Nova

by Delia Delaney

  “You’ve got four more years.”

  “What?”

  “To wait,” he sighed. “When he’s twenty-eight. Then he’ll think about getting married.”

  I stared at him for several seconds. “He’s got a certain age in mind?” I asked with disbelief. “He’s never- we’ve never talked about that before. He really has an age he’s shooting for?”

  He shrugged. “That’s what he said. I mean maybe he’ll change his mind, but…”

  “Oh, jeez,” I groaned, running a hand through my hair. “Four years. Four years until he’s twenty-eight; four years of vet school…”

  “He’s laid it out.”

  “Yeah, I guess so,” I growled. “His perfect little plan.”

  “Nova, don’t take what I say as fact, okay? Austin is pretty unpredictable. Sticking to that kind of schedule is really out of character for him.”

  “No, actually it seems to fit him pretty well. I mean he doesn’t want to settle down right now, and he’s trying to force me to go to school for four years to keep me busy while he continues racing. I think that makes sense to me. Marriage isn’t the type of thrill that Austin is looking for. Sure he’s unpredictable when it comes to the exciting things in life, but right now this—whatever kind of screwed up relationship we have right now—is probably pretty exciting to him, right?” Jack started to chuckle but I shook my head and said, “I’m not kidding. He likes the drama. It’s way more exciting than being tied down in a marriage for the rest of his life.”

  “Nova, I’m sorry. I really am. Austin is just—”

  “This is nothing new to me, Jack, so don’t think I’m surprised by any of it. I mean not getting married until he’s twenty-eight is news to me, but I know Austin’s personality and I understand that I pushed too soon. But twenty-eight? I had no idea he wanted to wait that long. Why didn’t he just tell me that?”

  “Would you have stuck around?”

  “Of course I would have,” I retorted. “I’m in this for the long haul. And of course I would always hope that he might change his mind, but this should have been something that he talked to me about. At least then I would have some sort of idea of what to expect.”

  “Will you reconsider going to school again? Knowing that Austin might not be ready for marriage for four more years?”

  I really did think about that for a moment, but I already knew my answer. “No, I don’t want to continue with school. I’m happy with my life right now.”

  Jack sighed and slightly shook his head. “I wish there was something I could do to help you out.”

  “I think I should just stop talking about it altogether. It doesn’t do me any good.”

  He chuckled and nodded his head. “Okay.”

  “So tell me about Melissa and your date with her. When are you guys going out?”

  Jack and I talked about it for a while that evening as we tended to a few things around the stable. After that we did some preparation for the two surgeries we’d be doing in the morning, and then we ended up talking about Melissa again. I was glad to hear about someone else’s relationship issues besides my own, and even though Jack was pretty pessimistic about anything serious coming from the date, he was still pretty nervous about it. Jack was a funny guy, and that humor sometimes clouded his true feelings on occasion, but he was pretty open about how he felt—from how he had no clue where to even take her to how much he wished he knew what she thought of him.

  “Just be yourself,” I kept telling him. “It doesn’t do anyone any good to start a relationship trying to be someone else. All is revealed sooner or later, and it’s better to just get all the facts out there right off the bat. And I know she likes you, Jack. You really are a great guy, so if she’s not the right woman for you, there’s one out there somewhere. And if you’re not taken in four years, and Austin still doesn’t have a clue, you and I just might be a great match.”

  He laughed at the tease and replied, “If Austin doesn’t have a clue by then, it’ll serve him right to see you with me. But will you still be working here?” he inquired with a smile.

  “Uh, hopefully. Why?”

  “Oh, then sorry. Around here we don’t date fellow employees.”

  I laughed and said, “Maybe I’d just have to quit.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “How admirable. But I’ll probably be the one to quit. I’ll be old enough to retire in four years.”

  I laughed out loud, but my phone was ringing with a call from Austin, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to answer it.

  “I’ll leave you alone.”

  “Wait!” I almost panicked. “I mean…what am I supposed to tell him?”

  “We’ll be done by noon tomorrow and I can take care of the follow-up that evening. If you feel like you need to go see him, Nova…then make the trip.”

  He left so I answered the phone, but I really dreaded the call at that moment. I was still a little upset about Austin’s plan of waiting for four years and I wasn’t sure how to confront him about it. Maybe I really should make the trip, just so I could clear up a few things…

  Chapter Twenty

  Saturday morning I was up at six. I was to meet Jack for surgery by seven, so I headed downstairs to eat some breakfast first. Ben was in the kitchen already, sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal and some toast.

  “You’re up early,” he said.

  “So are you. Going somewhere?”

  “Nope. I’m always up at this time.”

  “Really? I usually don’t see you until after ten. I just assume you’re still sleeping.”

  He smiled and replied, “No, I get up when you’re still sleeping.”

  “Hmm.” I grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and filled it with cereal, and then I proceeded to mix some strawberry milk.

  “I can’t believe you eat all that garbage for breakfast,” Ben said.

  “Garbage? Cereal and a glass of milk?”

  I sat down at the table across from him and he chuckled at my feigned innocence. “Golden Grahams and Nesquick. How long does that sugar high last you?”

  “Mm, usually most of the day,” I smiled. “And what are you, the sugar police?”

  “Yes, and you should cut back.”

  “Well thanks for the concern, but I only eat this maybe once a week.”

  “True, because you usually just have the strawberry milk every morning.”

  “I’m not much of a breakfast person.”

  “So what’s the occasion?”

  “Surgery.”

  “For your pancreas?”

  I laughed and said, “Not for me, you fool. For Zorro.”

  “Ah, I see. And then what do you have going on for the rest of the day?”

  “Mm, another surgery for Wizard.”

  “So are you busy for the entire day or can you go to town with me to pick up some things for Jack’s party?”

  I frowned because I wasn’t planning to be at Jack’s party. “Uh, sorry but I’m flying out this afternoon.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “To where?”

  “Uh, Texas.”

  He just stared at me for a moment and then took a bite of cereal. “Hm, not surprising, I guess.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Exactly what I said. It’s not a surprise.”

  “But you said it like…it was a big disappointment or something.”

  “It is.” It was my turn to stare at him, but finally he put his spoon down and faced me. “Look, I know it’s none of my business, but I just think it’s a mistake to run to him every time he tells you to.”

  “I want to see him, too.”

  “Maybe so. But maybe you should just make him wait it out a little longer. Give him something to think about.”

  “What, that I don’t want to be with him anymore?” I chuckled sarcastically. “I don’t want to give him the wrong idea.”

  “I think he already knows you’re committed to him, Nova. But maybe you need to make him feel like he’
s committed to you, too. Make him miss you a little bit more. Make him rethink his decision.”

  “I’m not going to play those kinds of games, Ben.”

  “It’s not part of any game. It’s just a tiny decision that could make a world of difference. I know you want to see him, but if you could just be a little more patient, I think you’ll get better results in the long run. I think you should go as long as it takes for him to realize he needs you full time, not part time.”

  I guess I could see his point, but I was trying not to think about the fact that Austin could become content with this type of routine in the coming months. I really didn’t want to be his once-a-month girlfriend, but I had to have confidence that what he and I had was going to prevail over whatever it was he was thinking these days.

  “The arrangements are already made,” was all I said.

  After Ben drank the last bit of milk in his bowl, he shrugged his shoulders, put his dish in the sink, and left the kitchen.

  I sighed and forced myself to eat the rest of my cereal, even though I wasn’t hungry anymore, and met Jack in his office at six forty-five.

  “How long have you been out here?” I asked. Zorro was lain out in one of the surgical rooms, already put under.

  “I’ve been up since four. Couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d have him ready for you to cut right at seven.”

  I smiled as I washed up in the sink, and while I dried my hands and put on a pair of gloves I said, “No wonder you feel old. You don’t get enough sleep. Happy birthday, by the way.”

  “Thanks,” he replied. “And happy birthday to me from Wizard. She’s not ready for surgery today, so we’ll hold off until Monday.”

  I slightly frowned. “I’ll still be gone on Monday. I get back late that night.”

  “I know, but I figured you’d like the day off.”

  “Uh, I’d really like to remove the tumor, Jack. What about Tuesday?”

  “Don’t you have school?”

  “It’s just a classroom day; I can miss it.”

  “Now, now, we mustn’t skip school,” he scolded playfully. “What time are you done?”

  “Noon.”

  “Well if you want to make an extra trip up here that afternoon, you can do it on Tuesday. But don’t miss school. I’ll have her ready to go at two.”

  So that was the plan, and I was pleased. However, I felt awful for forcing Jack to make special arrangements just because I was heading out of town last minute.

  When Zorro’s surgery was finished, it was only nine-thirty. I was expecting to be done around noon, so I decided to spend some extra time on myself before I headed to the airport. Jack had left for the day to spend the afternoon with some of his family and friends in Long Beach, so when it was time for me to leave, I left his gift on his bed, knowing he’d be back that night for his party at the ranch.

  I was coming down the stairs with my bag when Ben came through the front door. I thought maybe he was still mad at me from our earlier conversation, but he smiled and said, “Need a lift? I’m heading into town for my mom, so I can probably dump you off at the airport.”

  I chuckled and said, “Dump me off, huh. Uh…actually that would work out pretty well. Marlo was going to take me, but I know she’s been busy today.”

  “Yeah, she and my mom have been fighting over who’s doing Jack’s cake.”

  “Oh?” I smiled. “So who prevailed?”

  “I think Marlo since she’s over there whipping it up as we speak.”

  “Oh, then I’ll take you up on your offer. Let me just tell her I’m leaving and then we can go.”

  He took my bag and asked, “Is this all you’re taking?”

  With a shrug I said, “I don’t need much.”

  “You mean you don’t require a different pair of shoes for each outfit?”

  “I’ve got two extra pairs of shoes in there. So technically, if you count the pair I have on…yeah, I have a pair of shoes for each outfit. I’m only going to be gone until Monday, anyway.”

  “Hmm. Okay, go talk to Marlo and I’ll be in the Jeep waiting.”

  Marlo was really happy that I was going to see Austin for the weekend. She supported anything that meant getting us back together, even though I tried to warn her that Austin probably wasn’t ready yet.

  “I know, sweetie. He’s just… Austin is very independent. He practically raised himself,” she added with a smile. “The kid was so smart and very driven. He’d get an idea and go for it. He got in a lot of trouble that way, too. Having a self-reliant child is good in many ways, but it’s also made him obstinate. It works great for him in the business world, but he has a few lessons to learn from the rest of life.”

  Marlo seemed to know that no one could change Austin’s mind except Austin, and even though I was kind of getting tired of hearing that, I still beat myself over the head by wanting to hear everyone’s opinions.

  “Jack told me that Austin doesn’t plan on getting married until he’s twenty-eight. Does that sound right?”

  She paused for a few seconds before she said, “It used to be thirty. Maybe you’re gradually breaking him down.”

  She’d said it with a smile, but I wished that I didn’t have to “break him down.”

  Marlo sighed. “Nova, I don’t mean that in a bad way. I just mean that Austin has always been used to his own little independent world. I’m sure that when he met you he wasn’t expecting so much to change. I’ve never seen him love someone like he loves you, and I know it took him by surprise.” She smiled, seeming to think something over. “You know, when he first told me about you he was pretty excited. He said, ‘Mom, I met the girl of my dreams today.’ ”

  I smiled, just imagining his voice say that.

  “I asked him why he would think that and you know what he said? He said, ‘Mmm, we hardly even talked to each other, so I’ll get back to you on that.’ ”

  I lightly laughed, assuming it must have been the first time he’d come into the diner.

  “But Nova… Do you understand where I’m going with this? He was drawn to you before he even knew why. That’s some powerful stuff. And he fell for you pretty hard—we could all tell because that wasn’t like Austin at all. But Austin doesn’t know what it’s like to be a quitter. He gets his mind set on accomplishing something and he goes for it. His racing goals are pretty much set in stone.”

  “And I got in the way of that,” I said matter-of-factly. Marlo looked like she wanted to disagree, or say something to make me feel better, but she ultimately didn’t say anything. I shrugged with a sigh and added, “I guess I’ll take it a day at a time. For now I’m off to see what Texas has in store for me.”

  She smiled and held out her arms for a hug. “Have fun, Nova. Give Austin a hug for me.”

  By the time I’d landed in Dallas/Fort Worth it was eight o’clock. I hadn’t seen Austin for three weeks and I didn’t know what to expect. My little girl heart was elated, anticipating a happy reunion and possibly a change of heart on Austin’s end.

  Although the time with him was everything that I’d hoped it would be, he made no mention that weekend of getting back together. I was too afraid to even bring it up, and I definitely didn’t ask him about his marriage timeline. I wanted to leave on a good note, without any disagreements or frustration between us, so I avoided the subject entirely.

  That next week I didn’t even hear from him. He’d texted me on Monday to see if I made it home okay—he said that he already missed me and I said that I missed him too—but I didn’t hear from him a single time the rest of the week. I even called twice, leaving him a message both times. Calling a third time wasn’t an option for me (I didn’t feel that I should have to call a third time), but I did text him about his race in Florida that would be in two weeks. I got a response from the text, but apparently he wasn’t willing to talk to me on the phone.

  This pattern continued on for two more weeks. Austin would reply with a brief text, but he wouldn’t call me back. I still
chose to leave him a message every few days, just to be supportive and to tell him how much I loved him, but I knew he wasn’t going to call me back. I could have taken it two ways. One being that he really wasn’t planning on getting back together with me, and his only reason for inviting me to Texas was for his own selfish reasons. I hated thinking about it that way, but I was pretty good at assuming the worst. The other reason could have been that he really was pretty busy trying to focus on his career. Being that no one else had heard from him either, I wanted to believe that excuse more than anything.

  But it only took a few minutes to make a phone call, so the next time I left him a message I made sure that he knew I wasn’t okay with his lack of communication. He did call me back after that—two days later—but I was pretty sure he called when he did because he didn’t have very much time to talk to me.

  “They’re waiting for me to drive this car, Nova, so I gotta go. I just wanted you to know that I’m ‘capable of using a phone,’ ” he said, repeating a part of the message I’d left.

  “Okay, but are you capable of having a conversation with me?”

  There was a pause on the other end. Finally he said, “Probably not. That’s why I don’t want to talk to you on the phone. I just can’t do it.”

  “Can’t do what? Talk to me? You can’t talk about your day, or even tell me what you had for lunch?”

  “Yeah, I can handle all of that. It’s the other crap I can’t deal with and it always comes up.”

  I knew what he was talking about without making him specify. He meant our relationship, or our “status.”

  “Austin, I didn’t bring it up a single time while we were in Texas.”

  “And it was amazing. I enjoyed every second with you. But I could tell you wanted to talk about it.”

  “Of course I wanted to, but I didn’t. I know how pressured you feel lately with racing. I wasn’t going to add to your stress.”

  He didn’t say anything, and while I was fretting about how our little grumble was going to turn out, I heard someone talking to him at the same time.