The Healer: First Touch

by Amy Clapp

  "Evie, don't."

  "I mean you and Jamie looked pretty close to each other, holding hands and all, having breakfast together. I, of course, just assumed you were more then friends."

  "We are just friends," I muttered through clenched teeth. I was mentally counting to myself trying to remain calm.

  "Friends who hold hands and kiss," Evie scoffed, flipping her long hair behind her with her hand.

  "That's a lie." My eyes narrowed accusingly.

  "That's not what I heard," Evie spoke softly toward Varick.

  "We have to go." I knew if I didn't leave soon I would be doing something I would regret.

  "Well, if you get tired of Jacey's cheating ways, you can give me a call. She knows how to get a hold of me." Evie blinked flirtatiously at Varick.

  Varick just nodded.

  "Let's go," I said, pulling Varick into the elevator. The elevator's door shut, leaving Evie standing in the hall. As the elevator fell to the lobby, I looked at Varick. He just laughed.

  -Twenty-

  It took awhile for the jealousy clouding my vision to dull and finally disappear. Varick found a table by the window so we could eat in the sun. The rays of light fell across me, warming a body that had grown cold with jealousy at Evie's remarks. We sat at the table, eating coconut cream pie. When we finally spoke, the conversation was light and comfortable. Varick was smart not to bring up Evie Tender or her remarks. Thinking of her would automatically make my blood boil with jealousy again.

  Evie always bothered me so those feelings weren't new. But the fierceness of my jealousy did surprise me. The more Evie flirted with Varick, the angrier I became. Although there was a definite connection between me and Varick as Healer and Protector, I did not have any exclusive right to him. We weren't a couple. But as I watched Varick eat his pie, talking casually between his bites, I realized I did want more. I wanted the connection and the exclusivity of a relationship.

  Taking a deep breath, I stuffed a large forkful of pie in my mouth.

  "Are you alright?" Varick asked.

  Swallowing hard, I spoke, "Yes, I'm just a little worried about Evie and the gossip she is going to spread about me and you." I added the last two words for Varick's sake.

  Finishing the last bite of pie on his plate, Varick laughed. "Yeah, she really is something else, isn't she?"

  My eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by that?" I could feel jealousy rearing its ugly head again.

  Varick didn't miss my reaction. Laughing lightly, he placed his hands in front of him defensively. "No, no, no," he said quickly. "I didn't mean in a good way. I meant that she is a bold, gossipy girl, that's all." He laughed as he said the words.

  "Right." I was gripping my fork so tightly that I thought I probably could bend it.

  Varick laughed harder. When he finally settled a bit, he said, "Really, Jacey. There isn't anything to be jealous about. Trust me." His eyes twinkled in the light of the sun. I became distracted by them, immediately feeling less threatened by Evie Tender. I did trust Varick.

  We continued chatting lightly. Whenever Varick and I were together, the world around us faded away, leaving only the two of us. Together. I didn't notice Oma standing next to me, until she spoke.

  "I'm sorry to interrupt, Jacey. You two look like you are enjoying each other's company so, but Cathy has been discharged and I'd like to get her home where she can rest. She is very tired." Oma smiled sweetly at Varick.

  "Oh, Oma," I said, surprised by her presence. "I'm sorry. We totally lost track of time." I grabbed Oma's coffee that I had bought for her. "Your coffee may be cold now. Sorry." I gave Oma a sheepish grin.

  Oma took the cup graciously. "Thanks, honey. We should be going."

  Varick pushed his plate away from him, only crumbs left with the fork. He smiled at me and leaned on his elbows.

  I looked at Oma with pleading eyes. "Could Varick take me home?"

  Oma's smile vanished momentarily. But she recovered it quickly. "Uh, sure, Jacey. Just be careful and don't be too late." She raised her eyebrows at me.

  "I won't be too late, Oma. Promise." I smiled brightly, excited at the possibility of spending a little more time with Varick. Plus, I was in no hurry to get to Cathy's and attempt healing her. I was really afraid I was going to disappoint everyone by not being able to cure her. I knew Varick was sure I would be able to do it, but I wasn't. And I was actually afraid of the healing process itself. The burn that came with it was painful even excruciating at times, much like placing my hand directly in a fire. Because this was terminal cancer, a serious illness, would the pain I felt during the healing be more intense or less? I shuddered at the thought.

  "Jacey?" Oma asked, gently touching my shoulder with her hand.

  "Yes, I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head to clear it. I turned to Varick. "Ready?"

  "Always," he answered, grinning.

  Cathy was sitting in a wheelchair in the lobby waiting to leave. Joanie and Jane were standing next to her holding her vases of flowers and her bag. Cathy gave me a weak smile when she saw us. "I'm ready to go home," she said. "I'm sick and tired of this place."

  I nodded and smiled in return. "When is your next radiation treatment?"

  "Well, they didn't schedule it after all. Instead, they set an appointment with my oncologist for Tuesday morning. I guess they need to treat my cancer a bit more aggressively." Oma patted Cathy's shoulder reassuringly, her eyes filled with sadness as she looked at Cathy.

  "I'll stop by to visit later this evening, maybe after you rest a bit." My throat was dry and scratchy as I spoke.

  "I would like that very much."

  I glanced at Oma, who was smiling proudly. Then I turned to Varick. "Ready?" he asked.

  "Yes," I said. We walked to Varick's motorcycle. Riding it was both exciting and terrifying. I loved watching the world fly past as we sped down the road, the only connection to the pavement a few inches of rubber. I loved how I was totally dependent on Varick and his skill. And I loved the closeness of our bodies as we rode. I stared at the bike, smiling slightly.

  "Here," Varick handed me a black helmet from the back of his bike.

  "Hey, where'd you get this?" I asked, taking the helmet.

  "Your bedroom," Varick answered, grinning rakishly.

  I laughed easily and threw my leg over the motorcycle, hoisting myself up on it.

  Laughing, Varick put his ball cap on backward and placed his helmet over top of it. He started the motorcycle and revved the engine a few times.

  "Hang on," Varick's voice spoke in my ear. I wrapped my arms around his waist. I was very aware of how thin his cotton t-shirt was, his stomach taut and firm under my hands. I was grateful the helmet hid the blush that had deepened across my cheeks.

  With a scream of gears turning and grinding, the motorcycle jerked forward, speeding through the parking lot and out onto the road, where Varick weaved the fast cycle around slower traffic. I leaned in close to Varick, the front of my body pressing on his back. I leaned with him as we turned around a corner.

  "We're just going for a little ride."

  Although we were speeding down the road, the world racing past on either side, I heard his voice clearly in my ears. I closed my eyes and tightened my grip. Instead of turning onto the expressway that would lead us back home to Byron, Varick turned down a rural road. It was paved but had no lines. I felt Varick lean down closer to the bike and I followed, leaning over his back. Varick accelerated and we screamed down the roadway. The landscape blurred into brown, green, and blue. The speed was exhilarating. But I wasn't afraid. I was with Varick and I knew I would be safe with him. Always.

  When we finally pulled into Oma's driveway, the sky was beginning to darken. Oma had the front porch light on waiting for us. She came out onto the front porch as we drove into the driveway.

  Varick leaned the motorcycle gently onto the kickstand and we both climbed off. He took off his helmet, placing it on the seat of the cycle.

  "Can I have my he
lmet back?" he asked, reaching his hand out towards me.

  "You mean my helmet?" I teased, holding it closer to my body.

  Varick smiled, his teeth flashing white in the dim light of evening. He stepped closer to me until his body bumped against the helmet. He was so close, our faces almost touching. With anyone else, I would have taken a couple of steps back. But with Varick, I had to fight the urge to get closer. I kept the helmet tight between us, my fingers gripping the sleek edges.

  Varick's hands came up, softly overtop of my own hands. "Yes," he said quietly, his eyes staring deeply into mine. "Your helmet." His words were almost a whisper.

  "Uh, Jacey. Can you come up here a minute?" Oma called out to us from her place on the front porch.

  I didn't move. I couldn't breathe. The electric current tingled as it passed between us.

  "Jacey?" Oma called again, her voice sounding a bit more urgent.

  I reluctantly tore my eyes away from Varick, and turned to Oma on the porch. "Yeah, just a minute, Oma." As I turned back to Varick, his hands fell away from mine.

  "Sorry about that," I apologized, rolling my eyes.

  "That's alright," Varick chuckled.

  " Thanks for the ride," I said. "And thanks for coming to the hospital. Your presence is calming." I spoke softly and slowly as my eyes fell away from Varick's.

  "My pleasure," Varick responded, sounding like it really was his pleasure to be with me and calm me.

  I started walking back to the porch and to Oma. Varick stayed at his bike, watching me leave.

  "Hey, Varick?" I said, turning to face him.

  "Yeah?"

  "Will you be around later, ya know, when it happens?"

  "Yes, Jacey. I'll be around."

  I returned a smile, knowing that he would be. I could count on that.

  I turned and ran up to Oma on the porch. I knew I wasn't real late, maybe just past suppertime.

  "I've got dinner on the table, just some shepherd's pie I whipped up."

  "Mmmmm, sounds yummy."

  I couldn't help the smile plastered goofily across my face as I glanced back to Varick by his bike.

  Oma looked at me, then to Varick, and back to me. Her smile faded. "Jacey, will you go in and start some coffee for us for dinner. I forgot." Oma gave me a weak smile.

  "Sure," I said, my face crinkled with curiosity at Oma's request. She never forgot to make coffee.

  I made the coffee quickly, dark and rich the way Oma preferred it. The house smelled wonderful, the combination of fresh, warm yeast rolls warming on the stove, mixed with the aromas of hamburger, potatoes, and cheese from the casserole baking in the oven. I grew warm just smelling the yummy comfort food.

  I walked back onto the porch and was just about to call out to Oma, when I stopped abruptly. I grabbed onto the pole of the porch as if I could hide behind it. Oma was no longer on the porch, but she had walked down to where Varick stood by his motorcycle. Although I couldn't hear her, her arms and hands moved dramatically.

  I watched Varick. His hands were shoved into his front pockets. He looked at Oma as she spoke, his face serious. Occasionally, his head would nod stiffly in acknowledgement. Then, Varick glanced toward me. My heart jumped, the beats immediately accelerating. What was Oma saying to him?

  Oma turned back to me, when she noticed Varick's gaze had shifted. A pained grin was on Oma's face as she gave me a short wave.

  I waved back, my mind racing with ideas as to what Oma would want to talk with Varick about without me.

  Varick wasn't smiling. Oma turned back to him and said something else I couldn't hear. Varick just continued to stare at me. Then he reluctantly turned back to Oma, nodded curtly and hopped on his motorcycle. Without even putting his helmet on, he started the motorcycle and left.

  Oma watched him leave, only turning to walk back up to the house when he couldn't be seen any longer. I stared at Oma, confusion covering my face.

  "Coffee smells wonderful, honey. Let's go in and eat."

  "Oma, what was that?"

  Oma continued past me and into the house. "What was what?"

  I followed her, trying hard to remain calm. I didn't want to get angry at Oma. What did she say to Varick? It obviously wasn't good whatever it was. Taking a steadying breath, I tried to remain calm. "Oma, what were you talking to Varick about?"

  Oma pulled out her chair and sat, taking her paper napkin and placing it on her lap. She looked at me, expecting me to sit next to her. I had already placed our dinner on the table. But I didn't sit. Instead, I stood behind my chair, my hands gripping it tightly. I just stared incredulously at Oma.

  "Oma, please. What were you talking to him about?" My voice softened, became almost pleading in sound.

  Oma sighed heavily. "Jacey, please have a seat next to me."

  I pulled the chair out and sat down. I didn't realize how hard I had been gripping the chair until I released. My knuckles were tight and painful as the blood pulsed suddenly back into the bloodless joints.

  Oma looked down at her plate. "Jacey, I just don't want you getting too close to him."

  "Too close? What do you mean?" My voice was edged with suspicion and irritation.

  "I just don't want you falling...in love with him." Oma looked up at me, searching my face. Her face expression drooped, her eyes widening with fear. "Oh, honey. You already have."

  "I don't know what you're talking about. Varick is my Protector, so we're close, but-"

  "But, you have fallen for him. Oh, Jacey," Oma moaned.

  I was confused and angry. Why is this any of Oma's business? I am eighteen years old. I can like anyone I want. So what if I have picked Varick to be that one.

  "And what if I have? It's none of your business." As soon as I said the words, I regretted them. Oma's face filled with sadness and I watched her struggle to control her emotions. "I'm sorry Oma. I do like Varick, a lot. But, I am not in love with him." Not yet, anyway.

  Oma spooned some casserole onto her plate and pushed the dish over to me.

  "Oma what did you say to him?"

  Oma shrugged her shoulders as she pushed her food around on her plate with her fork. "I basically told him to remember his duty is to protect you, that's all."

  "That's all?" I didn't believe her.

  Oma put her fork down on the plate.

  I stared at her until she spoke.

  "I just told him he needed to be careful...with you. That neither of us wanted a repeat of what happened to your mother and father."

  "What?" I asked, stunned by Oma's admission. "Why would you say that to him? How do we have anything to do with what happened to my parents?"

  Oma placed her hand gently on my arm. "Jacey, honey, I just worry about you so much. I don't want anything to happen to you. I'm just worried that history will repeat itself with you and Varick if you get any closer to each other." Oma had a pained look in her eyes as she spoke to me.

  I shook my head in denial. "No, never. Varick would never let anything happen." I could feel my chin begin to quiver as I struggled to prevent the tears from falling.

  Oma rubbed my arm. "I didn't think your father would ever let it happen either."

  I shook my head. "My father didn't let it happen." I knew how they were killed. Varick had told me. Everything happened so quickly, he didn't have time to protect my mother.

  "I just want you to have a normal relationship with a normal guy, that's all."

  "Oma, what part of me is normal? It's not normal to be able to cure illnesses and injuries with your bare hands. But, you want me to be normal?" I scoffed.

  "I want you to be safe," Oma answered softly, removing her hand from my arm.

  "Varick keeps me safe." My voice broke with emotion as I thought of the way Varick had protected me from the frightening attack by the Fury. "You don't understand Oma." I pushed my chair away from the table to stand.

  "Honey, I'm sorry. Aren't you going to eat?"

  "No, I'm not hungry." I stood up to leave the kitc
hen. "I'll be in my room. Let me know when you're ready to go over to Cathy's, so I can heal her." My words were sarcastic. I didn't wait for a response, instead I ran upstairs to the safety and seclusion of my room.

  -Twenty-One-

  I buried my face in my pillow and allowed the tears to dampen the soft pillow case. My frustration at Oma's meddling changed to panic and anxiety. I didn't even know how to make contact with Varick. I needed to see him and tell him how I felt about this, that it didn't matter what Oma said. I tried to calm myself. I would see Varick tonight, when I cured Cathy. He promised he would be there. I wiped the tears from my eyes. Yes, I would talk to Varick and explain everything to him. I was suddenly anxious to get to Cathy's home.

  I walked into the bathroom so I could freshen my make up and run a brush through my hair. Then I walked slowly down the stairs and into the living room. I had to apologize to Oma. I knew she only had my best interest in mind and that she loved me with her entire life. I guess I couldn't blame her for what she had done or said to Varick. It was her way of protecting me.

  As if I need more protection.

  I didn't walk into the kitchen where Oma was. Instead I waited silently in the curved doorway.

  "Oh, okay, Cathy. Yes, you sound very tired. Tomorrow then? Get some rest and call me if you need anything." Oma hung up the receiver slowly and stood staring at the phone.

  "Oma?"

  "Jacey? You startled me."

  "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. And I also didn't mean to get so upset with you. I know you meant well."

  Oma pressed her lips together, attempting to smile at the same time. "I'm sorry too, Jacey. I should have just told you my concerns and let you handle Varick."

  I walked over to Oma and threw my arms around her. I hugged her tightly, feeling the boniness of her small frame. We finally pulled apart after a minute. "So, was that Cathy?" I asked cautiously.

  "Yes, apparently she is tired and doesn't feel up to having visitors tonight," Oma said frowning. She refilled her coffee cup.

  "Oh." My voice was full of disappointment as I carried the dishes to the counter.