by Lucy Lennox
But someone or something had been watching out for us. I knew Xander didn’t believe in that kind of stuff, but I did. There was just no other way to explain us finding each other again.
Motion to my right drew my attention, and I saw Bear darting into the tree line after something near Jake’s cabin. He reappeared a moment later with a large stick and ambled up to where Jake stood on his porch. We hadn’t seen Jake since the previous fall when Xander and I had flown to Colorado after Lolly’s accident.
Jake’s eyes met mine briefly and he nodded at me, but that was it. It would have been easier to ignore him and the entire situation, but I’d learned that nothing good came from pretending. I’d done that my whole life and it had nearly cost me everything.
I climbed to my feet and made my way to Jake’s cabin. He continued to throw the stick for Bear, and as I got closer, the dog brought me the stick. I tossed it for him just as I reached the bottom of the steps. Jake’s cabin looked almost identical to Xander’s, though he’d done some work on his porch to make it larger. The sight of the single chair on the porch saddened me, though I wasn’t sure why.
“Morning,” I said.
He nodded at me. “You guys back for good?” he asked.
“Yeah, we arrived last weekend. Moving truck hasn’t gotten here yet, though. We’re actually moving to town. It’ll be easier for Lucky to get to school that way… and for us to run the business.”
Another nod. The man clearly wasn’t in the mood to talk, and I was half-tempted to turn around and go home. This man had feelings for Xander and even though he’d never acted on them, it still made me somewhat uncomfortable. I knew I was it for Xander, but knowing this good-looking guy felt something more than mere attraction every time he looked at my man just weirded me out.
I didn’t want it to be that way.
Despite everything, Jake meant a lot to Xander, and I suspected the friendship was important to Jake as well.
“Xander’s stopped by a couple of times to talk to you about staying on with the company. And to make sure you were coming to Gary’s retirement party today,” I said.
We’d completed the purchase of the lodge and wilderness expedition business a few days earlier. Xander and I had spent the past eight months working on everything we’d need to make the business ours. Included in the purchase had been a small house near the lodge which we were set to move into in a couple of days when the movers arrived.
“Been busy,” Jake murmured as he tucked his hands in his pockets.
Fuck, I should just go. He doesn’t want me here.
I ignored the thought and climbed the stairs. No way I was letting Xander lose his friend over this. “I know this must be incredibly hard for you,” I began. “To see him with me—”
“It’s not,” he cut in. “It’s… it’s good to see him so happy.” Jake glanced at our cabin briefly before dropping his eyes to where Bear lay at the foot of the stairs chewing on the stick. “I knew the night he told me about you that there would never be anyone that could hold a candle to you. Even if I’d been in a position to act on my feelings, I wouldn’t have… he never would have been okay with settling.”
I understood what he was saying. I’d done the same with Aiden when I’d started dating him. I’d tried to make him fit a mold that had been created solely for Xander. It hadn’t been fair to Aiden or to me.
“I’m sorry, Jake.”
“Nothing to be sorry for,” he said. “Things worked out exactly as they were meant to.”
“Why didn’t you tell him how you felt?” I asked. “Why not take the chance? You couldn’t have known I was going to show up one day. He told me what you said to him about life being too short not to say what you mean…”
Jake sighed and then settled his eyes on me. “I don’t know the details about what happened between you two when you were kids, but whatever it was, I know it had to hurt like hell.”
I nodded because the emotion clogging up my throat prevented me from speaking. Despite putting the past behind us, the memory of that night was still raw. I suspected it would be a good long while before that sensation disappeared altogether.
“Not everyone is as strong as you guys, Bennett. Not everyone is willing to risk their heart again… not even when the perfect opportunity presents itself.”
His eyes drifted to our cabin again before shifting back to the view in front of him.
“You lost someone,” I said as understanding dawned. He didn’t answer and I didn’t expect him to. But I did see his body stiffen just a little bit.
An awkward silence fell between us and I knew I should go. I began walking down the steps, but stopped when I reached the bottom. I didn’t look at him when I said, “He misses you, Jake.”
When he didn’t respond, I said to Bear, “Come on, boy.” The dog jumped up, grabbed his stick and trotted ahead of me.
“Bennett.”
I stopped and looked over my shoulder at Jake.
“Can I bring anything to the party?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Some of that weird homemade beer crap that Xander likes so much. He says it’s your secret recipe.”
Jake chuckled and nodded. “You got it.”
I hid my smile long enough so he wouldn’t see it and hurried back to the cabin. Just as I reached the bottom step, Lucky came tearing out the front door, clothes askew. “Oh thank god!” he said when he saw me. “I thought I missed you.”
I chuckled and climbed the stairs. I slapped him on the back and said, “Go get the keys. You’re driving.”
“Yes!” he shouted just before he turned and ran back into the house. Lucky still only had his learner’s permit, but in a matter of weeks, he’d be taking the test to get his license. Another sign he was growing up too damned fast.
As I followed him into the cabin, I glanced at Jake’s cabin one more time. His eyes met mine across the expanse between the two buildings, and I saw him nod before he went back inside.
It wasn’t much.
But it was a start.
Only a few guests had arrived at the party by the time Xander showed up with Lolly. She had her arm through Xander’s as they walked and she was speaking softly to him. After the accident, Xander had spent several weeks in Colorado caring for his aunt until she’d practically ordered him to go home. Lucky and I had flown out once over a weekend, but with Lucky being in school, we hadn’t had the option of staying with Xander to help him take care of Lolly.
It had turned out that Lolly had found her very own knight in shining armor in Steve, the director of the nudist colony. He’d been the one to call Xander after the accident, and had been a regular visitor to the hospital, as well as after she’d arrived home. He’d also been the bare-assed guy showing Lolly a good time when Xander had walked into Lolly’s apartment the weekend before.
As expected, Lolly had completely healed after a lot of rest and some physical therapy. She’d even made the trip out to New York to spend Christmas with us. I watched her approach for any signs she was favoring the leg she’d broken, but she looked perfectly fit. Better yet, Xander looked completely at peace.
It was something I’d been waiting a long time to see.
I’d known how hard it was for Xander to spend so much time in New York. But he’d done it without complaint.
The adoption had gone off without a hitch within three months of me filing the application, so in theory we could have moved to Colorado shortly after Christmas. But we’d been reluctant to have Lucky start at a new school in the middle of the year. I’d also needed the time to get the new foundation up and running so I could hand it off to the husband and wife team I’d selected to run it. I’d decided to make a clean break from the foundation, since I wanted my sole focus to be on Xander, Lucky and our new business. It had been tough to say goodbye to the kids, but Xander and I had a lot of plans to help kids from all over the country experience the world in a way they wouldn’t have the opportunity to otherwise.
It had b
een much easier to cut ties with my parents. I’d given notice at my father’s company, but he’d informed me via a memo that a month’s notice wasn’t necessary— I was welcome to leave that very day. He’d sent security guards along with the directive to “help me with my things.” I hadn’t seen him again after that. He hadn’t gone through with his threat to encourage potential sponsors to steer clear of my foundation, but I’d suspected that’d had more to do with how that would have made him look rather than doing it for my benefit.
I’d gone to Greenwich to say my goodbyes to my mother a few weeks after I’d gotten back from Colorado, but she’d been predictably disinterested. She’d wished me well, but hadn’t asked more than superficial questions about where I was going and what I was going to do. It had been hard to admit to Xander that I’d held out hope that maybe I’d still get my “moment” with her and my father, but it hadn’t happened. I’d finally had to accept that some stories just didn’t have happy endings.
But Xander and Lucky had given me plenty of “moments” to cherish in the past eight months. Hell, every time I woke up next to Xander, it felt like a moment.
“Hi honey, how are you?” Lolly said once they reached me. I automatically walked into her outstretched arms.
She was the best damn hugger in the world, and despite having seen her private bits more than I cared to admit, I would never get tired of feeling her slim arms hugging me so tight, I was certain she’d never let go.
“I’m good, how are you feeling?” I asked as I led her to one of the chairs we’d set up on the lodge’s back patio.
“Great. Margaret and I won our tennis tournament last weekend, so I’ve been bragging about it to anyone who will listen.”
I held up my hand for a high-five. “Way to go, champ. I didn’t realize you were already back in top form.”
“Well, Margaret has a big rack, so that may have helped. We were playing Hal and Bert. Like shooting fish in a barrel.”
I should have known better than to take a sip of my drink when Lolly was around, but as it was, I nearly choked.
As she continued filling me in on the latest and greatest happenings at Bear Trodden Acres, I saw Jake walking across the lawn towards us. Xander had been chatting with one of the lodge employees, but when he saw Jake, he excused himself and went to greet his friend. There was a little bit of awkward tension between the two men at first, but when Jake held up a container of brown liquid, Xander smiled and slapped Jake on the back. I was glad that I didn’t even feel a shimmer of jealousy as they walked across the patio to where all the food was laid out on tables. They snagged a couple of glasses, filled them up and began chatting.
Xander sent me a quick look, and I winked at him to let him know I was perfectly fine with him talking to the other man.
The smile that lit up his face had my insides warming. He was so different from the angry, bitter man I’d encountered when I’d stepped off that bus nine months ago. But he wasn’t exactly the kid he’d once been, either. It was like he finally felt like he fit into his own skin.
The same way I finally fit into mine.
I liked to think it was something we’d brought out in each other.
Gary’s arrival caused the few people milling around to burst into applause. After all, he was the reason for today’s celebration. I watched as he, Xander, and Jake talked for a few moments. It wasn’t until Gary headed my way that I realized he wasn’t alone.
“Bennett,” he said as he reached out his hand. I got up to shake it.
“Gary, you remember Xander’s Aunt Lolly, right?”
“I do,” he said. The pair exchanged small talk before Gary returned his attention to me. “Is Lucky around? I wanted to introduce him to my nephews.”
“Yep, he’s playing with Bear,” I said as I motioned to where Lucky was throwing a ball for Bear in the yard. “Lucky!”
When he looked up, I motioned to him and he jogged over to us. As soon as he saw Lolly, he leaned down to hug her and she gave him an all-in hug like she had me. I loved how he took the time to ask her how she was feeling. He quickly straightened to say his hellos to Gary as well.
“Lucky, I don’t think you’ve met my nephews, right?” Gary said.
Lucky shook his head. I could see a flash of insecurity go through him as his eyes fell on the boys who looked to be about his age. “No, sir.”
“This is Tony,” he said as he put his hand on the shoulder of one boy. “And this is Will.”
“Hi,” Lucky said as he nodded his head and shook both guys’ hands.
“Hey, man,” Tony said.
“Tony will be in your class this fall, and Will is a year behind you.”
Lucky nodded awkwardly. Part of me wanted to wrap my arms around him and remind him he was perfect just the way he was, but I refrained. I knew there were some things I couldn’t protect him from, and the awkwardness of meeting new kids his own age was just one of them.
“So Will and I are headed to Marmot Falls to meet up with some friends for a swim. You wanna come?” Tony asked.
Lucky’s eyes shifted to me. “Um…”
I gave him a quick nod, more as encouragement than to grant him permission.
“Yeah, I’d love to,” he said, his body relaxing marginally.
“Cool dog,” Will said as he bent down to pet Bear. “You can bring him along.”
“Yeah, sure,” Lucky said. There were a few more moments of awkward tension as the three said their goodbyes to us and headed off. As Lucky passed Xander, they bumped fists in a way the two other boys wouldn’t notice.
“Thanks for that,” I said to Gary as I motioned in the direction the boys had disappeared in.
“No problem. I remember that age,” he said. He sat down in the chair next to Lolly and continued chatting with the older woman while I went to mingle with the other guests.
Until I spied the one guest I’d been waiting all morning for.
“Hey,” I said as I met Aiden halfway across the yard and walked right into his arms. I was surprised when he held me a little longer than expected.
“Hey, B,” he said softly.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I am now,” was all he said before pulling back. “You look good,” he said. “Got you some this morning, did you?”
I punched him in the shoulder. “Pig,” I said with a snort. “Come meet people, but behave yourself. A lot of them work for us now, and the last thing Xander and I need are sexual harassment claims,” I joked.
“Fair enough,” Aiden said. The answer was so un-Aiden.
“You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” he said, forcing a smile to his lips. “Where’s the kid?”
“Off making friends,” I said with a grin.
Aiden nodded. “Good for him. I was hoping to steal him away from you guys tonight for a movie and dinner… tacos preferably, if this hick town even knows what Mexican food is.”
I chuckled. Aiden and Lucky had grown close over the past year, and I’d wondered which of them benefited more from the relationship. “I was actually going to ask you if you wouldn’t mind hanging out with him tonight. Xander and I are going camping.”
He raised his eyebrows at me. “Is that code for getting your slutty ass fucked up against a tree again?”
“Jesus, Aid.” I shook my head at him. “But yeah, I fucking hope so. Are you going to take him or not?”
“Yeah, I’ll take him… time to show him a few things.”
“Don’t even think about it,” I warned.
“What?”
“Corrupting my kid. I bet you’ve already googled all the places in Denver that serve your two favorite things. Bourbon and go-go boys.”
“Married life has turned you into a prude,” Aiden said as he put his arm around my shoulders.
“Shut up,” I said. “Stop saying that.”
“What, the prude part?”
“No.”
“Ah… the married part. Don’
t worry, B. It’ll happen.”
“I know,” I said.
It wasn’t the exact truth, but I didn’t want Aiden to know that. After Xander had mentioned marriage the one time last summer when we’d been talking to Lucky about adopting him, he’d never brought it up again. After my adoption of Lucky had been finalized, I’d been certain we’d revisit the topic, but when Xander had asked about starting the process of him adopting Lucky without mentioning anything about marriage, I’d started to wonder if it was something he just wasn’t ready for. I’d been hesitant to bring the subject up myself, since so many things in our lives had changed so quickly.
“You could ask him, you know,” Aiden said.
“I will… I just want to let things settle down a bit first.”
Aiden tugged me up against his side but didn’t say anything else.
Which was exactly what I needed.
Xander
It was after six o’clock by the time Bennett and I made it to my favorite spot on the trail. The Drummond Lake vista was laid out in front of us. The long trail cutting through the grass to the lake, the deep blue of the water sparkling in the late afternoon sun, the verdant greens of the trees stacked on the hills beyond the lake, and the giant snowy peaks of Woodland Rise shooting skyward in the distance.
This was the spot where we’d stood that first full day of the trip the summer before. The spot where I’d wanted to sneak my hand into his and just soak in the moment with him— my favorite mountains with my favorite person. It was as magical as I’d hoped it would be.
Bennett sighed as he took in the view. “So gorgeous,” he murmured.
I studied him. “Mm-hm. Absolutely stunning.”
I slipped off my pack and then reached around him to unbuckle his waist belt before pulling his pack off. He turned to look at me with furrowed brows.
“What are we doing?”
“Just taking a moment. This is my favorite spot,” I explained with a smile.
“Same here. I love it. So glad you brought me back here.” He turned to take in the view again and I leaned in to peck his cheek.
“I’m glad you like it as much as I do.”
I slipped my hand into his and we stood side by side looking at the wonder laid out before us. After a moment, I stepped around to face him and dropped to one knee.