by Kira Blakely
“Maybe separate rooms would be a good idea,” Chuck suggested but he retreated at the dark glance Jude shot him. “Fine, fine. Let’s get this meeting over with. You have three interviews to get to after this.”
Cameras flashed in our direction. I glanced over to find a swarm of media outside of the windows, so I quickly took my bags up to Jude’s hotel suite with the bell hop. This suite was even bigger than the one back in Austin. The entire fourth floor was dedicated to its sprawling living room, master bedroom and bath, and a large kitchen with a dining room table.
I sat down at the dining room table and pulled out my computer to check through emails, while Jude and Chuck went through their day of interviews. Damage control was what I sensed from Chuck’s bad mood. Separate rooms did sound like a good idea, but I didn’t dare bring that up to Jude when he returned later that afternoon, visibly exhausted from all the camera attention.
“How about you and I hit the strip tonight?” he suggested, loosening the buttons of his shirt at his neck. “I could use some gambling to get relaxed for tomorrow night.”
He leaned in to press a quick kiss to my lips before retreating to the master bedroom. I closed my computer with a sigh. The draft I had sent off to Andrew had already been approved. They were going to edit a clip of it to do as a teaser in tomorrow’s paper. This was the last exhibition of the circuit before the Games, and I couldn’t be more relieved by it.
“I don’t think so,” I said, tucking my computer back into its carrying case. “I need some downtime from all this traveling. You can go if you want to, though. It’s your money.”
Jude appeared shirtless in the bedroom doorway then. I swallowed thickly at the sight of his muscular chest, covered in tattoos. His casual pants hung at his hips teasingly as he walked toward me with a frown.
“What is it?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly. “Nothing is wrong. I’m just tired.”
He twisted my chair around effortlessly to grab me, trapping me against my chair as he leaned down to look me straight in the eye. My heart pounded in my chest as his eyes narrowed at me in disbelief.
“Something isn’t right,” he commented. “You are a horrible liar, Ava. You can’t keep a straight face worth anything.”
Just tell him the truth, Ava. Tell him that you’re fucking terrified of losing him out there in the arena the way you lost Andy.
I reached up to cradle Jude’s shaven face in my hands. It didn’t feel right to ask him to give up the one thing that he’d worked his entire life for. He had poured everything into his career to get away from his family and to get as far away as possible from his past. I couldn’t ask him to give any of that up because I was afraid of losing him.
But I was afraid to watch it happen all over again.
Instead, I knew what I had to do. I had to leave after tonight. I had to publish what I wrote earlier, after flicking through articles about Jude all over the Internet to fulfill what I promised him. I didn’t want any of Jude’s money. I just wanted him, but his success would always keep a void between us. I didn’t want the two of us starting a relationship off with him giving up his successful career.
“Ava?” Jude’s hand was trailing down my cheek as he gazed down at me in concern. “What’s going on inside that pretty little head of yours?”
“Nothing,” I whispered. “Just kiss me.”
He didn’t hesitate to press his lips up against mine. A part of me rationalized that this was not a good idea. Walking away after this would make me the shitty asshole in the situation but I pushed those thoughts away to concentrate on the feeling of Jude’s lips gliding along mine in a deep kiss that sent shockwaves through me.
He tugged me out of the chair to wrap his arms around my waist. We walked backward blindly into the privacy of the bedroom, even though we had the entire suite to ourselves. I poured every ounce of my tumultuous emotions into those kisses while I pushed his pants and boxers down past his muscular thighs. I smoothed a hand up his thighs, relishing in the hard muscle that flexed against my touch.
I concentrated on the feeling of Jude’s hands brushing through my hair tenderly, before undressing me quickly as well. I shimmied out of my leggings and underwear while backing up to the large bed in the center of the room. His body brushed up against mine, and I gladly tangled myself around him as our kisses picked up with passion. I ran my hands down every square inch of Jude’s back to feel those hard muscles beneath his hot skin. I let my eyes close at the sensation of his erection sliding into me, deep and hard. I listened intently to every breath and moan that escaped Jude’s mouth as he bucked against me.
I didn’t want to forget it. I didn’t want to forget this incredible feeling of being so close to a man that every single female in the world wanted to be close to. I knew him, though. I knew how he enjoyed rough sex but also the foreplay. I stored all these intimate details in the back of my mind while I hooked my arms around Jude’s shoulders to pull him closer, to pull him deeper into me.
The new depth stoked something in me that I’d never felt before. It sent fiery sparks through my entire system. Jude adjusted his arms around me to cradle my head with his hand. His other hand slid beneath my right ass cheek to grip me there. He pulled all the way back to slam into me hard again. He ground his hips against mine before pulling back to do it again. He repeated it, over and over, until I was thrashing underneath him from the tumult of sensations going through me.
Tears filled my eyes. Not from pain. From the pleasure of it. Because I wanted him to stop before my heart burst open. Because I didn’t want him to stop as he took me higher and higher into a dark oblivion that I never wanted to come down from. This would be the last time we were together. I had to memorize everything that I could before tomorrow night, because I would be on a plane, flying back to Gypsum.
I only prayed that Jude would understand that I couldn’t sit idle in the arena for the rest of my life, watching him risk his life for a few more minutes of fame. Not after watching him crash to the ground. Not after what happened to Andy.
Chapter 21
Jude
Something was different about the sex this time. I gazed down at Ava to watch her eyebrows furrow in concentration. Her cheeks were flushed a pretty pink color from our lovemaking. It was as though she was memorizing details, soaking in the moment. I dug my fingers into her ass cheek as I slammed into her again. She let out a throaty moan of pleasure. Her neck arched back, and I took the opportunity to nibble there, the way she liked.
Those inner muscles contracted and squeezed down on me. I pounded into that flesh as hard as I possibly could without teetering over the edge, but the pressure of it was too much. I released with a grunt before collapsing down on top of her, barely catching myself on my elbows so that I wouldn’t crush her. I could feel the pounding of her heart against my bare chest.
We laid there for a long moment as night creeped in through the windows. Neither one of us moved from the tangle of our limbs. It wasn’t long before I felt Ava’s breath even out as she drifted off to sleep. The previous night, we had spent it making love whenever we both woke at the same time.
Exhaustion tugged at me, too, but I held off to watch Ava’s breasts rise and fall steadily in her sleep. I didn’t want to drift away just yet, with her body exposed so beautifully in the dark—all soft curves and smooth skin. She was exquisite. Nothing fake about her. I would never be able to love another woman the way I loved Ava. The realization hit me as I pressed a kiss to the side of Ava’s head before tucking the blankets around her naked body. I made sure to set the alarm for tomorrow morning and then settled into bed next her. I draped an arm around her waist to her pull her close. Sleep took me the second that I closed my eyes.
The arena in Las Vegas was nuts as usual. I scanned the arena seats with interest. Every single seat was occupied. We had a full house tonight, from what Chuck had gleefully told me the second the bus had pulled up to the arena.
<
br /> The energy was intense as I pulled on my padded gear to grab my helmet from where it was seated on the bike. Three years ago, I had been at the back of the entrance as a nobody. No one knew my name. I barely had a hundred dollars in my bank account to cover the costs of everything. I was at the front of the line now at the entrance, while I half-listened to the announcer do his usual spiel about the merchandise being sold in the parking lot and to purchase the Games tickets while they were still relatively cheap. It was going to be an action-packed exhibition, with no one besides me and a few other racers in the entrance.
“There are going to be even more sponsors there,” Chuck was telling me excitedly from where he stood next to me. “Think about it, kid. You’re going all the way to the top this year. I can feel it.”
“Yeah, that’s great,” I muttered, pulling on my helmet to fasten the clips under my chin. “Where is Ava?”
Chuck sighed. “I don’t know. Does it matter?”
“It matters to me,” I snapped, scanning the crowds in the entrance. “Make sure that she gets to the arena okay. I don’t like the idea of her taking a cab out here in Las Vegas by herself.”
I swung a leg over the seat of my bike to sit down in preparation for my first run. My wrist ached horribly from two nights ago, but I focused on the stunts I planned to do while I was out there. Something that would really get the crowd cheering. Something to show Ava that I wasn’t just some stupid little kid hoping to pull off big air. I was a trained professional now. I knew what the fuck I was doing. I was in my element.
I couldn’t help the unease in my stomach, though. Something had been very different about the night before. I wasn’t sure if it was the realization of my own feelings for her, or if it was something else. Ava had insisted on staying behind to finish up an article earlier in the morning when we both rose, well before our alarms. We drank coffee together and watched the sun rise above the city skyline. She promised to be at the arena before the show started but I couldn’t spot her through the crowds streaming around the entrance while I waited for my cue to race out first.
“Your career is at a real turning point.” Chuck grasped my shoulder to gain my attention. “I’m serious, JJ. You are nearly at the top of this sport. Your brand is selling hot out there.”
“What’s your point?” I asked. “I’m aware. I’ve seen the same numbers you’ve seen.”
“I’m just saying that you should be careful about the decisions you make after Las Vegas. As in, don’t worry about what Ava James is doing too much. She’s a grown ass woman. She can find her way around here.”
Anger rushed through me, but I couldn’t say anything. Not with the flash of cameras and fans all around me. I didn’t want my personal life smeared across the headlines even more than it already was. I revved up the engine when I heard the announcer call out my name. I drove around the arena for my usual routine, while scanning the lower seats for the press and for private members only. Nothing. I couldn’t find Ava anywhere in the sea of people.
I pulled up to the starting line with a pounding heart. I flexed my stiff wrist to work the kinks out of it, while I tried to keep focus on the counter in front of me. There had to be a reason for Ava’s absence, or she was somewhere I couldn’t see. That little thought was comforting as I took off for the first hill when the green light flashed for me to go.
I couldn’t focus, no matter how hard I tried. It was impossible because I constantly wanted to search the crowd for Ava. The only thing that seemed to go right for me was my muscles remembering how to do the stunts. I was on autopilot while I drove around the arena, completely numb to what was going on around me. My wrist ached horribly by the time I drove back around for a victory lap. Chuck was practically dancing in excitement when I pulled back into the entrance.
“Good fucking job, man,” he said, thumping his hand on my helmet. “Good riding. Very good riding.”
“Where’s Ava?” I asked.
Chuck didn’t get a chance to answer. A swarm of fans excitedly surrounded me for photographs and autographs. I tried my best to get through the next couple of hours with the meet and greet, along with an interview on live television. I couldn’t blow my fans off, even if it was tempting to rush outside to the bus to see if Ava was there like I hoped. I forced a smile on my face every single time a fan came up to me.
After making sure that the bikes got locked up in the trailer, I darted up the bus steps to find it dark and empty. The bunks were empty. My back bedroom was empty as well. I pulled my phone out to call Ava’s number while fans surrounded my bus, with Chuck trying to steer them in the opposite direction. After six rings, my call went straight to her voicemail.
“It’s me,” I said, glancing at the clock above the small kitchen sink. It was just after midnight. “I hope you are asleep at the hotel because I couldn’t find you out here tonight. Give me a call if you get this message or wake up to it. I’ll be at the hotel in a few minutes.”
Chuck climbed up into the bus as I pocketed my phone. He shut the bus door behind him to block out the frenzy of cameras that followed him.
“It looks like I’m driving Big Bertha to the hotel tonight,” he said. “Our driver retired for the night at the hotel after I told him we would take a cab back.”
“Hold on a second,” I said, pulling the shades up to look outside. Camera flashes nearly blinded me in the process. “You’re positive that Ava didn’t come to the arena tonight, right?”
“Positive.”
I sat down on the edge of the couch while Chuck started up the bus to pull out of the parking lot. I didn’t hear a damn word Chuck said the entire time he drove back to the hotel. Blabbering away about more sponsors after returning to Chicago for a brief break. There wouldn’t be a break for me, though. Not until I figured out where the hell Ava was.
I didn’t even wait for Chuck to park the bus. I jumped out when he slowed down in front of the hotel to hurry through the quiet lobby in the direction of the elevators. I waited impatiently for the doors to open before jamming my thumb into the fourth button. My heart pounded anxiously in my chest the entire time. I knew she wouldn’t be there, even if I didn’t want to believe it.
The lights were off when I pushed the door open. I clicked them on. Anger coursed through me as I walked through the hallway to the master bedroom to click on the lights there. Nothing. Ava’s suitcase was gone. Her purse. Her personal belongings that had been spilled on the bathroom counter this morning. Her laptop was gone from the dining room table. Gone.
I sank down into the chair that Ava had been sitting in earlier that morning. The maids had come through the room to clean because I no longer could smell her sweet vanilla perfume. I pulled out my phone to call, but it went to voicemail again. I texted her this time. Where the hell did you go? Is this honestly how you want to play this out? Wtf, Ava?
Minutes ticked by until it was two in the morning when I checked my phone. The text message had been delivered but not read. I decided to call down to the front desk, just to make sure that she had left of her own free will.
“She left around eleven this morning, sir,” the clerk told me. “That’s when my staff members noted that she had left the room, but you were still checked in. She took a cab from what I was told.”
I set the phone down after thanking the clerk for the information. It occurred to me that our night before had felt different because Ava knew ahead of time that she was going to leave me. She had planned this all along. I grabbed the phone from the table and tossed it angrily at the wall. She had planned to leave me all along.
Chapter 22
Ava
The sound of my parents’ voices talking quietly downstairs over their morning coffee echoed up through the floorboards of my room. They were trying to be quiet. I had called them from the airport a few hours away to tell them that I was coming home in a rental car so they wouldn’t freak out when they heard the front door open.
I didn’t dare keep my phone on throughou
t the night. I didn’t want to hear Jude’s harsh words because I already felt like shit. He was right, though. I was the fucked-up one. I couldn’t get over Andy’s death. Seeing it…
How could he expect me to get over it, though? While watching those stunts of his, day in and day out? I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand the sound of those fans cheering him on. There were camera flashes all the time. It was a bunch of fantasy and bullshit. They didn’t understand how it felt to watch someone die pulling one of those stunts they all loved to watch so much.
I pulled the blanket over my head with the intention of falling back to sleep after a weeks’ worth of fighting with Jude, traveling around… and the sex, too. My stomach twisted pleasantly at the thought. I would miss that for the rest of my life. Jude had an effect on my body that I didn’t even understand.
The smell of coffee brewing from downstairs drew me out of bed an hour later. I passed by Andy’s room—his door forever shut as usual. I rested my fingers against the cold wood. This was the reason why I had to get away from Jude. I couldn’t stand another room full of dust and stale air in my life because of those tricks.
I spent the next week avoiding Jude’s phone calls and text messages, even though I knew he would eventually figure out where I had gone. Guilt lodged in my stomach as the anger in his text messages eventually changed to sadness. Then, nothing. It was a full week of silence before my phone finally went quiet as well. The only time I picked it up was when Andrew called me from New York to inform me that he was cutting me from his writing team.
“I can still write it, though,” I said, blinking back tears. “Please, Andrew. I just had to get away from it all. That’s all I’m doing right now.”
Andrew sighed heavily into the phone. “Ava, I just got a threatening email from Chuck Ambrose telling me that you breached the contract by leaving. I can’t have this type of shit on me right now. I can’t weather it like some other papers can.”