the cooking, helped clean up her friend and read comforting stories to boost her morale. Lambert stayed for two weeks and had to go back to Muzunguland, as work and studies beckoned. Loveline’s mother was asked to leave so the crying would lessen.

  ‘When Loveline left the hospital, she chose to do her rehabilitation in Pawa-Town where she could spend time in the company of her aunt. Godlove would visit her on weekends, staying with her from Friday to Sunday. Then he would drive back to Sakersbeach.

  ‘Life became very different for Godlove. Whenever he got back home, he would lock himself indoors and would not go out again.

  ‘After two months of living this way, the full force of his loneliness threatened to overwhelm him. His health was also waning and he was losing interest in life. He would not go swimming and would not play tennis because doing these things made him think of Loveline.

  ‘When Loveline eventually came back to Sakersbeach, it didn’t improve the situation. If anything, it made Godlove lonelier than ever. Loveline sulked endlessly, and grew very moody. Godlove spent his days by her side trying to comfort her. He was by nature an outdoors man and his new lifestyle trying.

  ‘Godlove also discovered that something had changed in his feelings for Loveline. Where he had experienced strong passionate love, he now found empathy and brotherly affection, almost pity. Instead of the delight that bedtime used to be, it became endless hours of remonstration and guilt.

  ‘One evening when Ndolo came to visit, Godlove offered to take her back in his car. On the way he offered her a drink and they started talking. Godlove poured out his soul: “I don’t feel its right to get married out of pity, Ndolo. I’m afraid I no longer know what I feel for Loveline. You know how it used to be with us, but things are no longer the same. Loveline is making it even more difficult for me. She keeps saying she is not half the woman she used to be and it is killing me. I understand what she is going through, but I can’t go on living like this.”

  ‘Ndolo went home that day knowing that her friend’s wedding wouldn’t be very soon. She felt she understood Godlove’s feelings but she felt strongly for her friend too. Whatever was the case, she decided she would let Godlove know that it was not the moment to relinquish his support because Loveline’s mind was still very fragile. Ndolo decided she would talk to Godlove the following day.

  ‘He wasn’t in his office when she called, but he had left a note asking anyone who wished to see him to call at the Manawabay Bar where he would be spending break time. She found him at a loner’s corner sipping his drink. She noticed without comment the fact that he was drinking beer, something he had vowed never to do because he didn’t want to be like
every other man in Mimboland.

  ‘Godlove offered her a drink that she accepted. Ndolo couldn’t find the right words to address her thoughts without hurting Godlove, so she just sat there staring at the handsome guy who looked downcast and she wished she could cheer him up.

  “You see, Ndolo, I no longer go home during break. I come here to drink and talk to myself like a mad man.”

  The soft, enchanting voice of Grace Decca asking for “a little love – ndolo” filtered through from the Hi-fi sound system behind the bar.

  “Want to dance?” Godlove invited Ndolo with his prominent eyes. She obliged and Godlove held her close and felt warmth. He could feel her heart pounding hard against his yearning ribs. He kissed her. She tried to resist, but he held her firmly.

  “This is not right Godlove!”

  “I know Ndolo. But some of life’s greatest pleasures are not right.”

  ‘Then he kissed her again, this time tenderly, passionately, longingly. Ndolo let her mind journey into the realm of seductive surrender. She did not try to resist. She told herself in the excited silence of her thoughts: One thing about time is that it passes never to return. It cannot be recalled, run after or overtaken. You can choose to use, misuse or completely waste it. But you can never bring it back. Her options had never been clearer.

  “Godlove … Godlove …”

  “Call me Bobinga Iroko, from now on. I need the combined strength of the best Bobinga and Iroko from the heart of the rainforest to face the fact that the Godlove in me is no more…”

  “So that is how he came to be called Bobinga Iroko” Lilly Loveless murmured, perplexed. “What a story! I see why he didn’t want to tell me… Where would he begin? Such a sad, traumatizing experience… Poor Godlove… I wonder what became of Loveline… Ndolo…. Love… Getting personal information from Bobinga Iroko is like trying to pound water with a pestle… I should send Prince Anointed an email to sniff around for more about this intriguing man…”